What Reiki can do

Today while I was out for a run, I was trying to decide what I wanted to write about on my blog tonight. All of the sudden, I found myself thinking about a man I used to know named Dave. I wondered why my mind had wandered there since I haven't seen him or spoken to him in several years. When I went back to trying to figure out what I wanted to write in my blog, Dave popped into my head again. I considered that maybe it was a sign I should write about him.

I met Dave many years ago when I was volunteering at some Reiki healing services that were held a couple times a month at a church in San Jose. They were opened to anyone who wanted to receive a Reiki treatment and Dave was there almost every time.

He was an older gentleman, a very gentle, soft spoken man. He suffered from tremors that made me think he had Parkinson's disease, although I never asked him. I remember when I first met him, the tremors were mostly in his hands, but as time went on, the tremors affected his jaw and eventually his legs as well. He said he felt tired all the time because he wasn't able to get restful sleep, as the tremors kept him from truly relaxing.

It was the experience of seeing Dave at these healing services that showed me what Reiki could do. When he first got on the massage table for a treatment, his tremors were so severe the table would shake but about 15-20 minutes into the treatment, the tremors would stop completely. I was always fascinated by the fact that the energy could do that. It wasn't uncommon for Dave to fall asleep during the reiki treatments. Once the tremors stopped, he was able to really relax and he would often fall into a deep sleep. When that happened, no one wanted to wake him up because he was sleeping so peacefully. It was a beautiful thing to see.

Dave told us that the only time he ever got a break from the tremors was during a reiki treatment and the relief usually continued through the rest of the night and sometimes into the next day. It was what kept him coming back week after week.

I remember early on feeling a little disappointed that the energy couldn't help his tremors go away completely but Dave had a much more positive outlook on it. He was just happy to have any break from the tremors at all, so that was what he focused on . . . the night of peacefulness he was able to experience every couple of weeks.

It was a good lesson for me, to understand that the energy will do whatever it can. Sometimes it can't do everything we'd like it to, but I do trust that the energy will do what it is meant to do. For Dave, it gave him a respite from the tremors, and that was something he was incredibly grateful for.

We may not always know or be able to see what the energy is doing. It could be addressing issues we aren't even aware we have. It could also address the issues we are hoping it will. I learned that it is best to always keep an opened mind and maybe we'll be pleasantly surprised.

Heaven Has Another Angel

This past week, a very special client of mine made her transition. It hit me particularly hard and I thought it might help me if I shared the story of Jewel with you, as a way of honoring her and sorting through my own emotions about her death.

I started working with Jewel two years ago when she was almost 10 years old. She had been paralyzed for a year when I first met her and she had a tremendous impact on me. She's the one who taught me that animals can lead very happy, productive lives, even if they can’t use their back legs anymore. What I learned from Jewel helped me when Lucky lost the use of her back legs. Over the last two years, I have become very close to Jewel and her mom Tina.

When I first started giving reiki treatments to Jewel, she was having issues with her back legs swelling up and her arms getting stiff. Tina and I were amazed at how well she responded to the reiki treatments. After a few months, the swelling and stiffness went away and Tina was able to eliminate some of the medication that had been prescribed for Jewel. Jewel also had a wound deep inside her ear that would never seem to heal, and even though she would never let anyone touch her ear, but she trusted me enough to allow me to and eventually that healed up as well.

When I think about Jewel, what stands out the most are all the varied and beautiful aspects of her personality. I swear, she is one of the only dogs I have ever known who actually smiled . . . and you couldn’t help smiling back when Jewel smiled at you. And she loved flowers. She loved being surrounded by them and she loved to smell them. Tina would often pick flowers and put them in a vase next to Jewel’s bed. When I would come over and ask Jewel if I could smell her flowers, she’d immediately lift her head up and insist on smelling them too. I had never met a dog before who loved to smell flowers the way Jewel did and it tickled me to see how much joy it brought her.

Jewel was also smart, strong and determined. She believed it was her job to take care of Tina and she took that job very seriously. She loved hearing what was going on in her mom’s life and whenever I was there and our conversation turned to Tina, Jewel would get very quiet and listen intently, looking for clues as to how she might help her. If anyone ever treated Tina unkindly, it made Jewel very unhappy. It was not uncommon for Jewel to bark her head off if Tina was on the phone with someone who wasn’t being nice to her. (And if someone WAS being nice to her mom on the phone, she was as quiet as a mouse.)

There was never any question about what Jewel liked or disliked, if she was happy or unhappy. She was an incredibly clear communicator. Jewel loved her food too. I wrote about her recently, when I told the story of the first time I made a dog really mad over food. It was Jewel who got upset with me when I was talking to her mom about ways to help her lose weight. She did not want anyone messing with her food. :-) Thanks to Jewel’s Grandma, Jewel never experienced a shortage of special food treats. Jewel had a way of “twisting Grandma’s arm” to get her to share whatever she was having and Tina balanced it out by giving her ice cubes as "treats" so Jewel could keep her girlish figure. Jewel loved munching on ice cubes and would eat them all day if she could.

In recent months, as Jewel’s health began to decline, Tina’s ex boyfriend came back into the picture, to help her care for Jewel. Tina wanted to know if Jewel was OK with him being around and when I asked her, her response was, “As long as he doesn’t hurt you, he can come around as much as he wants.” That was Jewel . . . she loved her mom so much and what was most important to her was that her mom was OK.

Tina and Tony were able to put the hurt from the past aside, so they could focus on taking care of Jewel. It was really a beautiful thing to witness, the selflessness they exhibited in order to honor Jewel and take care of her. Since he was being kind to Tina, Jewel was happy to have Tony around and I think it was probably healing for all of them to be together again as a family during this difficult time. They got Jewel as a puppy and had raised her together, along with Jewel’s mate, and two of their puppies. When they broke up, all the dogs stayed with Tina but Tony was always their "dad."

Another thing I will always remember about Jewel was that she wanted to hear the truth, no matter what, which was something that was a little uncomfortable for Tina in the beginning. There were times she wanted to protect Jewel from things that were going on, but Jewel always knew if Tina was keeping things from her and she’d insist on knowing what Tina was afraid to tell her. Jewel liked everything to be out in the opened, as was the case a few weeks ago when I went to give Jewel a reiki treatment.

Jewel told me she was going to be making her transition soon and she wanted Tina to know, so that they could be prepared. The more we talked about her upcoming departure and how she wanted to spend her final time, the happier she got. By the time I was ready to leave, she was so at peace and so happy, giving me one of her big smiles and this sweet little cock of her head that I had come to love. Even though Tina and I were fighting back tears, we couldn’t ignore how comforting it was to Jewel, to have the truth out on the table. Honesty and clear communication were so important to her. She wasn’t one to beat around the bush.

Tina honored Jewel’s wishes and made sure she got to do everything she wanted, got to eat everything she wanted and had lots of fresh flowers around her every day. Tina and I had private conversations about some of the inevitable but upsetting decisions she needed to make, such as whether she would have Jewel buried or cremated, etc. and when I would come to the house, I would say to Tina, "Can I fill Jewel in on what we've been talking about?" and with a slight cringe, Tina would nod and then smile, to let me know I had her approval to give Jewel an update. It made Jewel happy to hear what we had discussed. I always felt it was one of the things she wanted her mom to learn, that she should never be afraid of being honest and putting everything out on the table.

Even though we knew Jewel’s time was coming to an end, it didn’t lessen the pain that came when she made her transition. On Sunday, March 14th, Jewel passed away. She was three months shy of her 12th birthday. She had a wonderful day, which included some of her most favorite things; going for a wagon ride around the neighborhood with Tina and Tony, picking (and smelling) fresh flowers on their walk and sharing the last bite of Tina’s dinner with her later that evening. Around 11pm, Jewel left her physical body and went on to the spirit world. She passed on her own, which is what she wanted, and she passed while her mom was home with her, which is what she wanted as well. She didn't want any strangers around, she just wanted to be with her mom in the end.

The next morning, Tina and Tony had me come over and talk to the other dogs. They wanted to make sure the other three understood what had happened and wanted to give them a chance to say their goodbyes to Jewel before they took her away. It was one of the most deeply touching experiences I have ever had . . . speaking with each dog individually to help them understand what was going on and then bringing them in, one at a time, to pay their respects to Jewel.

The love and respect that Tina and Tony showed for all their animals moved me to tears. Many people don’t realize that animals grieve the loss of a loved one but Tina and Tony did and they knew how important it was to give each of the dogs the opportunity to start the healing process.

I am going to miss Jewel in ways that are hard to put into words. She was such a remarkable dog and I suppose her similarities to my own sweet girl Lucky have made my heart ache even more this week. Her intelligence, her strength, the way she cared for and protected her mom, her pride and determination . . . she and Lucky were so much alike. I know what a positive impact Jewel had on Tina's life and how deeply she is grieving now over Jewel's departure. My hope is that Tina will always remember that Jewel is watching over her and making sure that Tina is remembering all the things she taught her while she was here.

Intuition

Many people believe that everyone is born with intuitive abilities, that we all have the ability to get guidance from some other source, whether you define that source as the Universe, angels, a connection to your 'higher self', etc.

Working from the assumption that we really all do have it, the question is, do you pay attention to it? When that thought pops into your head that you should call someone, that you should double check the stove before you leave the house, that you should confirm an appointment or a hotel reservation before venturing out, etc . . . do you heed that little voice? or do you ignore it?

Intuition can come in many forms . . . it can come as a 'knowing' - just something that pops into your head, it can come in the form of dreams (or nightmares) or through something that catches your attention, whether it's an ad in a magazine or on TV, or a conversation you overhear. It doesn't really matter how the message comes in, I think the important thing is whether or not we pay attention to it. I personally believe that the more we pay attention to our intuition, the more active it becomes and the more it can assist us.

Last night, I went to a friend's birthday party and during dinner, the conversation turned to intuition. I was pleasantly surprised to hear everyone at the table recounting times their intuition had 'spoken to them' and how glad they were that they paid attention. It was really cool to hear how opened people were to listening to that 'inner voice.'

Story after story was shared around the table . . . people who got a 'warning' and had the good sense to listen. One man told a story of a time he was stuck in heavy traffic on Hwy 17. He said he kept looking at the little dog in the car in front of him, that had his head out the window, and as he watched the dog lean farther out the opened window, something told him the dog was going to fall out of the window. Trusting that inner voice, he slowed down and made sure he put extra space between he and the car in front of him. Within minutes, sure enough, the dog came out the window and landed on the highway. Fortunately, the dog wasn't injured and because this man had paid attention to his intuition, he was far enough back and going slow enough, that he was able to stop immediately and help get the dog back in his guardian's car.

After a while, the subject turned to dreams and whether or not our dreams are also giving us messages or if it's just a sign we shouldn't eat so close to bedtime when we have strange dreams. :-) A woman shared a story of an ongoing nightmare that she has . . . that her house catches on fire and they aren't able to get out because all their bedrooms are on the second floor. She said she kept wondering if she should get ladders that can be rolled out from the upstairs bedroom windows but she never has. Her husband playfully teased her about what a worrier she is . . . that she would worry if she didn't have something to worry about. :-) My sense was that if the dream (nightmare) was recurring, maybe it was a sign that since she hadn't taken action yet, she hadn't gotten the message yet. She promised us all that she was going to go out today and get the ladders. I look forward to finding out if the nightmares finally stop, once she is 'prepared.'

So my question for you today is: Do you pay attention to your intuition when it 'speaks' to you? If not, I hope you'll start paying attention. And if you already do listen to your intuition, I hope you'll keep listening. The way I see it, we can all use a little extra help to navigate this journey we're on, so every little bit of guidance can help.

Healing for Humans

When I first started my energy healing business, I was working primarily with animals, as it felt like that was what I was being guided to do. Over the last few years, more and more humans have been coming to me for healing as well. Some weeks, I even have more human clients than animal clients. I find it as much of an honor to work with humans as I do with animals and I have enjoyed seeing how my work has continued to unfold.

Quite a few of my human clients are the guardians of my animal clients. Often, they have seen how much their animals benefit from a reiki session and they are interested in trying it themselves. Some of my human clients met me when their animal was in the last stage of their life, and I worked with their animal to help them through the final part of their journey. When their animal passed away, they began getting reiki treatments themselves, to help deal with the grief they were experiencing. Some of my human clients don't have animals at all. (It's not a prerequisite) :-)

People often ask me what inspires people to explore reiki as a healing modality, and the answer is . . . just about anything. My own experience with Reiki began when I was having a lot of back pain and went to a massage therapist who incorporated reiki into her massages. At the time, I didn't know what reiki was, but I had never felt so good after a massage, so I was inspired to learn more. When I realized how much it could help not just me, but Lucky as well, I was even more motivated to explore reiki and all it could do.

People come to me for a vast array of reasons. Some are looking to just feel more peaceful and find that reiki treatments help them relax, sleep better, feel more at ease about what is going on in their lives. Some people have physical pain and get reiki treatments to help ease that pain. Others also see a chiropractor and find that having a reiki treatment after a chiropractic appointment helps them feel even better than a chiropractic appointment alone.

Some of my clients call me when they are starting to feel sick and find that they get better before they get any worse, if they get a reiki treatment. (It is believed that reiki can help boost the immune system so our bodies can more easily fight off illness). Recently, I went to see a client who was not feeling well. When I arrived at her house, I was concerned, as it sounded to me like she could have pneumonia and I wondered if she should be going to the hospital instead of seeing me. She was sure reiki was what she needed and much to both of our delights, by the next day, she was feeling better. (We thought she only seemed like she had bronchitis.) :-) She had me come again the next day to give her another reiki treatment and we joked that maybe by the following day, she'd just have a regular old cold, and sure enough, that was how she felt the next morning . . . like she just had a regular old cold.

Some of my other clients are people who feel that they want more out of life. They want more peace, they want more calm, they don’t want to be burdened by the past any longer and want to start creating a life that brings them more joy, more happiness.

In these cases, the goal is often to help them release what their body holds . . . whether it's the cell memory of experiences from the past, the aches and pains that come from stuffing their emotions for years on end, and the old, unhelpful tapes that run in their head that tell them they aren’t good enough, that they don’t deserve more, that it's selfish for them to take care of themselves, etc.

I don't believe there is a right or wrong way to approach a reiki treatment - I believe we can all get as much or as little out of energy healing as we want. The effects of reiki are not something that can be scientifically proven, yet I have seen enough "proof" myself to make me believe it can definitely be a positive addition to wellness.

If you want to feel more peaceful, I have seen it help people with that. If you have some aches and pains that are bringing you down, I have seen it help with that. And if you are looking to release old memories and hurts, I have seen it help with that too. Is it the answer to everything? No, it's not.

Is reiki a substitute for western medicine? No, sometimes we still need western medicine. I learned this myself . . . for as much as I wanted reiki to heal my thyroid disease, and eliminate the need for me to take a thyroid pill every day, it didn't. On the plus side, it did help improve my thyroid function enough that I was able to go on a lower dose of medication. That made me happy, even if I do still have to take a pill every day. ;-)

I remember when I first started getting reiki treatments, I was thrilled to just get a good nights sleep after a treatment. It was a good place to start for me and I am glad that I kept being opened to what else it could do. If you've never had a reiki treatment, maybe it's time to give it a try. You never know what it can do and how it can help you.

Including our pets in our activities

Last week, I wrote about how much animals like to participate in activities with their guardians and I encouraged everyone who reads my blog to make an effort to include their pets in whatever fun they were having.

This week, one of my clients told me that the day after she read my blog, her adult children were over at her house and they decided to play a board game. Once they had begun playing, one of her cats came out to see what was going on.

She remembered that when her cat was young, she loved to lay in the empty box while the family was playing board games, so she got the box and put it on the table to see what her cat would do. Sure enough, her cat immediately jumped up on the table and got right into the box so she could join in the fun. She was so happy to know her cat still liked to join in the family games. I was so tickled by her story, it has brought a smile to my face each time I have thought about it.

Another one of my clients emailed me this week, after reading my blog, to share a funny story about her cat. She told me that last summer, she was hosting a slumber party for her daughter and a few of her friends. The girls all wanted her to style their hair so she pulled out brushes, rubber bands, clips, etc and was prepared to do french braids, pig tails or anything else the girls wanted.

As she was brushing the first girl's hair, her cat came out, jumped on the back of the chair and started running his paws through the girl's hair as well. She said all the girls squealed in delight and hoped "Tom" would help brush each of their hair. She was shocked because normally "Tom" hid when the house was full of kids, but that night, he clearly wanted to be part of the "hair party" and they were all more than happy to have him join in the fun.

As I thought about these darling stories this week, I remembered another one

of my favorite memories of Lucky. I am fortunate enough to still be close to my best friend from kindergarden, Dawn. Even though she has lived on the east coast since we were in sixth grade, we have always remained friends. A couple of years ago, she came out to visit, along with her husband and their three sons. I had never met her boys before, as she and John hadn't been out to California with them. Lucky was in heaven that week. She instantly fell in love with the boys and the feeling was obviously mutual. While she had always enjoyed playing with kids at the park, she had never been fortunate enough to have kids to play with 24/7 and she was beside herself with joy the entire time they were here. Whatever the boys were doing, she wanted to be doing it too.

One day during their visit, Lucky and I took the five of them to our special beach. I had never seen Lucky so animated. Normally, at the beach Lucky was just focused on her tennis ball. It was all about running after the ball and bringing it back to me so I would throw it again but that day, she wasn't interested in her tennis ball at all. She was only interested in what the boys were doing and she was determined to be "one of the boys."

When the boys ran into the water, Lucky ran in after them. She followed them in and out of the water, again and again. When they started digging in the sand, she got right in there and tried to help. She didn't know what she was supposed to do at first, so she stood there watching them closely for a few minutes and then when she figured out how she could help, she started digging in the sand as well. The boys were giggling up a storm the whole time.

When Dawn's husband wanted to take a picture of his sons on the beach, Lucky walked over and got right into the picture as well. She was obviously thrilled to part of the gang and lucky for her, John was happy to photograph all four of them together.

At one point, I turned to Dawn and John and said, "I'm so glad our kids finally got to meet." John thought it was the funniest thing he had ever heard and for the remainder of the trip, he brought it up repeatedly, laughing just as heartily each time. From that point forward, they not only called me "Aunt Maureen" but they referred to Lucky as their "cousin."

A day or two later, when Dawn and John decided to take the boys to Bonfonte Gardens, at first they didn't want to go if Lucky couldn't join them. They really did think of her as one of their friends. When the boys were inquiring as to how soon I could come out to New Jersey to visit them, one of them asked if Lucky would be able to come too. When I explained that I didn't think Lucky would be able to handle the airplane ride, since she'd have to fly in the cargo hold, they suggested that I shouldn't come visit them, unless I drove, because it wouldn't be fair to Lucky for me to go see them without her. :-) Looking through the pictures I took that week, I couldn't help but smile. They brought back so many wonderful memories.

I think it was definitely on Lucky's "Top Ten List" for best memories of her 14 years. She was so happy to be included in almost everything the boys did while they were here and it really does reinforce my belief that animals appreciate being a part of whatever we're doing. They see themselves as members of the family and like to be treated as such. I hope you'll keep looking for ways to include your animals in your activities.

Animals like to be included

Fifteen years ago, I took my first trip to New Orleans. I fell in love with the city and over the years went back again and again, for Jazzfest, for Halloween, for a 49er/Saints game, etc . . . each time, having an equally magical experience. There is something very special to me about New Orleans. It was after that first trip to the Big Easy that I began celebrating Fat Tuesday each year. I would invite friends over, cook red beans and rice, and serve Hurricane's, (the house specialty at Pat O'Brien's), to honor the city and the wonderful memories of my trips there.

This past week, Fat Tuesday arrived and as usual, I cooked up some red beans and rice and invited some friends over. And per our usual tradition, every put on beads (I have quite a collection from my trips over the years) and we listened to cajun music, as well as the subdudes, since they are originally from New Orleans as well.

It was a fun evening, but I couldn't help feeling a little sad. I missed having Lucky there with me. She was always a part of the celebration, even donning beads each year, so she could be like the rest of us. It was difficult to experience another one of our traditions, without her physically here with me. I loved how much joy she got out of being a part of whatever I was doing.

I smiled to myself when I remembered the various times I was sitting in the backyard with friends and would hear Lucky tapping on the sliding glass door with her paw. I would open the door, thinking maybe she wanted to come outside to go potty, but instead, she'd just lay down in the opened doorway. We always assumed she just wanted to be able to hear our conversations, so as not to miss out on anything.

It got me thinking about how most animals really like to be included in what we're doing. They consider themselves members of the family and they like to participate in as many of our activities as possible.

My clients have warmed my heart over the years with stories of how their animals have wanted to participate in their activities . . . like one of my clients who began working out at home to exercise videos and when she was laying on her back doing crunches, her dog would come lick her face and then lay across her stomach . . . or when she was on her hands and knees doing leg lifts, her dog would keep running underneath her stomach, as if she was making a bridge for him to play under. At first, she was slightly irritated by his interruptions, but when I explained that he was just trying to enjoy the activity with her, she began finding the humor in his antics.

Another client told me a story about how her dog would sit with her when she was folding laundry and after she had folded something, her dog would pick it up and carry it into the bedroom. At first, she wasn't too pleased that her freshly washed clothes were getting slobbered on, but she did eventually see the positive in what her dog was doing - she was trying to be helpful!

And I remembered that one of my childhood dogs used to bury dog treats in my dad's suitcase when he was packing to leave on the trip. The first time it happened, he was confused and he called my mom from his hotel when he arrived, inquiring as to why she had put dog treats in his suitcase. When she swore up and down that it wasn't her, they finally realized who had done it. :-) We weren't sure if he was just giving my dad something to remember him by, or if he was hoping he was going to get to go on the trip too, thus, he needed to put HIS stuff in the suitcase. Either way, he wanted to participate in the packing process.

Just a week or so ago, another one of my clients was telling me that her dog had been pacing and seeming stressed out when she was in the baby's room reading him stories. The baby's room was the one place in the house where the dog wasn't allowed and while it didn't seem to bother the dog most of the time, it did appear to bother him during story time. She decided to start reading stories to the baby in the family room and it was clear that this pleased her dog, as he would curl up next to she and the baby and listen intently as she read.

Animals really do like to be included in what we're doing. They want to be as much a part of the family as everyone else, so if you aren't already doing so, I hope you'll find ways to start including your pets in your activities. It doesn't matter how big or small the activity is, or how big or small their part in it is. I think it will just mean a great deal to them to be joining in the fun.

Trust yourself

One of unexpected "services" that I find myself providing to my clients is trying to help them develop more trust in themselves . . . their own intuition . . . their own knowledge and skills of observation, especially as it pertains to their animals.

When I am working with the guardians of my animal clients, I ask the guardians a lot of questions about what they sense, what they have observed and what they think is going on with their animal. Sure, I am picking up insights and information from the animals myself, but I believe that the best way I can help an animal is to partner with their guardian. My goal is to put together what they are sensing and seeing, with what I am picking up, and what the animal is telling me, to make it a more complete picture. I feel it would be a huge disservice to the animal to ignore their input or to ignore the input of their guardian.

In a perfect world, all veterinarians would operate this way too and never disregard what a guardian knows about their animal or what an animal is showing them either. Unfortunately, my perfect world doesn't exist yet and many of my clients are confronted with the sad truth that there are a lot of veterinarians out there who are only interested in what they know or what they believe.

Over the last couple of years, I have had many discussions with my clients about this topic. Some of them have confessed to me that they view veterinarians (any anyone with a medical degree) as an authority figure and believe they must know more than they do. It's as if being in the presence of someone who has a degree somehow trumps whatever knowledge and experience they have with their own animal.

Even if they go into the vet, sure of what tests they want or don't want, or what avenue they want to pursue, they often leave feeling frustrated that their vets didn't listen to them and they ended up agreeing to things they didn't want to do. When I try to gently coach them to speak up to their vets, I often hear, "But it just didn't feel right to push back, after all, they are the one with the medical degree."

I try to point out that while the vet may have lots of knowledge, what they don't have is experience with their animal. They aren't living with the animal, they aren't seeing the animal day in and day out. The vet doesn't have the heart connection with the animal that they do either and that matters too.

Let me say for the record, I am not demeaning ALL veterinarians. I know there are great ones out there. My frustration is with the vets that don't listen to the guardians and who don't take into account what the person who is living with that animal knows.

Twice in the last two weeks, I have received calls from clients who were in tears after a vet visit. As always, I do my best to try to help them separate out fact from assumption, separate what they "know" from what they were told and slowly, we are able to unravel all the emotions and frustrations and determine a course of action that feels right to the guardian. Yet, I continue to feel frustrated that so many of my clients are having negative experiences with veterinarians.

Based on the experiences of my clients, I would like to share some tips with you, in the hopes of helping you have better experiences with a veterinarian.

- If you don't feel comfortable with the veterinarian, don't go back. Some of the things my clients have told me are: The vet wouldn't listen to me. The vet didn't talk to my dog and acted like he wasn't even there in the room. The vet told me my dog didn't understand what we were talking about. I felt like I was being treated like I was stupid.

No one should ever feel that way when they take their animal to a veterinarian. Remember, there are plenty of vets out there and there's no sense going to someone you don't feel comfortable with.

- Watch your animal for signs of how they feel about the veterinarian because they will tell you through their behavior what they think about the vet you are seeing. I hear things like: My dog wouldn't get out of the car when we arrived. My dog shivered and panted the entire time we were there. My cat was a wreck and never calmed down through the whole appointment. Many people think that it's normal for an animal to be totally distressed at a vet appointment, but I have seen enough evidence to the contrary to convince me that animals know when it's the "right" vet and when it's not.

My clients have told me stories of going to a new vet and being shocked at how calm their animal was, as opposed to previous vet visits. I have a few clients whose dogs had to be muzzled in order to make it through a vet visit but when they found the "right" vet, the dog no longer needed to be muzzled. Your animal will give you signs, if you are willing to "listen" to them.

- Listen to your own gut. If the diagnosis doesn't feel right to you, trust that. Get another opinion. Several years ago, I had a client whose dog received a cancer diagnosis (lymphoma, I think). They told her he would probably only live a couple more months. The guardian kept telling me she didn't think her dog had cancer and I told her to trust that feeling. When she went back several months later to have more lab work done, there were no "proof" of cancer anymore. She was so glad she trusted her instincts and her dog is still here and doing fine. I have had too many clients hear, "Your animal has cancer, the humane thing to do is to put them down today." And when they chose not to, they were treated like they were "bad guardians."

One of my clients called me today with this very story. She was told by a vet that her dog had cancer and that she should be put down today. When my client said, "No, I'm bringing her back home with me" she was accused of keeping her dog alive "for her own selfish reasons." I know this woman and I know there is nothing selfish about her at all. She has a heart of gold and she also has a really good head on her shoulders. She knows the time will come for her dog to make her transition but she told me she knew it wasn't today. I trust her. I hope she will continue to trust herself as well.

My hope is that all guardians will learn to trust themselves and be willing to stand up to a vet if they don't agree with their assessment, or not be afraid to find another vet who is more willing to work with them, to treat them and their animal with respect. Our animals count on us to advocate for them, to listen to them and they count on us to listen to our own intuition. You know when something doesn't feel right and there's nothing wrong with trusting that feeling. Regardless of how much medical training you've personally had, as a guardian, you have valuable information and insights and intuitions about your pet that should never be discounted . . . not by yourself and not by anyone in the medical profession. Please don't be afraid to trust yourself and your own "knowing."