Don't Stop Believing in Humanity

When I was in college, I was on the rowing team. Practice was at 5am, which was brutal enough but the closer it got to finals and the later into the evening I had to study, the harder it was to get my sleep deprived body up with that morning alarm. One particular morning, I woke up to see I had less than 5 minutes to get myself dressed and to the bus stop around the corner where our team bus picked up those of us in the surrounding dorms. I don't know if I forgot to set the alarm or if I set it and slept through it - all I knew is that I had to get MOVING. I managed to get sweats on, several layers of shirts and my socks when I heard the sound of the bus down the street. 

Grabbing my jacket and my tennis shoes, I went running out of my dorm room, flying down the steps outside hoping to make it in time. Luck wasn't on my side, as the bus pulled away from the curb before I could even make it across the grass in front of my dorm. The thing was I HAD to be at practice. Coach had been very clear - if we missed a practice that week, we would not be able to participate in the Regatta that weekend - so I needed to get to practice. Running behind the bus, I screamed and wildly waved my right arm, while my left hand clutched my tennis shoes and my jacket. There was half melted snow on the ground so my wool socks were quickly becoming very wet and very heavy but I refused to let that slow me down. I just kept running . . . yet when I heard Fr. Siconolfi shift the bus into a higher gear, I could feel my heart sink. There was no way I'd catch the bus now.

Just then a man pulled up in a small blue truck. He rolled down the passenger window (which he had to do by hand - this was in the 80's after all) and yelled "Do you need to catch that bus?" Gasping for air, all I could do was nod my head yes, so he opened the door from the inside and motioned for me to get in. Diving into the front seat of his truck, we were on the move before I had even pulled the door all the way closed. He quickly shared that his sons had played football and he knew how important it was to never miss a practice. 

I'm pretty sure he ignored all the posted speed limit signs as we flew down the road, making a hard left, then a hard right at the next corner. We were then on the two-lane straight part of the road. I remember this kind man had a cup of coffee in a paper cup wedged between his legs so he could keep shift gears to keep pace with the bus and I also recall having a moment of worry that it was going to spill on him. 

Fortunately for me, he seemed as determined as I was to not have me miss practice so he did his best to stay lined up with the bus. Continuing to flail my arms wildly while yelling to get his attention, Father Siconolfi remained oblivious to the girl hanging out the window of the small blue truck. Fortunately one of my teammates, in their hazy sleep deprived state, finally noticed me and got him to pull over. Quickly thanking the man, I grabbed my tennis shoes and jacket and made a beeline for the bus. 

Over the years whenever I shared this story, hoping people would understand why I believed in the good side of humanity (and why I loved Spokane so much), most of the time they didn't get it. The part that most people latched onto was that "I got into a stranger's truck." They responded with things like "He could have been a serial killer" and "Maureen you are just way too trusting." (Geez, what if I was the serial killer? He would have been the one putting his life in danger by stopping to help me!!) LOL

I have continued to share the story though - in an attempt to illustrate my belief that there are wonderful people everywhere - people who are willing to lend a hand . . . showing up when we need them most and going the extra mile. At times we may have to pay more attention to notice these genuine acts of kindness but they are out there and they are in more places than we see reported on mainstream media. 

I have thought of the kindness of this man so many times in the last thirty some odd years and I still feel so much gratitude for his help that day. What he did for ME has inspired me over the years to keep showing up for others. Sometimes when my faith in humanity wobbles a bit, all I have to do is pull up the memory of that morning and I am instantly reconnected with the remembrance that there are people like him all over the world. 

My only regret from that morning was that I never got his name so I was not able to thank him properly or as profusely as my heart wanted to. So this post has three purposes:

1) To encourage people to look for the good in humanity. If you take the time to look, you will see examples and it will likely result in you noticing even more of the ways people are showing up for each other. (And let's face it, how can that not put a smile on your face and in your heart.)

2) To inspire people to stay open to the opportunities where they can show up for others and be the illustration of the goodness that exists in the world. You may never know how many ripples of kindness it will create yet I have seen evidence time and again where someone's act of kindness inspired someone else to do something kind. We have the power to make our humanity a force to be reckoned with.

3) That someone who lived in Spokane back in the 80s might know a man who drove a small blue truck and would have been on his way to work at 5:00 in the morning, who has sons who played football. My hope is that by some miracle he will somehow end up seeing this because it would make me so very happy if he knew how grateful I was and still am for his help that morning and how much he has inspired me over the years. The funny thing is that I don't think we even did all that well in the Regatta that weekend but I got to be there and I got to row because thanks to him I didn't miss practice that morning. 

If you feel moved to share actions - either witnessed or done by you - that have restored your faith in humanity, please feel free to write about them in the comments. I'd love to see them and I bet others would too. 

ps: I keep thinking about the movie Powder (1995) and how a line in the movie gave me such huge goosebumps that I wrote it on a post-it note and placed it on the refrigerator so I would see it every day (and it was there for decades). If I recall correctly, Jeff Goldblum's character said something like "My hope is that one day our humanity will surpass our technology." That was and still is something I hope to experience as well and I truly believe that we have the ability to create it.

Give Yourself Permission to Just Be You

From the beginning of my career, I had a bit of trouble fitting-in to the corporate world. I guess I wasn’t good at “playing the part” because I longed to be me, to be valued for who I was and what I brought to the “party.” I was also a people-pleasers so I constantly felt the push and pull between those two sides of the spectrum – feeling like no matter what choice I made, it wouldn’t be the “right” choice.

Early in my 20s, I was told I should never wear heels when I taught a workshop and that I should sit down as much as possible because at 5’11” I was apparently too intimidating. I was also told I needed to invest in wool gabardine slacks, some high neck blouses and a string of pearls. How was that going to improve the experience of the participants if I was dressed like my grandmother? Why wasn’t it ok for me to just be ME?

When I went into consulting, I was told I should wear long sleeves and pants because companies wouldn’t want to hire a consultant with a tan. Apparently having a tan would suggest I was charging too much or not working hard enough – but I had decided to be a consultant in part because having a work/life balance was really important to me. If walking on the beach or hiking on sunny trails helped me be more present and energized when I was working with clients, why should that be hidden? I found it especially confusing when these were companies claiming that a strong work/life balance was part of their culture or mission. Over the years, peers questioned my use of humor and my willingness to share my own vulnerability while I was working with clients, suggesting that it wasn’t “professional.” I saw how my approach helped my clients feel comfortable opening up and engaging more deeply in what we were doing (whether it was a class or a session I was facilitating or someone I was coaching) so I didn’t want to stop making them laugh or sharing my vulnerabilities. I didn’t want to stop bringing “me” to the table. 

 

Before I left the corporate world, I was chastised for not having glitzy enough graphics and animation in my presentations. I was told that training participants wanted to be entertained and to feel that I was relatable. Since most of my clients were in the tech world, I was told I needed to use more technology in my presentations. Yet I was less interested in the presentation portion of the workshops I taught or sessions I facilitated as I felt it was more important to get folks engaged in the material. To me, group exercises and discussions where they could really work with the material and get a sense of how to USE the concepts I was sharing once they were back at work seemed more important. Many companies were more interested in meeting their goals for the quarter, which were often about the # of employees they put through training and how many them were “happy” with the training or the # of off-site meetings the manager held. What mattered to me was what the employees were able to do AFTER the session – once they were back at work. Were they able to implement the concepts we worked with? Or were they encountering roadblocks because of broken processes and people issues that were higher up the chain? That was what I cared about yet it was where the disconnect often was. It was confusing to me when companies would spend so much money on training or off-sites but not care as much about what employees were able to do with it afterward.

 

I’m not complaining or trying to shame anyone for the unsolicited “advice” I received or the lack of alignment I felt. I’m just offering up a few examples of how sometimes it is difficult to fit into a mold or play a part that doesn’t feel totally aligned with who we truly are. Was I a fit for every client? No and I didn’t expect to be. What I did want was opportunities to work with companies and individuals who were in alignment with how I wanted to show up in the corporate world. 

 

Fortunately when I do dip my toes back into the corporate world, it is because I have found individuals and companies that accept me for me and value what I have to offer. I have met executives who really want to know what the roadblocks are to their employees being as effective as possible. I have had the great fortune of working with a few executives who jump right in and start removing those roadblocks, whether it is fixing a process or addressing a people issue that is keeping their employees from being fully empowered in their jobs.

 

So why am I sharing this? I am offering it up for folks to consider because if there is one thing I have learned as I have gotten older is that there is nothing wrong with being ourselves. I believe that WHO each of us are individually is truly our gift to the world. It is where our value lies and where our greatest and strongest contributions can be made. 

I recognize that not everyone is plagued with the same issues I was but for those who are – if you happen to be someone who is feeling the pull between being YOU and fitting in, I hope you might feel inspired to bring more of the real you to the table. I also offer encouragement to not be afraid to step outside the box and be yourself. There is a wonderful feeling of freedom that comes when we allow ourselves to drop the mold we are trying to fit ourselves into and bring more of our true selves to the table! 

The Things I Knew At Sixteen

While going through some boxes this week, I found a folder with some old school papers in it.  I had saved a couple of poems I wrote in a creative writing class, which surprised me because I never thought poetry was my thing (I only remember getting really hung up on needing everything to rhyme)  LOL 

My jaw dropped when I discovered that back in high school (umm, about 40 years ago) I was writing about things that I've pretty much spent the last 4 decades learning/re-learning. While I was tickled to see that I had a little more insight at the age of 16 than I recall, it did kind of explain why I never felt like I "fit in" when I was young. My head and my heart always seemed to be some place else - some far away place that didn't make sense to others. Thought I'd share the poems here . . . not because they are GREAT poems but because the content has a fair amount of wisdom and interestingly enough, they seem quite fitting for the times we're in. 

Inner Peace

Maybe it's that eagerness that never seems to cease, always searching high and low for that inner peace.

Unsure at times of what it is, with all of the confusion. Ringing bells and hurried schedules are offenders of intrusion.

Early morning til late night it always is the same. Everyone in such a rush, playing that competitive game.

No one taking the time to stop and smell a pretty flower. People seem to be keyed in on only gaining power.

At times I want to make the world stop for just a minute - to appreciate this world of ours and all the marvelous things in it.

Receiving is all we ever do and no one wants to give. If only we could open up, there'd be more of a reason to live.

Crowds of people everywhere and all those people need love. If only they would care some more instead of push and shove.

Anticipating a change in us, that could make us share some more, because unless this change occurs, inner peace I can never explore.

Until the day comes when we have time for each other, retentive thoughts will linger on and I won't run for cover.

Keeping in mind that inner peace is my greatest need, learning early on in life that that's what others plead.

Everything I do in life will be reaching towards a new way. Yesterday it was inner peace, now it's that everyone reaches inner peace too some day.

Windows To The World

Windows to the world are what we're looking through - though clouded windows won't always do.

Who knows if what we find is true. Always mixed with emotion, people always blue.

Seeing is believing, as some people say. Yet for those who cannot see, what is the price they pay?

Knowing is to get a better view, but what about those who never get a clue.

Touching - we are moving toward the things we feel. Remember, love isn't something we can steal.

Trying to be what we could never be. Accepting ourselves for who we are is the real key.

Turning, if we'd only open up our hearts. Making attempts but they are all false starts.

Yearning for the things we cannot see. If we could be patient, they would come to be.

For the windows to the world aren't opened all the way. If we stay open, maybe we'll understand it all some day.

Empowering Pet Parents

Clients often ask me if I can tell them why something is going on with their pet. I wish it were that simple - that I could ask a pet "What is making you so itchy?" or "Why have you been throwing up lately?" and then relay their answer to their guardian.  Since animals don't communicate that way, it is often up to us - their guardians - to answer those questions. You might be surprised to know that keeping track of changes we've made (regarding food, treats, medication/supplements as well as life changes, schedule changes, etc) will give us more information than we thought possible.

I learned this myself many years ago when all of the sudden Lucky had a ton of hot spots. She was itchy and uncomfortable all the time. My vet asked me if there had been changes to her food or treats and my answer was "No." In my mind, nothing had changed so we couldn't figure out what could have caused this sudden bout of severe itchiness. Then one day while at the pet store, I decided to grab another bag of the treats I gave her and was stunned to realize that there were two different brands right next to each other on the shelf. The shape and size of the treats were identical and the bags were even the same color. Could I had accidentally bought her a different type of treat the last time I made a purchase? Sure enough that ended up being the culprit. Here I was swearing up and down that NOTHING had changed, when the truth was, I had accidentally bought a different treat and since I opened the bag up and poured them into the "treat jar" I hadn't seen the packaging since the day I bought them.  (On the plus side, that was when we determined that Lucky had an allergic reaction to corn). 

I learned a lot in the years Lucky was with me and thankfully, I can pass those insights along to my clients. For instance, I have had countless dogs suddenly become "deaf" - my clients assume it's an old age thing but often inquire if a Reiki session could help with that. This is a situation I am so familiar with that I always ask "Did your dog have ear mites anytime in the last 6 months?" The answer is YES about 80% of the time. The reason I ask that question is because I learned through my OWN experience that the treatment (drops that you put in their ear canal) can often leave a thin coating on the ear drum. This results in the dog not being able to hear as well and in most cases, using an ear wash will "restore the dog's hearing." 

The "hearing loss" isn't usually noticed immediately so by the time we're at the "I think my dog is deaf" stage, we've long forgotten about that brief period of ear mite treatment that occurred months earlier. So much time can pass that it won't ever occur to us that the two things are related. 

As Lucky got older and had more health issues, it was harder and harder to keep track of how long something had been going on, as it seemed my answer to that was "just recently" or "for quite a while" whenever our vet asked me questions about the timing of things. That was when I learned to keep my own "Pet Journal."

Recently I had a client who was very concerned about her dog's seizures and she wanted to know if I could tell her what was causing them. I explained to her that her dog wouldn't be able to tell me the cause but reminded her that she had more knowledge than she thought she did. I suggested she start keeping a journal/diary for her dog. She said she already kept track of food changes and medication/supplement changes in her calendar so I asked her if she could also start writing down everything else she was observing. Whether it was behavioral or medical or just seemingly random small things.

So often the "answer" can lie in our ability to observe (and keep track) of seemingly unrelated or unimportant things . . . there is real "gold" there if we can take the time to jot all those details down. Things like crankiness, sleeping a little more, a random potty accident could actually line up with random things that aren't obvious at first. I also find clients change things between visits to their vet (or sessions with me) and they have trouble remembering when they stopped giving their pet a certain supplement (and why) or when certain behavioral things began happening.

It is the reason that I often suggest that animal guardians start keeping a diary for their pets (especially with all my older pets) because a) it's nearly impossible to remember every detail or know what details are important and which ones aren't. and b) because animals often "show us" what's going on through these seemingly small and/or unrelated things. Yes, it does mean that I talk about 50% of the people who come to me for a session OUT of having a session - LOL - but I would much rather support people in finding the answers themselves whenever possible.  

And I love getting their updates when they have figured something out on their own. From the dog who was having issues with itchiness (Her mom determined it was the laundry detergent she was using to wash her dog's bedding and hadn't previously noticed that the itching got worse every time she "washed all the dog bed covers") to the client whose dog had "random potty accidents" who determined that they actually occurred on the day she returned from a business trip). The animal guardians I work with are becoming more and more empowered to find important information this way. Always remember: you have more knowledge of what is happening with your pet than you realize!! 

The other reason this type of information can be helpful is when I DO have a session with an animal, I am able to tap in more specifically to what the guardian has been able to put together. Partnering WITH the guardian almost always ensures a better and/or quicker resolution. 

For example, when a guardian needed help with her cat who had suddenly started vomiting . . . since she was able to tell me exactly what her cat, who was on a raw food diet, was eating for breakfast each day, I was able to pick up on the fact that it was too many different proteins. Plus I got a feeling of queasiness that I get when I eat food that is too rich. Based on that she decided to cut back on the # of different proteins each day and also cut out the ones that were a little more rich. Kitty barfing was resolved!!! 

With another client, being able to share specifics from his journal about when his dog jumped the fence and how often it happened along with what other things were occurring in his life at the time, helped us determine that it WASN'T a negative reaction to his new girlfriend (his biggest fear), but instead the fence jumping coincided with his son's visits. Each time his son came for a visit and then went back to college, there was a day or two of fence jumping. His dog was just missing his son. Putting a t-shirt or sweatshirt his son had worn in the dog's bed resolved the fence jumping. 

Like I said, you have more information than you think . . . and you probably need an animal communicator less often than you think too!  :-)  Something to consider . . .