What Are You Focusing On?

 It is my belief that as long as we hang on to our differences to such a degree that we don't like other people or we blame them for what's happening in the world, we can end up perpetuating those types of experiences. Conversely, if we can accept that others hold a different view or belief and focus instead on what we DO agree on or what we DO appreciate about each other, we can have relationships that are much more peaceful and freeing.

This blog I wrote a few years back offers some more thoughts on the options we have to navigate the road ahead. There might be some nuggets in here for you to ponder on.

Some of my best friends from college and I were sharing our most favorite song at that particular time and while I was writing the previous blog post, a response came through from one of them mentioning U2's "Love Is Bigger Than Anything In Its Way" which couldn't have been more perfectly timed for what I was writing.

My other friend said that his current favorites were both by Cody Jinx . . . "Hippies and Cowboys" and "Somewhere in the Middle" . . . I laughed and said "So basically songs about the 3 of us?" 

From our original gang of eight close knit friends, I have remained the closest to these two guys. Our friendship is just as strong now (maybe even stronger) than it was back then. Interestingly enough for as long as I can remember, the three of us have held different positions on a lot of things . . . . whether it was politics or religion or the music we listened to. As an example, one of us would only listen to country music, one of us would only listen to alternative music, one of us was willing to listen to both . . . One of us was a hardcore Catholic, one of us was a semi-present Catholic and one of us was raised without any religion at all. And yet, it didn't stop us from being really close friends.

While reflecting on our connection, I've realized how much things have shifted over the years. Where we used to argue and debate our stance back in the day, we've moved to a place of accepting that we have differences and it doesn't stop us from appreciating each other and the friendship we share. If we DO talk about those topics, it is usually with a desire to understand where the other is coming from, rather than looking for an opportunity to pounce and tell the other one why they are wrong. 

I've also been fascinated to observe that we've often changed positions over the years. The one who wouldn't listen to country music now loves it and the one who would only listen to country music now listens to a whole variety of music. The one who was raised without any religion ended up converting to Catholicism, while another one has moved away from religion completely. There is a fluidness to it all. I can see that nothing is ever cast in concrete and we shift and change when we want to, not because we got beat down by the opinion of others. We are free to keep shifting and changing who we are. Granted, the three of us aren't perfect so occasionally we slip back into old ways and tease each other over a difference here or there but the majority of the time, we allow for those differences to be there.

The reason I am sharing all of this is because I can sense that this is something that will help us all navigate the road ahead. As long as we hang on to our differences to such a degree that we don't like other people or we blame them for what's happening in the world, we can perpetuate those types of experiences. As long as we ridicule and shame others for their beliefs, the more unhappiness and upheaval we will likely experience . . . and the more difficult it will be for everyone on the planet.

Conversely, if we can accept that others hold a different view or belief and focus instead on what we DO agree on or what we DO appreciate about each other, we can have relationships that are much more peaceful and freeing.

It's important to remember that accepting is not the same as agreeing. We don't have to all AGREE on every single issue in order to have a respectful relationship. If we can accept that we are going to have differences and focus instead on what we have in common, where we have shared beliefs or shared hopes for the future, it will go a long way toward shifting and uplifting our relationships. If we are able to accept that everyone is on their own journey, learning and growing in their own time and their own ways, the opportunities for peace and building bridges can present themselves even more rapidly.

I feel blessed that these two guys are still in my life. Regardless of where we are different, I know that any interaction we have is going to include a ton of laughter because we seem to bring out the best in each other when it comes to wit. I also know that no matter what, we will always show up for each other because we see each other with our hearts first. 

We have that choice every day. To use our hearts to help us see. To use compassion to help us connect. To hold space for others who are on a different path. At least for me, taking that approach makes life a whole lot sweeter. 

Shifting Gears

Today, I was reminded that there might be something positive waiting behind things that don't look so positive at first, if we are willing to pivot. Where is the silver lining in the things that might have dragged us down in the past? 

It all began when I attempted to meditate in the backyard. I was so excited to see the sun finally come out and I couldn't wait to get out there. 

I got to enjoy maybe five minutes of that before I had to shift gears. It seemed the vacationers in the AirBNB behind me got engaged today and I was having increasing difficulty sharing their "joy" as they called every friend and family member on speaker phone to share their wonderful news! LOL

Quickly I made the decision to put my ipod on with earphones and let myself get lost in 1,000 of my most favorite songs rather than focus on how much I dislike living behind an AirBNB. 

Fortunately, the magic of the music found me and with each new song, I felt myself shifting into happier and happier states of mind . . . Goosebumps kept hitting me on certain lyrics as each new song played . . . it was as if it was a special "set" that had been assembled just for me today . . . 

It started with Steve Winwood gracing my heart and my ears as he sang "And we'll drink and dance with one hand free and have the world so easily, oh we'll be a sight to see, back in the high life again."

Then the Pretenders sang, "Now the reason we're here, every man, every woman . . . is to help each other - stand by each other. When love walks in the room, everybody stand up! Oh it's good, good good, say I love you, I love you, I love you!

After that Pete Townshend sang "Let my love open the door" and Eddie Money sang "She waits by her window and she shines her light for me, to help me through the harbor" 

This was followed by Lou Bega singing "Cause you can't run and you can't hide, you and me gonna touch the sky" and the Indigo Girls rounded out the set with "Let's make peace tonight, the moon is bare and shining bright, let's make peace tonight."

I think we ALL have something that can catapult us into higher frequencies, higher states of happiness . . . Fortunately for me, music is my thing and it is always there for me. 

Today I was nudged once again to not let what is happening around me keep my energy low and remember that there could just be something wonderful waiting around the corner if I am willing to alter my perspective just a bit and/or let go of what I had originally planned (silent meditation) and allow something else to occur (joyful connection with music and song lyrics). 

What helps YOU make that shift?  It might be helpful to have it "on hand" as the current energies are intense and it's a wonderful way to support ourselves.