It's probably no surprise that I hold the belief that we should treat all living things with kindness and respect. I guess it kind of goes hand in hand with being an animal communicator and an empath. Yet I am still delighted when I receive a sweet little piece of confirmation that my approach is appreciated.
The other day, I was sitting at the kitchen table, working on the computer when I heard what sounded like yelling outside the house. Kino heard it at the same time as me and began to bark. With his barking drowning out the commotion, I couldn't distinguish what the sounds were exactly so I got up to look out the kitchen window.
Much to my disappointment I saw three kids bothering a crow that was on my front lawn. They were flapping their arms and lunging towards him aggressively, while yelling "Caw Caw." When they got close to him, he flew up over my house. I felt so bad for the crow. I don't ever like to see anyone (human or animal) be teased or frightened and I knew I needed to say something . . . to the crow.
Walking out the front door, I got to the edge of the walkway where the driveway begins but couldn't see him anywhere. I had no idea if he was still around but I hoped that he would be able to hear me and began speaking to him. I told him that I was very sorry he had been treated that way and I hoped he knew he was always welcome in my yard.
I questioned for a moment whether I was crazy or not, trying to talk to a crow that may be long gone but then I heard a sound above my head. When I looked at the top of the garage there he was, walking to the edge of the roof line so I could see him. He looked at me for a moment, with what felt like a complete recognition of what I had just said. Telling him again that I was sorry about what happened, I reminded him that I appreciated his presence and hoped that he was ok. After a few more seconds of eye contact, he turned around and flew off the roof of the garage.
Satisfied with the outcome, I went back inside the house and explained to Kino what had occurred. It made me realize how well the situation illustrated the very thing that many people have been grappling with lately - which is around the importance of focusing on what we CAN control. I'm not going to lie - I DID have the thought that I'd like to run outside and yell at the kids for being unkind to the crow but I knew doing that was just going to create more negative energy and likely not change their behavior. What I DID have control over was speaking to the crow and showing him some respect. Coming from my heart in that conversation, the energy I put out was more positive and loving, which is an energy I would prefer to be in and around.
We all get to choose, in each moment, how we are going to react and respond to things. Are we going to complain about what other people should be doing differently? or are we going to look at what is within OUR control at that moment. I'm certainly not perfect in my responses but I do know that each time I can respond from a place of love instead of judgement, I feel a whole lot better.
Sunday, June 16, 2019
Monday, June 3, 2019
Do You Need To Say It?
Something I have been observing is that people seem to be even more critical and cranky and wanting to be "right" than ever before. Lately the thought of getting on Facebook or Next-door has me cringing because so many of the comments lean towards the negative. So, I am writing this post as a plea . . . asking if you will please ask yourself "Do I need to say this?" before you make a comment.
This is up for me right now because my next door neighbor posted some beautiful pictures on our neighborhood Facebook page yesterday . . . pictures she had taken of all the incredible birds she had been able to enjoy just that day. Her post was clearly one of gratitude, as she expressed appreciation for getting to live in an area where such a variety of beautiful birds visit her yard.
And then the comments began . . . she was corrected on the spelling of one of the birds. Really? Will any harm really come to a Stellar's Jay if his name is written "Stellar Jay"? She was corrected on the identification of one of the birds, then more people chimed in to disagree and argue about who was right. I shook my head in disappointment . . . they all seemed to be missing the point of her post. Then someone commented on how much they loved Stellar's Jays and that they were told by a Park Ranger that they are actually considered a nuisance bird but that it didn't make her love them any less. And the derogatory comments began to fly . . . about the park ranger . . . about what birds are indigenous to our areas and which ones aren't . . . and what people do to the birds they don't "like" . . . the more I read, the more my heart sank. My poor neighbor just wanted to share an uplifting post with some amazing photographs she had taken and instead people couldn't seem to make negative comments fast enough.
It got me thinking about how often things devolve this way - especially in social media . . and I thought about how much I wished people would pause before commenting . . . to take a breath and ask "Do I need to say this?" . . . Is it the end of the world if the spelling is wrong? Is it going to have a positive effect on the situation if I malign the unnamed Park Ranger? Is it going to do any good at all? or is it just going to create negative energy? Is it just going to inspire more people to be negative?
When I was sitting with this last night, wondering why it bothered me so much, I realized that it comes down to how we treat people and treating people with kindness and respect is very important to me. It takes so little energy to treat others with kindness (or to follow my mom's rule of "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all") We have choices all the time about how we say things . . . a few word changes and we can either help someone or really knock someone down.
Years ago, when I was working on my book (which still isn't done), one of the people who was helping me edit the book had a particularly harsh way of giving feedback. Instead of saying "you mention this here and then you mention it again in the next chapter, you probably only need to say it once" - she said "You're totally insulting the reader by saying this again, you're treating them like they aren't smart enough to remember information from the previous chapter!" I was stunned because I didn't have ANY intention of insulting someone who was reading my book. The manner that she chose to give me feedback eroded my self esteem so much, I questioned whether it was worth it or not to get her assistance. It even made me question whether I should try and finish the book.
There is so much going on in the world right now and I get that people are frustrated and they are scared and yet to me, it seems like that makes it even MORE important to show others a little kindness. Can we cut each other a little slack? . . . Can we take a breath and ask ourselves "Do I really need to say this?" or "Is there a nicer way I can say this?" Rather than hurting people's feelings and making them feel "less than" can we instead say things in a way that allows for a little grace? Can we show each other just a little more kindness? I think it would go a long way towards making this time we are in feel a little less frustrating and scary.
This is up for me right now because my next door neighbor posted some beautiful pictures on our neighborhood Facebook page yesterday . . . pictures she had taken of all the incredible birds she had been able to enjoy just that day. Her post was clearly one of gratitude, as she expressed appreciation for getting to live in an area where such a variety of beautiful birds visit her yard.
It got me thinking about how often things devolve this way - especially in social media . . and I thought about how much I wished people would pause before commenting . . . to take a breath and ask "Do I need to say this?" . . . Is it the end of the world if the spelling is wrong? Is it going to have a positive effect on the situation if I malign the unnamed Park Ranger? Is it going to do any good at all? or is it just going to create negative energy? Is it just going to inspire more people to be negative?
When I was sitting with this last night, wondering why it bothered me so much, I realized that it comes down to how we treat people and treating people with kindness and respect is very important to me. It takes so little energy to treat others with kindness (or to follow my mom's rule of "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all") We have choices all the time about how we say things . . . a few word changes and we can either help someone or really knock someone down.
Years ago, when I was working on my book (which still isn't done), one of the people who was helping me edit the book had a particularly harsh way of giving feedback. Instead of saying "you mention this here and then you mention it again in the next chapter, you probably only need to say it once" - she said "You're totally insulting the reader by saying this again, you're treating them like they aren't smart enough to remember information from the previous chapter!" I was stunned because I didn't have ANY intention of insulting someone who was reading my book. The manner that she chose to give me feedback eroded my self esteem so much, I questioned whether it was worth it or not to get her assistance. It even made me question whether I should try and finish the book.
There is so much going on in the world right now and I get that people are frustrated and they are scared and yet to me, it seems like that makes it even MORE important to show others a little kindness. Can we cut each other a little slack? . . . Can we take a breath and ask ourselves "Do I really need to say this?" or "Is there a nicer way I can say this?" Rather than hurting people's feelings and making them feel "less than" can we instead say things in a way that allows for a little grace? Can we show each other just a little more kindness? I think it would go a long way towards making this time we are in feel a little less frustrating and scary.
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