Squirrels

I met a squirrel the other day that had me smiling so much, that I have found myself hoping I will see him again. Normally, I am not all that thrilled about having squirrels in my yard, because they dig up my daffodil bulbs, kill flowers that are still blooming and generally make a mess with all the dirt they throw around. When I see them in the yard, I remind them that I would like them to refrain from digging in my flower pots and usually they quickly run off - up the fence and out of sight.

So a month ago, I was sitting in the yard, doing the crossword puzzle and enjoying the sun, when a bold little squirrel walked right over to a flower pot three feet away from me and started digging away. I said "Hey, what are you doing?" He jumped out of the pot and stepped up on the deck and I thought he was going to tear out of the yard but instead he stopped, turned around and just looked at me.

I stood up and took a few steps towards him and he didn't flinch, which was odd, since the squirrels usually high tail it out of my yard if I move. I took another step towards him and then crouched down next to the deck, so we were eye level. I explained how I felt about he and his squirrel friends messing up my yard and killing my flowers and asked him if he would please leave my flower pots alone. He sat there, calmly looking at me and appearing to understand every word that I said, so I got up and sat back down in my chair.

As soon as my eyes focused back on the crossword puzzle, I heard a noise and looked up to find him in the flower pot again, throwing dirt at an accelerated pace, removing most of the pedals from the flower closest to him. Again, I got up and walked towards him and again, he moved up to the deck, only a foot away from the pot, so I crouched down and tried explaining one more time how much I wanted him to leave my flowers alone. He continued to look me in the eye and what I picked up from him was a mixture of understanding as well as determination - for as much as he got what I was saying and wanted to comply, he had a goal and he wasn't going to stop until he achieved that goal.

This little guy was fiercely determined and it's a quality I possess myself from time to time, when something it really important to me, so I couldn't really fault him for it. It made me laugh and I said, "OK, I get it - you really want the nut that is buried in the flower pot, so how about if you let ME fish it out for you because I think I can do it without making such a mess." He just looked at me but I swear, I could tell he liked that idea.

I reached into the pot, dug around a bit and found the nut he was looking for. I rolled it over towards him and smiled as I said, "Here you go sweetheart, now will you stay out of my flowers?" He excitedly grabbed the nut and then once again, just sat there looking at me.

I thanked him for letting me help out and told him that if he ever needed my assistance again, to just let me know. I said I'd be happy to do the "digging" for him, since I could help save my flowers that way. He turned around to leave twice, and both times changed his mind after a step or two and walked back towards me. He was so calm and peaceful and I could feel his gratitude. It may sound odd but I think we both felt like we had made a new friend that day.

Riding Grief Waves Through Synchronicities

Sadly a client of mine has had an enormous amount of grief to deal with in the last five years. She lost one of her beloved dogs, then she lost her husband, then she lost another one of her beloved dogs. Her remaining dog was like her lifeline. He was the thing that kept her going, her reason for getting up in the morning. So, this summer when she lost him, her final dog, she was consumed with grief.

The emails she sent me and phone conversations we had in the weeks that followed made my heart heavy. She spoke of her deep despair and her fear that she had nothing left to live for. She worried that she would be consumed by the grief she was experiencing. She told me she was unable to stop crying, unable to eat or sleep or even get herself in the shower. 

I kept encouraging her to give it time, to just feel what she was feeling and give herself the space to honor and process all the things she was feeling. I honored her feelings and did my best to just be there for her and show her compassion so she knew she wasn't alone.

In one conversation we had, she asked me how I managed to still function without Lucky and I told her of the dream I had after Lucky died. In the dream, she told me she was going to come back to me as a german shepherd named Chance. I explained that it gave me something to look forward to, knowing my life would one day be filled with the love of a special companion again. It didn't immediately make her feel better, but it gave her something to think about.

Several weeks after that particular conversation, I got an email from her telling me of the exciting events that had been unfolding in her life. She ran into a gal she hadn't seen in years, who encouraged her to check out a rottweiler rescue site she knew about. She felt compelled to check out the website, even though she wasn't sure she was ready for another dog. When she got on the site, there was a rottweiler on the front page named Chance. She took it a sign and immediately filled out an adoption application.

The next weekend, she drove to the woman's house (the lady that had the rescue dogs) and much to her surprise, she and Chance didn't connect at all . . . but there was another dog there, a dog named Chuck and as she put it "it was love at first sight."  The rescue gal knew immediately that they were a perfect fit. Chuck couldn't take his eyes off my client as they walked around the yard in perfect harmony. She said she felt a major connection with him.

You could feel the excitement bubbling out of her email . . . the words sprang off the page as she wrote about the contentment she felt as she drove home with him in her car . . . how she knew they belonged together and how much joy she felt in her heart. She felt she had a purpose again, a reason to be happy and to wake up each morning. She sensed that Chuck was exactly what she needed in her life.

Since then, I have received many heart warming emails from her, keeping me up to date on the adventures she and Chuck have been having. It is so wonderful to see her happy again, to feel her joy. While she still feels the loss of her husband and three dogs, she is embracing this new chapter in her life and is enjoying it as it unfolds.

It has reminded me of the fact that for each of us, there is a 'right' time to get another animal after we have lost one. For some of us, we may need to wait months or years before we are 'ready' again and for others, the 'right' time is much sooner. No one can tell you what is right, you just need to follow your own heart and trust your own instincts. 

 I do believe we are guided to the 'right next step' on our paths . . . we just need to stay opened and pay attention to the synchronicities as they present themselves.

Available kitties!

Do you ever wonder about the feral cats in your neighborhood? Do you ever wonder what happens to the litters of kittens they have each year? Fortunately, there are kind-hearted people out there who do what they can to help the feral cat population and I have had the pleasure of knowing one of these wonderful people. She is making a real difference with the cats in her neighborhood and I am dedicating this weeks blog to her and the wonderful work she does.

She goes out of her way to spay and neuter the feral cats in her neighborhood, to try to help ease the over population problem. When a feral cat does have a litter of kittens, she takes care of the kittens, helps them to feel safe and to become comfortable with people. Then she finds them new loving homes so they can learn what it is like to live in a house full of kindness. Most importantly, she treats every one of these feral cats with dignity and respect. She does everything she can to help them . . . she is a wonderful guardian to all the cats whose path cross hers.

I don't think it is any accident that all the feral cats in her neighborhood started showing up in her yard month after month, year after year. After all, animals are smart. They know who is kind and they know where to go when they need help. They are savvy enough to know that Christa's house is a good place to go if they need food, medical treatment or if they just need to feel safe.

Christa has been looking for homes for the latest groups of "fosters." She put together a wonderful blog with pictures of the kitties currently looking for homes, and a description about each one of them. I am including the link to her blog, so that you can look at the precious kitties who are in need of new homes. Maybe you know someone who is looking for a new cat. Maybe you are looking for one yourself, or just maybe you'll meet someone in the next day or the next week who is looking for a cat and you can direct them to Christa's website.

These kittens have all been well taken care of and they are ready to find their forever homes. Can you help them find their new forever home? Take a look at Christa's website and see what you may be able to do to help. http://tabbyornottabby.blogspot.com/

Animals roles in our lives evolve

My neighbor invited me into her house the other day to look at the home improvement projects they had recently completed. We were busy looking at bathroom fixtures and light fixtures and I had been in the house at least 5-10 minutes when their dog Cricket finally realized I was there. (He had been sound asleep and his hearing doesn't work too well anymore, as he is over 15 years old, so he didn't know someone had come in). Once he saw me though, it was all wags and kisses and I spent some time giving him love and attention.

As I was petting him, my neighbor said, "He isn't much of a guard dog anymore, is he?" She went on to describe how someone could break into the house and he'd never know, etc. I felt bad for Cricket and didn't want him to feel that he was being criticized, so with a smile on my face I gently said, "Maybe that's not his job anymore . . . maybe he has another job."

I wasn't sure how my neighbor was going to respond . . . she was quiet for a minute or two . . . and then she said, "You know, I think you are right. His job is to take care of my daughter and he does a wonderful job."

It made me smile in a deep, from the toes sort of way. Her daughter is five years old and I love seeing she and Cricket together. They are the best of friends. There are times where I am in my backyard and she and Cricket are in their backyard and I find myself fighting back giggles when I hear her conversations with him.

She talks to him constantly, plays with him, lays with him, sneaks him extra treats when no one is looking, etc. Cricket gives her constant companionship, he makes her laugh, lets her do just about anything to him and he is happy to play along.

It made me happy to know that Cricket's mom was seeing that he does have another job to do now and it's probably more important than being a guard dog. I believe that the impact he is having on her daughters life right now, will stay with her and remain a positive for the rest of her life.

It got me thinking about the fact that the role our animals play in our lives can change and evolve over time . . . based on our needs. They may come into our lives to teach us something and once we've learned what they came to teach us, they may teach us something else, or they may play a role in another family members life or non-family members lives.

Several years ago, I met a woman whose dog had gone blind at a very early age. I remember her telling me that he still loved to play fetch in the water with sticks. She told me stories about the people they met who were astounded that he could find a stick in the water, even without being able to see. She told me that she thought part of his job was to help people see that it was possible to still life a full life, even with a disability. When they first adopted him, they had other expectations for the role he would play in their lives, but she fully embraced the new role he began to play after he lost his sight.

The one thing that I always trust is that animals know . . . they know why they are here, and they know what is needed most, even if we don't see it at the time. What magical creatures they are and what a blessing it is for us to have them in our lives.

Dream Interpretations

Sometimes our dreams just seem weird and don't seem to make any sense at all, but because I believe our dreams offer us a multitude of insight into what is going on in our subconscious mind, I have been more inspired lately to try to understand what my dreams are telling me, regardless of how weird they are. :-)

It all started a few months ago, when I was telling a good friend of mine about a recurring dream that I was having again. We couldn't figure out what it meant but shortly after our conversation, she came across a website, www.dreambible.com and told me about it. I was blown away the first time I used it, as I plugged in various elements of my recurring dream and over and over, my jaw dropped as I saw what each element meant. It painted a picture so clear, there was no denying what my subconscious mind had been trying to show me.

This website has opened the door to understanding more of the dreams that I could never make sense of . . . and from that, I found the insights and guidance my dreams had been trying to give me. I have found myself consulting the website several times a week lately, to understand symbols from new dreams that I am having and seeing what gems are there for me.

However, sometimes we may not think there is a need to analyze our dreams. If our dream seems pretty straightforward, we can assume that there is no way to misinterpret it's meaning, but on occasion, our dream may not be telling us what we think it is telling us.

Recently, I had a session with some former clients of mine and their new puppy. Losing their previous dog was incredibly hard on them and I think they feared their hearts would stay broken forever, but when this new puppy entered their lives, he showed them that it was OK to smile again.

The puppy, while he appeared to just be goofy, mischievous and full of life, carried some deep sadness inside him and a feeling of responsibility and guilt I couldn't quite put my finger on. They told me he had been the only survivor of a litter of twelve puppies and then it all started to make sense. He felt guilty that all of his siblings had passed away, and that he had been the only one to survive. He carried a burden that he should have or could have done more to try to keep the rest of the litter alive.

I worked with him, to try to help him release those feelings of responsibility and guilt. I talked to him about the fact that there was a reason that he survived, that he must have very important work to do here and reminded him that life here is meant to be enjoyed.

Even though I could feel a lightness come back to the puppy, I could sense that his mom was still feeling a heaviness in her own heart. I asked her what was going on, as I was picking up worry and concern from her but I didn't understand why. She told me that several times, since they adopted him, she had vivid dreams of ME holding him. She said in the dreams, he seemed very content to be with me and she worried it was a sign that *I* was supposed to be the one who adopted him, not she and her husband. She admitted that she felt a little bit of guilt that maybe they had adopted a puppy who was meant for me.

While I could understand how she had interpreted the dream that way, I also knew in my heart that what the dream meant was that he wanted to have a session with me, to help him heal the sadness he carried in his heart. I knew he wasn't supposed to be MY dog, but instead my client. I believed someone was telling her, in her dream, that it would help him to see me, but she had misinterpreted the dream.

As I explained to her what my interpretation of her dream was, and how I sensed that someone wanted her to bring this little guy to see me, so he could release that sadness now, and live a life free of that pain . . . I could feel a lightness come back to her. She let go of the worry she had been holding for the last few months and embraced the idea that he really was supposed to be with she and her husband.

I felt bad that she had carried that worry around for so many months but I also trust that everything happens for a reason and I knew the important thing was that they had come to see me. Not only had we been able to help their new puppy, but we had also been able to put that worry to rest for her.

Our dreams occur *for* us, to give us insights and guidance, to help us heal the past and take the right steps in the present. I really believe they are a gift. I hope you will allow your dreams to guide you as well.

Communicating with my mom

A few weeks ago, my dad asked me to come over to the house and look through my mom's clothes. He wanted to see if there was anything of hers I wanted before he began donating anything. Given that it has only been four months since my mom passed away, I wasn't sure who I was more worried about . . . me or my dad. I knew it was going to be potentially overwhelming for both of us.

Much to my surprise and relief, it ended up being a very pleasant experience. First of all, we only went through one of her closets and one dresser. When I realized my dad was going to take his time with this, I felt so much calmer. It was a relief that we didn't go through everything, especially since my mom has three closets, plus my old childhood bedroom that was basically turned into a walk-in closet. (To say my mom loved clothes and loved to shop is a giant understatement). I felt good knowing this wasn't "it" - we weren't going to be closing this chapter for a while. Secondly, we talked a lot, which I don't always get to do with my dad. We shared stories about my mom, laughed a bit, and talked a lot about her wonderful sense of style. It was a relaxing and enjoyable evening and it felt good to have a few things of my mom's to remember her by.

The next night, I went over to my friend Sue's house to see she and her puppies (my god children), Mingus and Nina. They are seven months old now and growing non-stop. They are absolutely darling. So full of energy and developing their own distinct personalities. Mingus goes back and forth between being sweet and silly and then being stubborn. We joked that he is taking after Sue's boyfriend Steve. Nina, on the other hand is often more serious, more contemplative, which is more like Sue. They both go back and forth between being totally wild and crazy and then peaceful and angelic. Typical puppies I suppose. :-)

While we were in the backyard playing with the puppies, I told Sue about my experience the night before. She was equally glad that it ended up being a positive experience, as she knew I was worried about whether or not it would be too overwhelming for my dad and I. Later in the evening, when we were having dinner, she and I were talking about how I keep hearing "In the air tonight" and how I know it's my mom letting me know she is around. All of the sudden, I thought "Wow, that's really odd that I didn't hear the song when I left my dad's house that night." I mentioned it to Sue and she agreed that it seemed strange that, of all times, my mom wouldn't let me know she was around when we had been going through her clothes. I joked with Sue that I hoped it wasn't a sign she was upset over the items I chose to take home.

That night, when I was leaving Sue's house, I had made a U-turn in front of her house, and as I reached up to wave goodbye to Sue, with the other hand, I hit a button on the radio and boom - there is was - the first couple notes of 'In the air tonight." I had a grin on my face a mile wide as I drove down the street. I thanked my mom for checking in and letting me know she had heard me.

The next weekend, I was heading over to my dad's house again, this time for a block party on their street. My family has lived in that house for over forty years and several of the families that we grew up with still live there as well. All three of us kids made a point of going to the block party this year so that my dad wouldn't be alone. We knew it could potentially bring up a lot of memories of mom and we wanted to be there to support him. As I pulled into the development, I was thinking about the fact that I haven't seen most of these neighbors since my mom's funeral and wondered if it would be awkward. And then, as if on cue, "In the Air Tonight" came on the radio. I said out loud, "Oh good mom, I am glad you are going to be at the block party as well."

It felt good to know she was there and it made it easy to talk about her in casual conversation . . . like when my dad said, "We don't really need a table cloth do we?" and I said, "You know what mom would say." He just smiled and pulled the table cloth back out out of the drawer. Even though she isn't still physically here, it only seemed right to still follow her etiquette rules. :-)

A Little Communication Can Go A Long Way

Last Saturday night, I got home after being out for the evening. I decided to check email before I went to bed and I found an email from my friend Judy. We consider each other good friends, as we have known each other for probably 11 years, although we have never met in person.

We first connected when she and her husband adopted a german shepherd puppy named Angus from a rescue organization. Angus was having some issues but they weren't getting any support from their rescue group, so they decided to try another german shepherd rescue group. I happened to be volunteering for a group here at the time and worked the "hotline" (picking up messages from our main number and returning people's calls). We hit it off immediately and I became friends with Judy and her husband, and of course, developed a connection with Angus too. Over the last 11 years, we've stayed in touch, sometimes more than others, but always knowing we'll be there for each other if one of us needs something.

So back to the email . . . she said she was very concerned about Angus, because he hadn't been wanting to eat for the last week or so. She asked if I could do something to help them. It was late and I was tired, so I knew it was best to do an official session with him in the morning after I got some rest, but I decided to at least check in with Angus before I went to sleep.

When I connected to him I felt some pain in my lower right jaw that felt like a tooth ache. I made a mental note to mention that to Judy the next day and then focused on telling him what was going on. I explained that his mom had contacted me and that she was very worried about the fact that he hadn't been wanting to eat, fearful that it was something serious. I told him that I was going to check back in with him in the morning for a 2 way conversation, but wanted to give him a heads up that I was going to do that and let him know his mom wanted to know what was going on with him.

The next morning, when I got on the computer there was an email from Judy waiting for me. She said she was sure that I must have already communicated with Angus because when she got up in the middle of the night to use the restroom, Angus followed her in there and then kept pushing his face into hers. At first she was slightly annoyed but Angus wouldn't let up. Eventually, she looked more closely at his mouth and noticed some puss on his gums. Upon closer inspection, she realized his tooth was infected.

After reading the email, I immediately called her and we compared notes. Sure enough, the tooth that looked infected was in the lower right part of his mouth, where I had felt some discomfort. She asked what time I communicated with him and I told her it was around midnight. She laughed and said, "Well that makes sense, I think it was about 1am when I got up to use the restroom." We laughed over the idea that Angus must have decided he could handle the communication with his mom and didn't need to wait until the next day when I connected with him again.

After thinking about it, Judy realized that Angus had been "getting in her face" a lot lately but she didn't put it together until now. He had probably been trying to show her his tooth, but she didn't get "the message" he was trying to deliver . . . that is until the night before when he was even more insistent than he had previously been.

It reminded me that animals really do try to communicate on their own. Sure, it's great that there are animal communicators out there to assist in delivering messages, but I think they would probably prefer to be able to talk to their guardians themselves. If only we could "hear" them better! :-)