Animals are our teachers

Many times, the animals that come into our lives will show us what we need to work on in our human relationships.  It is as if they are giving us a safe place to work out an issue we need to address and if we can we can work out the issue with our animal, then we can begin to apply those learnings to the other people in our lives.

One of my clients has several cats who were testing the limits with her and in need of some boundaries.  They needed to be told what was ok and what wasn't ok, and they needed her to be consistent.  As I explained to the guardian what they cats needed in the way of boundaries, she shook her head and laughed a little under her breath.  I asked her what was going on and she said "Well, if setting boundaries was easy for me, I'd be doing it with everyone else in my life."  

As we continued to talk, she shared with me how difficult it was for her to set boundaries and how frustrated she felt that the people in her life took advantage of her.  She said she often felt like a doormat but she felt powerless to change the dynamic.

I encouraged her to try first with the cats because I sensed that was part of the their purpose in her life and I knew they would be patient and understanding as she developed this new skill. 

She was willing to try and I give her a tremendous amount of credit because it wasn't easy at first.  She would set a boundary with the cats and then that old tape would start playing in her head, telling her it wasn't ok for her to ask for what she wanted and if she set limits, she was somehow being unkind to others.  She hung in there though and kept at it.  Within a few weeks, the behaviors we were trying to change with the cats did begin to change, for the better.  She started to feel empowered and began embracing the idea that it truly was ok for her to say "this is not ok" to someone.  

Over the weeks that followed, she began trying to set boundaries with family members.  The old tape still attempted to play in her head, but she had a recent success to draw from and she knew that even though she set boundaries with her cats, they still loved her and respected her, so she stayed in a place of confidence.  Her relationships with her family members have started to improve.  

If you have a pet, take a look at what your challenges are with that pet and then ask yourself if you have that same problem with people in your life.   If so, your pet may be offering you an opportunity to develop a new skill, so that you can improve all the relationships in your life.  Animals enjoy being our teachers, they like helping us become better versions of ourselves, so don't be afraid to practice first with your animals.  They will be happy they were able to help you and you might be amazed at how other relationships in your life can become more fulfilling.

Communication Nuances

As an animal communicator, I relay information I get from an animal to their guardian, often with the goal of helping them solve behavioral issues or get to the bottom of medical mysteries. Animals give me information by actually sharing what they they feel, so that I feel what they feel in my own body, whether they are physical sensations or emotions.  From there, it is often up to their guardian and myself to interpret what I am picking up to make more sense of it.  

Sometimes, it is straight forward . . . I feel pain in my knee and the guardian might say "I noticed Rocco was limping a little bit on our walk yesterday."  Or I may feel a sensation of being overwhelmed by noise and feeling afraid that the noise was over my head and the guardian can piece it together by saying something like "Oh, we were having work done on our roof last week, and that is when Misty started acting so strangely." 

Sometimes, it isn't quite as straight forward and often it is because the animal doesn't know how to explain what is happening.  They can't tell me "I have this type of medical condition and this is the name of it" so we have to work at interpreting what I am getting and do a bit of our own detective work.  With one recent case, I was working with a rabbit who was losing his fur. My skin felt itchy when I was working on him but that was all he could give me.  I sensed that he was allergic to something but he couldn't tell me what it was.  His 'mom' and I did some brainstorming and she remembered that she had changed the type of hay in his hutch about the same time he had started losing his fur, so she decided to try cleaning out his hutch and going back to the old hay she had been using before.  After a short while, we didn't see any improvement in his fur loss, in fact, it seemed to be a little worse, so we went back to the drawing board.  We were looking for other things he could be allergic to and wondered if it was something he was eating.  Each of the new things that had been introduced about the time he started having problems was removed from his diet and still there wasn't any improvement.  

The next time I came to see him, my skin was itching even more.  I told his 'mom' that I felt like things were crawling on my skin this time and it gave us an idea . . . maybe he had skin mites. We did some research and found pictures of rabbits who had similar fur loss, caused by something called "Walking dandruff."  When treatment for "walking dandruff" was administered, he finally started to improve.  

I know that he was giving me all the information he could.  If he knew the word "mites" and what they were, I am sure he would have given it to me sooner.  All he knew was that his skin was itching so that is what he was showing me.  It was up to his guardian and I to interpret what he was showing me.   Similar to Misty, the dog that was so frightened by the work being done on the roof.  She told me what she knew . . . that there was noise over her head and that it was frightening her.  It was up to her guardian and I to figure out what it was from there, since I don't think Misty knows a lot about roofing contractors.  

And while the 'interpretation' part can take a while to sort out sometimes, the beautiful thing about animals is that they aren't upset with us for not figuring it out sooner.  They know we always do the best that we can.  After we finally figured out what was going on with my little bunny friend, I apologized to him for taking so long to get to the bottom of it.  I told him I was sorry we couldn't figure it out sooner and wished he didn't have to suffer for all those additional weeks with itchy skin.  What I picked up from him was that he knew we'd figure it out eventually and that he wasn't worried about it.  He didn't hold anything against us for not figuring it out sooner. 

I often talk to people who are beating themselves up for not being able to figure out what was wrong with their animal sooner but I know their animals don't blame them.  Animals don't want us to be hard on ourselves.  They do the best they can to communicate with us and then trust that we'll figure it out when the time is right.  

Just this week, I spoke with a woman whose dog had a cancerous tumor in his neck.  She knew something was wrong for many months, as he wasn't interested in eating and when he did eat, he would often throw up.  She told me that she kept saying to him "Please help me understand what is wrong so I can make it better" and each time, her dog would come and sit right in front of her with his head tilted up.  She thought he was just wanting to be petted and she would continue to say "I don't understand what you are telling me but if you can show me what's wrong, I will do everything I can to make it better." When the tumor was finally found, she realized that he had been doing just what she asked, in the best way that he knew how.  She kept asking him what was wrong and he kept showing her his neck.  He wasn't upset with her for not figuring it out sooner.  Animals seem to be more peaceful about that part of communication, trusting that eventually the pieces will fall into place, never holding it against us.

So, if you have ever beaten yourself up over not figuring out what was going on with your animal, I hope you will be kinder to yourself.  Animals understand that we do the best we can to interpret what they are showing us.  And even if we get it wrong, or miss the clues they are giving us, they love us just as much.   

When I 'talk' to animals, I don't hear full sentences.  I feel sensations and from there, I partner with their guardian to piece together what I am picking up with what they have noticed as well. The guardians play a very important role in helping me understand what their animal is communicating to me, so it is paramount that I communicate well with the guardians too. 

Alternative ways to treat cancer

I discovered last June that my thirteen year old German Shepherd, Lucky, had cancer.  I have been taking her to a holistic veterinarian for 11 years so I had long ago left the world of tests and biopsies.  The tumors appeared on her body and they were growing and my intuition told me they were cancerous.  That was all the confirmation I needed.  Well, most days I thought so. Many people questioned my decision to avoid getting tests run and I had a few moments of self doubt here and there, wondering if I was doing her a disservice by not getting tests to confirm what was going on.  Then other moments where I knew I couldn't drag her to another vet for tests because I had made a promise to her 11 years ago that we wouldn't do that anymore. 

I found that this issue of Lucky's health shook up my foundation many times, making me question my beliefs, to second guess myself, to wonder if I was misguided and then ultimately finding my way back to my beliefs again, maybe even more strongly than before.  

Shortly after I discovered the tumors, I spoke with my vet.  He reminded me that the only thing tests would do would be to give me the name of the type of cancer and that in the process of getting tests done, cancer cells could end up being spread to other places in her body.  I knew that wasn't what I wanted and I made my peace with not knowing the specific name of the cancer she had.  I felt good about the path I was on. 

My vet and I discussed our shared belief that our bodies are designed to be able to heal themselves and that one of the best things I could do was support Lucky's immune system.  I started giving her an herb that is designed to do just that, (boost her immune system) and she started getting daily Reiki treatments from me.  We also started her on another herbs that would work on getting rid of the tumors.   I knew this was the right course of action for us because for me personally, chemo and radiation were never going to be an option I would choose.  I wanted to get rid of these tumors and I also wanted to minimize any negative impact on Lucky's body.  

It was a rocky couple of months, not seeing the tumors change in size and wondering what I was doing wrong, worrying that it wasn't going to work.  I knew I had to face the fact that Lucky was 13, which is a pretty advanced age for a German Shepherd and that she might not be able to fight this.  I also knew I had to accept that when her time came, it was her time and I didn't have the ability to change fate.   

We switched to a different herb after a month to see if that worked and after another month, there was still no change in the size of the tumors. I wasn't willing to give up though and Lucky was telling me she wasn't ready to give up either.  She told me by continuing to have a great appetite, by having energy and still being goofy.  She told me in ways that I could feel in my heart, that she wasn't ready to go, so we pressed on.  

There were many moments where my fears and emotions would get the best of me and my intuition, which seemed to work effortlessly with other people's animals, seemed to not work at all when it came to Lucky.  There were days where I would be overcome with sadness and worry . . . worry about what I would do without her, worry that I wasn't doing enough, worry that I was letting her down in some way by not being able to make these tumors go away.  The first herb hadn't worked, the second herb hadn't worked, the third herb hadn't worked.  I was running out of options and feared that I was running out of time.  It had been 4 months and there was still no improvement.  I would have moments where I didn't think I would be able to figure out what to do, where I just wanted someone else to tell me what to do . . . and then eventually, I would find my center again and be able to access my own intuition about what to do next.  

After a particularly rough couple of days of self doubt and worry, I finally found my center again.  I felt peaceful and more empowered.  I let my mind go quiet and asked what I needed to do to make these tumors go away, if that was possible.  The answer came into my head . . . I needed to give her a combination of the 1st herb and the 3rd herb.  I couldn't explain it scientifically, I didn't know why the combination of those two was the potentially right combinations, I had no data to back it up.  All I knew was that an answer had come to me and I wasn't about to ignore it.  I immediately started Lucky on the combination of the two herbs.  I tried to resist the urge to check the tumors every day to see if they were changing, but at first it was hard to keep my hands off them.  Eventually, I managed to stop checking them and tried to just trust that we were on the right track. 

Last week, about three weeks after I had last touched her tumors, I decided to run my hands over them.  Much to my surprise and delight, they were smaller.  I was afraid I was wrong, afraid to get my hopes up, so I didn't touch them again for another week for fear that I would touch them again and discover they hadn't changed at all.  But yesterday, I checked them again and sure enough, they are smaller.   

There is still a long list of unknowns . . . I don't know if the tumors will keep shrinking, I don't know if I am going to need to change up the herbs I am giving her to keep this progressing positively, I don't know how long she'll be with me even if we do make the tumors go away.  

What I do know though, is that this was the right path for us.  I also know that one of the most important things I have learned through this is that I need to keep trusting myself, trusting my intuition and trusting what I am picking up from Lucky.  I have also come to realize that there are new options out there every day for dealing with disease.  We aren't stuck with limited choices if we're willing to take a chance at trying something new and if we're willing to trust that the right path will present itself if we stay true to ourselves and our own beliefs.  

For the moment, I am blessed to have a beautiful German Shepherd, who can still make me laugh and melt my heart.  I am holding the intention that the tumors continue to shrink until they are completely gone and I try to take a moment every day to picture her healthy and cancer free.  I know I can't make her live forever but I can love her and appreciate her every day that she is here, and I can keep trusting that my intuition will help guide me to make the best choices I can for her.  

If you have an animal with cancer, I hope you'll explore the many alternative treatments that are out there and trust yourself to find the one that is right for you and your animal.

Preparing for the end

I spoke with someone today whose dog is nearing the end of his life.  Her veterinarian suggested to her that she needed to make a decision in the next few days about whether to help her dog pass on.  She was understandably scared, confused and very sad.  

My advice to her was that she spend some time tonight talking to her dog.  I suggested that she tell him how much he has meant to her, that she recount fun times they have had together and spend some time remembering, with him, how meaningful their time together has been all of these years.  I explained to her that not only would this heartfelt communication give him peace but that it would give her peace as well.  

I suggested that she explain to him that she believed he was nearing the end of his life and that she would help him go if he was ready to go.  I also suggested she ask him for a sign to let her know if he felt he could stay longer.   I really do believe our animals understand when we talk to them and they will give us a sign if they believe they are not ready to go yet. 

She tearfully thanked me for talking to her about it and I again assured her that speaking from her heart with him would bring them both peace and that I believed that when she woke up in the morning, she would have a better sense of what to do.  

This is a scenario that hundreds of people face every day . . . the end of their pets life . . . and unfortunately, most of us never feel "ready" for it.  It is scary, it is heart wrenching and we are filled with sadness and fear and confusion.   I believe with all my heart that the best thing we can do when this time comes is honor our pet, to let them know how much we love them and how much they have meant to us, remind them that their purpose in our life has been fulfilled. 

I also believe that we shouldn't wait until "the end" to have these conversations.  This is something that I think about often because my own dog, Lucky, is struggling with health issues (cancer, hip dysplasia, spine problems, etc).  For the last 4-5 months, I have wondered often if she was going to leave me soon.  I have felt overwhelmed with sadness and fear at the thought of being without her and yet, I have a strong impulse to just keep talking to her.  I want her to know every day how much she has meant to me.  I want her to know that I am the person I am today because of her and that I am incredibly grateful for the gifts she has given me. I want her to feel honored and appreciated every day, not because she has these health issues but because she deserves to know every day how important she is to me.

So, if you have a pet, whether they are sick or in excellent health, please tell them what they mean to you. Tell them how they have made your life better, let them know what you have learned as a result of their presence in your life, and remind them how important they are. I know they will treasure every word.   And when their time comes, you will feel peace inside, knowing that they knew everything that was in your heart.