The Grand Illusion

Tonight I was listening to one of the new "Classic Rock Favorites" CDs I made for myself. If you know
me, you know that I probably have a couple hundred "Most Favorite Songs Ever" - LOL. Music has always been a very special part of my life - it has always moved me and touched my soul in ways that is hard to describe sometimes. 

Quite often I find myself listening to a song I have heard a thousand times before but suddenly the lyrics take on a new meaning to me (or I finally understand what the lyrics actually are)  :-) Tonight, I had one of those moments. The Grand Illusion by Styx began playing. At first, I smiled to myself as I recalled that Styx was the very first concert I ever got to attend. I was a freshman in high school and I somehow convinced my parents to let me go to the concert with my sister and her friends. Truth be told, I probably had to put forth a lot of effort to convince my sister too, but it was a night I will never forget.) 

As I let myself get immersed in the song, the lyrics began jumping out at me in a new way . . . I feel compelled to share them here . . . as the lyrics hold a very deep meaning that depicts much of what we are in the midst of right now. 

If you feel inspired, listen to the song, breathe it in and enjoy where the song takes you!! 

"The Grand Illusion" by Styx

Welcome to the Grand illusion
Come on in and see what's happening
Pay the price, get your tickets for the show
The stage is set, the band starts playing
Suddenly your heart is pounding
Wishing secretly you were a star.

But don't be fooled by the radio
The TV or the magazines
They show you photographs of how your life should be
But they're just someone else's fantasy
So if you think your life is complete confusion
Because you never win the game
Just remember that it's a Grand illusion
And deep inside we're all the same.
We're all the same...

So if you think your life is complete confusion
Because your neighbors got it made
Just remember that it's a Grand illusion
And deep inside we're all the same.
We're all the same...

America spells competition, join us in our blind ambition
Get yourself a brand new motor car
Someday soon we'll stop to ponder what on Earth's this spell we're under
We made the grade and still we wonder who the hell we are.

Let's Stay In Our Own Lane

In the last few years, it's been troubling to me how comfortable everyone seems to have become with telling other people how to run their lives. We hear everyone else's opinion whether we've asked or not - and it often comes with an expectation that we are going to do what we are told to do by others. 

Recently, I posted a request for Kino on our neighborhood email list for tennis balls and a 5 gallon paint bucket. The two seemingly unrelated items are the key to keeping Kino exercising, given that he is only interested in chasing tennis balls if I am trying to do something else in the yard. haha Consequently, I drag the bucket around the yard with me as I plant flowers or pull weeds. After a few decades, the paint bucket that he inherited from Lucky cracked so it was time for a replacement. 

Given that I prefer to reuse/recycle things, I put the request out to see if anyone had some of what we needed. Much to my delight, we quickly got offers for both . . . in fact, Kino now has so many tennis balls, we've got an extra stash in the garage for when the current batch gets broken and we lucked out getting two buckets instead of one because the person who donated the bucket couldn't get the two unstuck.  :-)  

While most of the responses were very positive - with either offers to share what they had with Kino or compliments on his good looks - we also received unsolicited advice. I was told how dangerous it is to allow dogs to play with tennis balls and received videos showing the dangers of what happens when a tennis ball gets lodged in a dog's throat. I received a strong recommendation on where I could go to buy a paint bucket and how dangerous it was to use a bucket with dried paint in it. I'm not knocking them, I know their hearts are in a good place, but all this "advice" came without knowing any of the facts (i.e. what I do for a living, how many years I have had dogs, how responsible or irresponsible I am as a guardian or if the paint buckets even had dried paint on the inside . . . that was an assumption on their part since they never even saw the buckets)

It troubles me that we've gotten so comfortable with overreaching when it comes to telling people what we think they should do. Especially when people have no idea what the full circumstances are. Just as we, as a society, seem to have decided it's ok to tell others how to manage their health. I see people crossing the line every single day - thinking THEY have the answer to what someone else should do - that the approach they are taking is the RIGHT one and everyone else is not only wrong but they are "selfish" and "uncaring" if they don't make the same choice. 

So this blog is basically a plea . . . asking people to respectfully stay in their own lane. If I want to throw tennis balls for my dog while I am doing yard work, that is my business. If I want to use a recycled item rather than buying that item new from a store, that is my business as well. 

It is also my business how I manage my own health. I will continue to do whatever is best for me, based on the knowledge I have of my body, how I look after my health and based on my history. If I want to get seven booster shots or zero shots, that's up to me to decide because it is my body, it is my health. I would never consider telling someone what they should do . . . I look forward to the day that that respect goes both ways.  

Maybe before we fling our advice around, we can pause and ask ourselves "Did this person ASK for my advice? or am I throwing my advice at them without their request for input? Before we decide we know what is best for others, maybe we can pause and ask ourselves "Do I know everything there is to know about this person's circumstances? their history? or am I making a bunch of assumptions? Before we begin name calling and belittling and harshly criticizing others for the choices they make, maybe we can ask ourselves "Is it my job to decide what others should do?" and "Is it really OK to judge people so harshly and bully them just because they are making a choice that is different from mine?"

I personally believe that our job is to manage ourselves and our own lives . . . unless we are expressly asked for our opinion, I think that it is best if we stay in our own lane and worry about ourselves. I know that if someone WANTS my opinion they will ask for it. I also know that the only person I can control is myself. 

I respect the fact that we are each on our own journey here - I honor the path that each person is on and the choices they make for themselves. So once again, I ask "Can we please all stay in our own lane?"

P.S.  I am not pretending that I've never done this . . . as any of my ex-boyfriends can attest to, I was the queen of over-stepping and telling them what I thought they should do.  :-)  Learning that about myself and being able to apologize to almost all of them for the myriad of times I over-stepped was a part of my journey. It's definitely a learning process and I am grateful that I was able to find my way to a place where I can respect and honor what others are doing / not doing. 

Anyone Can Be The Light

 

This post touched me so much I had to share it. I have been trying to write a post with a similar message in recent weeks yet the words just haven't come together cohesively. When I saw this, I knew it was exactly what was in my heart - the message I couldn't find the words for.

It was written by Elizabeth Gilbert. Truth be told, I don't know who she is, it was forwarded so many times I was unable to track it back to her and ask her permission to share it here. (The only Elizabeth Gilbert I am aware of is the woman who wrote Eat, Pray, Love but I am not sure if this was written by THAT Elizabeth Gilbert or a different one). At any rate, something tells me the author of this won't mind if her beautiful story reaches more people. 

I hope it touches you and inspires you the way it has touched and inspired me:

“Some years ago, I was stuck on a crosstown bus in New York City during rush hour. Traffic was barely moving. The bus was filled with cold, tired people who were deeply irritated with one another, with the world itself. Two men barked at each other about a shove that might or might not have been intentional. A pregnant woman got on, and nobody offered her a seat. Rage was in the air; no mercy would be found here.

But as the bus approached Seventh Avenue, the driver got on the intercom. *'Folks,'* he said, *'I know you have had a rough day and you are frustrated. I can’t do anything about the weather or traffic, but here is what I can do. As each one of you gets off the bus, I will reach out my hand to you. As you walk by, drop your troubles into the palm of my hand, okay? Don’t take your problems home to your families tonight, just leave them with me. My route goes right by the Hudson River, and when I drive by there later, I will open the window and throw your troubles in the water.'*

It was as if a spell had lifted. Everyone burst out laughing. Faces gleamed with surprised delight. People who had been pretending for the past hour not to notice each other’s existence were suddenly grinning at each other like, is this guy serious?

Oh, he was serious.

At the next stop, just as promised, the driver reached out his hand, palm up, and waited. One by one, all the exiting commuters placed their hand just above his and mimed the gesture of dropping something into his palm. Some people laughed as they did this, some teared up but everyone did it. The driver repeated the same lovely ritual at the next stop, too. And the next. All the way to the river.

We live in a hard world, my friends. Sometimes it is extra difficult to be a human being. Sometimes you have a bad day. Sometimes you have a bad day that lasts for several years. You struggle and fail. You lose jobs, money, friends, faith, and love. You witness horrible events unfolding in the news, and you become fearful and withdrawn. There are times when everything seems cloaked in darkness. You long for the light but don’t know where to find it.

But what if you are the light? What if you are the very agent of illumination that a dark situation begs for? That’s what this bus driver taught me, that anyone can be the light, at any moment. This guy wasn’t some big power player. He wasn’t a spiritual leader. He wasn’t some media-savvy influencer. He was a bus driver, one of society’s most invisible workers. But he possessed real power, and he used it beautifully for our benefit.

When life feels especially grim, or when I feel particularly powerless in the face of the world’s troubles, I think of this man and ask myself, What can I do, right now, to be the light? Of course, I can’t personally end all wars, or solve global warming, or transform vexing people into entirely different creatures. I definitely can’t control traffic. But I do have some influence on everyone I brush up against, even if we never speak or learn each other’s name.

*No matter who you are, or where you are, or how mundane or tough your situation may seem, I believe you can illuminate your world. In fact, I believe this is the only way the world will ever be illuminated, one bright act of grace at a time, all the way to the river.*”

~ Elizabeth Gilbert

Sing A Song

I woke yesterday morning hearing a song in my head. Like a lot of people, I receive much of my guidance through music. (I assume it is because I love music so much, my guides have always known it was the best way to get through to me)  :-) 

What I heard was Karen Carpenter's voice . . . "Sing, sing a song, sing out loud, sing out strong, don't worry that it's not good enough for anyone else to hear, just sing, sing a song." I teared up because I have loved the Carpenters since I was a little girl and I was so happy to be getting the message from my guides in this particular way. 

Just as the thought entered my mind "I wonder if this is a message just for me or if it's for everyone" I heard the part of the song play in my head where the whole chorus joins her and everyone is singing the lyrics . . . Goosebumps ran up my arms and I could feel how powerful the message was. I knew I was supposed to share it in a blog post. 

Then the puzzle pieces began flying in rapid fire . . . my heart beat faster as I attempted to see and hold onto each one as it flew in.

I remembered the sense that kept coming to me the day before, that WE get to decide how quickly or slowly things unfold from here. This state of chaos and polarity and disharmony the world is in . . . it doesn't need to last forever if WE choose to shift it sooner. Then I heard:  

See with your heart

Hear with your heart

Act from your heart

With that came this "knowing" that by doing so, we could inspire even more people to do the same . . . and that THAT was what could help move us more quickly out of the state of chaos and disharmony and judgment that the world is in right now. 

Then I flashed on a memory from many years ago . . . I was walking along the beach looking for seaglass and I noticed a woman in front of me reaching down to pick things up every few feet. At first I thought she was seaglass hunting like me but soon I realized she was picking up garbage. I was really touched by what I saw her doing and from that day forward I always brought an extra bag with me so that when I walked the beach, I could look for seaglass AND pick up garbage too. 

After that, a memory from a couple years ago popped in . . . when I was picking up garbage on the beach and a gal walked up to me to thank me for what I was doing. She said "I feel guilty that I haven't been doing that. I think I will start doing it too" and I said "Please don't feel guilty, how do you think I got started? I saw someone else doing it." :-) We grinned at each other from ear to ear and then we spontaneously hugged each other. It was one of those awesome moments that had me smiling the whole rest of the day.

With that, another puzzle piece "clicked" - an additional vague thought that had run through my head several times the day before was "Maybe we also get to help decide how big of a wake-up call will be necessary to move things forward." (For those of you who are unfamiliar with what I am speaking of, there has been a lot of talk in the spiritual communities about there being a big "event" that might occur to "wake people up" to what is happening on our planet right now and that it could be something big and unsettling. I don't say that to scare anyone, because I have no idea if it's the truth, I'm just sharing what I have been hearing in recent years)

So back to us getting to decide how "big" that wake up call is . . . I am going to use an earthquake metaphor - not because I have a "knowing" about an earthquake in our future but because I grew up in California where earthquakes are so common that it's the first thing that came to mind. If an earthquake WAS needed to "shake things up" the feeling I was getting was that it wouldn't need to be a 10.0 earthquake that does a ton damage . . . that it could be a 3.5 earthquake that maybe rattles some nerves and knocks something off the shelf . . . that maybe WE get to determine the strength of the "wake up call" by our actions NOW. 

It feels to me like the more we SEE and HEAR and ACT from our HEARTS, the more gentle the "earthquake" will end up being. I will not profess to be "right" about this . . . merely sharing the feeling that kept coming to me and how it seemed to connect in with these puzzle pieces. 

And then the final piece clicked in . . . something that occurred on Sunday night. The beach town where I live has a huge firework show that occurs in October each year. It is put on by a local Foundation as a way to "give back to the community." In years past, I have written them, pleading that they find another way to "give back to the community" that didn't scare animals and veterans and people with PTSD and yet it made no difference. My German shepherd is so frightened of fireworks that I dread this event. I knew I needed to get him in the car before it started and drive as far away as I could so that he wouldn't hear them. All the while, I had to keep fighting the irritation that was creeping in and the urge to judge the Foundation who put this annual display on. I knew what I needed to do was just focus on what was in my control - which was getting my boy away from the noise. 

Once we were in the car and heading toward the freeway, I turned on the CD player to see what was in there and was very pleased to find that it was Eddie Money's first album. Given that he was my first rock star crush AND that he was a huge animal lover, I thought it seemed perfect to have him singing to us on our drive. I flipped back a few songs so that I could hear one of my favorites . . . in the chorus of the song Jealousys, he sings "Life on earth, take it for what it's worth, save the Universe, love one another." I felt so soothed to hear his voice and I knew those lyrics were exactly what I needed to hear. 

Fortunately for me, one of my kind neighbors texted me after the fireworks finale to let me know it was safe to drive back home and as I pulled off the freeway and turned into my neighborhood, Jealousys came on again. My first thought was "Wow, we drove for the duration of the entire album" but then I heard him sing "Save the Universe, love one another" and as goose bumps ran up my arms and my eyes filled with tears, I felt the magic of it all . . . I had no doubt the timing was divinely orchestrated. 

So, I am going to "Sing, sing a song, sing out loud, sing out strong!" and I'm not going to worry if it's good enough for anyone else to hear, I'm going to just sing . . . sing my song!! Maybe you will feel inspired to do the same. 

It still stuns me that Eddie was sharing such relevant and truth inspired wisdom over 40 years ago when that album came out . . . "Save the Universe, Love one another" . . .  but I sense it is truly a message for RIGHT NOW! If we enter each interaction we have seeing with our hearts and hearing with our hearts and acting from our hearts, maybe we'll get to shift our experience here on earth . . . to one that is a whole lot more peaceful and harmonious and a whole lot more fun! Maybe you will consider this as well. It certainly couldn't hurt to give it a try!

Where Is Our Compassion?

In our current reality, that seems to be filled with polarity and division, where people are feeling helpless and hopeless, there has never been a time where compassion is more needed . . . so I find it quite troubling that our headlines are still filled with name calling and more attempts to keep us divided. I saw something this week that bothered me so much, I feel compelled to speak up and say something. 

The headline was about a news reporter who was confronted by a "crazy man" . . . this headline showed up over and over and over again . . . sometimes they changed the word from "crazy to deranged" but basically every headline made fun of and denigrated the man who approached the news reporter, Shaquille Brewster.  

My first thought was "Why on earth would they label the man that way?" I watched the short clip, which was the only clip I could find because every single news outlet showed the exact same thing and in it you can hear the man saying "Report accurately!" A man wants accurate reporting . . . why did he get labeled with such derogatory terms? 

The "scene" of this event took place in Gulfport, Mississippi . . . an area that had just experienced sustained winds of up ago 150mph from Hurricane Ida. Rather than labeling the man "crazy" or "deranged" why wasn't anyone asking if he was ok? If he wanted to make sure the reporter was reporting accurately, he must have had a reason for it. If he was acting aggressively, why wasn't anyone asking WHY? 

On the heels of 150pmh winds, do we know what this man has been through? Did he lose his home? His business? Was he missing loved ones? Did he have anywhere to go? Anything to eat? Did he need help of some sort? 

Yesterday, I saw another headline about this "event" so I clicked on the article to see if there was more information. The article was about the number of people who reached out to the reporter, Shaquille Brewster, to make sure he was ok.  Every article I clicked on said the exact same thing . . . it was about the outpouring of support he was receiving for being confronted on the beach the other day.  

What about the man who confronted him? Do we know if HE is ok? Do we know why he was so concerned about accurate reporting? Surely he must have had a reason for coming across as upset as he seemed to be. Do we know if HE needs support right now? Is anyone reaching out to him to make sure that HE is ok? Where is our compassion for someone who quite probably LIVES in Gulfport? (I am making that assumption based on the fact that from what I could tell, the only people in Gulfport at the time were residents and reporters - feel free to correct me if I am wrong). Why isn't there an outpouring of support for him? I couldn't fall asleep that night because I couldn't stop thinking about the man in the video . . . and the rest of the people who have been in the path of Hurricane Ida. 

I read today that flooding was already occurring in Gulfport. I sent all the love and compassion I could (and will continue to do so) . . . to the man in the video and to all the people who are being affected by Hurricane Ida. And yet, I know we can still do more. 

So where is our compassion?  I know it's out there but you'd never know it from what you see in the news.  The people who are being affected by these "acts of nature" all over the world need our compassion  . . . they need our support. They don't need to be called names and ridiculed in our headlines. I know we can do better . . . 

At times like these, I am brought back to some of my favorite music  . . . music I grew up on that always touched my heart and my soul. Today, I share the lyrics of one of my favorite Diana Ross songs:

Reach out and touch: 

Reach out and touch somebody's hand. Make this world a better place if you can

Reach out and touch, somebody's hand, make this world a better place if you can

(Just try)

Take a little time out of your busy day to give encouragement to someone who's lost their way

Or would I be talking to a stone if I asked you to share a problem that's not your own

We can change things if we start giving. 

Why don't you reach out and touch somebody's hand, make this world a better place if you can. Reach out and touch, somebody's hand, make this world a better place if you can.

(Just try) 

If you see an old friend on the street and he's down, remember his shoes could fit your feet

Try a little kindness, you'll see, it's something that comes very naturally. We can change things if we start giving.

Why don't you reach out and touch - why don't you reach out and touch somebody's hand - make this world a better place if you can. 

ps:  I have since read that they issued a warrant for the man's arrest (with a list of charges that did NOT match anything I saw in the video) and then another update that he had been found and put in jail. Again, I ask - Where is our compassion??  Who is going to tell HIS side of the story? When are we going to decide that name calling people in the headlines (without looking at and reporting on the other side of the story) is something we won't accept? 

It's Not What You Say But How You Say It . . .

It's not what you say but how you say it . . . and it's not about what you choose but how you communicate about the choice.  

These are two beliefs of mine that I try to always live by because I have seen time and again how important they are for creating more harmony . . . and yet I find myself living in a world right now that doesn't seem to share in my belief that these guidelines for communication truly can make a difference.

This summer I was uninvited to two weddings. In one situation, the wedding had to be scaled way back due to the financial hit their family business has taken in the last year and a half. First I received a phone call from the father of the bride explaining what they had to do and apologizing that I hadn't "made the cut." LOL  We had a lovely chat and we hung up the phone appreciating the chance to connect and knowing our friendship was still as strong as it always was. A few days later, I got a beautiful letter in the mail from the bride-to-be (which shocked me because I knew I had only been on the original invite list because of my long friendship with her father). I was so touched that she took the time to write such a sweet letter, I felt inspired to respond with a hand written letter myself. It was actually really nice to connect with her that way. In the end, because of the effort they put into communicating with me and the care they took to make sure I didn't feel unimportant, I didn't mind that I had been uninvited to the wedding.

In the other situation, I was copied on a large group email from one of my very best friends from childhood that basically said, "Either you agree to put experimental things in your body by our wedding date OR you can't attend." They asked people to reply only with a "yes or no" so I did that . . . and received a one line response of "Sorry you won't be able to come." Once I picked my jaw up off the floor and addressed all the emotions it brought up for me, I was left with the disappointment that the approach showed no kindness, no indication that our 4 and 1/2 decade friendship meant anything to her at all. I realized that, at least for now, this was a friendship I wasn't going to put anymore energy into.

While I respect everyone's right to make choices that feel right to them, HOW we communicate regarding those choices really can make all the difference in the world.  

As another example, my father has some pretty strong political beliefs that don't match up to mine and I often receive emails from him that are very politically charged. (Which are often filled with blame for the "other side" for just about everything.")  While I COULD reply to them with something mean or I COULD just ignore them, I have chosen to read through them and find things that I appreciate about them. i.e. Were some facts shared that I found helpful? Were there any points in there that I agreed with? My responses always start out with what I appreciated about the email. I then say "I am sure I probably sound like a broken record but just wanted to say again that it bums me out to see emails that I filled with so much blame because I think it keeps us in a state of polarity. I'd love to see emails that have facts and data in them that also include possible solutions or ideas on how to move forward from here. If you come across anything like that, I would love to see them.

I respond that way because I love and respect my father and I want him to feel heard and appreciated AND I also want to be heard and appreciated. I don't want to build any unnecessary walls between us so I make sure I take extra care when I am communicating . . . not just with my dad but with everyone. Our words can cause hurt and separation if we don't take the time to consider how we are responding and if we don't hold some compassion and understanding for others when we are crafting a response.

Unfortunately, it seems we are being led to fear people who are "different" or making different choices. It is so rampant in our world right now that we are doing damage on a regular basis that to me isn't necessary. 

How we choose to communicate and how much compassion we hold for others is more impactful than I think most people realize. If we can hold respect for others and operate from our hearts, many relationships can be strengthened instead of torn apart. We might start building bridges instead of walls and we  may be able to shift ourselves out of this very divided world we currently live in. 

Please let's not get so caught up in our fears that we forget how to treat others with kindness and compassion. 

August 8, 2021 - Silent Meditation - Between 8am-8pm PST

I am writing this particular (time sensitive) blog in the hopes of generating support for something I am participating in Sunday, August 8th between 8am PST and 8pm PST. 

Once again my friends from around the globe and I are going to be sitting in silent meditation - focusing on feeling the energy of LOVE. It is our belief that our planet and all it's inhabitants greatly need this infusion of love energy - and if we can get a LOT of people to give at least 30 minutes of their time, we believe it can go a long way towards diffusing the chaotic energy that is permeating our planet.

If you can give 30 min. of your time that would be wonderful. Equally wonderful is if you can give more than 30 minutes or join in several times during that 12 hour timeframe.

The gals who are organizing this event happen to live in California so the event times are set in PST. Some folks are going to head up to Mount Shasta to sit in silent meditation with others - and yet, it is not necessary at all to be there in person.

Do you have questions? Let me see if I can answer some of the questions that have come up for folks.

- What should you do if you live in a different time zone? Figure out what 8am-8pm PST is where you live and participate from your time zone anytime during those hours. 

Do you need to sign up? Nope. You can just "do your thing" although if you'd like, you are welcome to go to the All For Love FB page to let them know you plan to participate. 

Does it cost anything? Nope. Not a thing.

Do I need an internet connection to participate? No you don't. For me personally, I feel better when I am away from technology (one of the reasons I love the forest near my house is because I get zero cell service out there so it's a great place for me to do my walking meditations) :-)  

Do you have to meditate? Nope you don't need to if meditation isn't your thing. The important thing is that you are focused on LOVE so do something where you are most likely to feel nothing but love. 

For my friends who have just become grandparents, that might mean rocking their new grand baby. For my musically inclined friends, that might mean playing a certain set list of songs that puts them in their heart. For my pet loving friends, it might mean snuggling with their fur baby. The important thing is that you just feel LOVE in your heart - and you are the best person to decide what makes you feel love.

There isn't a "right" way to do it . . . we just hope to have as many people as possible generating as much love energy as possible. 

What if you don't believe it will do any good? Would you be willing to do it anyway? Seriously, is there any harm that could come from just focusing on the feeling of love for a while? 

Do you want to read more about this? You can find more information on Facebook - the event page is called All For Love. 

If you are able to participate, Kino and I thank you from the bottom of our hearts . . . We truly believe "What the world needs now is Love Sweet Love . . . "

PS - for those of you who prefer Guided Meditations - that is a great option too!  I thought I'd share one of my most favorite ones. It was created by Amanda Lorence, one of the most beautiful souls I know. Her voice is so soothing to me and I can feel the pure love that comes from her heart. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6kbmLC5JAY