What If We Don't Know Everything?

Today I feel inspired to put some thoughts out there for folks to consider. Given what I am seeing so rampantly lately, I invite you to ponder this: How good are you at accepting and processing new information? From a broader perspective, I have been observing some concerning trends that have me pondering what is going on. Are we terrified at the thought that we might not know everything? or expect ourselves to be right about everything? Are we afraid of being wrong? Or are we uncomfortable with the thought of having to assimilate new information / beliefs?

Lately, I've been observing how much resistance people have to hearing anything that doesn't match their current beliefs and also noticing how often they admonish anyone who has a differing view or different information.  

I see people lashing out at a person when they have attempted to shine the light on something or share something they believe is true. These folks react by ridiculing the person or flat out bullying them with negative comments, shutting them down, labeling them with harsh things like "idiots, conspiracy theorists, etc." or demanding that they "prove that with irrefutable scientific evidence." 

It can be incredibly disheartening when you see how downright ugly we can be to each other when we are presented with something that we are not ready to consider. I've also observed that the more we don't want to believe something is true, the more resistant we can often be.

It makes me wonder: Why we are so afraid to be open to the possibility that we may not know the truth about everything?

Over the years, I have come across a lot of information that I didn't want to believe at first. Seeing someone that we have believed in or thought was a trusted authority figure crumble before our eyes can be difficult to wrap our brains around. I get it. It's hard to process when someone we looked up to has fallen off the pedestal we had put them on. Sometimes it is a case of finding out about a piece of new information that has you shaking your head in disbelief because it doesn't "fit" with what we thought we knew. Maybe it is something we don't want to see. Or we don't want to believe that what we are being shown could be possible. 

There's that feeling of overwhelm that can come with it and we can be hit with the fear that everything we thought was true will come crashing down around us if we accept this new piece of information. 

So how do we process new information? 

What I have learned is this: Even though something can initially have me reeling, it's a good idea to just sit with it. I've learned to wait and see if more information on the topic comes across my path in the coming days, weeks and months. I've learned to keep my eyes and my mind open so that if more information DOES come along that either confirms or refutes what I had read before, I will see it and be able to process it. I've learned to let the internal "dust" settle as I process new information because that is often when I get clarity. 

Given that the only thing we can truly control is ourselves and our reactions to things . . . that's usually a good place to start. Another thing to consider is that when someone says something that riles us up, rather than lashing out at that person, maybe we can stop and ask ourselves "Why is that bothering me so much?" 

Is it possible the person is sharing information that you just don't WANT to believe? What if what was being shared WAS true? What would it mean to us and our lives? Would we be able to continue living as we assimilate the new information? or would our world truly fall apart if we accepted a new "truth" into our reality?

If you still think the person is an idiot or a conspiracy theorist, can you keep that to yourself rather than demeaning the person with those labels? Can you just file it away and accept that everyone has a right to believe what they believe? Maybe even consider the possibility that there might be some truth in what they shared?

Sometimes new information forces us to let go of some of our old beliefs. That isn't always a bad thing. Think about how your beliefs have changed throughout your life. (For instance, I used to believe that Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy were all real)  :-) 

Why is this relevant now?

I have a feeling that many of the things that have been "hidden" from us for decades (and centuries) are going to start coming out with greater frequency - that we are going to be told things we may not want to know or be shown things that we don't want to accept. It seems like now is a pretty good time to prepare for it, to look at ourselves and see how we react and respond to information that is outside our comfort zone or outside of our "reality bubble" . . . 

A question to ponder: Can we look for ways to process new information that we might not initially be comfortable with? or believe are totally wrong? Can we do it in a more peaceful way - where we don't have to make others WRONG? It could shape whether hearing new information is a terrifying experience or an experience that ultimately allows us to begin spreading our wings - it is entirely up to us. 

What Are You Focusing On?

 It is my belief that as long as we hang on to our differences to such a degree that we don't like other people or we blame them for what's happening in the world, we can end up perpetuating those types of experiences. Conversely, if we can accept that others hold a different view or belief and focus instead on what we DO agree on or what we DO appreciate about each other, we can have relationships that are much more peaceful and freeing.

This blog I wrote a few years back offers some more thoughts on the options we have to navigate the road ahead. There might be some nuggets in here for you to ponder on.

Some of my best friends from college and I were sharing our most favorite song at that particular time and while I was writing the previous blog post, a response came through from one of them mentioning U2's "Love Is Bigger Than Anything In Its Way" which couldn't have been more perfectly timed for what I was writing.

My other friend said that his current favorites were both by Cody Jinx . . . "Hippies and Cowboys" and "Somewhere in the Middle" . . . I laughed and said "So basically songs about the 3 of us?" 

From our original gang of eight close knit friends, I have remained the closest to these two guys. Our friendship is just as strong now (maybe even stronger) than it was back then. Interestingly enough for as long as I can remember, the three of us have held different positions on a lot of things . . . . whether it was politics or religion or the music we listened to. As an example, one of us would only listen to country music, one of us would only listen to alternative music, one of us was willing to listen to both . . . One of us was a hardcore Catholic, one of us was a semi-present Catholic and one of us was raised without any religion at all. And yet, it didn't stop us from being really close friends.

While reflecting on our connection, I've realized how much things have shifted over the years. Where we used to argue and debate our stance back in the day, we've moved to a place of accepting that we have differences and it doesn't stop us from appreciating each other and the friendship we share. If we DO talk about those topics, it is usually with a desire to understand where the other is coming from, rather than looking for an opportunity to pounce and tell the other one why they are wrong. 

I've also been fascinated to observe that we've often changed positions over the years. The one who wouldn't listen to country music now loves it and the one who would only listen to country music now listens to a whole variety of music. The one who was raised without any religion ended up converting to Catholicism, while another one has moved away from religion completely. There is a fluidness to it all. I can see that nothing is ever cast in concrete and we shift and change when we want to, not because we got beat down by the opinion of others. We are free to keep shifting and changing who we are. Granted, the three of us aren't perfect so occasionally we slip back into old ways and tease each other over a difference here or there but the majority of the time, we allow for those differences to be there.

The reason I am sharing all of this is because I can sense that this is something that will help us all navigate the road ahead. As long as we hang on to our differences to such a degree that we don't like other people or we blame them for what's happening in the world, we can perpetuate those types of experiences. As long as we ridicule and shame others for their beliefs, the more unhappiness and upheaval we will likely experience . . . and the more difficult it will be for everyone on the planet.

Conversely, if we can accept that others hold a different view or belief and focus instead on what we DO agree on or what we DO appreciate about each other, we can have relationships that are much more peaceful and freeing.

It's important to remember that accepting is not the same as agreeing. We don't have to all AGREE on every single issue in order to have a respectful relationship. If we can accept that we are going to have differences and focus instead on what we have in common, where we have shared beliefs or shared hopes for the future, it will go a long way toward shifting and uplifting our relationships. If we are able to accept that everyone is on their own journey, learning and growing in their own time and their own ways, the opportunities for peace and building bridges can present themselves even more rapidly.

I feel blessed that these two guys are still in my life. Regardless of where we are different, I know that any interaction we have is going to include a ton of laughter because we seem to bring out the best in each other when it comes to wit. I also know that no matter what, we will always show up for each other because we see each other with our hearts first. 

We have that choice every day. To use our hearts to help us see. To use compassion to help us connect. To hold space for others who are on a different path. At least for me, taking that approach makes life a whole lot sweeter. 

How Are We At Handling Conflicting Information?

Lately, I've been observing how much resistance there is to people hearing anything that doesn't match their current beliefs. I see people lashing out at the person who has attempted to shine the light on something they have a concern about. Often others react by ridiculing the person or flat out bullying them with negative comments, labeling them as "idiots, conspiracy theorists, fear mongerers" etc. or demanding that they "prove that with irrefutable scientific evidence." 

As someone who has been on the receiving end of some of these labels, as well as a witness to it happening to others, it can be incredibly disheartening when you see how downright ugly we can be to others when we are presented with something that we are not ready to consider. It seems that the more we don't want to believe something is true, the more resistant we can be. Why are we so afraid to open up to the possibility that we may not know the truth about everything?

Seeing someone or something that we have believed in or felt was a trusted authority crumble before our eyes can be difficult to wrap our brains around. I get it. I have experienced this myself, many times, when someone I looked up to fell off the pedestal I had put them on. I didn't want to see it at first - I just didn't want to believe that the "truth" that was being shown to me could be possible. 

There's that feeling of overwhelm that can come with it, the fear that everything we thought was true is going to come crashing down around us if we accept this new information. 

Over the years, I have come across a lot more information that I didn't want to believe at first. Even though it often initially had me reeling, in time I learned that it was helpful to just sit with it or "put a pin in it." I learned to wait and see if more information on the topic came across my path in the coming weeks and months. I learned to keep my eyes and my mind open so that if more information DID come along that either confirmed or refuted what I had read before, I would see it.

Knowing that the only thing we can truly control is ourselves and our reactions to things, that can be a good place to start. When someone says something that riles us up, rather than lashing out at that person, maybe we can stop and ask ourselves "Why is that bothering me so much?" 

Is it possible the person is sharing information that you just don't WANT to believe? What if what was being shared WAS true? What would it mean to us and our life? Would we be able to continue living as we assimilated that new information? or would our world truly fall apart if we accepted a new "truth" into our reality? Could it be possible that some of what the person is sharing is true? 

If you still think the person is an idiot or a conspiracy theorist, can you keep that to yourself rather than publicly slamming the person with those labels? Can you just file it away and be open to the fact that everyone has a right to believe what they believe? Can you maybe even consider the possibility that there might be some truth in what they shared?

Sometimes new information forces us to let go of some of our old beliefs. That isn't always a bad thing. Decades ago, I was given the opportunity to learn that doctors don't always have all the answers. Does that mean I think all doctors are bad? Not at all. It just means that I don't expect them to be perfect anymore. And it helped me learn to tune into my own body, to listen to what it was telling me instead of relying solely on a doctor's knowledge and opinions. Was it disappointing at the time? You bet it was . . . and yet ultimately it also helped empower me.

One of these days many of the things that have been "hidden" from us for decades (and centuries) might start coming out . . . and if so there is a good chance we are going to learn things we don't really want to know or be shown things that we won't want to accept. It seems like now is a pretty good time to prepare for it, to look at ourselves and see how we react and respond to information that is outside our comfort zone or outside of our "reality bubble." 

It may be the perfect time to find ways to process new information that we might not initially be comfortable with. That way, if and when light is shed on things that were previously hidden from us - whether it is a horrible experience or an experience that ultimately allows us to begin spreading our wings - will be entirely up to us. 

Manifesting With Our Thoughts

I have long held the belief that we create our reality based on what we believe, that our thoughts and feelings are the things that manifest what shows up in our lives.   Yet, even though I hold this belief, I guess in some ways I didn't think that it applied to everything. :-)

Case in point, one of my clients and I confessed to each other sometime in the last year that the time we feel most "un-zen" is when we are in our cars.  We admitted that no matter how calm and at peace we feel at every other moment of the day, when we are out driving we become irritated with other drivers to the point where we don't like who we become . . . which is very angry.  I never thought about the fact that I could be manifesting this experience through my own thoughts and feelings.

Last weekend I was at her house giving Reiki treatments to her dogs and she asked me if I had seen Louise Hay's newsletter on Driving With Joy.  She said when she read it, she thought of me right away and all the conversations we have had about how irritated we get when we're in the car.  She promised to forward the newsletter to me, which she did a couple of days later.

Here is an excerpt from Louise's newsletter:

It is amazing how many people choose to be angry and upset when they drive. Then they wonder why there are so many poor drivers around them. I learned a long time ago not to get upset because someone else does not know how to drive. That is their problem, not mine.

The rules of the road are the same as the rules of life. What we give out in words or thoughts are exactly what will return to us. If we believe that the world is full of lousy drivers, then that is exactly what we will experience.

If we want to have a pleasant driving experience, then it is up to us to create it. The moment I enter my car, I bless the car with love and affirm that I will have a safe, happy trip, surrounded by good drivers.

I giggled to myself when I read the above portion of the newsletter, realizing that I must hold the belief that the world is full of lousy drivers since that seems to be what I experience on a regular basis.  :-)  I decided it couldn't hurt to try changing my belief so the next day when I got in the car, in my head I said, "I am surrounded by wonderful drivers" and I said it several times throughout my drive.  Much to my amazement, I didn't encounter a single bad driver on my way to the appointment.  

It was such a nice change from what I normally experience!  I tried it again on the drive home and sure enough, another easy drive home.  I tried it again the next day and much to my delight, same result!  I didn't encounter anyone on the road that made me angry or irritated - not one person made me feel like they were jeopardizing my safety.  

On the third day, I had an easy drive on the way to an appointment - I was clearly "surrounded by wonderful drivers."  It wasn't until I was on my way home from the appointment that my new belief was challenged.  As I was exiting the freeway, the gal in the car in front of me was looking at her cellphone and therefore didn't realize she was straddling both the exit lanes.  I started to feel the irritation building and I was on the verge of screaming, "Put your *$^%# phone down and focus on the road" but instead I said, "I am surrounded by wonderful drivers (deep exhale) . . . I am surrounded by wonderful drivers (deep exhale) . . . and just then, she put her phone down and moved into the right lane.  I was able to move into the left lane and miraculously even got through the intersection while the light was still green.  

It has inspired me to look more closely at the less pleasant experiences I have and see what beliefs I hold that could be creating them.  Thinking back to my recent challenging experiences with the phone company, I must hold the belief that no two people at the phone company will give you the same answer, since that was what I kept experiencing. :-)  Next time I need to call them, I am going to try shifting my perspective and see what happens.

So, if you happen to be plagued with irritation at other drivers as well, or irritation with anything else, you might try shifting your belief and see what happens.  The results may pleasantly surprise you! 

Alternative ways to treat cancer

I discovered last June that my thirteen year old German Shepherd, Lucky, had cancer.  I have been taking her to a holistic veterinarian for 11 years so I had long ago left the world of tests and biopsies.  The tumors appeared on her body and they were growing and my intuition told me they were cancerous.  That was all the confirmation I needed.  Well, most days I thought so. Many people questioned my decision to avoid getting tests run and I had a few moments of self doubt here and there, wondering if I was doing her a disservice by not getting tests to confirm what was going on.  Then other moments where I knew I couldn't drag her to another vet for tests because I had made a promise to her 11 years ago that we wouldn't do that anymore. 

I found that this issue of Lucky's health shook up my foundation many times, making me question my beliefs, to second guess myself, to wonder if I was misguided and then ultimately finding my way back to my beliefs again, maybe even more strongly than before.  

Shortly after I discovered the tumors, I spoke with my vet.  He reminded me that the only thing tests would do would be to give me the name of the type of cancer and that in the process of getting tests done, cancer cells could end up being spread to other places in her body.  I knew that wasn't what I wanted and I made my peace with not knowing the specific name of the cancer she had.  I felt good about the path I was on. 

My vet and I discussed our shared belief that our bodies are designed to be able to heal themselves and that one of the best things I could do was support Lucky's immune system.  I started giving her an herb that is designed to do just that, (boost her immune system) and she started getting daily Reiki treatments from me.  We also started her on another herbs that would work on getting rid of the tumors.   I knew this was the right course of action for us because for me personally, chemo and radiation were never going to be an option I would choose.  I wanted to get rid of these tumors and I also wanted to minimize any negative impact on Lucky's body.  

It was a rocky couple of months, not seeing the tumors change in size and wondering what I was doing wrong, worrying that it wasn't going to work.  I knew I had to face the fact that Lucky was 13, which is a pretty advanced age for a German Shepherd and that she might not be able to fight this.  I also knew I had to accept that when her time came, it was her time and I didn't have the ability to change fate.   

We switched to a different herb after a month to see if that worked and after another month, there was still no change in the size of the tumors. I wasn't willing to give up though and Lucky was telling me she wasn't ready to give up either.  She told me by continuing to have a great appetite, by having energy and still being goofy.  She told me in ways that I could feel in my heart, that she wasn't ready to go, so we pressed on.  

There were many moments where my fears and emotions would get the best of me and my intuition, which seemed to work effortlessly with other people's animals, seemed to not work at all when it came to Lucky.  There were days where I would be overcome with sadness and worry . . . worry about what I would do without her, worry that I wasn't doing enough, worry that I was letting her down in some way by not being able to make these tumors go away.  The first herb hadn't worked, the second herb hadn't worked, the third herb hadn't worked.  I was running out of options and feared that I was running out of time.  It had been 4 months and there was still no improvement.  I would have moments where I didn't think I would be able to figure out what to do, where I just wanted someone else to tell me what to do . . . and then eventually, I would find my center again and be able to access my own intuition about what to do next.  

After a particularly rough couple of days of self doubt and worry, I finally found my center again.  I felt peaceful and more empowered.  I let my mind go quiet and asked what I needed to do to make these tumors go away, if that was possible.  The answer came into my head . . . I needed to give her a combination of the 1st herb and the 3rd herb.  I couldn't explain it scientifically, I didn't know why the combination of those two was the potentially right combinations, I had no data to back it up.  All I knew was that an answer had come to me and I wasn't about to ignore it.  I immediately started Lucky on the combination of the two herbs.  I tried to resist the urge to check the tumors every day to see if they were changing, but at first it was hard to keep my hands off them.  Eventually, I managed to stop checking them and tried to just trust that we were on the right track. 

Last week, about three weeks after I had last touched her tumors, I decided to run my hands over them.  Much to my surprise and delight, they were smaller.  I was afraid I was wrong, afraid to get my hopes up, so I didn't touch them again for another week for fear that I would touch them again and discover they hadn't changed at all.  But yesterday, I checked them again and sure enough, they are smaller.   

There is still a long list of unknowns . . . I don't know if the tumors will keep shrinking, I don't know if I am going to need to change up the herbs I am giving her to keep this progressing positively, I don't know how long she'll be with me even if we do make the tumors go away.  

What I do know though, is that this was the right path for us.  I also know that one of the most important things I have learned through this is that I need to keep trusting myself, trusting my intuition and trusting what I am picking up from Lucky.  I have also come to realize that there are new options out there every day for dealing with disease.  We aren't stuck with limited choices if we're willing to take a chance at trying something new and if we're willing to trust that the right path will present itself if we stay true to ourselves and our own beliefs.  

For the moment, I am blessed to have a beautiful German Shepherd, who can still make me laugh and melt my heart.  I am holding the intention that the tumors continue to shrink until they are completely gone and I try to take a moment every day to picture her healthy and cancer free.  I know I can't make her live forever but I can love her and appreciate her every day that she is here, and I can keep trusting that my intuition will help guide me to make the best choices I can for her.  

If you have an animal with cancer, I hope you'll explore the many alternative treatments that are out there and trust yourself to find the one that is right for you and your animal.