Happy Birthday Lucky

This past Monday, July 12th was Lucky's birthday. She would have been 15 years old, if she was still here. I felt it was important to honor her on her birthday . . . I just wasn't sure how.

Our annual tradition to celebrate her birthday consisted of going to Bill's Cafe, our favorite restaurant, where Lucky would get a side of sausage, that she was allowed to eat all herself . . . and then we would head over to our favorite beach in Aptos. Lucky would chase her tennis ball

and play in the water until she could barely walk anymore. It was what we did every year, with the exception of last year. Since she wasn't able to chase the ball anymore, we skipped the trip to the beach and went to the park instead. We did however go to Bill's, so she could enjoy her side of sausage. :-)

This year, as her birthday neared, I was unsure of what I wanted to do to celebrate. I wasn't sure if I was up for going to Bill's without her. I knew I would probably go to the beach, but I wasn't sure what else I wanted to do. The night before her birthday, I felt a strong pull to get my video tapes of her and watch them. I spent some time Sunday night watching video of her. Much to my delight, watching the videos just made me smile. No tears, no sadness, just a lot of laughter as I watched her, so full of life, opening presents, eating sausages, playing in the ocean.

The next morning, I got up and after getting some coffee in me, I found myself pulled back to the couch to watch some more video of her. I came across birthday after birthday, listened to my voice off camera saying, "Would you like to go to the beach?" and watching her cock her head and then jump up to get ready . . . and hearing my voice ask, "Are you having a good birthday, sweet girl?" as we played at the beach. I giggled as I watched her open her gifts each year (the wrapping was merely a plastic grocery bag that I would tie on top and Lucky was quite an expert at untying the bag to find what was inside).

As I sat there on the couch, enjoying the videos, I was still mulling over what I would do next. I still didn't feel like I was up for going to Bill's, but felt that going to the beach would probably be alright. All of the sudden, there was a knock at the door and it was one of my best friends, delivering a side of sausage that he had just picked up from Bill's. I was so touched, I shed my first tears of the day.

A little while later, I left for the beach. I could feel Lucky with me when I got into the car and it made me smile. I pulled out a subdudes CD that I hadn't listened to in a while (a live CD from many years ago), and popped it into the CD player. It was smooth sailing over Hwy 17 until we got to Hwy 1 and then traffic was almost at a dead stop. My usual 35 min. trip to the beach had turned into a 55 min. trip but for some reason it didn't stress me out. I was enjoying the music and knew I'd get to the beach soon enough.

As I exited the freeway, the song Suger Pie came on. I was surprised because I had forgotten it was even on that CD. I made a mental note that if traffic hadn't been so bad, I wouldn't still be in the car when that particular song came on. And as I pulled up in front of the beach, the most meaningful lines of that song began. The hair stood up on my arms and it felt like it was divinely orchestrated.

The lyrics at that moments were: "Now time has passed and you're so far away, can't get used to not seeing you each day . . . but there's one place in the back of my mind, where I can go to see you anytime . . . and for you to me, forever you will be my sugar pie, sugar pie, sit by me." Fighting back a few tears, I got out of the car and made my way down to the beach.

I hoped I might find a sand dollar (I thought it might be nice to have a momento to remember the day) so as I walked a couple of miles down the beach, I kept scanning the sand in front of me, looking for a sand dollar, but I never saw one. When I turned around and began walking back in the direction I came from, I set the intention "If I'm meant to find a sand dollar, it will be right in front of me and I won't have to look for it."

As I walked back, I spent more time looking at the water, and just enjoying the scenery. After about a mile, I looked ahead and saw a german shepherd coming my way. It made me smile from ear to ear and as I passed the shepherd and his guardian, I said, "You have a beautiful shepherd" and he smiled back and said, "thank you." I took two more steps and then right there in front of me was a sand dollar . . . a perfectly pristine sand dollar. I picked it up and held it in my hands. It made me happier than words can explain. I smiled from head to toe.

When I left the beach, I wasn't quite ready to head back over the hill, so I decided to go to one of my favorite restaurants in Santa Cruz, a Hawaiian grill that has fantastic poke. They have an outdoor patio that welcomes dogs, so over the years, Lucky and I had been there together quite a few times. I got some poke and a beer and sat on the outside patio, just enjoying the experience, thinking about the interesting coincidences of the day (Sugar Pie coming on as I pulled up in front of our beach, finding the sand dollar seconds after seeing the german shepherd). I felt like she was there with me and it felt good. I said, quietly enough that no one else on the patio could hear me, "Are you having a good birthday, sweet girl?" I felt the answer was yes.

When I got up to leave the restaurant, three people walked by . . . each with a german shepherd on the end of their leashes. I got a knot in my throat, but mostly, it just made me smile.

The gift that I got, from honoring Lucky's birthday this year and watching the videos of her, was the reminder that she enjoyed life . . . and the more simple the pleasure, the more wonderful it was to her . . . it was one of the ways she and I were alike. Finding the sand dollar made my day. I didn't need anything else to make it a perfect day. Having a friend remember me and Lucky's tradition of going to Bill's and being kind enough to pick up a side of sausage for me on her birthday touched me deep in my soul.

It didn't take much to make the two of us happy beyond words. This concept of simple pleasures was something that was reinforced by Lucky over all the years we were together. She got tremendous joy from the simplest things, but she was in no way simple. She loved very deeply but never lost track of herself. She knew what she wanted, but she didn't want for much.

Getting a tablespoon of yogurt in the morning made her eyes sparkle . . . being able to lick the spoon sent her over the moon . . . every morning. Seeing a child she knew walking towards her was enough to fill her whole heart with joy. The way Lucky lit up in the presence of children is something that I still hold as one of my most treasured memories of her. That is why I want to include these two final pictures from Lucky's birthday last year.

As I mentioned before, we weren't able to go to the beach because Lucky's back legs were no longer working, so we went to the park. She was laying there on the grass, looking a little bored and I

was feeling guilty that she wasn't having a great fourteenth birthday . . . when all of the sudden, she sat up so straight and tall, it shocked me. I swear, she had a smile on her face and her eyes just sparkled. When I turned around to see what had grabbed her attention, I saw one of her little three year old friends walking towards us with her dad. The joy that Lucky felt was obvious to anyone who was in the vicinity and it was contagious. She just lit up and when her little friend got over to her, she greeted her as if she had just been given the most amazing, spectacular present anyone had ever received on their birthday.

I know my sweet girl is still guiding me from the other side, helping me to remember what is important in life . . . helping me to remember that the sweetest joys in life can often be the most simple ones.