Our Acts Of Kindness CAN Make A Difference

 I am resharing this blog post from July of 2022 because I still have these same hopes. It is still my hope that this blog will somehow reach the man who made such a difference in my life, that it will help people see how impactful acts of kindness can be and that it will inspire others to keep helping others. No action is too small. I believe every bit of kindness can create ripples of positivity.

When I was in college, I was on the rowing team. Practice was at 5am, which was brutal enough but the closer it got to finals and the later into the evening I had to study, the harder it was to get my sleep deprived body up with that morning alarm. One particular morning, I woke up to see I had less than 5 minutes to get myself dressed and to the bus stop around the corner where our team bus picked up those of us in the surrounding dorms. I don't know if I forgot to set the alarm or if I set it and slept through it - all I knew is that I had to get MOVING. I managed to get sweats on, several layers of shirts and my socks when I heard the sound of the bus down the street. 

Grabbing my jacket and my tennis shoes, I went running out of my dorm room, flying down the steps outside hoping to make it in time. Luck wasn't on my side, as the bus pulled away from the curb before I could even make it across the grass in front of my dorm. The thing was I HAD to be at practice. Coach had been very clear - if we missed a practice that week, we would not be able to participate in the Regatta that weekend - so I needed to get to practice. Running behind the bus, I screamed and wildly waved my right arm, while my left hand clutched my tennis shoes and my jacket. There was half melted snow on the ground so my wool socks were quickly becoming very wet and very heavy but I refused to let that slow me down. I just kept running . . . yet when I heard Fr. Siconolfi shift the bus into a higher gear, I could feel my heart sink. There was no way I'd catch the bus now.

Just then a man pulled up in a small blue truck. He rolled down the passenger window (which he had to do by hand - this was in the 80's after all) and yelled "Do you need to catch that bus?" Gasping for air, all I could do was nod my head yes, so he opened the door from the inside and motioned for me to get in. Diving into the front seat of his truck, we were on the move before I had even pulled the door all the way closed. He quickly shared that his sons had played football and he knew how important it was to never miss a practice. 

I'm pretty sure he ignored all the posted speed limit signs as we flew down the road, making a hard left, then a hard right at the next corner. We were then on the two-lane straight part of the road. I remember this kind man had a very hot cup of coffee in a paper cup wedged between his legs so he could keep shift gears to keep pace with the bus and I also recall worrying several times that it was going to spill on him. 

Fortunately for me, he seemed as determined as I was to not have me miss practice so he did his best to stay lined up with the bus. Continuing to flail my arms wildly while yelling to get his attention, Father Siconolfi remained oblivious to the girl hanging out the window of the small blue truck. Fortunately one of my teammates, in their hazy sleep deprived state, finally noticed me and got him to pull over. Quickly thanking the man, I grabbed my tennis shoes and jacket and made a beeline for the bus. 

Over the years whenever I shared this story, hoping people would understand why I believed in the good side of humanity (and why I loved Spokane so much), most of the time they didn't get it. The part that most people latched onto was that "I got into a stranger's truck." They responded with things like "He could have been a serial killer" and "Maureen you are just way too trusting." (Geez, what if I was the serial killer? He would have been the one putting his life in danger by stopping to help me!!) LOL

I have continued to share the story though - in an attempt to illustrate my belief that there are wonderful people everywhere - people who are willing to lend a hand - showing up when we need them most and going the extra mile. At times we may have to pay more attention to notice these genuine acts of kindness but they are out there and they are in more places than we might see reported on mainstream media. 

I have thought of the kindness of this man so many times in the last thirty some odd years and I still feel so much gratitude for his help that day. What he did for ME has inspired me over the years to keep offering kindness and support to others. Sometimes when my faith in humanity wobbles a bit, all I have to do is pull up the memory of that morning and I am instantly reconnected with the remembrance of what he did for me and the faith that it instilled in me. I believe that there are people like him all over the world - quietly making a difference without any expectation of accolades - merely doing these things because they feel inspired to take action. 

My only regret from that morning was that I never got his name so I was not able to thank him properly or as profusely as my heart wanted to. So this post has three purposes:

1) To encourage people to look for the good in humanity. If you take the time to look, you will see examples and it will likely result in you noticing even more of the ways people are being there for each other. (And let's face it, how can that not put a smile on your face and in your heart.)

2) To inspire people to stay open to the opportunities where they can support others and be the illustration of the goodness that exists in the world. You may never know how many ripples of kindness it will create yet I have seen evidence time and again where someone's act of kindness inspired someone else to do something kind. We have the power to make our humanity a force to be reckoned with and I believe that every effort we make can and will make a difference.

3) That someone who lived in Spokane back in the 80s might know a man who drove a small blue truck and would have been on his way to work at 5:00 in the morning, who has sons who played football. My hope is that by some miracle he will somehow end up seeing this. It would make me so very happy if he knew how grateful I was and still am for his help that morning and how much he has inspired me over the years. The funny thing is that I don't think we even did all that well in the Regatta that weekend but I got to be there and I got to row because thanks to him I didn't miss practice that morning. 

If you feel moved to share actions - either witnessed or done by you - that have restored your faith in humanity, please feel free to write about them in the comments. I'd love to see them and I bet others would too. 

ps: I keep thinking about the movie Powder (1995) and how a line in the movie gave me such huge goosebumps that I wrote it on a post-it note and placed it on the refrigerator so I would see it every day (and that post-it note was there for decades). If I recall correctly, Jeff Goldblum's character said something like "My hope is that one day our humanity will surpass our technology." That was and still is something I hope to experience as well . . . and I truly believe that we have the ability to create it.

Is It Time to Change How We Work?

When I saw this meme today, I literally laughed out loud! Oh the memories it brought back of my senior year of college, when over 50% of our grade was dependent on the big “group project.” Back then, every single class I had was using this method, so basically ALL of my grades were dependent on how well the project team worked together in every one of my classes. They ranged from “Super fun” to “I think I am going to cry in my beer”–with the latter being a great source of frustration and exhaustion.

Given how much it bothered me, I bent the ear of more than one college professor that year (and in the years that followed) about my strongly held belief that if you were going to make so much of a person’s grade dependent on how well their team worked together, then there should also be classes offered that were specific to how to work productively as a team. Most of the time they would shake their heads and give me a response that was equivalent to “Changing a college curriculum is about as easy as getting a gigantic ocean liner to do a 180 when it’s a few miles away from shore.”

 

When I got my first job out of college and was involved in the Process Improvement initiative (Total Quality Management), this topic came up once again. Process Improvement teams were formed based on departments, management teams or representatives from cross-functional groups but no one was there to help them work together as a team. Improving a process then became a fun and easy activity or a goat rodeo, depending on the personalities of the team members and their ability to communicate effectively. (This was where my passion for the human side of Process Improvement originated). 

 

When our internal training organization was preparing to roll out Quality Management training, I kept pushing for things that were quickly ruled out by the more senior people involved. For instance, I wanted to let actual teams sign up for a training class together so they could work on their specific process during the class and get support from the trainer / facilitator to implement the concepts real-time. I was told we couldn’t do that. No matter how much I pushed, I was told over and over “We just don’t do things that way” and “Sign ups would be a nightmare . . . it’s quicker and easier to just put everyone through the training and they can bring the tools back to their individual departments.”  My repeated attempts to question the “norm” did nothing, as they just kept shaking their heads as if to say “Alas, she’s so green . . . someday she’ll understand that isn’t how things work in the corporate world.”  LOL

 

I share all of this now, not in an attempt to shame colleges or internal training departments (and given that I began working as a outside consultant almost 30 years ago and have been out of college longer than that, for all I know, things HAVE changed in that regard). I just have this growing sense that the time is NOW to come at this with even more passion and more conviction. The time is NOW to call out the things that aren’t effective and create new ways to get things done. Not to tweak existing ways but to come up with entirely new ways of working.

 

I know I am not the only one thinking this. Based on the articles that show up in my newsfeed, clearly there are others sensing this need for change. Conversations I have had with my Linked-in contacts are proof that many of them are already attempting to implement new ways of working in their current positions and they are finding great success with these new approaches. 

My hope is that by shining the spotlight on this, even more people will begin questioning if there are better ways for us to run our businesses. Quieting the voices that say, “This is how we’ve always done it” – could we think more broadly and more deeply about how we’d like to work? Could we reimagine how we partner with our co-workers? Our customers? Our suppliers? Could we find ways to work where everyone feels valued and appreciated? Where everyone enjoys what they are doing so much that it no longer feels like "work?"

 

If we gave ourselves permission to look at things with both humanity and effectiveness in mind (in the absence of all limits) could we tap into brand new ideas that could completely reshape the way we do business? My belief is that we absolutely can—the question really comes down to “Will we?”

Don't Stop Believing in Humanity

When I was in college, I was on the rowing team. Practice was at 5am, which was brutal enough but the closer it got to finals and the later into the evening I had to study, the harder it was to get my sleep deprived body up with that morning alarm. One particular morning, I woke up to see I had less than 5 minutes to get myself dressed and to the bus stop around the corner where our team bus picked up those of us in the surrounding dorms. I don't know if I forgot to set the alarm or if I set it and slept through it - all I knew is that I had to get MOVING. I managed to get sweats on, several layers of shirts and my socks when I heard the sound of the bus down the street. 

Grabbing my jacket and my tennis shoes, I went running out of my dorm room, flying down the steps outside hoping to make it in time. Luck wasn't on my side, as the bus pulled away from the curb before I could even make it across the grass in front of my dorm. The thing was I HAD to be at practice. Coach had been very clear - if we missed a practice that week, we would not be able to participate in the Regatta that weekend - so I needed to get to practice. Running behind the bus, I screamed and wildly waved my right arm, while my left hand clutched my tennis shoes and my jacket. There was half melted snow on the ground so my wool socks were quickly becoming very wet and very heavy but I refused to let that slow me down. I just kept running . . . yet when I heard Fr. Siconolfi shift the bus into a higher gear, I could feel my heart sink. There was no way I'd catch the bus now.

Just then a man pulled up in a small blue truck. He rolled down the passenger window (which he had to do by hand - this was in the 80's after all) and yelled "Do you need to catch that bus?" Gasping for air, all I could do was nod my head yes, so he opened the door from the inside and motioned for me to get in. Diving into the front seat of his truck, we were on the move before I had even pulled the door all the way closed. He quickly shared that his sons had played football and he knew how important it was to never miss a practice. 

I'm pretty sure he ignored all the posted speed limit signs as we flew down the road, making a hard left, then a hard right at the next corner. We were then on the two-lane straight part of the road. I remember this kind man had a very hot cup of coffee in a paper cup wedged between his legs so he could keep shift gears to keep pace with the bus and I also recall worrying several times that it was going to spill on him. 

Fortunately for me, he seemed as determined as I was to not have me miss practice so he did his best to stay lined up with the bus. Continuing to flail my arms wildly while yelling to get his attention, Father Siconolfi remained oblivious to the girl hanging out the window of the small blue truck. Fortunately one of my teammates, in their hazy sleep deprived state, finally noticed me and got him to pull over. Quickly thanking the man, I grabbed my tennis shoes and jacket and made a beeline for the bus. 

Over the years whenever I shared this story, hoping people would understand why I believed in the good side of humanity (and why I loved Spokane so much), most of the time they didn't get it. The part that most people latched onto was that "I got into a stranger's truck." They responded with things like "He could have been a serial killer" and "Maureen you are just way too trusting." (Geez, what if I was the serial killer? He would have been the one putting his life in danger by stopping to help me!!) LOL

I have continued to share the story though - in an attempt to illustrate my belief that there are wonderful people everywhere - people who are willing to lend a hand - showing up when we need them most and going the extra mile. At times we may have to pay more attention to notice these genuine acts of kindness but they are out there and they are in more places than we see reported on mainstream media. 

I have thought of the kindness of this man so many times in the last thirty some odd years and I still feel so much gratitude for his help that day. What he did for ME has inspired me over the years to keep being there for others. Sometimes when my faith in humanity wobbles a bit, all I have to do is pull up the memory of that morning and I am instantly reconnected with the remembrance what he did for me that day and the faith that it instilled in me - that there are people like him all over the world. 

My only regret from that morning was that I never got his name so I was not able to thank him properly or as profusely as my heart wanted to. So this post has three purposes:

1) To encourage people to look for the good in humanity. If you take the time to look, you will see examples and it will likely result in you noticing even more of the ways people are being there for each other. (And let's face it, how can that not put a smile on your face and in your heart.)

2) To inspire people to stay open to the opportunities where they can assist and support others and be the illustration of the goodness that exists in the world. You may never know how many ripples of kindness it will create yet I have seen evidence time and again where someone's act of kindness inspired someone else to do something kind. We have the power to make our humanity a force to be reckoned with. It is my belief that every effort can and will make a difference.

3) That someone who lived in Spokane back in the 80s might know a man who drove a small blue truck and would have been on his way to work at 5:00 in the morning, who has sons who played football. My hope is that by some miracle he will somehow end up seeing this. It would make me so very happy if he knew how grateful I was and still am for his help that morning and how much he has inspired me over the years. The funny thing is that I don't think we even did all that well in the Regatta that weekend but I got to be there and I got to row because thanks to him I didn't miss practice that morning. 

If you feel moved to share actions - either witnessed or done by you - that have restored your faith in humanity, please feel free to write about them in the comments. I'd love to see them and I bet others would too. 

ps: I keep thinking about the movie Powder (1995) and how a line in the movie gave me such huge goosebumps that I wrote it on a post-it note and placed it on the refrigerator so I would see it every day (and it was there for decades). If I recall correctly, Jeff Goldblum's character said something like "My hope is that one day our humanity will surpass our technology." That was and still is something I hope to experience as well and I truly believe that we have the ability to create it.