Sometimes You Just Need to Laugh

This is one of those things that is sad but it's actually pretty funny as well so everyone reading this has my full permission to just enjoy the laugh and not feel sorry for me.  :-) 

A couple nights ago I was having a tough time . . . Kino's legs were weaker than usual and I was trying to get a harness on him and get him outside to go potty before he had an accident in the house - but *I* was having trouble providing the support he needed. My lower back was really sore and weak which made it harder to hold him up. His back legs kept slipping and sliding out from under him, like he was doing the splits, which made it even more difficult to hold him up and not trip over his legs. I was doing best not to step on his feet / legs and not fall down myself but it was extra hard that night. 

Reaching a place of overwhelm, I began to cry . . . feeling in that moment like I didn't have it in me to keep doing this. As we were fumbling our way to the door, I grabbed what I thought was a kleenex from the table to stick up my nose. (FYI: I have taken to just sticking kleenex up my nose lately because I cry a lot - both good tears when something has really touched my heart and sad tears when I feel overwhelmed with what Kino and I are going through and I have been experiencing both of those reasons for tears with more intensity lately.)  

Once I had secured the kleenex up my nose, we managed to make it the final stretch out the door and even though we were still slipping and sliding, I did my best to hold it together for both of our sakes, especially because we were going out the FRONT door. 

We can get to grass quicker in the front yard, which provides more traction than concrete so he often opts for the front yard - thus having kleenex shoved up my nose was a bit of a "risk" but a risk I was willing to take because I was actively crying and generating a lot more snot. It was getting dark so I hoped no one would be walking past the house at that exact moment and see me looking like such a hot mess.

Once we were outside was when I noticed that the "kleenex" wasn't feeling too good. It was rough and scratchy and hurting the inside of my nose and I was also getting a strong scent . . . I couldn't put my finger on it because I was so focused on trying to keep Kino standing yet I knew it was a familiar scent. I was sure I didn't have any scented kleenex or toilet paper in the house so I was confused but I didn't have a free hand to pull the kleenex back out of my nose. Thus I was forced to leave it there until I got him safely back inside. 

Well, as we were stumbling back into the house it hit me. I had accidentally shoved a used DRYER SHEET up my nose!!  Clearly it says a thing or two about the limit to my current house keeping skills if I have used kleenex AND used dryer sheets laying around - LOL - but it made me laugh so hard!  And it was just what I needed to shift my mood in that moment - from feeling overwhelmed to feeling amused. 

Every time I think about it, it makes me laugh all over again. Oh my goodness - if someone had seen me, we might have been photographed for some kind of social media group that share pictures of "scary / crazy people around the neighborhood."  LOL  

Anyway, I hope it gives everyone who reads this a bit of a giggle too. Just know that if you have rough moments or rough hours or even rough days, you aren't alone and it's OK. A lot of us are going through these ups and downs - especially those of us who are really sensitive to energy. 

This post is meant to encourage you to hang in there and let yourself have a laugh when you can. Sure, it's more fun to laugh at something outside of us - like a funny TV show or video or a good comedian but these days I will take the "funny" in any way it is available. :-) 

ps: I shared this story with a good friend of mine and once she stopped laughing, she DID express curiosity about the used dryer sheets laying on tables, so here is a quick answer to that in case anyone else is wondering. 

Here by the beach, in an old rental house, everything has a bit of a mildew scent - which is NOT a pleasant way for your clothes and linens to smell. Therefore, I place used dryer sheets in drawers, closets, etc. all the time in an attempt to keep things smelling a little better. AND with Kino being in the condition he is in, I frequently drop everything I am doing in order to help him (i.e. if he falls down or gets himself stuck somewhere). Therefore, I am only successful at getting from the laundry area to some mildew smelling location in the house about 50% of the time. The other 50%, I drop the used dryer sheet on the closest surface because my priority in that moment has shifted to Kino. Between that and the frequent tears . . . you can hopefully understand why there might be kleenex AND used dryer sheets laying about the house.  LOL

Our Animals Can Help Us See Ourselves

Over the years, I have seen example after example of where our animals can be a "mirror" for us. Often times when we understand what they need, we discover it is the same thing we need. Or when we identify something they need to work on, we find that it is something we need to work on as well. I don't think it's any accident that this occurs . . . as I believe it is part of their purpose here on earth, to help us learn about ourselves and help us grow. 

I get so tickled when I am able to witness these occurrences of "mirroring" - to see the eyes of a guardian light up when they realized how much they have in common with their animal or how deeply they are deeply touched when they learn more about what their animal is trying to teach them.

I vividly recall the opportunity I had to work with three wonderful women and their four horses many years ago. There were a mixture of physical and behavioral issues that had these women stumped and they were looking for insights into what was going on. 

When one of the gals asked me why her horse would occasionally stop and refuse to move anymore when they were out for a trail ride, her horse showed me through her feelings and some images that she needed to know the "big picture" before they went out for a ride. She wanted to know where they were going to go, how long they would be gone and when she was going to get to eat again. :-) 

As I was explaining in more detail about the horses' desire to have her expectations managed, her guardian shook her head and began to laugh. She said, "Oh my gosh, she's just like me!" It hadn't occurred to her that her horse needed the same thing she did but now that she knew, she was more than happy to start offering up more of an explanation before they left the barn. She knew how much it helped her to understand the "big picture" before engaging in something so it was easy for her to provide that to her horse.

One of the other horses was being pushed around by some of the other horses at the stable when they were out in the pasture. I sensed some confusion in him, given that he was always complimented by all the 2-legged folks for being such a sweet, gentle horse and he didn't know how to still be sweet and gentle while standing up for himself with the other horses. I talked to him about how it was OK for him to be confident, that he would still be the same sweet horse he's always been, even if he stood up for himself a bit more. I told him it was safe to be both sweet and confident.

At the time I was talking to him, I sensed it was potentially an issue for his guardian as well, but I didn't say anything at the time. I had just met her and wasn't sure how comfortable she would be if I began pointing out what my intuition was telling me about her. :-) 

Much to my delight, a while later when we were working with one of the other horses, the guardian brought it up herself, mentioning that she saw the connection when we were talking to her horse. She said she often was afraid to speak up for herself for fear that people wouldn't like her anymore. I suggested that maybe it had come up that day so that they could both work on it and help each other make progress on this area. The other ladies who were there with us were kind enough to chime in and let her know that she could speak up for herself around them and it wouldn't change how much they liked her. I could tell by the smile on her face, especially in her eyes, that it really struck a positive chord with her. 

The week before that, one of my dog clients was having difficulty recovering from an injury. I told his guardian that I sensed he wasn't healing because he wasn't resting enough. He seemed to always feel like he had to be "on" - always doing something, and since he never stopped moving, his muscles weren't getting a chance to heal. 

As I was explaining all of this, she looked down at the ground, then slowly lifted her eyes to meet mine and quietly said, "He isn't the only one who has this problem." She confessed that she had trouble being still herself, that she never seemed to stop moving either. I suggested that maybe it was something they could work on together. They could take some time out each day where they both rested and were just still. I sensed that it was something she would be more apt to do if it was also going to help her dog. 

I think our animals are offering us insights about ourselves all the time and there is so much we can learn if we look at ourselves as closely and lovingly as we look at our animals. All of my clients genuinely want to help their animals and go to great lengths to ensure they are happy and living a balanced life. I think their animals genuinely want to help their guardians too and will go to great lengths to ensure they too are happy and living a balanced life. 

Sometimes our animals will help give us the courage to do something for ourselves when we see how doing that same thing has helped them. 

Our animals are able to give us great insight into ourselves if we are willing to slow down, get quiet and pay attention to the subtle messages they are offering. 

So what do you think your animal is trying to tell you about yourself? You might be amazed at what you learn.

We All Have A Role To Play

People often talk about their purpose in life . . . as they ponder topics such as "Why am I here?" and "What am I meant to do?"  

I believe that the answer to that may reside in seeing ourselves clearly enough to know what WE have to offer, what our unique abilities and talents are. We each have innate skills and abilities and I personally think there is a reason for that - they are the roadmap to finding and fulfilling our purpose.

I have come to realize - over and over - how important each one of us is. No one person is better than another because we each bring something of value to the whole. I think the key to our forward momentum can be found in embracing ourselves and what comes naturally to us. It can truly be empowering when we are able to embrace what we are good at.

There is evidence all around us that when we bring our contributions and our gifts to the table, together we are able to accomplish incredible things. 

One of my favorite analogies for this is of building a house . . . I often think of the importance of the different roles that come into play and how necessary each one is. We can't build a great house if we only have architects, nor can we build a great house if we only have plumbers . . . there are so many different skills needed to build a wonderful house. 

We need architects and building designers, project managers, people who know how to navigate the often complicated process of getting permits and inspections. We need plumbers, electricians, dry wallers, people who can lay tile and flooring, etc. Interior designers and exterior designers are also needed, as they will know how to bring it all together whether it is what colors to paint walls or what materials are needed to create spaces that bring comfort and joy to those who live there.

Not all of us have or need to have the skills to be able to do all those jobs. 

For just about everything - a variety of skills are needed to bring something to completion and not just "completion" but synergistic and beautiful completion. Together we can accomplish more. No one role is more important than another. They are all valuable! We are all valuable! 

Putting on a play . . . you need someone to write the play, you need people who are great at acting to bring those words to life and a director to bring it all together. You also need great set designers, people who can make the perfect costumes, people who know how to light the stage just right. Each one of those roles fulfilled brings a play to life.  There are countless examples of where we need a "team" to accomplish something and so often our "purpose in life" isn't just about what we are meant to do by ourselves but how our individual contributions provide the needed puzzle piece in a larger picture.

Always remember that no one individual is more important in what they do. We each bring forth something important and we are ALL equally needed - because each one of us came into this world with unique gifts, abilities and talents. 

So I invite you to take a moment and think about what you are good at, what lights you up and inspires you? What gifts do you innately have? When do you feel the most freedom and the most joy? With our understanding of those things, we are more easily able to answer the question "What is my purpose?" 

I also believe that the more clear we are about what we individually have to offer, the quicker the Universe can bring forth opportunities to connect with just the right people who are in need of exactly what we have to offer. We can contribute positively to a greater vision just by knowing and seeing ourselves for who we are and embracing our natural gifts, talents and joys. 

p.s. I think that for many of us, what our purpose is going forward may end up being very different from what we have been doing . . . so the other thought I will leave you with is: Stay open to the possibilities. If we keep tuning into what lights us up, we may be given magical new pathways and opportunities to enjoy our lives even more.

Black and White

 

I have been hearing this song playing in my head all day today. It has been a favorite of mine since I was a little girl (I have always connected deeply with music and this is one of those songs that moved me to tears, even when I was only in elementary school).

Since it won't stop playing in my head, I am taking it as a sign that it needs to be shared so here are the lyrics to the Three Dog Night singing "Black & White" followed by a video below that. 

I hope it speaks to you as much as much as it speaks to me. I don't believe we were ever meant to be separate - not based on skin color or anything else. IMHO, I believe we are here to love one another no matter what our "differences" are.

                                               "Black & White"

The ink is black, the page is white
Together we learn to read and write
A child is black, a child is white
The whole world looks upon the sight
A beautiful sight

And now a child can understand
That this is the law of all the land
All the land

The world is black, the world is white
It turns by day and then by night
A child is black, a child is white
Together they grow to see the light
To see the light

And now, at last, we plainly see
We'll have a dance of liberty
Liberty

The world is black, the world is white
It turns by day and then by night
A child is black, a child is white
The whole world looks upon the sight
A beautiful sight

The world is black, the world is white
It turns by day and then by night
A child is black, a child is white
Together they grow to see the light
To see the light

The world is black, the world is white
It turns by day and then by night
A child is black, a child is white
The whole world looks upon the sight
A beautiful sight

The world is black, the world is white
It turns by day and then by night
A child is black, a child is white
Together they grow to see the light
To see the light

Black & White video

Another "Lucky For Me" Review

I recently received another review of my book that touched me so deeply it made me cry. As I read her words about how the book had supported her, I felt such gratitude because it was one of the ways I had hoped it could assist people. 

In the prologue of my book, I mention that part of the reason that I felt so compelled to share our story was because I felt deep inside my heart that it would be of assistance to others. 

I wrote: I know I am not the only person who has had an intense bond with their animal, nor am I the only one who has gone to extremes to help an animal recover from the abuse they suffered or heal their own trauma. My intention in sharing our journey is to light the path for those who find themselves with similar challenges. Whether you are someone who is extremely sensitive and feels things very deeply or you are trying to heal the past or you are in the process of self-discovery, my hope is that you'll experience some "aha" moments and points of connection through this book that can assist you on your own journey, and maybe even inspire you to find your way to a deeper understanding and appreciation of all you have to offer too. 

Receiving this heart-felt confirmation from this beautiful soul lit me up. She confirmed for me why it felt so important to write the book and share the journey that Lucky and I went on. Here is what she wrote:

Wow! All I can say is wow! I finished Lucky For Me (by Maureen Burkley) on the plane a few weeks ago.

The most PERFECT ALIGNMENT OF TIMING is indescribable. I don't remember when I got the book and started reading it, I’m a slow reader lately and I read in small chunks and then I pick it up again, but I feel like each time I picked it up, that each part I read served me so perfectly during that particular time.

Since we never had a dog, I have learned so much about dogs from this book. But the most interesting part, the book also made me think a lot about life…

As I got to the end, reading about Lucky's last year, last few months, down to last hours AND after her transitioning ... I can't even describe how meaningful it was for me - for my now and things I felt for Maureen and Lucky and for MYSELF at the same time, all interwoven together.

With each part of the book I read, it was like being there and being here and having a NEW understanding for the criss-cross points. I was able to begin to feel what Maureen felt AND see how those things connect to things unfolding in my own life right now.

I was able to understand Maureen’s decisions points, where they come from, and marvel at their relationship, at the end, not only had Lucky taught her and us so much, but ....compassion.... wow, compassion!! The place where compassion comes from!! Our wisdom. Our intuition. And the light and joy and peace that come with it.

I feel so much reverence for Maureen and Lucky. I thank her and Lucky both for how I was able to take what I was reading and connect it to my own life, my own journey in such a powerful way. Lucky is still teaching!!! Your pets are still teachers even after they are gone.

Zhanna Kozar