My Squirrel friend

Two weeks ago, I wrote about a squirrel I met in my yard. The day after I wrote that blog about him, he came for a visit . . . and much to my delight, he has visited me every day since then.

I'm almost embarrassed to admit how happy it makes me when I see him (might be a sign that I am finally ready to get another dog, since I seem so happy with his companionship) :-) I have found myself sitting in the backyard more often lately, because if I'm out there, he'll come by 3, 4 or 5 times, and he'll just hang out for a bit while I talk to him.

Sometimes, when I am on the phone, he'll come down and pretend he's going to dig in one of my pots. He'll stay there, not doing any actual digging, until I notice him and once I open the door and whisper "You remember you're not supposed to dig in my flower pots, right?" he'll excitedly run back up the fence. It's as if he just wants me to notice him.

Some mornings, I wake up and find him sitting on the back fence right outside the back patio door. It's as if he's waiting for me to get up. When he's there, I open the door and say good morning to him and he'll sit there for a minute, looking at me, and then casually walk down the fence.

Originally, I always knew he was my special squirrel friend because he walked very oddly. His arms and legs were farther out to the sides than most squirrels . . . so he almost looked more like a frog, with his belly closer to the ground. But while watching him this weekend, I realized he doesn't walk that way anymore. His arms and legs are tighter under his body, the way the rest of the squirrels look and it made me wonder if he was injured when I first met him . . . and if he started coming around so much because he needed some healing. I can't think of any other explanation for why he walks and runs so differently but now when he runs down the fence, he bounds just like the other squirrels and it makes me happy to know that he's feeling better.

Yesterday, he came by and hung out for about 20 minutes while I was sitting in the backyard working on the crossword puzzle. I decided I wanted to take a picture of him and asked if he'd mind sitting still while I did that. My sweet little friend was kind enough to hang out long enough for me to get my camera and snap several photos of him. He was so cute about it, he looked like he was actually enjoying his photo shoot, giving me several different poses. This one is my favorite. I have decided to call him Chester. I figured if we were going to spend this much time together, he ought to have a name other than "my squirrel friend."

I do think it's probably a sign that I am ready to get another dog. It will be interesting to see what the coming weeks have in store for me . . . but for the time being, I am happy to have Chester around to visit with. I hope he'll continue to come by for his daily visits.

Squirrels

I met a squirrel the other day that had me smiling so much, that I have found myself hoping I will see him again. Normally, I am not all that thrilled about having squirrels in my yard, because they dig up my daffodil bulbs, kill flowers that are still blooming and generally make a mess with all the dirt they throw around. When I see them in the yard, I remind them that I would like them to refrain from digging in my flower pots and usually they quickly run off - up the fence and out of sight.

So a month ago, I was sitting in the yard, doing the crossword puzzle and enjoying the sun, when a bold little squirrel walked right over to a flower pot three feet away from me and started digging away. I said "Hey, what are you doing?" He jumped out of the pot and stepped up on the deck and I thought he was going to tear out of the yard but instead he stopped, turned around and just looked at me.

I stood up and took a few steps towards him and he didn't flinch, which was odd, since the squirrels usually high tail it out of my yard if I move. I took another step towards him and then crouched down next to the deck, so we were eye level. I explained how I felt about he and his squirrel friends messing up my yard and killing my flowers and asked him if he would please leave my flower pots alone. He sat there, calmly looking at me and appearing to understand every word that I said, so I got up and sat back down in my chair.

As soon as my eyes focused back on the crossword puzzle, I heard a noise and looked up to find him in the flower pot again, throwing dirt at an accelerated pace, removing most of the pedals from the flower closest to him. Again, I got up and walked towards him and again, he moved up to the deck, only a foot away from the pot, so I crouched down and tried explaining one more time how much I wanted him to leave my flowers alone. He continued to look me in the eye and what I picked up from him was a mixture of understanding as well as determination - for as much as he got what I was saying and wanted to comply, he had a goal and he wasn't going to stop until he achieved that goal.

This little guy was fiercely determined and it's a quality I possess myself from time to time, when something it really important to me, so I couldn't really fault him for it. It made me laugh and I said, "OK, I get it - you really want the nut that is buried in the flower pot, so how about if you let ME fish it out for you because I think I can do it without making such a mess." He just looked at me but I swear, I could tell he liked that idea.

I reached into the pot, dug around a bit and found the nut he was looking for. I rolled it over towards him and smiled as I said, "Here you go sweetheart, now will you stay out of my flowers?" He excitedly grabbed the nut and then once again, just sat there looking at me.

I thanked him for letting me help out and told him that if he ever needed my assistance again, to just let me know. I said I'd be happy to do the "digging" for him, since I could help save my flowers that way. He turned around to leave twice, and both times changed his mind after a step or two and walked back towards me. He was so calm and peaceful and I could feel his gratitude. It may sound odd but I think we both felt like we had made a new friend that day.

A client of mine has had an enormous amount of grief to deal with in the last five years. She lost one of her beloved dogs, then she lost her husband, then she lost another one of her beloved dogs. Her remaining dog was like her lifeline. He was the thing that kept her going, her reason for getting up in the morning. So, this summer when she lost him, her final dog, she was consumed with grief.

The emails she sent me and phone conversations we had in the weeks that followed made my heart heavy. She spoke of her deep despair, and her fear that she had nothing left to live for. She worried that she would be consumed by the grief she was experiencing. She was unable to stop crying, unable to eat or sleep or even get herself in the shower. I kept encouraging her to give it time, to just feel what she was feeling and give herself the space to honor and process all the things she was feeling. I honored her feelings and did my best to just be there for her, so she knew she wasn't alone.

In one conversation we had, she asked me how I managed to still function without Lucky and I told her of the dream I had after Lucky died. In the dream, she told me she was going to come back to me as a german shepherd named Chance. I explained that it gave me something to look forward to, knowing my life would one day be filled with the love of a special companion again. It didn't immediately make her feel better, but it gave her something to think about.

Several weeks after that particular conversation, I got an email from her telling me of the exciting events that had been unfolding in her life. She ran into a gal she hadn't seen in years, who encouraged her to check out a rottweiler rescue site she knew about. She felt compelled to check out the website, even though she wasn't sure she was ready for another dog and when she got on the site, there was a rottweiler on the front page named Chance. She took it a sign and immediately filled out an adoption application.

The next weekend, her friend drove with her to the woman's house that had the rescue dogs and much to her surprise, she and Chance didn't connect at all . . . but there was another dog there, a dog named Chuck and it was love at first sight. The rescue gal knew immediately that they were a perfect fit. Chuck couldn't take his eyes off my client as they walked around the yard in perfect harmony. She said she felt a major connection to him.

You could feel the excitement bubbling out of her email . . . the words sprang off the page as she wrote about the contentment she felt as she drove home with him in her car . . . how she knew they belonged together and how much joy she felt in her heart. She felt she had a purpose again, a reason to be happy to wake up each morning. She sensed that Chuck was exactly what she needed in her life.

Since then, I have received many heart warming emails from her, keeping me up to date on the adventures she and Chuck have been having. It is so wonderful to see her happy again, to feel her joy. While she still feels the loss of her husband and three dogs, she has embraced this new chapter in her life and is enjoying it as it unfolds.

It has reminded me of the fact that for each of us, there is a 'right' time to get another animal after we have lost one. For some of us, we may need to wait months or years before we are 'ready' again and for others, the 'right' time is much sooner. No one can tell you what is right, you just need to follow your own heart and trust your own instincts. I do believe we are guided to the 'right next step' on our paths . . . we just need to stay opened and pay attention.

Available kitties!

Do you ever wonder about the feral cats in your neighborhood? Do you ever wonder what happens to the litters of kittens they have each year? Fortunately, there are kind-hearted people out there who do what they can to help the feral cat population and I have had the pleasure of knowing one of these wonderful people. She is making a real difference with the cats in her neighborhood and I am dedicating this weeks blog to her and the wonderful work she does.

She goes out of her way to spay and neuter the feral cats in her neighborhood, to try to help ease the over population problem. When a feral cat does have a litter of kittens, she takes care of the kittens, helps them to feel safe and to become comfortable with people. Then she finds them new loving homes so they can learn what it is like to live in a house full of kindness. Most importantly, she treats every one of these feral cats with dignity and respect. She does everything she can to help them . . . she is a wonderful guardian to all the cats whose path cross hers.

I don't think it is any accident that all the feral cats in her neighborhood started showing up in her yard month after month, year after year. After all, animals are smart. They know who is kind and they know where to go when they need help. They are savvy enough to know that Christa's house is a good place to go if they need food, medical treatment or if they just need to feel safe.

Christa has been looking for homes for the latest groups of "fosters." She put together a wonderful blog with pictures of the kitties currently looking for homes, and a description about each one of them. I am including the link to her blog, so that you can look at the precious kitties who are in need of new homes. Maybe you know someone who is looking for a new cat. Maybe you are looking for one yourself, or just maybe you'll meet someone in the next day or the next week who is looking for a cat and you can direct them to Christa's website.

These kittens have all been well taken care of and they are ready to find their forever homes. Can you help them find their new forever home? Take a look at Christa's website and see what you may be able to do to help. http://tabbyornottabby.blogspot.com/

Animals roles in our lives evolve

My neighbor invited me into her house the other day to look at the home improvement projects they had recently completed. We were busy looking at bathroom fixtures and light fixtures and I had been in the house at least 5-10 minutes when their dog Cricket finally realized I was there. (He had been sound asleep and his hearing doesn't work too well anymore, as he is over 15 years old, so he didn't know someone had come in). Once he saw me though, it was all wags and kisses and I spent some time giving him love and attention.

As I was petting him, my neighbor said, "He isn't much of a guard dog anymore, is he?" She went on to describe how someone could break into the house and he'd never know, etc. I felt bad for Cricket and didn't want him to feel that he was being criticized, so with a smile on my face I gently said, "Maybe that's not his job anymore . . . maybe he has another job."

I wasn't sure how my neighbor was going to respond . . . she was quiet for a minute or two . . . and then she said, "You know, I think you are right. His job is to take care of my daughter and he does a wonderful job."

It made me smile in a deep, from the toes sort of way. Her daughter is five years old and I love seeing she and Cricket together. They are the best of friends. There are times where I am in my backyard and she and Cricket are in their backyard and I find myself fighting back giggles when I hear her conversations with him.

She talks to him constantly, plays with him, lays with him, sneaks him extra treats when no one is looking, etc. Cricket gives her constant companionship, he makes her laugh, lets her do just about anything to him and he is happy to play along.

It made me happy to know that Cricket's mom was seeing that he does have another job to do now and it's probably more important than being a guard dog. I believe that the impact he is having on her daughters life right now, will stay with her and remain a positive for the rest of her life.

It got me thinking about the fact that the role our animals play in our lives can change and evolve over time . . . based on our needs. They may come into our lives to teach us something and once we've learned what they came to teach us, they may teach us something else, or they may play a role in another family members life or non-family members lives.

Several years ago, I met a woman whose dog had gone blind at a very early age. I remember her telling me that he still loved to play fetch in the water with sticks. She told me stories about the people they met who were astounded that he could find a stick in the water, even without being able to see. She told me that she thought part of his job was to help people see that it was possible to still life a full life, even with a disability. When they first adopted him, they had other expectations for the role he would play in their lives, but she fully embraced the new role he began to play after he lost his sight.

The one thing that I always trust is that animals know . . . they know why they are here, and they know what is needed most, even if we don't see it at the time. What magical creatures they are and what a blessing it is for us to have them in our lives.

Dream Interpretations

Sometimes our dreams just seem weird and don't seem to make any sense at all, but because I believe our dreams offer us a multitude of insight into what is going on in our subconscious mind, I have been more inspired lately to try to understand what my dreams are telling me, regardless of how weird they are. :-)

It all started a few months ago, when I was telling a good friend of mine about a recurring dream that I was having again. We couldn't figure out what it meant but shortly after our conversation, she came across a website, www.dreambible.com and told me about it. I was blown away the first time I used it, as I plugged in various elements of my recurring dream and over and over, my jaw dropped as I saw what each element meant. It painted a picture so clear, there was no denying what my subconscious mind had been trying to show me.

This website has opened the door to understanding more of the dreams that I could never make sense of . . . and from that, I found the insights and guidance my dreams had been trying to give me. I have found myself consulting the website several times a week lately, to understand symbols from new dreams that I am having and seeing what gems are there for me.

However, sometimes we may not think there is a need to analyze our dreams. If our dream seems pretty straightforward, we can assume that there is no way to misinterpret it's meaning, but on occasion, our dream may not be telling us what we think it is telling us.

Recently, I had a session with some former clients of mine and their new puppy. Losing their previous dog was incredibly hard on them and I think they feared their hearts would stay broken forever, but when this new puppy entered their lives, he showed them that it was OK to smile again.

The puppy, while he appeared to just be goofy, mischievous and full of life, carried some deep sadness inside him and a feeling of responsibility and guilt I couldn't quite put my finger on. They told me he had been the only survivor of a litter of twelve puppies and then it all started to make sense. He felt guilty that all of his siblings had passed away, and that he had been the only one to survive. He carried a burden that he should have or could have done more to try to keep the rest of the litter alive.

I worked with him, to try to help him release those feelings of responsibility and guilt. I talked to him about the fact that there was a reason that he survived, that he must have very important work to do here and reminded him that life here is meant to be enjoyed.

Even though I could feel a lightness come back to the puppy, I could sense that his mom was still feeling a heaviness in her own heart. I asked her what was going on, as I was picking up worry and concern from her but I didn't understand why. She told me that several times, since they adopted him, she had vivid dreams of ME holding him. She said in the dreams, he seemed very content to be with me and she worried it was a sign that *I* was supposed to be the one who adopted him, not she and her husband. She admitted that she felt a little bit of guilt that maybe they had adopted a puppy who was meant for me.

While I could understand how she had interpreted the dream that way, I also knew in my heart that what the dream meant was that he wanted to have a session with me, to help him heal the sadness he carried in his heart. I knew he wasn't supposed to be MY dog, but instead my client. I believed someone was telling her, in her dream, that it would help him to see me, but she had misinterpreted the dream.

As I explained to her what my interpretation of her dream was, and how I sensed that someone wanted her to bring this little guy to see me, so he could release that sadness now, and live a life free of that pain . . . I could feel a lightness come back to her. She let go of the worry she had been holding for the last few months and embraced the idea that he really was supposed to be with she and her husband.

I felt bad that she had carried that worry around for so many months but I also trust that everything happens for a reason and I knew the important thing was that they had come to see me. Not only had we been able to help their new puppy, but we had also been able to put that worry to rest for her.

Our dreams occur *for* us, to give us insights and guidance, to help us heal the past and take the right steps in the present. I really believe they are a gift. I hope you will allow your dreams to guide you as well.

Communicating with my mom

A few weeks ago, my dad asked me to come over to the house and look through my mom's clothes. He wanted to see if there was anything of hers I wanted before he began donating anything. Given that it has only been four months since my mom passed away, I wasn't sure who I was more worried about . . . me or my dad. I knew it was going to be potentially overwhelming for both of us.

Much to my surprise and relief, it ended up being a very pleasant experience. First of all, we only went through one of her closets and one dresser. When I realized my dad was going to take his time with this, I felt so much calmer. It was a relief that we didn't go through everything, especially since my mom has three closets, plus my old childhood bedroom that was basically turned into a walk-in closet. (To say my mom loved clothes and loved to shop is a giant understatement). I felt good knowing this wasn't "it" - we weren't going to be closing this chapter for a while. Secondly, we talked a lot, which I don't always get to do with my dad. We shared stories about my mom, laughed a bit, and talked a lot about her wonderful sense of style. It was a relaxing and enjoyable evening and it felt good to have a few things of my mom's to remember her by.

The next night, I went over to my friend Sue's house to see she and her puppies (my god children), Mingus and Nina. They are seven months old now and growing non-stop. They are absolutely darling. So full of energy and developing their own distinct personalities. Mingus goes back and forth between being sweet and silly and then being stubborn. We joked that he is taking after Sue's boyfriend Steve. Nina, on the other hand is often more serious, more contemplative, which is more like Sue. They both go back and forth between being totally wild and crazy and then peaceful and angelic. Typical puppies I suppose. :-)

While we were in the backyard playing with the puppies, I told Sue about my experience the night before. She was equally glad that it ended up being a positive experience, as she knew I was worried about whether or not it would be too overwhelming for my dad and I. Later in the evening, when we were having dinner, she and I were talking about how I keep hearing "In the air tonight" and how I know it's my mom letting me know she is around. All of the sudden, I thought "Wow, that's really odd that I didn't hear the song when I left my dad's house that night." I mentioned it to Sue and she agreed that it seemed strange that, of all times, my mom wouldn't let me know she was around when we had been going through her clothes. I joked with Sue that I hoped it wasn't a sign she was upset over the items I chose to take home.

That night, when I was leaving Sue's house, I had made a U-turn in front of her house, and as I reached up to wave goodbye to Sue, with the other hand, I hit a button on the radio and boom - there is was - the first couple notes of 'In the air tonight." I had a grin on my face a mile wide as I drove down the street. I thanked my mom for checking in and letting me know she had heard me.

The next weekend, I was heading over to my dad's house again, this time for a block party on their street. My family has lived in that house for over forty years and several of the families that we grew up with still live there as well. All three of us kids made a point of going to the block party this year so that my dad wouldn't be alone. We knew it could potentially bring up a lot of memories of mom and we wanted to be there to support him. As I pulled into the development, I was thinking about the fact that I haven't seen most of these neighbors since my mom's funeral and wondered if it would be awkward. And then, as if on cue, "In the Air Tonight" came on the radio. I said out loud, "Oh good mom, I am glad you are going to be at the block party as well."

It felt good to know she was there and it made it easy to talk about her in casual conversation . . . like when my dad said, "We don't really need a table cloth do we?" and I said, "You know what mom would say." He just smiled and pulled the table cloth back out out of the drawer. Even though she isn't still physically here, it only seemed right to still follow her etiquette rules. :-)

A Little Communication Can Go A Long Way

Last Saturday night, I got home after being out for the evening. I decided to check email before I went to bed and I found an email from my friend Judy. We consider each other good friends, as we have known each other for probably 11 years, although we have never met in person.

We first connected when she and her husband adopted a german shepherd puppy named Angus from a rescue organization. Angus was having some issues but they weren't getting any support from their rescue group, so they decided to try another german shepherd rescue group. I happened to be volunteering for a group here at the time and worked the "hotline" (picking up messages from our main number and returning people's calls). We hit it off immediately and I became friends with Judy and her husband, and of course, developed a connection with Angus too. Over the last 11 years, we've stayed in touch, sometimes more than others, but always knowing we'll be there for each other if one of us needs something.

So back to the email . . . she said she was very concerned about Angus, because he hadn't been wanting to eat for the last week or so. She asked if I could do something to help them. It was late and I was tired, so I knew it was best to do an official session with him in the morning after I got some rest, but I decided to at least check in with Angus before I went to sleep.

When I connected to him I felt some pain in my lower right jaw that felt like a tooth ache. I made a mental note to mention that to Judy the next day and then focused on telling him what was going on. I explained that his mom had contacted me and that she was very worried about the fact that he hadn't been wanting to eat, fearful that it was something serious. I told him that I was going to check back in with him in the morning for a 2 way conversation, but wanted to give him a heads up that I was going to do that and let him know his mom wanted to know what was going on with him.

The next morning, when I got on the computer there was an email from Judy waiting for me. She said she was sure that I must have already communicated with Angus because when she got up in the middle of the night to use the restroom, Angus followed her in there and then kept pushing his face into hers. At first she was slightly annoyed but Angus wouldn't let up. Eventually, she looked more closely at his mouth and noticed some puss on his gums. Upon closer inspection, she realized his tooth was infected.

After reading the email, I immediately called her and we compared notes. Sure enough, the tooth that looked infected was in the lower right part of his mouth, where I had felt some discomfort. She asked what time I communicated with him and I told her it was around midnight. She laughed and said, "Well that makes sense, I think it was about 1am when I got up to use the restroom." We laughed over the idea that Angus must have decided he could handle the communication with his mom and didn't need to wait until the next day when I connected with him again.

After thinking about it, Judy realized that Angus had been "getting in her face" a lot lately but she didn't put it together until now. He had probably been trying to show her his tooth, but she didn't get "the message" he was trying to deliver . . . that is until the night before when he was even more insistent than he had previously been.

It reminded me that animals really do try to communicate on their own. Sure, it's great that there are animal communicators out there to assist in delivering messages, but I think they would probably prefer to be able to talk to their guardians themselves. If only we could "hear" them better! :-)

Understanding things from their perspective

I have a friend whose dog developed an aural hematoma on his ear (a hematoma occurs when blood collects between the skin and the cartilage of the ear flap). They have had to drain it a couple of times and until it completely heals, his poor dog has been forced to wear a cone (e-collar) around his neck.

Recently my friend told me he had been teasing his dog about how funny he looked and how uncoordinated he was, trying to maneuver around the house with the cone on. He probably wasn't really teasing his dog. I think he told me that because he knew he'd get a rise out of me. (All my friends know that I don't believe in ever teasing animals or saying unkind things to them). We have the kind of relationship where we kid around a lot and give each other a bad time, so this was more playful banter than serious conversation.

I suggested that he try the cone on and wear it around the house for a while, and see he how HE liked it. :-) I thought he might develop some more empathy for his dog, if he knew exactly what his dog was experiencing with that awful thing around his neck. I jokingly told him I thought it was important for him to know how a cone affects how things sound, how challenging it is to do just about everything, things as simple as walking and eating, and suggested he not just try the cone on, but wear it for a whole day.

He emailed me a week later and told me he had worn the cone (although he didn't say for how long) and had been properly educated about what an unpleasant experience it is. He vowed to never tease his dog about the cone again. I told him I wouldn't believe he had worn the cone unless I saw it for myself. That wasn't really true, but I thought it would be funny to see if I could get him to wear the cone in front of me.

Last weekend, a mutual friend of ours had us over for dinner. I suggested he bring the cone and wear it during the evening. Amazingly, he did bring the cone with him, although understandably, he was hesitant to put it on at first. After dinner, he was a good sport though (after much goading) and put the cone on. He even let us take pictures. We were all laughing so hard, I am surprised any of the pictures turned out.

I didn't feel too bad about giving him such a bad time because I personally have worn a cone before. I did it because I wanted to understand why it scared Lucky so much. After that experience, I got it and from them on, I went out of my way to avoid making Lucky wear the cone. When she had hot spots on her hips, I put boxer shorts on her to keep her from licking the hot spots. I figured wearing boxers was a far better alternative to the cone and she definitely seemed happier.

For as silly as we all were being, I do think it is very important to understand things from our animal's perspective. I know they appreciate it when we put forth a little extra energy to see things through their eyes.

In The Air Tonight

When I was growing up, my parents disliked most of the music my siblings and I listened to. They were constantly telling us to "turn that noise down" and I remember my dad being especially critical of our music because they "sang the same line over and over again" and "obviously lacked creativity". :-)

So, it was particularly noteworthy, in 1981, when my mom decided she loved one of the songs we were listening to. It was "In The Air Tonight" by Phil Collins. She liked the song so much, she would even let me put my album on her stereo downstairs, instead of the stereo in my bedroom. Us kids viewed it as a major breakthrough, a sign that we finally had something in common with at least one of our parents. :-)

When we were planning my mom's funeral a few months ago, we decided to put together a slide show of pictures of my mom's life to show during the service. There was no question in anyone's mind, we were going to play "In The Air Tonight" along with the pictures. No one even suggested an alternate song. We all just knew that was the right song to play.

Since my mom's funeral, I have heard that song almost every week, on at least seven or eight different radio stations and it's impossible for me to believe anything other than it's my mom letting me know she is still around.

The first time I heard it, it was a week or so after the funeral. The family had gathered together at my dad's house to celebrate mother's day and it was definitely not an easy day. I felt her absence so intensely. As I was driving towards the freeway on my way home, the song came on. I got goose bumps up my arms and teared up as I thought about my mom and how much she loved that song. I wondered if my mom was letting me know she was around but I wasn't ready to believe it yet.

The next week, I was driving up 280, on my way to an appointment, and the song came on again. At almost the same moment I realized it was that song again, I also realized I was driving past the exit you would take to go to the cemetery where my mother's remains reside. It made me tear up and I thought for sure, she must be letting me know she was around. A couple weeks later, when I was driving the other direction on 280, the song came on again, in almost the exact same spot, when I was about the pass the exit to the cemetery.

Almost every week, I hear the song, which I find odd, because it's not like it is a new song that you would expect to be overplayed on the radio. It is a thirty year old song - and yet, I keep hearing it again and again - and each time, it makes me smile.

The cool thing is, I am not the only one who is hearing it. I have had friends, who were at my mom's service, call and email me to tell me that they heard "the song from the slideshow" on the radio and that it made them think of my mom.

And on the subject of "signs from the other side" . . . a few weeks ago, it was Lucky's birthday, so I took the afternoon off and went to our favorite beach. It was what we always did on her birthday, so it seemed only right that I would keep up the tradition. It was a beautiful day and I enjoyed walking along the beach, watching and listening to the ocean but I felt a slight amount of disappointment that I didn't see a single German Shepherd the whole time I was there. I wanted to know that she was still around me.

As I was getting ready to make my way back up the big staircase to where my car was parked (there are about 90 steps), I looked up to the top of the stairs, and took a deep breath to gear myself up for the walk up all those steps. Just then, at the top of the staircase, I saw a beautiful German Shepherd, excitedly waiting for her guardian to take her leash off, so she could make her way down to the beach. I just stood there, smiling . . . and waiting for her to make her way down the stairs . . . and feeling like it was Lucky's sign to me that she was still around.

When the Shepherd and her guardian got to the bottom of the stairs, I asked the guardian if I could pet his dog. He was very nice and kindly introduced us (her name was Lyka). She said hello and then wandered away when some smell caught her attention. Female shepherds tend to be a bit aloof, so I didn't expect her to visit with me too long, but when I told Lyka's guardian why I was at the beach that day (that it was Lucky's birthday and that I had lost her almost two years ago), Lyka came right over to me and was suddenly very friendly, even giving me a kiss when I leaned down to pet her. At that moment, there was no doubt in my mind that my sweet girl was giving me a sign that she was around me, that she was celebrating her birthday with me.

Losing someone is hard. Regardless of whether the someone is two legged or four legged, we feel the loss and their absence can make our hearts ache . . . and yet, I believe they are always around us, trying to comfort us and let us know they are still with us. I believe they want us to be happy, that they want us to live in the "now" and embrace the present for what it is.

I feel very blessed to know that my mom and Lucky are both making an effort to reach out to me and let me know they are still a part of my life, even if they aren't still physically here. I know they aren't the only ones . . . and if you have lost someone, I bet they are trying to give you signs as well. Open your heart and let the signs come in!

ps - I wrote this blog on 7/24. On 7/25, I got into the car to drive to an appointment and guess what song came on??? Yep - "In The Air Tonight"!! I think my mom was letting me know she enjoyed my blog!!!

Scientific Studies on Reiki

One of my friends sent me some interesting articles this weekend on Reiki and the effort that is being made to scientifically prove that Reiki actually works. While I personally haven't needed any "proof" other than what I have witnessed myself, I know there are a great many people who DO need that proof, so in many ways, this is a positive sign. I was going to cut and paste a few examples, but this whole article was so interesting, I decided to include the whole thing. If you know someone who isn't sure they "buy into this whole energy thing" maybe they would be interested in seeing some of the data that is being collected.

The article references a book called "Hands of Life" by Julie Motz. One of my clients loaned me her copy of the book and it was a fascinating read. Julie has worked in hospitals doing energy work before, during and after transplant surgeries, working with breast cancer patients, etc. She has had some incredible experiences and has bravely gone with energy where most others have been afraid to go, straight into the medical community. If you were interested in learning more about energy and the ways our bodies respond to it, I highly recommend the book.

- Scientific Studies On Reiki

(Excerpt from The Reiki Sourcebook by Bronwen and Frans Stiene)

Usui Mikao is quoted saying in the Reiki Ryôhô Hikkei that the mind and body are one. Recent studies in the world of science are beginning to finally comprehend that statement. Brainwaves and body pulses and their role in stimulating healing can all be measured today allowing the concept of Reiki, as spiritual energy, to be more widely understood by the medical community. The growth of the system of Reiki is benefited by this community awareness and acceptance.

The introduction of Therapeutic Touch by Dolores Krieger into nursing in the 1970s has increased interest in other energetic systems such as Reiki. This in turn has boosted the amount of research that has recently been undertaken using Reiki and other forms of energetic work.

The system of Reiki is also being accepted into hospitals across the world. Patients can often either bring their Reiki practitioner with them or Reiki is made available to them.

The article ‘The first Reiki Practitioner in our O.R.’ by Jeanette Sawyer in 1988 in the AORN Journal describes the steps that were taken to allow a Reiki practitioner into the theatre at the request of a patient during a laparoscopy.

Also in 1988, patients were given the opportunity to experience a 15 minute pre- and post- surgery Reiki treatment. More than 870 patients took part and as a result there was less use of pain medication, shorter stays in hospital and increased patient satisfaction. This was discussed in the article, ‘Using Reiki to Support Surgical patients’ by Patricia and Kristin Aladydy in the Journal of Nursing Care Quality.

Heart surgeon, Dr Mehmet Oz, has worked with Julie Motz who used Reiki on his patients. These patients had received heart transplants and had experienced open-heart surgery. She treated 11 patients in total and none of them had the usual post-operative depression. The bypass patients had no post-operative pain or leg weakness and the transplant patients experienced no organ rejection. Julie Motz has written about this experience in her book, ‘Hands of Life’.

Listed below are a number of trials tested on Reiki. For more research details there are some Reiki books with relevant research material, or personal observations, that have been written by both doctors and nurses. ‘Spiritual Healing’ by Daniel J. Benor has listed a number of Reiki trials as well as some very interesting trials on distant healing and healing through touch in general.

There are many aspects of Reiki that are being researched today. Some to see if Reiki speeds up healing, others to see if, how and whom it relaxes, to measure biomagnetic fields and to verify the concept of distant healing.

Here is a well-known trial completed using Reiki to examine its effect on human blood levels.

Human Hemoglobin Levels and Reiki
Reiki Healing: a Physiologic Perspective
Wetzel, Wendy (1989).
Published in Journal of Holistic Nursing 7(1), 47-54.

Purpose: The purpose of this study is to examine the effects of Reiki on human hemoglobin and hematocrit levels.

Procedure: The hemoglobin and hematocrit levels of 48 adults participating in a Level 1 course were measured. Demographics and motivation were also examined. An untreated control group was used to document the changes in hemoglobin and hematocrit under normal circumstances.

Findings: Using a t-test there was a statistically significant change between the pre- and post-course hemoglobin and hematocrit levels of the participants at the p > 0.01 level. 28 % experiencing an increase and the remainder experiencing a decrease. There was no change for the untreated control group within an identical time frame.

Conclusions: That Reiki has a measurable physiologic effect. The data supports the premise that energy can be transferred between individuals for the purposes of healing, balancing, and increasing wellness. Some individuals found that their blood levels went up while others went down which is consistent with the concept that Reiki is balancing for each individual.

This trial tests Reiki on patients with chronic illnesses using electrodermal screening.

The Efficacy of Reiki Hands on Healing: Improvements in Adrenal, Spleen and Nervous Function as Quantified by Electro-Dermal Screening
Betty Hartwell and Barbara Brewitt
Published in Alternative Therapies Magazine, July 1997, Vol. 3, No. 4, p. 89

Purpose: The purpose of this study is to evaluate the therapeutic effects of Reiki treatments on chronic illnesses using electrodermal screening.

Procedure: This study was carried out on five patients with life-threatening and chronic illnesses: lupus, fibromyalgia, thyroid goiter, and multiple sclerosis. Eleven one-hour Reiki treatments using 4 different Level 2 practitioners and one Reiki Master were performed over a ten-week period. These Reiki practitioners systematically placed their hands over the same body positions including the neurovascular regions on the cranium, neurolymphatic points on the trunk and minor chakra points on the limbs. No new conventional or alternative medical treatments were given during this period. Initially, three consecutive treatments were given and then one treatment per week for eight weeks.

Findings: The patients were tested three times during the study. 1.Before the study commenced. 2.After their third treatment. 3.After their tenth treatment.
Each individual was measured for skin electrical resistance at three acupuncture points on hands and feet. At the cervical/thoracic point the measurements went from 25% below normal to the normal range. The adrenal measurements went from 8.3% below normal to normal - some time between the middle and last measurements. The spleen measurements went from 7.8% below normal to normal after only three sessions. All the patients reported increased relaxation after Reiki treatments, a reduction in pain and an increase in mobility.

These trials are concerned with the effect of Reiki on pain relief and other symptoms.

Pain, Anxiety and Depression in Chronically Ill Patients with Reiki Healing
Linda J. Dressen and Sangeeta Singg
Published in Subtle Energies and Energy Medicine Journal, Vol. 9, No. 1: 1998

Purpose: To measure the results of Reiki and its effect on pain, anxiety, and depression in chronically ill patients.

Procedure: 120 Patients who had been in pain for at least 1 year were trailed. Their complaints included: headaches, heart disease, cancer, arthritis, peptic ulcer, asthma, hypertension and HIV. Four different styles of treatment were performed on 3 groups of 20 people. The 4 styles of treatment were: Reiki, Progressive Muscle Relaxation, no treatment and false-Reiki. Each of the groups received 10 thirty-minute treatments, twice a week over 5 weeks. Patients were examined before and after the series of treatments. Reiki patients were examined 3 months after completion.

Findings: Reiki proved significantly superior (p<.0001-.04) to other treatments on 10 out of 12 variables.

At the 3 month check up these changes were consistent and there were highly significant reductions in Total Pain Rating Index (p<.0006) and in sensory (p<.0003) and Affective (p<.02) Qualities of Pain.

Conclusion: Significant effects of Reiki on anxiety, pain and depression are shown here. Some possible variables were not controlled.

Using Reiki to Manage Pain: a Preliminary Report
alta.karino@cancerboard.ab.ca
Cross Cancer Institute, Edmonton, USA
Published in Cancer Prev Control 1997;1(2):108-13

Purpose: To explore the usefulness of Reiki as an alternative to opioid therapy in the management of pain. This was a pilot study.

Procedure: 20 volunteers experienced pain at 55 sites for a variety of reasons, including cancer. A Level 2 practitioner provided all Reiki treatments. Pain was measured using both a visual analogue scale (VAS) and a Likert scale immediately before and after each Reiki treatment.

Findings: Both the instruments showed a highly significant (p < 0.0001) reduction in pain following the Reiki treatments.

This trial is interested in finding out if it is possible to gauge the experience of a Reiki treatment using normal trialing procedures.

Experience of a Reiki Session
Engebretson J, Wardell DW
University of Texas Health Science Center in Houston, USA
Published in Alternative Therapies in Health and Medicine. 8: 48-53, 2002

Purpose:To explore the experiences of Reiki recipients so as to contribute to understanding the popularity of touch therapies and possibly clarify variables for future studies.

Procedure: All Reiki treatments were 30 minutes long and performed in a sound proof windowless room by one Reiki Master. There were audio taped interviews immediately after the treatment in a quiet room adjoining the treatment room. The recipients were generally healthy volunteers who had not experienced Reiki previously.

Findings: The recipients described a conscious state of awareness during the treatment. At the same time, paradoxically, they experienced sensate and symbolic phenomena.

Conclusions: Conscious awareness and paradoxical experiences that occur in ritual healing vary according to the holistic nature and individual variation of the healing experience. These findings suggest that many linear models used in researching touch therapies are not complex enough to capture the experience of the recipients.

This particular trial is not specifically about Reiki but deals with the effectiveness of distant healing which is relevant to Reiki practitioners.

A Randomized Double-Blind Study of the Effect of Distant Healing in a Population with Advanced Aids
Fred Sicher, Elizabeth Targ, Dan Moore II, and Helene.S. Smith
Published in the Western Journal of Medicine, December 1998, Vol. 169, pp. 356-363.

Purpose: To find the effect of distance healing (DH) on AIDS patients during a six-month double-blind study.

Procedure: Forty patients with advanced AIDS were randomly divided into two groups. Half the patients received DH in addition to their usual medical care. They were not told they were being given DH. 40 healers from various locations throughout the U.S. with an average of 17 years of experience were used. The healers practiced a variety of healing methods including Christian, Jewish, Buddhist, Native American, shamanism, meditative, and bioenergetics. Each of the treated subjects received DH for one hour a day for six days from each of a total of ten different healers, and this was performed over a period of ten weeks.

Findings: After six months, treated patients had significantly fewer outpatient visits and hospitalizations, less severe illnesses, fewer new illnesses, and improved mood.


Further Research
This page is an excerpt from The Reiki Sourcebook.

Raising money for Lupus

A few weeks ago, my brother, his partner, my sister, my dad, Casey, Duffy and I all participated in a 5K Walk/Run to raise money for the Lupus Foundation. It ended up being a very fun event and it felt good to be doing something to honor my mom. It was interesting to me though that my mom had Lupus for 54 years and yet, this was the first time we had done something as a family to raise money for Lupus. I guess the important thing is that we finally did something, even if it was after she was already gone.

Seven hundred and twenty seven people participated in the 5K and their preliminary count showed the event raised $69,000, a 40% increase over what they had raised last year at this event. While looking at their website, I saw that a drug had just recently been approved for Lupus patients. It is the first approved Lupus drug in 50 years (and they estimate that it would cost a person about $30K/year to be on the drug). I found that a bit disconcerting.

While I was happy to do something to help the cause, and happy to honor my mom, I did still have a small inner conflict . . . the same inner conflict I feel when I am at the grocery store, and the checkout clerk asks you if you want to donate to the cause of the month (this month it is Prostate cancer). It's not that I am against raising money to find cures for diseases, it has more to do with my belief that physical illnesses are rooted in emotional/mental beliefs. I feel sad sometimes that people suffer so much without understanding how truly empowered they are to improve their physical health.

Many years ago, I was introduced to a book by Louise Hay called "Heal Your Body." In the book, she lists out hundreds of physical ailments, what the potential emotional root cause could be and a positive affirmation to help you change the belief you hold. Admittedly, I was not opened to the book when I first saw it, because I didn't want to admit that my own thoughts and emotions could be causing the physical problems I was having. It felt too much like "it's my fault" and the last thing I wanted to feel was "at fault" . . . but over time, (and after being introduced to the book two more times) I finally began to realize how much truth there was in the book and how empowered I truly was to take charge of my health.

I have been pleasantly surprised to discover that the good majority of my human clients have the book too. I enjoy being able to refer to the book and gain insights from it when a client and I are working through some physical pain or illness they are dealing with. Some things can be resolved pretty quickly and some take a lot longer, especially if they are rooted in some really old well ingrained beliefs, but bottom line, I have seen evidence again and again that we really can heal our bodies.

An example of one that I can resolve pretty quickly. . . I used to get a stiff neck all the time and now I barely get them at all, or if I do, I can clear it up in a matter of hours. I'll never forget the first time I looked up "stiff neck" in Louise's book. It said, "Unbending bullheadedness." I laughed my head off because I couldn't deny the truth. Whenever I would get stuck in one of those "I'm right - No, I'm right" push/pull tug of wars, I would instantly get a stiff neck. Now, as soon as I notice what is happening, I can open my mind more to see the other person's perspective, stop being so set on my opinion . . . and the neck pain goes away.

One that I have been working on for years is my hypothyroidism. I was diagnosed when I was in 7th grade, so it's definitely rooted in some old well ingrained beliefs. The emotional root cause is, "giving up, feeling hopelessly stifled" which very accurately describes how I felt as a child and how I feel, on occasion, even now. I have managed to "heal" my thyroid enough that the doctors have twice lowered the level of medication I need to take every day. I hope to continue to heal those old beliefs and thought patterns, so that the dosage can continue to be lowered.

At any rate, I do wish more people realized there was a connection between what they think and believe and feel . . . and how it manifests itself as dis-ease in the body. We have so much more power over our experiences in life than most of us realize. We have the ability to heal the dis-ease that we experience, if we can allow ourselves to look more closely at our deeply held beliefs and decide to change them.

My family is already signed up for the next 5K Walk/Run to raise money for Lupus. It is in October and I will happily participate, to honor my mother . . . and I will also continue to hope that more people will begin to feel empowered to heal their bodies and their lives.

Cricket

My next door neighbors had to go out of town this past week because of a death in their family. They asked me if I could look in on their almost 15 year old dog Cricket for a few days. They just wanted me to feed him and let him out a couple times a day to go potty, but I told them that I would just bring him to my house, if that was ok with them. They were not expecting that but were pleased none-the-less that Cricket would get to have a 'vacation' while they were out of town.

I brought him over on Wednesday night and since he knows me and since we were just next door, I figured he would settle in quickly, but I was wrong about that. For the first two hours, he paced around the entire house, sniffing every inch of carpet, every nook and cranny, around and around and around he went. I tried distracting him with the dog treats . . . I managed to get him to lay down for a minute or two while I gave him a couple treats but as soon as the treats were gone, he was back to pacing around the house. Nothing I said to him seemed to help, so I decided to just let him do what he needed to do and knew that eventually he would tire himself out.

Having Cricket here was such a different experience for me than living with Lucky. For one, Lucky was very independent and "did her own thing" most of the time. By contrast, Cricket is a little on the needy side. He did not like to be away from me and followed me everywhere I went, including the bathroom. If I sat still for a while, he would finally lay down and relax but the second I moved, he would be up again, not wanting to miss out on a single thing that I did.

If the phone rang, he had to follow me into the kitchen to answer the phone. If I needed to go to another room for a minute, I would try to explain to him what I was doing and that I would be right back, but it didn't seem to make a difference. If I needed to get something from my office upstairs, he followed me up the stairs and then back down the stairs. When I did laundry, he was back and forth to the laundry room with me, observing as I put things in the dryer, or folded the dry clothes. It was almost comical. I never took a single step for three days without him at my heels.

I didn't sleep well the nights he was here, in part because he snored more than any dog I have ever known. I kept waking up in the middle of the night, trying to identify the strange sound I was hearing, then realizing it was Cricket "sawing logs" on his dog bed on the floor, I would roll over and try to go back to sleep . . . until a sound he was making woke me again. If I got up in the middle of the night to go the bathroom, Cricket was up, following me in there and trying to get me to pet him. I said to him several times, "Cricket, you are a sweetheart and I adore you, but you have got to give me a little space!" :-) But his desire for attention and companionship seemed to outweigh any desire I may have had for a little space.

Regardless of my lack of alone time while he was here, I couldn't help being entertained by him and I also found myself in awe that a big dog like Cricket (he's a lab/spaniel mix) could be so healthy and so mobile at his age. For those of us who have struggled through health challenges with our dogs as they grew older, you know what a gift it is to have an older dog who is doing as well as Cricket is. The only issue he has is a lack of hearing but even that didn't stop him from being able to track my every move. :-)

When his family returned, I brought him back home. He was thrilled to see them and they were grateful that he was well taken care of while they were away. I was glad I was able to help them in some small way, when they were going through such a difficult time. I'll confess, I did sleep really well that night and did enjoy going to the bathroom by myself. :-) But I also know that if they needed my help again, I'd take care of him again in a heartbeat.

My dad's birthday

My father had a birthday this week and even though we had planned to get together as a family to celebrate over the weekend, I hated the idea of my dad being alone on his actual birthday, so I invited him to come over for a home cooked meal on his official birthday. I invited Duffy and Casey, my parents dogs, to join us as well, which seemed to make all three of them very happy.

Before they arrived, I was filled with such a mixture of emotions, I could barely keep up with all the thoughts running through my head and heart. I was excited about them coming over, sad that it would be the first time I had ever celebrated my dad's birthday without my mom here and I knew that from now on, nothing would ever be the same. I worried that I cooked more to my mom's tastes than my dad's (an over-use of garlic), I felt happy and sad as I pulled out Lucky's water bowl and some of her toys for the boys to enjoy, and worried a bit about what my dad and I would talk about since I am happiest when I can talk about my feelings and my dad is happiest when he can avoid any discussion at all of feelings.

When they got here, my dad went straight to the restroom, and I laughed to myself as I was reminded that we were both cursed with the same tiny bladder. Casey quickly made himself at home, walking on the back of the couch, up the arm rest and over to the over-sized chair next to it, wagging his tail the whole time. Duffy was not as comfortable and started to panic that he couldn't find my dad. He ran in and out of every room in a frenzy and could barely breath until he saw my dad emerge from the bathroom.

Once we all settled down on the couch for some appetizers, conversation flowed easily. Much to my surprise, my dad even talked a little bit about his feelings, without my having to pry it out of him. Well, I did start with the question, "How are you doing, dad?" and he replied, "I'm doing fine." So after a pause, I followed up with, "How are you REALLY doing?" and then he did give me a more honest answer. Casey was happy to pick up where Lucky left off in the "unstuffing process" of one of the toys and Duffy occasionally reminded my dad that he too would like to try the appetizer.

We talked about the dinner he had a couple nights earlier with my brother and sister and he mentioned they had gone to Casa Lupe, a restaurant we have gone to as a family since I was a little girl. I was almost relieved I wasn't with them that night because I didn't know if I would be able to handle going to a restaurant that reminded me so much of mom. He asked if I had been there since they expanded and I said, "Yes, I put a picture of mom and I at Casa Lupe after the remodel in my blog . . . have you seen my blog recently?" and he said, "I've never read your blog."

I flinched inside, and I wondered if the day would ever come when I didn't still want my father's approval. My father must have noticed the flinch because he offered some additional explanation . . . that he doesn't spend much time on the internet and that he isn't into Facebook and that kind of stuff. For as much as I wanted to point out there there is a big difference between showing some interest in his daughter's work and Facebook, I knew that was not what was important at that moment, so instead I grabbed my laptop, pulled up my blog and showed him the pictures of mom that I had included in my recent posts. He seemed to enjoy the pictures and conversation began to flow again.

When it was time to eat, my dad assured me that he liked a lot of garlic, so dinner went well. The boys sat at my dad's feet, hoping that he might drop something . . . occasionally reminding him that they were still there, waiting patiently for a taste of his meal. I realized how much I missed sharing food with the dog laying at my feet so I grabbed some noodles without sauce on them to share with the boys and they were thrilled. When it was time for dessert, the boys didn't chime in, so I had to sing "Happy Birthday" all by myself :-) but I managed to do alright.

After dessert, dad and I continued to sit at the table, while guzzling glass after glass of water (did I mention I overdid it with the garlic?) and talked while the boys each found a nice spot on the couch to snuggle in for a nap. My dad and I found all sorts of things to talk about, so much so that we lost track of time. Everyone seemed happy and content, so it appeared that all my pre-dinner mental swirling may not have been necessary.

At any rate, the next morning, when I got up and saw dog toys on the floor and the couch, it made me smile in a way that told me I am more ready to get another dog than I had thought. As I thought more about the previous night, I was reminded of the importance of balance . . . my dad and I found some middle ground because I softened on my desire to talk about feelings the whole time and he was less stoic than he usually is. I realized that even though things will never be the same now that my mom is gone, it doesn't mean they can't be pleasant. They will certainly be different but different doesn't have to be bad. And finally, I reminded myself that what is really important is that *I* believe in what I am doing and as long as I believe in myself, that will be enough.

Honoring My Mom

The last few weeks have been so overwhelming, it's almost hard to wrap my mind around everything that has happened. To think that three weeks ago today, I was on my way to the hospital to see my mom . . . less than a week later, she was gone . . . a week after that we were holding a funeral service for her and now . . . a week after that, it's Mother's day.

In moments, I feel acceptance of her passing, in other moments, it doesn't seem real, and in other moments, especially on a day like today, I feel her absence deeply. I suppose it will be like that for a while.

Last Saturday, the funeral mass and reception for my mother ended up being a more beautiful and more enjoyable experience than I could have imagined. The church was filled with a couple hundred people who deeply loved my mother. For an empathic person such as myself, funerals can be extremely difficult, since I literally feel what everyone else is feeling, on top of my own feelings, but much to my surprise, all I felt was the incredible outpouring of love and appreciation for my mom. It made it much easier for a "sensitive" like me.

Since my mom was someone who loved to laugh and loved to party, we wanted her service to be upbeat and full of laughter . . . and it ended up being that and more. I know my mom was pleased to see all of her favorite people gathered together in one place, sharing some laughs and enjoying each others company. I had moments of almost feeling guilty that I was enjoying myself so much, as I visited with relatives, old family friends and neighbors, and joined in the fun of sharing stories about my mom that had everyone chuckling. I kept trying to remind myself that my mom would want us to be enjoying ourselves, and that she would have been disappointed if we sat around crying the whole time.

I have been wondering how my mom will let me know that she is around. The day after her service, I went to lay down on my bed in the middle of the afternoon and heard the strangest sound. It sounded like someone was walking between the ceiling and the floor of the upstairs. Since it was keeping me from napping, I got up to investigate. After about 15 minutes, I was coming up with nothing and was about to give up but something made me open the door to the side yard and much to my surprise, I saw a swarm of bees buzzing around the door. I realized the noise I was hearing was bees actually getting into the wall and cruising around between the first and second floor.

At first, I groaned "Not again" since I just had a bee hive removed from the upstairs wall last fall, but I didn't have the energy to worry about it right then, so I decided I'd just deal with it in the morning and went to lay down in the family room. The next day, I left a message for the Bee Guy and spent the afternoon rescuing bees from inside the house because I kept forgetting about the swarm and leaving the back door opened.

I wondered why the bees came back and I giggled to myself when I remembered that when we found the hive last fall, the Bee Guy told me that they had been building the hive for about a year - and it had been exactly a year since Lucky had passed away. I joked at the time that maybe it was Lucky's way of letting me know she was around. So, since these bees arrived the day after my mom's funeral, I wondered if Lucky and my mom were playing a little joke on me.

Amazingly, before I got a call back from the Bee Guy, the bees disappeared . . . they were just gone and they haven't returned since. It seems they only stayed long enough for me to get the potential significance.

My mom was always known as "The Rose Lady" because of her incredible rose garden, so I told my family the other day that I'll know my mom has visited me if a rose bush suddenly springs up in my backyard. While the rose bush may be a bit far fetched, I am going to continue to look for signs that my mom is around.

And today was definitely a day that I wished for a sign that she was around. I wanted to feel close to her, but my emotions seemed to be getting in the way. I put on an album we used to listen to together when I was growing up, and while it helped some, it didn't help enough. It was a challenging day for sure. I never thought about how difficult Mother's Day is for people who have lost their mother. The one thing that kept ringing in my head today was how much my mom loved to laugh. My mom's brother (and my god father) gave me this picture last week. It was taken when my mom was visiting him in Japan and the picture warmed my heart because I can feel her joy when I look at this picture . . . and it made me think, maybe that's how I will feel close to my mom . . . whenever I can find a reason to laugh.

My mother

On Sunday, April 17th, I got a call from my dad, saying I needed to come to the hospital to see my mother, as her health had taken a turn for the worse.

On the drive to the hospital, I was hanging onto my optimism . . . after all, we had lived through health scares with my mom my entire life and every time, she managed to bounce back, even when the doctors didn't think it was possible, so I hoped that this time it would be no different.

The thing is, my mom had Lupus, a disease in which the body's immune system attacks its own cells. It cannot be cured, so Lupus patients go back and forth between flare ups and remissions, and during flare ups, my mom would be so fatigued, she could barely function, her joints and muscles would ache severely and when it got bad, various organs would start to shut down and she would be hospitalized.

When I was a little girl, her flare ups would scare the heck out of me and I spent a lot of my early life on edge, believing that any day, she could leave us . . . but I think over time, I began to think she was invincible because time and again, she would be gravely ill and then miraculously get better and go back to being her fun-loving self again.

When I walked into her room last Sunday, something told me that this time it was different. Tears welled up in my eyes as soon as I saw her and at first, I couldn't breath. My optimism began slipping away, as a reality I didn't want to face began to set in. This time, I feared she wasn't going to pull through and I felt so sad for her, and what was happening to her body. She kept saying she wanted her mother, and each time, I felt an ache deep in my heart. I knew it meant she knew that this time it was worse than any time before as well.

Over the years, our relationship was often strained. I think my mom and I probably spent too much time focusing on how we were different. sometimes in funny ways, like how she used to joke that she must have brought the wrong baby home from the hospital, since I didn't like to shop, or wear make up or change my hair style the way she did. Many of our disagreements and hurts over the years were centered on how we were different . . . but as I stood next to her bed, all I could think about was how much we were alike and how much I loved her.

It was a long week, as the family sat in her hospital room day and night, hoping and praying to see any sign of improvement, hoping the doctors would finally figure out how to reverse what was happening to her . . . and I found myself thinking about all the parts of me that came from my mom. It felt good to focus on who she was, and all the ways she had a positive impact on me and the person I have become.

I certainly got my love of animals from her. My mom loved all animals . . . and she loved them deeply. We always had dogs when we were growing up and she adopted stray cats as well. My dad was allergic to cats, so they weren't indoor cats, but she knitted beds for them and fed them and talked to them when she was outside tending to her garden. She supported every animal organization there was . . . even when my parents were having financial difficulty, my mom found a way to still support all her favorite animal organizations.

My love of gardening came from my mom as well . . . from her, I learned how therapeutic it could be to sit in the yard and pull weeds, and how much joy flowers could bring you, when you took the time to appreciate them.

My mom was also one of the friendliest people in the world. She could talk to anyone and had such an ease when it came to conversing with people. I know I learned to do that from her. She frequently struck up conversations with strangers, became friends with the check out clerks at Safeway and the sales people at her favorite clothing stores. Everywhere we went, people knew her and adored her.

Unfortunately, by Thursday, we were forced to accept the fact that there was nothing else the doctors could do for her. One by one, her organs were shutting down and this time, she wasn't going to be able to fight through it, the way she had so many times before. On Friday, April 22nd, my mother passed away. It was incredibly painful and yet it also felt like a huge honor to be there with her, as she left this world.

Amidst the grief, I find comfort in knowing that she is now at peace and free of pain. I smile when I think that she is now with her mother, who she had really been wanting to see, and that there was probably a long line of animal friends waiting to greet her when she arrived.

Healing for Humans

Even though almost half of my clients are human, I don't often write about them in my blog. I think it's because my human healing sessions tend to be deeply personal and I don't think my clients would feel very comfortable with me sharing too much about their sessions.

Still though, my human clients have great insights into their lives and their own healing journeys, they have amazing breakthroughs and tangible results, so I have been trying to find a way to write about the sessions with my human clients, without revealing too much, and at the same time, sharing enough that others can benefit.

I realized the other day that there was a theme running through many of my recent human sessions, and I decided that writing about the theme might be the right way to share some information.

This recent theme is around beliefs . . . the concept that whatever we believe, we manifest in our lives, and even though we may not like what is showing up in our lives, it is always tied to a belief we hold. It may not be a conscious belief, but it is a belief none the less. I have seen again and again that if we want to have a different result in life, we need to figure out what belief brought us the result we don't like and then determine what we want to believe instead.

For instance, if you keep having the experience of people taking advantage of your kindness, then there's a pretty good chance you hold a belief that people can and will take advantage of your kindness. Sometimes, when I bring this up with my clients, they feel like they are stuck with only two choices . . . continue to be nice and have people take advantage of them, or stop being kind to others and be someone they don't want to be. I refer to this as "black and white" thinking and when we only see things in black and white, we often feel like we have no where to go.

Part of the work I do with people is to help them see more options . . . assist them in moving away from "black and white" thinking, so they can see the possibilities. I help them understand what the underlying belief is that is creating unwanted experiences in their lives, help them release the belief if they don't think it serves them any longer and then help them form a new belief, one that will better serve them.

I frequently ask my clients, "What would you like to believe instead?" and this can be a difficult question to answer. I think part of the reason is that we are programmed to believe, on some level, that we can't have what we want or that we don't have any control over what comes into our lives. I work with my clients to help them see that they do deserve to have what they want, and help them feel empowered to make changes in their lives. I work with them to help them release that old programming, so that it is easier to answer the question, "What would you like to believe instead?"

In this case, my client eventually said, "I want to believe that people will appreciate my kindness, and be kind in return." With the assistance of the energy, we allowed the body to release the old belief and then embrace the new belief. Many people think it sounds too easy to work, but I have seen proof again and again that it really is that easy.

Through my work with human clients, we have identified and released beliefs such as, "You can't make money doing what you really love to do," "Men are weak and need to be taken care of" and "Other people's needs are more important than mine" and we replaced those old beliefs with new beliefs, that will help them manifest what they really would prefer to experience in life.

If you look at your own life, are you experiencing things that don't please you? Do you feel that people don't really listen to you? Maybe you are holding a belief that what you have to say isn't important. Do you find that your relationships are difficult and take a lot of energy out of you?" Maybe you are holding a belief that relationships aren't easy and require a lot of work. If so, I'll ask you . . . "What would you like to believe instead?"

Over the years, I have witnessed this enough to form a pretty strong opinion that what shows up in our lives is tied to the beliefs we hold, (often on an unconscious level). Our thoughts and beliefs are incredibly powerful, and yet, so are we. At any time, we can choose to believe something different . . . and then we can have a different experience.

The Dog and the Deer

Every once in a while, you come across something that is too good to not pass along, whether it's a story, a video, a photograph or a great quote. When something touches you that much, you can't help but want others to have the same positive experience . . . and this is one of those times.

Recently, a good friend of mine sent me a video she found on the internet. She and I share an intense love of animals, and have since we were in elementary school, so I had a feeling I was going to enjoy the video . . . but I have to say, out of all the animal videos I have seen, this is by far one of my most favorites.

Every time I even think about the video, it makes me smile. I am not sure why this one touched me so much. It could be because it is moving to see animals of different species have such an amazing bond with one another or it could be that it is just soul-touching to see such a beautiful friendship between two beings, one that is filled with sheer delights as well as harmony.

The video is of a deer and a dog who have an undeniable friendship. They chase each other and frolic in the grass and they lay together on the dog's bed, looking absolutely content to be sharing the space with one another. Their affection for one another is so evident, I don't think anyone could question the connection these two animals have with one another.

Here is a link to the video . . . I hope you enjoy it as much as I have.

http://www.dogwork.com/ddsff4/

click here