Can You Tell My Pet To Stop Doing That?

In recent months, I have seen an increase in the number of clients who have requested that I tell their pet to stop doing something.  I wish it was that easy but the truth is, regardless of how well I can communicate with animals, I can't just tell them to stop doing something or to behave differently.

When an animal does something, they do it for a reason, so unless we understand and address the underlying reason, we won't have much luck changing a behavior.

I put the underlying causes into three categories:

1.  There is a medical reason.  An example of this is last winter, while I was enjoying the first couple sips of my morning coffee, Kino walked over to the table and peed all over my jacket that was hanging on the back of the chair.  My first reaction was to be mad.  He has been potty trained since the first week he came to live with me and he knows better!!  But my second thought was, "There has to be a reason he did that" . . . and sure enough, Kino had a bladder infection.  We treated the infection and he has never peed in the house again.

2.  There is an emotional trigger.  Many of my clients have adopted their pets from rescue organizations or shelters, where a lot about their past isn't known.  Depending on what type of experiences an animal had prior to coming into our lives, they may have emotional reactions to similar stimuli.  Many dogs were not socialized, so their reactions to other dogs (or cats or squirrels or people) can seem over the top and even scary sometimes.  Dogs that were left alone all the time may have separation anxiety now.  Kino was obviously left in the yard all the time because when we went into the yard, if I took even one step towards the back door, he'd go flying across the yard and into the house, wild eyed and frantic.  It took about 3 years to decrease his fear and build his trust.  I can now go back into the house while he is in the yard and he doesn't panic or charge for the door.  Sometimes an animal is upset about something. A change in the household, whether it's a new pet, a child going off to college, a divorce or a remodeling project, can often bring about new "unwanted behaviors."  Understanding how your animal is feeling about the change and working with them to address their concerns can often bring a positive shift to those unwanted behaviors.

3.  They are trying to teach us something.  Animals come into our lives to teach us things - things that will help us be better versions of ourselves and have an easier time in life.  It is helpful to look at our animals behavior and ask ourselves "What could he/she be trying to teach me?"  One of the most common "lessons" that I have seen with my clients is animals who are trying to teach their guardians how to set boundaries.  Do you set up consequences (and stick to them) when your animal does something they shouldn't?  If not, that might be the thing they are trying to help you get better at.  (Animals give us the opportunity to practice setting boundaries with them, so we have an easier time setting boundaries with the people in our lives as well).  Do you have a pushy animal who constantly wants attention, to the point where they are starting to get on your nerves?  Chances are they are trying to get you to put yourself and your needs higher on your priority list.  Setting some boundaries for "Me Time" is often all it takes to resolve the needy dog issue.  I know it may sound crazy but I have seen it enough times that I am no longer surprised.

Our animals always have a reason for what they do.  If we can understand what is going on underneath the behavior, we have a much better chance at addressing it.  Something for you to ponder this week:  What do you think your animals are trying to teach you?