Animals Do Get Mad

 

This is a blog I wrote almost fifteen years ago. I noticed that recently it has been getting a lot of views so there is something in here that people seem to be interested in. Thus, I am giving it a refresh and publishing it again - trusting that it will serve people in some way.

Sometimes people get confused about the emotional side of animals and have a difficult time squaring up all the different things we hear about what animals feel. They find that the things they believe about animals are occasionally in direct conflict with other things they believe about animals. 

One example of this is the belief that animals love unconditionally so people often assume that means they can't get mad. But the truth is animals DO get mad and for some people that doesn't seem to gel with the idea that animals are just happy all the time, happy to be with us, thrilled when we walk in the door (ok, maybe that isn't what everyone believes about cats) :-) but it's difficult sometimes to embrace the idea that if our animals feel, then they have the capacity to feel all the things we feel, and that includes being irritated or mad at times. 

I think the difference with animals is that they seem to get over it more quickly, forgive almost immediately. They don't hold grudges. They can be mad one moment and then be finished with the feeling. Often times all it takes is for someone to acknowledge their feelings or explain something to them and then they feel content again. I think that is why they are generally peaceful and happy. They may be irritated from time to time or get their feelings hurt, but they don't stay stuck there, as far as I can tell. 

But still, sometimes it's hard for us to believe that they get upset, especially if they are upset with us. Years ago when I was in the presence of another animal communicator, I was talking to her about my beliefs about animals and I said something about some breeds of dogs being smarter than other breeds. She stopped and said, "Lucky is upset with you for saying that" and I was thinking "What? Lucky's mad at me? How is that possible, with all the nice things I do for her. :-) It wasn't like I said German Shepherds are dumb."

The communicator told me that Lucky believed all animals are equally intelligent and that the only difference is in how they are labeled and treated. Since certain breeds are labeled as "more intelligent" they show more of their intelligence. Breeds that are labeled as "goofy" often act that way to appease our expectation. On a personal level, if they are treated like they are smart and will catch on quickly to things, then they usually do. If they are treated like they are dumb, they don't bother to let their intelligence shine through. She said Lucky was upset that I didn't realize that all animals were equally intelligent. 

I am happy to say I have learned a lot about animals since then and have since grown to share Lucky's belief. I'm embarrassed that I used to misunderstand animals that way. I don't even know where I learned that  but I'm just happy that I got "re-educated." While it took me a few days to wrap my mind around the idea that Lucky could be mad at me, it seemed to shift our whole relationship onto a new level. I saw her in a different light and was much more conscious of the things I said and how she reacted. It changed the way I looked at ALL animals and helped me understand the magnitude of what they were capable of. 

I continue to see evidence of other animals being upset and it still makes me smile, because it is a reminder of their emotional capacity and how much richer our relationships with animals can be when we more fully embrace the depth of their emotional experience. 

One time I was giving a dog a Reiki treatment and I asked her guardian how her birthday was because I knew some friends of hers were throwing a party for her at a park. Just then I could feel irritation from her dog. When I tuned in, what I got from the dog was that she was mad that she hadn't been able to go to the party. In her mind, since the party was at a park, she should have been able to go. When I told her guardian what I was picking up, she smiled and nodding in a "knowing" sort of way, letting me know she wasn't entirely surprised to hear her dog was upset. She explained that this particular park didn't allow dogs. At first I felt resistance from her dog and could sense she didn't believe her guardian because she believed dogs were allowed at all parks as long as they were on leash and well behaved. Her guardian explained to her that this particular park didn't allow dogs because there were a lot of deer and other wildlife . . . while her guardian was saying this, I felt contentment run through her dog's body. She heard what her guardian said, she understood it and she was no longer mad about being left at home when her mom went to the park for her party. 

Sometimes animals get irritated because there is a change in the home and no one bothered to give them a heads up about it. It could be the arrival of a new animal, the departure of a family member, or where their bed got moved. Animals just want us to explain things to them. Once we do, they are content again. 

I have worked with many animals who were having "behavioral problems" that started once a new animal was brought into the household. Usually, all it takes is for their guardian and I to acknowledge their feelings and explain how things are going to be different or the same now that the new animal is there, and miraculously the "behavior problems" go away. As I said, they can "get over things" quickly once someone acknowledges their feelings and helps them understand what is going on. 

Our animals also get mad at us sometimes or feel let down if we aren't taking care of ourselves or we're letting other people hurt us. They don't stay mad, but they certainly have feelings about it. 

I had a client whose cat was sick so I was giving her frequent Reiki treatments. One particular day, I could feel anger coming from the cat, which I had never picked up before. I asked her guardian what had been going on around the house, and at first, he wasn't offering up much. The sense I got was that someone was being taken advantage of but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Finally, her guardian told me that his girlfriend hadn't been treating him very well lately and he admitted he wasn't doing anything about it. Finally, the pieces fell into place and I explained that his cat was upset that he wasn't standing up for himself and that she would prefer if he didn't let the girlfriend walk all over him anymore. His reaction was a mixture of gratitude, amusement and disbelief. Months later, after the girlfriend had moved out, he confessed to me that he was still stunned (and very touched) that his cat cared that much about how he was being treated. 

This leads to another interesting thing about the work I do. I am usually contacted initially to help an animal, but the majority of the time, the guardian ends up getting help as well. I probably coach the humans as much as I communicate with the animals. Typically, I partner with the guardians to help the animals, and I partner with the animals to help the guardians . . . and it makes the work I do even more gratifying. 

If you aren't already embracing the depth of your animal's emotional capacity, I hope you will consider moving in that direction. There is so much we can learn from animals if we're willing to "listen" to them, observe them and give them credit for all they have to offer us.