A Gift Idea For The Holidays

Last year, I shared a post about my book possibly being a great option for people on your holiday shopping list. Since it is that time of year again, I am refreshing the blog and posting it again (with new links, additional reviews, etc. Plus it is also now available as an ebook).

It seems like the perfect time to put out a plug for my book - Lucky For Me, A Journey of Healing and Self-discovery. Given that many folks are doing their holiday shopping right now, this might be the ideal present for folks on your list (Or even a nice gift to yourself)  :-) 

Is there anyone on your list who is:

- A huge animal lover?

- Adopted a dog that was abused or has some emotional issues?

- Wanting to learn more about the deep connection that is possible with animals?

- On a healing path of their own (physical or emotional)?

- Wanting to find themselves and discover who they truly are? Or what their purpose is?

- Looking for ways to love and accept themselves more fully?

- Wanting to better understand themselves and their innate gifts?

- Deeply sensitive and struggling with their sensitivity from time to time?

If so, Lucky For Me could be the perfect gift for them this holiday season. 

Where To Purchase the book:

The book is available two ways - in paperback (via the publisher) and as an ebook (via Amazon)

Here is a link to the publisher, if you would like to purchase a paperback copy of my book:

https://riversanctuarypublishing.com/shop/lucky-for-me/

Here is a link to Amazon, if you would like to purchase the ebook:

 Buy e-book edition

Book Summary:

From the time Maureen was a little girl, all she wanted was a German shepherd. Then one day she is inexplicably drawn to a news story about a shepherd puppy that had been used in a dog-fighting ring and then heartlessly discarded in a dumpster. Was this the German shepherd she was meant to have? An adoption lottery could answer that and change her life in unimaginable ways.

Lucky For Me takes us deep into the lives of Lucky, the severely abused German shepherd and Maureen, her adopter. Assuming the role of rescuer, Maureen set out on what felt like an insurmountable mission to help Lucky heal from her physical and emotional wounds. Along the way she was catapulted into her own healing journey. Will Lucky and Maureen be able to overcome the obstacles that life has dealt them?

Maureen gives us an honest and introspective look at their quest to regain their confidence and find their way back to whom they are meant to be. As they endeavor to accept, heal and free themselves from the past, Maureen realizes how disconnected she has been from her true self.

While attempting to answer the question “Who am I?” pieces of the puzzle begin to reveal themselves in synchronistic and magical ways. Discovering the hidden gifts in her extreme sensitivity and empathic nature, Maureen’s bond with Lucky grows even stronger and more powerful. As the process of self-discovery unfolds, a new way of life emerges—one that finally feels like home.

Lucky for Me is a true story about second chances and new beginnings. It follows Lucky and Maureen as they navigate the ups and downs of the somewhat rocky terrain, which eventually leads them to self-acceptance and self-love. Ultimately, their inspiring adventure shows us what is possible with love, courage, forgiveness, and trust.

Reviews:

To give you a better idea of the content, from the perspective of other readers, and to help you decide who on your list might really enjoy this book as a holiday gift, below you will find some reviews of my book:

Wow. All I can say is wow! I finished Lucky For Me (by Maureen Burkley) on the plane a few weeks ago. The most PERFECT ALIGNMENT OF TIMING is indescribable. I don’t remember when I got the book and started reading it, I’m a slow reader lately and I read in small chunks and then I pick it up again, but I feel like each time I picked it up, that each part I read served me so perfectly during that particular time.

Since we never had a dog, I have learned so much about dogs from this book. But the most interesting part, the book also made me think a lot about life…

As I got to the end, reading about Lucky’s last year, last few months, down to last hours AND after her transitioning …….. I can’t even describe how meaningful it was for me – and things I felt for Maureen and Lucky and for MYSELF at the same time, interwoven together.

With each part of the book I read, it was like being there and being here and having a NEW understanding for the criss-cross points. I was able to begin to feel what Maureen felt AND see how those things connect to things unfolding in my own life right now.

I was able to understand Maureen’s decisions points, where they come from, and marvel at their relationship, at the end, not only had Lucky taught her and us so much, but ….compassion…. wow, compassion!! The place where compassion comes from!! Our wisdom. Our intuition. And the light and joy and peace that come with it.

I feel so much reverence for Maureen and Lucky. I thank her and Lucky both for how I was able to take what I was reading and connect it to my own life, my own journey in such a powerful way. Lucky is still teaching!!! Your pets are still teachers even after they are gone.

Zhanna Kozar

**********************

I just finished reading Lucky for Me by Maureen Burkley. It’s not often that I find a book I can’t put down. From start to finish, the author’s candor and vulnerability are truly remarkable. I was drawn into her world in a way that made me feel as if I were right there alongside her and Lucky.

Burkley’s writing style captures her journey with Lucky, a dog who endured a tragic early life. As the story unfolds, the author discovers that many of the challenges in her own life intersect the hardships she is so lovingly working to heal in Lucky’s, leading to lessons that are deeply intertwined. The book goes beyond the surface of a simple rescue/feel good story, revealing a bond that transforms into a profound friendship full of love, patience and mutual teaching.

What struck me most is the spiritual lesson woven throughout the narrative, a subtle yet powerful message that some readers may miss amidst the ups and downs of life portrayed in the book. I won’t spoil the “aha!” moment for future readers, but I can assure you this story is beautiful and inspiring. One that could easily be read again.

I highly recommend Lucky for Me to anyone looking for a heartfelt and thought-provoking read. It’s a book I’m eager to share with friends, and I’m sure it will resonate with many.

Forrest Cambell

**********************

Like the boy on an expedition who seeks wisdom by attending to omens in The Alchemist, author Maureen Burkley listens intently to signs she receives from Lucky, her adopted German Shepherd. What she learns couldn’t help but propel her on a quest for personal healing and self-discovery. 

Searching to understand the root causes of Lucky’s illnesses, Maureen gingerly and lovingly assists her companion in overcoming deep-seated traumas. Through the unraveling of Lucky’s knotted wounds, Maureen shows us how we can be alchemists of our own pain and transform whatever shackles us from being our best selves. 

Lucky For Me is an intimate portrait of two friends who discover when one of us evolves, everything around us evolves. The hard-earned lessons Maureen imparts throughout her story are poignant and timely, told with extraordinary honesty and regard for the reader. This is not only a must-read for animal lovers, but for anyone who could use a reminder of the preciousness of every life.

Paula Francis – author “Ten Pair Of Shoes”

******************

Maureen Burkley has written a book that any dog lover will find engaging, instructive, and transformational. Her experiences gained from adopting an abused and traumatized puppy greatly illuminate the canine/human relationship. And in doing so, illustrates the profound connection and exchange of learning that is possible between a person and any living creature. 

Maureen’s journey with her German Shepherd, Lucky shows how approaching a challenging task with self-awareness and openness leads to profound discovery and healing growth. The story presents a lesson in compassion while revealing insights and training methods that made me a more loving and responsible dog parent and gave me clues about my own mental-emotional patterns. As a specialist in Emotional Intelligence, I found the book to be a consistent primer threaded with behavioral practices and keys to personal awareness that span the spectrum of relationships. Curiosity, openness, and compassion open us to deeper connections and reveal new paths. And it’s just a great dog story!

Steve Whiteford – Applied Emotional Intelligence Consultant 

*****************

It has been a long time since I resonated with and was moved by a book. “Lucky For Me” resonated with me and I was definitely moved by it. As a longtime dog lover and parent, I truly believe that dogs have souls. It is truly a gift to have a special emotional connection with an animal. They save us and we save them. Thank you for saving Lucky and I am glad she was able to help save you as well.

K.C.

****************

Maureen's book is so inspiring and very interesting to read. She showed so much strength and perseverance during her special journey with Lucky. There is so much of her heart and determination to help Lucky with her challenges. You truly see the power of unconditional love.  The connections Maureen made to guide her were almost unbelievable or magical since many came in strange ways and at just the right time.  

So many stories in the book that I could relate to or felt the same way at times. While reading her book it triggered many of my own memories. My favorite stories were her many fun times with Lucky. Although Lucky had some struggles she never gave up either and actually help to guide Maureen on her path. Lucky brought so much joy to so many people of all ages.  They were such gifts to each other and also to so many people, myself included.

Maureen's book taught me several things that could help me in my life as well. 

L.B.

**************************

A Video Podcast To Learn Even More:

For those of you who would like to listen to / watch a brief (35 min.) podcast about the book, I am also providing a link to the podcast that my friend Steve Whiteford and I did about Lucky For Me. 

Maureen's interview with Steve

When Someone Is Grieving a Loss

When I stumbled upon the information below, it was the perfect summary of my thoughts and feelings on the topic of speaking to someone who has suffered a big loss. Knowing so many people who are dealing with loss/grief and being in the midst of it myself, I thought others might find it helpful as well.

The truth is not everyone can handle another person's grief - there is no judgment there. It can be challenging for many reasons. Some people are just not comfortable with the emotions of grief. Some people want to avoid it because someone else's grief could trigger some of their own fully expressed grief. It can also be difficult to know what to say. For some it may feel like saying nothing is better than saying the wrong thing. Or offering a platitude is safer than trying to figure out what would be best for the person in grief. On top of that, sometimes we say things that seem like they will be helpful, and we do so with the best of intentions, yet the words end up not being as helpful as we hoped they would be. Basically, there are a whole list of reasons why it is difficult.

I found the information below to be a wonderful guide. My hope is that it might assist you the next time you encounter someone who has been hit with a huge loss. 

A guide for what you could say when someone you know has experienced a painful loss:

"Instead of saying, "I know what it feels like", let's say "I cannot imagine your heartbreak". 

Instead of saying, "You're strong, you'll get through this, let's say " You'll hurt, and I'll be here. 

Instead of saying, "You look like you're doing well, Let's say, "How are you holding up today?" 

Instead of saying, "Healing takes time", let's say "Healing has no timeline". 

Instead of saying, "Everything happens for a reason, let's say "This must feel so terribly senseless right now". 

And when there are no words to say at all, you don't need to try and find some. Love speaks in silences too." (Ullie Kaye Poetry)

Yes, Instead of assuming to know the depths of another's pain, let us acknowledge the unfathomable ache in their hearts with empathy. 

Instead of offering false reassurances of strength, let us stand by their side, acknowledging their hurt and offering our unwavering presence. 

Instead of glossing over the struggles with superficial observations, let us inquire about their well-being with genuine concern. 

Instead of imposing a timetable on healing, let us recognize its nonlinear nature, allowing space for its organic process. 

Instead of seeking explanations in empty platitudes, let us acknowledge the rawness of grief and the absence of sense. 

In moments of wordless despair, let love fill the void with its quiet, comforting presence. 

(btw: the post did not list the author. The first half has cited the source, but not the second half so if anyone knows who wrote it, please let me know as I would love to give them credit. 

Lucky For Me - Second Edition Available Now!

 A few months ago, I received an incredibly powerful piece of feed back from someone after they finished reading my book. They wrote: "Your book is kinda like the boulder that gets dropped in the lake - exponentially magnifying Lucky's impact and a testament to you and your growth. I'm very grateful for your story, for you sharing it with the world and that I got to read it." My heart was deeply touched by the comment and it inspired me to move forward more quickly with the revisions of my book.

This week was the 15 year anniversary of Lucky's transition, so it seemed as if the timing was perfect for the Second Edition of Lucky For Me to come out. In case you were wondering what has changed from the first edition to the second edition, the changes were mostly addressing those pesky typos and punctuation errors that snuck through into the first edition. 

Truth be told, I also became aware that I have a tendency to reuse certain words - over and over again - LOL - so in the revised version, I was able to use my thesaurus to add some more variety to a few specific word choices.  :-)

For those of you who were afraid to share my book with friends and family who are teachers, those who work in editing jobs or those who just have a knack for those kinds of details - for fear of giving them a headache - I am happy to say with a higher degree of confidence that you should be able to share my book with them now. :-) 

I also added a few pages to honor my sweet boy Kino who passed away this summer. It didn't feel right to leave him out since he was such a big support to me while I was getting the book edited and published a few years ago. 

Here is a link to purchase the paperback version of the Second Edition: CLICK HERE TO BUY PRINT BOOK

In addition to that, I have decided to make an Ebook available via Amazon. I was previously resistant because I personally prefer a hand held copy of a book :-) but I have come to learn that a lot of people prefer to read books on their kindles so I decided it was time to broaden my scope. It should be up and available next week on Amazon. UPDATE: The Ebook is now available and can be purchased here: Buy e-book edition

Circling back to it being the 15 year anniversary of Lucky's transition on the 15th of October, she was definitely letting me know she was around. I'm not sure if I have ever had so many "visitors" in the yard in one day. 

From the squirrels (and especially the bold little squirrel who came up to the back door a few times and bopped the glass with his nose to let me know he would like some nuts), to the crows that walked around the yard and then sat on the fence to watch over me while I was outside, to a feral cat who come by to see what all the excitement was about and hung out for a while. 

It felt really nice to be surrounded by all of them and I could feel in my heart that they were all messengers from Lucky (and Kino too) letting me know that they knew the importance this particular date held for me and they were sharing it with me. 

I felt even more sure of that the next day, when not a single visitor came by. Definite confirmation that something lovely and magical was happening here on October 15th. 

I hope those of you who haven't read my book yet will enjoy the new and improved version. And that those of you who have read it will feel even more comfortable sharing it with others or buying copies as gifts. And finally, I hope that those of you who prefer Ebooks will be even more inspired to check out my book.

Happy reading everyone!! 

ps: For anyone who would like to see a description of the book and don't want to deal with extra clicks to look at the publisher's website, here is a picture of the book summary on the back cover: 

You can also find this book summary at: https://riversanctuarypublishing.com/shop/lucky-for-me/

Kino's First Nickname

 When Kino came to live with me as my "foster dog" - the first nickname he got was "Mr. Puppy." He earned his nickname when I realized that while he may have LOOKED like an adult dog at 90 pounds, everything else about him was pure puppy. 

My guess was that he was never allowed inside his previous home because he didn't know the first thing about being inside a house. Consequently, we had to start with the basics . . . potty training, simple commands (sit, down, stay), etc.  I also had to help him get comfortable with all the things he would encounter while living indoors.

He had obviously never encountered a mirror before because he would routinely go into the half-bath where the mirror came down to sink level. Standing with his chin resting on the sink counter, he would whimper (or bark) at the sight of another German shepherd in the house.  LOL  He didn't know how to go up and down stairs and he hadn't yet learned that counter-surfing was a no-no. He didn't get on the furniture, even when invited up. It was as if every single thing inside a house was a "first" for him.

I also described him as a 90 pound feral cat because he reacted much the same as a feral might when you attempted to touch him (which made grooming impossible, as well as cleaning his ears which were a necessity because he came out of the shelter with a horrendous ear infection). His reaction to everything was to try to bite you. Since he was pretty much an "adult dog" with "adult teeth" it wasn't quite like dealing with a puppy. He could do some serious damage with those big strong teeth of his. He didn't know how to take a treat from your hand without somehow biting your fingers/hand. 

Then there was the odd mixture of him not wanting to be touched yet also not wanting to let me out of his sight. He was literally on my heels and/or standing on top of my feet every time I moved. I can still remember how much my feet hurt that first month from constantly having him step on the tops of my feet. I had to stop wearing flip-flops inside the house because he put his foot inside my shoe each time I took a step. Since my foot wasn't moving with the rest of my body, I was lurched forward giving me a constant neck ache and throwing my back out of alignment. 

If I needed to go to the bathroom, he would follow me in there and then attempt to play tug of war with my underwear, WHILE they were still on my body. When I changed the sheets, he also thought it was an invitation to play tug of war with each sheet / blanket as I attempted to put them on the bed. 

It was all "puppy" but so much more challenging with his size and his high level of strength. In an attempted to be humored by these behaviors rather than irritated by them, I used his nickname more often than his real name. He was and will always be my "Mr. Puppy." 

Waking Up

I had to use an alarm to get up earlier this week, which brought up another round of grief for me. Since Kino and I had a special "arrangement" for the days I needed to use an alarm and this was the first time I had to do that without his assistance, I had to process another aspect of his absence.

Because of my sensitivity to energy, I don't have electronics in my bedroom and because of my sensitive nervous system, I try to avoid being woken up by any kind of jarring noise. Given all of that Kino and I partnered on how to wake me up when it was necessary for me to get up early.

For all these years, this is how it worked: I set the alarm on my phone (with a song instead of a beep) and then I'd leave the phone in the kitchen (which was the opposite end of the house from the bedroom). 

When the alarm went off, Kino heard it, not me. LOL What I WOULD hear was the pitter patter of his feet as he excitedly ran up and down the hall, followed by him licking my face. It was the sweetest way to wake up . . . so I wasn't looking forward to having to do it without him this morning.

When I set the alarm the night before (with a little bit of dread), I decided to plug the phone in closer to my bedroom so I was more likely to hear it. Fortunately, I WAS able to hear the music at my "wake up time" and much to my delight the song that played was Crystal Blue Persuasion. So instead of focusing on Kino's absence and having another wave of grief come through, I got to hear these lyrics instead (I think he had a hand/paw in this):

Look over yonder

What do you see?

The sun is a-rising

Most definitely

A new day is coming (ooh, ooh)

People are changing

Ain't it beautiful? (Ooh, ooh)

Crystal blue persuasion

Better get ready to see the light

Love, love is the answer (ooh, ooh)

And that's all right

So don't you give up now (ooh, ooh)

So easy to find

Just look to your soul (your soul)

And open your mind

Crystal blue persuasion, hmm, hmm

It's a new vibration

Crystal blue persuasion

Crystal

Blue persuasion

Middle Names

As those of you who have read my book know, Lucky got a middle name at the insistence of the precious kids we played with at the park all the time. (They even came up with a list of "suitable" possibilities for me to choose from.)  It was the first time I had ever given a pet a middle name but I rather liked finally being able to answer the question "What is Lucky's middle name?" - which I think every child we ever met asked me. haha

The funny thing is that it didn't dawn on me for years (after she officially became "Lucky Rose") that my great-grandmother on my mother's side was named Rose and my dad's sister in law was also named Rose. And my mom was known around the neighborhood as "The Rose Lady" because of her extensive rose garden . . . none of which the kids at the park knew. (Filed in the "Things that make you go Hmmm" folder)  

So, when I gave up my title as "foster mom" with Kino and officially became his adoptive mom, I knew right away that I would need to find just the right middle name for him.  

I didn't pick the name Kino - it was the name that was written on the paperwork when he was surrendered to the shelter. Since he already seemed to know his name I never considered changing it. I didn't know the origins of his name at the time but it reminded me of a couple boys I knew when I was younger named Kimo and they were both Hawaiian so I thought maybe we could find a Hawaiian middle name for him. 

I remember so vividly having Kino at my feet that day as I sat at the dining table with my laptop. After explaining that I wanted him to help me select his middle name, I pulled up a website of Hawaiian names and began reading them out loud. I read each possibility following his name so he could hear how they sounded together, in case that helped him make a choice.

After what felt like hours (but was probably more like 10 minutes - LOL), Kino still hadn't shown an indication that he liked any of the options. I wondered if maybe he didn't understand what we were doing so I explained once again that I wanted him to help me choose his middle name. About 5 minutes later, I said "Kino Kealohalani" and his head popped up, followed by extremely strong eye contact with me. I said, "Is that the one you like?" 

Wanting to be sure, I continued to read some other options from the list of Hawaiian names. Eventually I circled back to "Kino Kealohalani" and once again, boom!  He looked right at me and held his stare. I took that as confirmation that he had indeed just made his selection.

After looking into the name further, I learned that the name means "The brightness of heaven" or "The love from heaven." It is hard to describe the feeling I had when I saw the meaning of the name . . . it was like a confirmation that he was brought into my life for a reason and that I had made the right choice to become a "foster failure" and keep him. (Even though my choice to adopt him was less about falling in love with him and more about worrying he would be put down if he didn't have a super conscientious adopter because Kino had some aggression issues that if not properly managed could get him in a lot of trouble). 

Nonetheless, I DID end up falling in love with him and even though it was extra work over the years to make sure he was never in a situation where he could bite someone, I never regretted the choice I made. A big part of that was the meaning of his middle name, which many times over the years gave me goosebumps just thinking about it. He showed me countless times and in countless ways that he was my "Brightness and Love from heaven." 

The funny thing is, I didn't find out until later that it is typically a name for a girl but who was I to question Kino's choice.  :-)  I am sure he had a good reason for it. Years after that, while chatting with someone from Germany, I learned that Kino is actually the short form of "cinematography" (in German). It gave me quite a chuckle that his name was German not Hawaiian, yet it also feels divinely orchestrated that I didn't know any of that the day we chose his middle name. 

While Kino and I had a very different relationship than Lucky and I did, our connection and bond were just as strong. The significance of the things he came to teach me were just as important. The love we shared was just as powerful. I told him every night when we were getting ready for bed that he was my best friend in the whole world and I meant it with all of my heart every time I said it.

One of the many things he taught me was to love him (and myself) for who we WERE - not who we wished we could be or hoped we would be - to just fully embrace the idea that we deserved to be loved for exactly who we were. 

He also taught me about the importance of having JOY in my life. He made it his mission to bring me joy every day (his goofy antics could fill a book!) and I found myself constantly looking for ways to bring HIM joy as well. Even though our years together came with a long list of challenges, he never stopped finding ways to make me laugh. He was most definitely my little "Joy-Bringer."

My dear Kino Kealohalani, my brightness and love from heaven - I hope you know how much I love you and miss you! 

Kino Kealohalani Burkley - 7/13/2012 - 7/16/2024

My precious Kino made his transition on July 16, 2024.  It was 3 days after his 12th birthday. 

Currently, my feelings are too raw and I find it nearly impossible to write a post that truly honors my sweet boy. I will add to this post when I am able to. 

For now, I just wanted to share the news, as I know a lot of you know we have been trying to heal his cancer since last August. About 5 years ago, we were able to do it - this time we just couldn't - no matter how much we tried.

I am grateful for all the years I had with Kino. I learned so much from him and he completely won my heart over. Regardless of how rocky our start was, it was so worth it to have him as my partner in life.

I miss him more than I can express right now. Please hold us both in your hearts if you feel so inspired. 

Animals Do Get Mad

 

This is a blog I wrote almost fifteen years ago. I noticed that recently it has been getting a lot of views so there is something in here that people seem to be interested in. Thus, I am giving it a refresh and publishing it again - trusting that it will serve people in some way.

Sometimes people get confused about the emotional side of animals and have a difficult time squaring up all the different things we hear about what animals feel. They find that the things they believe about animals are occasionally in direct conflict with other things they believe about animals. 

One example of this is the belief that animals love unconditionally so people often assume that means they can't get mad. But the truth is animals DO get mad and for some people that doesn't seem to gel with the idea that animals are just happy all the time, happy to be with us, thrilled when we walk in the door (ok, maybe that isn't what everyone believes about cats) :-) but it's difficult sometimes to embrace the idea that if our animals feel, then they have the capacity to feel all the things we feel, and that includes being irritated or mad at times. 

I think the difference with animals is that they seem to get over it more quickly, forgive almost immediately. They don't hold grudges. They can be mad one moment and then be finished with the feeling. Often times all it takes is for someone to acknowledge their feelings or explain something to them and then they feel content again. I think that is why they are generally peaceful and happy. They may be irritated from time to time or get their feelings hurt, but they don't stay stuck there, as far as I can tell. 

But still, sometimes it's hard for us to believe that they get upset, especially if they are upset with us. Years ago when I was in the presence of another animal communicator, I was talking to her about my beliefs about animals and I said something about some breeds of dogs being smarter than other breeds. She stopped and said, "Lucky is upset with you for saying that" and I was thinking "What? Lucky's mad at me? How is that possible, with all the nice things I do for her. :-) It wasn't like I said German Shepherds are dumb."

The communicator told me that Lucky believed all animals are equally intelligent and that the only difference is in how they are labeled and treated. Since certain breeds are labeled as "more intelligent" they show more of their intelligence. Breeds that are labeled as "goofy" often act that way to appease our expectation. On a personal level, if they are treated like they are smart and will catch on quickly to things, then they usually do. If they are treated like they are dumb, they don't bother to let their intelligence shine through. She said Lucky was upset that I didn't realize that all animals were equally intelligent. 

I am happy to say I have learned a lot about animals since then and have since grown to share Lucky's belief. I'm embarrassed that I used to misunderstand animals that way. I don't even know where I learned that  but I'm just happy that I got "re-educated." While it took me a few days to wrap my mind around the idea that Lucky could be mad at me, it seemed to shift our whole relationship onto a new level. I saw her in a different light and was much more conscious of the things I said and how she reacted. It changed the way I looked at ALL animals and helped me understand the magnitude of what they were capable of. 

I continue to see evidence of other animals being upset and it still makes me smile, because it is a reminder of their emotional capacity and how much richer our relationships with animals can be when we more fully embrace the depth of their emotional experience. 

One time I was giving a dog a Reiki treatment and I asked her guardian how her birthday was because I knew some friends of hers were throwing a party for her at a park. Just then I could feel irritation from her dog. When I tuned in, what I got from the dog was that she was mad that she hadn't been able to go to the party. In her mind, since the party was at a park, she should have been able to go. When I told her guardian what I was picking up, she smiled and nodding in a "knowing" sort of way, letting me know she wasn't entirely surprised to hear her dog was upset. She explained that this particular park didn't allow dogs. At first I felt resistance from her dog and could sense she didn't believe her guardian because she believed dogs were allowed at all parks as long as they were on leash and well behaved. Her guardian explained to her that this particular park didn't allow dogs because there were a lot of deer and other wildlife . . . while her guardian was saying this, I felt contentment run through her dog's body. She heard what her guardian said, she understood it and she was no longer mad about being left at home when her mom went to the park for her party. 

Sometimes animals get irritated because there is a change in the home and no one bothered to give them a heads up about it. It could be the arrival of a new animal, the departure of a family member, or where their bed got moved. Animals just want us to explain things to them. Once we do, they are content again. 

I have worked with many animals who were having "behavioral problems" that started once a new animal was brought into the household. Usually, all it takes is for their guardian and I to acknowledge their feelings and explain how things are going to be different or the same now that the new animal is there, and miraculously the "behavior problems" go away. As I said, they can "get over things" quickly once someone acknowledges their feelings and helps them understand what is going on. 

Our animals also get mad at us sometimes or feel let down if we aren't taking care of ourselves or we're letting other people hurt us. They don't stay mad, but they certainly have feelings about it. 

I had a client whose cat was sick so I was giving her frequent Reiki treatments. One particular day, I could feel anger coming from the cat, which I had never picked up before. I asked her guardian what had been going on around the house, and at first, he wasn't offering up much. The sense I got was that someone was being taken advantage of but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Finally, her guardian told me that his girlfriend hadn't been treating him very well lately and he admitted he wasn't doing anything about it. Finally, the pieces fell into place and I explained that his cat was upset that he wasn't standing up for himself and that she would prefer if he didn't let the girlfriend walk all over him anymore. His reaction was a mixture of gratitude, amusement and disbelief. Months later, after the girlfriend had moved out, he confessed to me that he was still stunned (and very touched) that his cat cared that much about how he was being treated. 

This leads to another interesting thing about the work I do. I am usually contacted initially to help an animal, but the majority of the time, the guardian ends up getting help as well. I probably coach the humans as much as I communicate with the animals. Typically, I partner with the guardians to help the animals, and I partner with the animals to help the guardians . . . and it makes the work I do even more gratifying. 

If you aren't already embracing the depth of your animal's emotional capacity, I hope you will consider moving in that direction. There is so much we can learn from animals if we're willing to "listen" to them, observe them and give them credit for all they have to offer us.

Can We Be Kinder To Ourselves?

 In my humble opinion, one of the most beautiful gifts our animals can give us is to assist us in building our "kindness muscle" - although it is a gift that goes far wider and deeper than we may think. From what I have learned from my animal clients, while the first piece may be in how we treat THEM, the true gift is how we then transfer that kindness to ourselves. 

This is probably one of the biggest things I have seen play out consistently since I began working with animals. Animals are frequently asking their guardians to treat themselves as well as they treat their animals.

It makes you wonder . . . how kind are we to ourselves? Have you ever stopped and really thought about it? What do you consider "kind" acts towards yourself? Is it buying yourself something new? Taking a bubble bath? What does "kindness" look like when you are being kind to yourself? 

When I ask this question of my clients, they are usually a bit stumped . . . as most of us don't think in terms of how we can show ourselves kindness. Our focus is so often outside of ourselves - showing kindness to others (whether it is our pets, our neighbors, our friends, strangers, wildlife etc). Time and time again, I see guardians who will do anything for their animals (whether it is ensuring they get adequate exercise or have access to the healthiest food possible or advocating for their animals physical and emotional well being, etc). Most guardians would do anything to ensure that their pets are healthy, happy and feel safe - and yet, they don't treat themselves with that same level of care and concern. 

Why is that? Why are we willing to take better care of our pets than ourselves? (I see this play out with people and their two-legged children too - so it is not just animals)  Is it because we don't believe we deserve it? Do we think their health and well-being is more important than ours? Do we feel it is selfish to take care of ourselves? 

I believe we ALL deserve to be healthy and happy. We all deserve to feel seen, heard and well cared for. I believe that being kind to ourselves opens the door for us to more easily be kind to others. When we "fill our cup" so to speak, we have more to give. On top of that, when we are being kind to ourselves, we are "modeling" how we would like others to treat us. (And it also helps us see more clearly when we are not being treated with that same level of kindness by others).

So my questions to you are: Where are you doing more for others than you are doing for yourself? (not just your "children" - for everyone in your life) What can you do to bring things into balance? (i.e. being as kind to yourself as you are to everyone else?) How can you show more kindness to yourself? 

A simple exercise you could try, in addition to asking yourself the questions above is get a blank piece of paper and write out all the kind things you do for others - a couple examples are maybe you stop to allow a car to enter a busy street from a side business or you let the person behind you go ahead of you at the check out lane when you notice they only have 1-2 times and you have quite a few more. Maybe you have brought food to a friend or neighbor or helped a neighbor look for their lost cat or dog. Are there times you have offered words of encouragement to someone who was feeling down or discouraged? List all of them out - everything that comes to mind. I have a feeling this list will quickly become quite long as you allow yourself to think about it.

After you write down all the ways you are kind to others, write a list of all the kind things you do for yourself. You might be surprised at what you see (or not). Are the lists equal? Not that they have to be equal but are they even close? 

Next, look for a few things you could put on your "for myself" list. (You can use the "kind to others" list to get inspiration or give some thought to things like how you speak to yourself, how compassionate are you towards yourself when you are having a tough day, where do you fall on your priority list? Can you find some opportunities to move yourself up a bit higher?) 

I don't think you will regret being kinder to yourself. I would love to hear what you have decided to start doing for yourself that is "kind" so feel free to share in the comments. 

Grateful For Companies That Strive to Do Better

Last week a good friend of mine sent me a present to brighten my day. Kino has always loved to over-participate in the opening of packages - LOL - typically slobbering and leaving nose drips all over the outside of the box and then cramming his nose into the box and rooting around before I even have a chance to remove the contents. 

Given that he is having so much trouble standing up these days, I thought it would be nice if I sat down on the floor with him and opened the package there so he could "participate" in the unveiling. As expected, he was super excited to see what we got and was reacting his "usual" way - which I think brought me as much joy as he was feeling himself in that moment. 

While I was admiring the beautiful scented candle we had received, Kino continued to root around inside the box. I thought he was just enjoying the smells inside the box but then I heard him chewing something. Much to my chagrin, I realized he was enjoying a "packing peanut snack" and my attempts to get them out of his mouth went over as well as it always has when I have tried to fish something out of his mouth. Lots of growling followed by his success at swallowing what was in his mouth as quickly as possible, whether it had been chewed or not. 

It immediately reminded of our early days together when I was just "fostering" Kino. He had a bizarre fascination with my ear plugs and he ate probably 10 pairs of them before I figure out what to store them in on my bedside table to keep them safe. Giggling, I recalled the mischievous look he would get right as he remembered he hadn't yet eaten the earplugs that day. 

In my mind, I could still see images of us both making a beeline for the bedside table, with me diving onto / across my bed in an attempt to get there first, like a hero detective on a TV show . . .  sliding across the hood of a car to catch the bad guy. LOL  And somehow, Kino always got there first. 

I used (and still use) the neon pink and yellow earplugs from the drug store so seeing them the next morning while cleaning up poop was a horrific sight the first couple times and slightly less disturbing as time went on but still . . . not the most pleasant of sights. LOL

I knew they always came out so in an attempt to be as chill as possible, I just made up my mind to be prepared to see packing peanuts the next morning and I did my best to enjoy the giggle I got being reminded of our early days together. 

Yet after three days, there was still no sign of the packing peanuts and I began to get a little concerned. Why hadn't they been "processed" yet? Deciding it was time to do a little research on packing peanuts, I discovered, much to my delight, that the packing peanut manufacturers have been doing what they can to improve their product and have found a way to make biodegradable ones! Seeing this brought about a deep sigh of relief. 

Here is what I found: (and fortunately they had pictures of "old school" peanuts vs. the biodegradable ones so I could confirm Kino had indeed eaten the "new and improved" packing peanuts.)

Can You Eat Biodegradable Packing Peanuts?

People often wonder if you can eat biodegradable packing peanuts. The answer is, yes, dissolvable packing peanuts are completely edible and non-toxic. If a pet or small child (or anyone who’s curious) gets their hands on one, there’s no need to worry. Biodegradable packing peanuts are 100% safe to ingest, by accident or otherwise.

Feeling my body relax at what I read, I couldn't help but think of one of my most favorite Maya Angelou quotes: "When we know better, we do better." It made me happy to know the packing peanut manufacturers were doing their part to "do better." I smiled as I imagined that it might be possible for all companies to figure out how to do what they do in a way that is less harmful - to people, to animals and to the environment. 

Then I went even further with my imagination and thought how cool it would be if companies just did it on their own - not because the government passed a law or threatened them with a fine or something along those lines. How wonderful would it be if all companies cared enough and had enough integrity to figure out how to do what they do with the least amount of harm to ALL. How fabulous would it be if the phrase "We've always done it this way" was replaced with "Lets figure out how to do it better" and if the notion of "Seeing what they can get away with" was replaced with "Challenging themselves to do no harm." What if they were driven not by how much profit they could make but how much they could help people AND the environment while making their product.

A girl can dream right? 

For now, I am happy to know that I don't have to stress out if I find Kino enjoying another packing peanut snack. 

I feel grateful for people who do things to lift the spirits of others and even more grateful that I have some of these people in my life. 

And I feel gratitude towards companies who care enough to pay attention to these types of things . . . and make the choice to use the biodegradable peanuts to ship their products. :-) 

Lucky's Journey (in pictures)

I am often fascinated to see what old blog posts of mine are being accessed. Today I noticed that this one popped up. Clearly, someone was digging deep in the archives to find this one, as it is from June of 2009. It is basically a high-level story of Lucky's life, told with pictures.

It was so fun for ME to read it again and I couldn't stop smiling as I looked at all the pictures. I thought I'd re-post it, as others may enjoy reading/seeing some of the highlights of Lucky's life when she was here. (and at least 1/2 of these little highlights didn't end up making it into the book so it made it even sweeter to see them all again)

I hope you enjoy it! If you do and you haven't read my book yet, maybe it will inspire you to buy my book and give it a read.  :-) 

Here is a link to the blog:

https://healinganimaltruths.blogspot.com/2009/06/luckys-journey.html

Here is a link to where you can purchase my book:

https://riversanctuarypublishing.com/shop/lucky-for-me/

Animals Can Teach Us About Kindness and Trust

I originally wrote portions of this blog in 2009 . . . The other day, I noticed that it was getting traction again so thought parts of it were worth a re-post. I feel even more strongly than ever that animals deserve so much respect for all they do to teach us while they are here.

Here is it - I hope you enjoy! 

If you read my blog regularly, you know how much I appreciate it when people are kind to one another and kind to animals. As a witness to so much of this kindness, I wanted to share a few of these stories in the hopes that you will be as touched as I have been.

My first story is about animals treating each other with kindness and how important it is to pay attention to what they are telling us. 

I went to one of my client's houses to give Reiki to her cat, Misha. (Yes, this is 2009 when I did all my work in person)  :-) Misha was older and had been dealing with some health issues, so she was getting periodic Reiki treatments to help her stay strong. When I arrived at their house, Misha was laying on the couch where she usually was for her Reiki treatments, and snuggled next to her on the couch was another of my client's cats, Sweet Pea. 

I said hello to them both and then prepared to start working on Misha, when all of the sudden Misha got up and walked to the other side of the couch and sat down. It seemed odd but I moved over to her new position and started to put my hands on her when again she got up and moved - this time back to where she had been sitting before. I was talking to their guardian while this was going on and wasn't paying close enough attention to what Misha was telling me. As I moved back over to where Misha was sitting, I tuned in and heard what she was telling me . . . she felt that Sweet Pea needed the treatment more than she did. 

After telling their guardian what I was picking up, I asked if it was OK with her if we added in some energy work with Sweet Pea on my visit that day. She told me she had wanted to talk to me about Sweet Pea anyway, as she hadn't seemed herself the last few days, so she was happy to have me offer her some energy and see what was going on with her. While I was working with Sweet Pea, Misha just sat there, contently watching us, pleased that I had listened to her and happy that her "sister" was getting the help she needed. 

I had the thought when I first got there . . . that there was a reason Sweet Pea was laying in the "Reiki spot" when I arrived, as it is something she had never done before when I came to work with Misha, but since my appointment was with Misha, I didn't pay enough attention to what I was sensing. Fortunately, Misha was determined to get me to "hear" what I needed to hear.

After about forty minutes of soaking up the energy, Sweet Pea got up from the couch and went into the other room. Immediately, Misha got up and laid down on the couch in front of me. She was telling me that now it was OK for me to give her Reiki. :-)

I was so touched by her kindness, the way she was looking out for her "sister" and making sure she got the help she needed. It was so selfless, so generous, so protective. I was in awe of her, even though I know I shouldn't have been surprised. Animals are so loving and so loyal. It's not something they have to learn, it's just who they are. 

Another beautiful example - also from 2009:  A few weeks ago, I came home to find a message on my machine that warmed my heart to the core. It was a message from an older gentleman I had met more than a year earlier telling me he wanted to give me a book he had read as a thank you for teaching him that he could talk to animals. He said there was a part in this book called “Wesley the Owl,” that made him think of me and what I had taught him. He really wanted me to have the book and I was touched on so many levels.

This man wasn’t a client or someone I had extensive interactions with. We just had one seemingly random conversation but that conversation had obviously impacted him greatly. It was so important to him that he make contact with me that he tracked me down through the vet office I used to work at and was able to get my contact information through them.

As I thought back, I could recall our conversation vividly. He was such a kind man. You could just feel the gentleness of his soul when you were standing next to him. I remember he had told me that there was a feral cat that had been living in his yard for some time. He had been putting out food and fresh water for her every day for ages and while she was obviously content to live there outside his house, she still wouldn’t let anyone come near her. He told me he had noticed in recent weeks that she was no longer eating and that she was losing a lot of weight. He was worried about her and he wanted to get her help but he didn’t know how he’d ever get her to the vet, given how afraid she was of humans.

I could see the sadness and the worry in his eyes. I could feel how much it hurt him to feel so helpless to come to her aid. I remember telling him that he could try talking to her, that he could explain why he was worried about her and ask if she would trust him to take her to a place where she could get some help to feel better. I remember he looked at me oddly, which didn’t surprise me because a lot of people look at me that way when I tell them they can talk to animals, but then he said, “Really?  I can talk to her and she’ll understand?”

I explained to him that while feral cats are slightly more difficult to communicate with, as they haven’t been exposed to as much vocabulary as an indoor cat, I believed that they can understand if we use more simple words. I also told him I believed animals can feel what is in our hearts, so if he focused on his desire to help her, she would feel that too.

Our paths never crossed again and hadn't thought about it over the next year. When I listened to his message, I could sense that his desire to give me the book was so genuine and sincere, I made a point to meet him at his house the next day to accept the book he was offering me. When I got there, I immediately felt the gentleness of his soul again and I was so glad he had found a way to get in contact with me. After a brief discussion about the book, he told me what happened after we had spoken that day.

He said he went home and talked to her, explaining what he wanted to do and why. Much to his delight, he discovered that she did hear him and understand him. And much to his surprise, she did allow him to pick her up and put her into the cat carrier so he could take her to the vet. He told me he never would have thought it was possible but clearly it was and he was so happy that he was able to bring her to see someone and not feel helpless to support her anymore.  He added that it was really important that he let me know he had learned something very important from me that day, that I had changed the way he thought about animals.

As we were standing in his front yard, I looked around and then said “Is she still here?” and he said, 

“No, that’s the sad part of the story, even though she trusted me to bring her to the vet, they weren’t able to make her well. I did everything they suggested but I could never get her to eat again.” 

He went on to tell me that several weeks later, as her condition grew worse and he knew she was in increased pain, he asked her if she'd like him to bring her back to the vet to help her get out of her body . . . and once again, she allowed him to put her in the carrier and take her to the vet one last time.

As my eyes welled up with tears, I told him how sorry I was. She had obviously meant a great deal to him and it made me so sad to think he lost her after all of that. But he had a different take on it entirely.  

He seemed genuinely touched that he had learned that animals could understand him when he spoke to them.  As I could feel his gratitude, another thought washed through me, and it was this . . . because he took a chance and talked to the cat, even though it didn’t result in a prolonged life, what it did do was give them both an opportunity to trust, which I believe was a gift to both of them. 

In her final weeks, she learned it was safe to trust someone and I know it meant a great deal to her, to feel the love and respect that he had for her. For him, this sweet older gentleman, I know it made him feel good to know he was able to help her, even if it was ultimately to help her make her transition. 

And for me, I was touched beyond words to know that a casual conversation I had with a stranger ended up giving both this cat and this loving man an opportunity to have the experience they had. It was a sweet reminder for me that I shouldn't be shy about sharing what I believe to be true about animals, even with strangers.

Sometimes You Just Need to Laugh

This is one of those things that is sad but it's actually pretty funny as well so everyone reading this has my full permission to just enjoy the laugh and not feel sorry for me.  :-) 

A couple nights ago I was having a tough time . . . Kino's legs were weaker than usual and I was trying to get a harness on him and get him outside to go potty before he had an accident in the house - but *I* was having trouble providing the support he needed. My lower back was really sore and weak which made it harder to hold him up. His back legs kept slipping and sliding out from under him, like he was doing the splits, which made it even more challenging to not trip over his legs. I was doing my best not to step on his feet / legs and not fall down myself but it was extra hard that night. 

Reaching a place of overwhelm, I began to cry . . . feeling in that moment like I didn't have it in me to keep doing this. As we were fumbling our way to the door, I grabbed what I thought was a kleenex from the table to stick up my nose. (FYI: I have taken to just sticking kleenex up my nose lately because I cry a lot - both good tears when something has really touched my heart and sad tears when I feel overwhelmed with what Kino and I are going through and I have been experiencing both of those reasons for tears with more intensity lately. Since constantly wiping my nose makes the skin chaffed and sore, it is easier sometimes to just stick a kleenex up my nose.)  LOL

Once I had secured the kleenex in place, we managed to make it the final stretch out the door and even though we were still slipping and sliding, I was doing my best to hold it together for both of our sakes, especially because we were going out the FRONT door. 

We can get to grass much quicker in the front yard, which provides more traction than concrete so he often opts for the front yard - thus having kleenex shoved up my nose was a bit of a "risk" but a risk I was willing to take because I was actively crying and generating a lot more snot and didn't have a free hand to be able to deal with all that. It was getting dark so I hoped no one would be walking past the house at that exact moment and see me looking like such a hot mess.

Once we were outside was when I noticed that the "kleenex" wasn't feeling too good. It was rough and scratchy and hurting the inside of my nose and I was also getting a strong scent . . . I couldn't put my finger on it because I was so focused on trying to keep Kino standing yet I knew it was a familiar scent. I was sure I didn't have any scented kleenex or toilet paper in the house so I was confused. With all that was going on I didn't have a free hand to pull the tissue back out of my nose, so I was forced to leave it there until I got him safely back inside. 

Well, as we were stumbling back into the house it hit me. I had accidentally shoved a used DRYER SHEET up my nose!!  Clearly it says a thing or two about the limit to my current house keeping skills if I have used kleenex AND used dryer sheets laying around - LOL - but it made me laugh so hard!  And it was just what I needed to shift my mood in that moment - from feeling overwhelmed to feeling amused. 

Every time I think about it, it makes me laugh all over again. Oh my goodness - if someone had seen me, we might have been photographed for some kind of social media group that shares pictures of "scary / crazy people around the neighborhood."  LOL  

Anyway, I hope it gives everyone who reads this a bit of a giggle too. Just know that if you have rough moments or rough hours or even rough days, you aren't alone and it's OK. A lot of us are going through these ups and downs - especially those of us who are really sensitive to energy. 

This post is meant to encourage you to hang in there and let yourself have a laugh when you can. Sure, it's more fun to laugh at something outside of us - like a funny TV show or video or a good comedian but these days I will take the "funny" in any way it is available. :-) 

ps: I shared this story with a good friend of mine and once she stopped laughing, she DID express curiosity about the used dryer sheets laying on tables, so here is a quick answer to that in case anyone else is wondering. 

Here by the beach, in an old rental house, everything has a bit of a mildew scent - which is NOT a pleasant way for your clothes and linens to smell. Therefore, I place used dryer sheets in drawers, closets, etc. all the time in an attempt to keep things smelling a little better. AND with Kino being in the condition he is in, I frequently drop everything I am doing in order to help him (i.e. if he falls down or gets himself stuck somewhere). 

Therefore, I am only successful at getting from the laundry area to some mildew smelling location in the house about 50% of the time. The other 50%, I drop the used dryer sheet on the closest surface because my priority in that moment has shifted to Kino. Between that and the frequent tears . . . you can hopefully understand why there might be kleenex AND used dryer sheets laying about the house.  LOL