Honoring Bood

I talk a lot in my blog about how it can help our grieving process if we honor an animal's life, instead of focusing on their death, so with that in mind, I am doing a extra blog entry this week to honor the life of a very special cat who passed away yesterday. I am hoping that by writing about her life and her beautiful spirit, that it will help with the grief I am experiencing myself over her passing. I miss this sweet girl as much as I would if she were my own. There was something very special about her and I will hold a place in my heart for her forever.

Bood was a client of mine for over a year and a half. She graced the world with her presence for 18 years and had been living an incredibly good life, in spite of a cancer diagnosis a year and a half ago. She was one of most precious cats I have ever known.

We called her the Reiki Sponge because she was the first animal I ever met who just couldn't seem to get enough Reiki. She would soak it up and soak it up and almost look disappointed when the treatment was over. She was also very clear about where she wanted my hands and throughout the treatment, she would move around in my lap, laying on one side, then the other side, moving forwards and backwards, as if to say "Ok, I want some Reiki here now." The room where she always received her Reiki treatments at her guardian's house was dubbed the "Reiki room" and Bood would often go in there an hour before I even arrived at her house, as if she was saying, "Ok, I'm ready whenever she gets here!"

I used to affectionately tease her over the fact that I thought she had many "dog" qualities, i.e. she used to make this sweet groaning sound when she stretched that is similar to what dogs often do. She was also incredibly affectionate. While some cats aren't too interested in being touched for too long, she was a love-bug and would sit in your lap for hours.

She possessed a depth and a wisdom that made me believe she was a very old soul. I often felt very humbled in her presence, as I sensed she understood things that even I have yet to understand. She was very independent and proud and determined. She didn't want to be helped, even when she was struggling to get around in her final weeks.

In the last few months, she had often not been making it to the litter box. Her mom put some pee-pads down, thinking that maybe it was just too difficult for her to step into a litter box. It hadn't helped much and yet, in her final days, even when she was barely able to walk, she somehow managed to get herself over to the pee-pads every single time. Her mom was curious about that, so I asked Bood the last night I was with her and she told me that she wanted to leave her mom with a good memory, she wanted her mom to remember that she always tried to do the right thing. I couldn't stop the tears from flowing when she told me that. It was so symbolic of who she was.

In the days leading up to her passing, her mom and I were in touch a lot, as it is such a difficult time when you know the end is coming and you are filled with everything from dread to sadness to fear, etc. I didn't want her to feel alone with it. We had expected Bood to pass several days earlier but she just wasn't ready to go yet. As I wrote about in my last entry, I believe animals come into our lives to fulfill a purpose and only they know when they have completed their mission here on earth. Bood obviously had a few more things to wrap up before she was ready to go, so she hung in there until early Monday morning.

Through our conversations, her mom tearfully recounted all the positive ways Bood had impacted her life and the members of her family. It was impossible not to be in awe of what this precious little cat had been able to accomplish in her 18 years. Understandably, her mom was overwhelmed with gratitude when she looked at all the ways Bood had impacted their lives and changed things for the better . . . and just hearing about the things Bood had been instrumental in making happen made my own heart swelled with gratitude.

While I feel a great loss from her passing, I trust that her work here on earth was done, and she knew it was alright for her to go. I am sure that she will continue to watch over her mom and make sure that she is ok. Their bond was incredibly strong and beautiful and I don't believe that death can sever that bond.

I will never forget Bood. It was an honor and a joy to work with her and I will always hold a very special place in my heart for her.

Ionized Water

I am happy to report that Lucky and I had a much better week this week. After all our difficulty last week, I was even more appreciative of an easier, more peaceful week for the two of us.

Lucky's arms were working better and seemed to hurt less, my back barely hurt at all and her yeast infection is almost completely cleared up. No one threw up this week, or had any accidents and we both slept more soundly at night. Lucky has had more energy, has seemed more alert, and has definitely been more vocal, which always brings a smile to my face.

I don't know how much of that to attribute to the ionized water we're drinking, but it must have something to do with it because that's the only thing I can think of that we're doing differently. Well, I think the yeast infection cleared up because of the coconut oil that I decided to try rubbing on her tummy and thighs but all the other positives we experienced this week seem to be related to the ionized water. Our new friend George dropped off another 5 gallon bottle to us yesterday to keep us hydrated for another week. We're going to keep drinking it and see what else we notice.

Lucky is still going to water therapy several times a week to keep her body moving and to give her the cardio workout that she needs, since she isn't getting a whole lot of other exercise these days. She still enjoys it, even if she is more serious when she is in the water than most of the other dogs. I guess there is no way to turn off the "working dog" part of her and she takes her "work" in the pool very seriously, as she focuses hard on moving her body and getting as much out of it as possible. Here she is on Friday in between swims, enjoying some water and the scorching heat. (well, I don't know if she was enjoying the scorching heat, but she was at least tolerating it). :-)

This week was such a nice contrast to last week. We had more moments of levity, Lucky had a fantastic appetite so there was no stress involved in getting her to eat and she was interested in moving around the house a lot this week. We have a system worked out where when she wants to move, she sits up . . and after about a minute or so, if I haven't noticed that she is sitting up waiting for my assistance, she barks at me. I have promised her that as soon as she barks, I will respond. So, my job is to get over to her quickly, lift up her back end and hold it up while she walks to wherever she wants to walk. Well, my other job is to move as fast as she is, which lately has been very fast again, so I am grateful that my back is feeling better, as it makes it much easier to keep up with her. I've stopped questioning her choices because I realized it was silly to say "Why do you want to go here?" because the answer was always the equivalent of "Because I want to."

This is one of Lucky's new favorite places to sit . . . between the couch and the coffee table. It has always been where she lays when I am sitting on the couch eating dinner, which happens more often than I'd like to admit, but the truth is, most nights that is exactly where I eat dinner and Lucky always patiently waits for me to share some of what I am eating with her. The funny thing is, she has wanted to go there 4-5 times a day lately and I often feel compelled to get us something to eat, since that has always been our routine. It dawned on me the other day that I might end up gaining a whole lot of weight if I eat every time Lucky wants us to sit in front of the couch, so I am trying to find other things to do, like respond to emails or read a book when Lucky chooses that as her new location.

I think the important thing is that she is interested in being in different places around the house, whether she is after a change of scenery or likes the small bits of exercise or that she's just hoping we'll eat again. I am happy to help her move any time she wants and since I am out of pain now, it is a joy to assist her.

Lately, some people have questioned Lucky's "quality of life" . . . wondering if it's "fair" to her to keep her here if she needs so much help getting around, etc . . . suggesting that maybe I was keeping her here for me but I can say with a high degree of confidence that Lucky does still want to be here and she doesn't seem to have any issue with her quality of life. I know that I am in tune with her enough that I will know when she doesn't want to be here anymore.

It brings up another belief of mine, which people may or may not share, but I believe that animals come into our lives for a purpose and only they know for sure when their 'purpose' is complete. I personally believe that we should allow our animals every opportunity to live, given that we don't know what they are in the process of accomplishing, what gifts they are in the process of bestowing on those around them.

This point hit home with me earlier this week when I met a really nice woman who has a 13 year old dog who has been blind since she was young dog. I can't remember the exact age that her dog went blind, but I want to say it was either age 3 or age 6. Anyway, the woman told me that many people questioned her decision to keep her dog all these years, given how much work it is for her to help her dog and be the "seeing-eye person" that assists her.

During our conversation, she relayed a story to me about the people they have encountered when they are out at a local lake. She told me how in awe people have been of her dog when they find out she is blind, because up until recently, she was still diving in the water to retrieve sticks. She told me about one person in particular who got really choked up and said that the experience of meeting them changed his life. He said that seeing her blind dog swim after sticks in the water inspired him to not be held back by his own challenges. He never told her what his particular challenges were, but she was left with the wonderful feeling of knowing that her sweet dog had changed that man's life.

If she had decided to put her dog to sleep all those years ago, because of a "quality of life" issue, she and her dog would have never had the opportunity to change that man's life. It makes me more firmly believe that maybe our animals have a mission here on earth that we need to just trust and support, regardless of whether or not we understand it. Has it been difficult for this woman to care for a blind dog all these years? Of course, it has presented her with many challenges and yet from talking to her, it was clear she wouldn't have wanted to miss out on all the years they have had together. She is honoring her dog and allowing her to have whatever impact she is meant to have on the world, whether that impact is on her immediate family or on the strangers that they meet at the lake.

It puts a whole new spin on the term "quality of life" for me. When are animals are compromised in some way, and we continue to love them, honor them and support them, who knows what the impact will be or how far reaching the lessons learned will extend. I continue to believe that animals are a blessing, that they are here to do important work and if we give them the space to do what they came here to do, we can bare witness to some awe inspiring outcomes. Since Lucky is still telling me she wants to be here, I can only guess that her mission here on earth isn't complete yet. I don't know if I am the one who has more to learn, or if her impact will be on friends of mine, or strangers that we meet. All I know is, I believe she still has a purpose and I am going to do everything I can to support her until her mission is complete.

Pain and new options

This was a particularly challenging week for Lucky and I. There were quite a few moments where I wasn't feeling particularly "lucky" and then other moments where I thought maybe we were "lucky" after all. Seven days later, I think we are both feeling content . . . a little battered but not without hope.

It all started last Monday night when I threw my back out. We were out in the yard on her last potty trip before bed, when as I struggled to hold her up, I felt something pop in my back. I wasn't able to stand up straight but I managed to get us both back in the house and into bed. I hoped that a good nights sleep would help my back and that by morning everything would be OK again.

During the night, as the pain grew worse and worse, I had a feeling Tuesday was going to be a difficult day. As morning came, I finally gave up trying to sleep and with some degree of difficulty, got myself out of bed. I attempted to help Lucky stand up so we could get out to the kitchen for breakfast but I could barely move. I managed to lift up her hips and get an arm under her torso but as she walked forward and I went down. After several more attempts, I finally got us into the kitchen. I tried to lean down to pick up her water bowl, so I could fill it with fresh water but couldn't reach it. I got down on my knees and was able to pick up the bowl, but then couldn't get back up. When I finally got up and refilled the bowl with water, I couldn't bend over far enough to put the bowl in front of her. I finally got down on my knees again and was able to push the bowl over in front of her. One accomplishment down, but there was still food, medicine, my own coffee, another potty trip to the yard . . . I didn't know how I was going to get through it all.

Writing about it now, it's almost comical, but at the time, I felt like our world was caving in around me. My "job" is to take care of her and it's a job that I have always done without even thinking about it. It's what I do . . . and to suddenly not be able to do it anymore was such an awful feeling. I kept trying to suck it up and carry on but I could feel myself unraveling as the pain increased with each movement. Once we managed to get through breakfast, I knew I needed to get her outside to go potty and I had no idea how I was going to pull that off. After some awkward maneuvering, I was able to get her up and get the sling underneath her but I couldn't stand back up and each step made me wince in pain . . . then not wincing so much but bordering on howling in pain. As we tried to make out way out the back door and down the steps, Lucky started to lose her balance and I couldn't stop her from falling. Then I couldn't stop myself from crying. When I finally got her back up, I could tell that we had injured her arms in the fall . . . her arms that were finally getting better and now she was limping again and could barely use her arms to steady herself. Her right arm was worse than the left so we kept walking to the right instead of straight, which was jarring my back even more, thus more tears and more whimpering.

I felt horrible in every way imaginable. I felt horrible physically, horrible because I couldn't take care of my dog, horrible because I had injured her when my primary goal in life is to help her, horrible because I didn't know how we were going to get through the rest of the day and I had no idea how long this pain would last. It was a day of defeat for me. Being sleep deprived and in pain certainly made the picture look more bleak and I did more than my share of crying that day.

But in the midst of the pain and tears, we got a most interesting phone call. A guy called and said "Hi, my name is George and I am a friend of Sara's. She wants me to bring you some ionized water to try with Lucky." I had heard of ionized water but didn't really know anything about it and yet, I was opened to hearing what he had to say because something about it felt cosmically orchestrated.

Sara is a friend of ours who lives in southern California. We've never actually met Sara but we had our first phone conversation the day after I adopted Lucky 13 1/2 years ago. She saw the story of Lucky and her adoption on the news and she called to wish us the best in our new life together. We have kept in touch over the years, with occasional cards and phone calls. A little over a year ago, she called out of the blue to tell me that she had been thinking a lot about Lucky and was worried something was wrong. It was a couple weeks after I discovered Lucky had cancer. We've always had this "connection" with Sara, even though we've never even met one another.

So, I ask George what ionized water could do for us and as he is rattling off the list of things it can help with, one of the items caught my attention . . . "joint pain and inflammation." . . . I asked him if he could tell me more about that and he explained that since he started to drink the ionized water, he stopped having back pain. hmm . . . maybe this water was as much for me as it was for Lucky! He said he wanted to drive down from Sacramento to deliver some of this water to us in a day or so. I was in shock that he would drive that far to deliver something to someone he had never met before. He said he didn't mind at all and that it was important to Sara, so it was important to him to get this water to Lucky. I didn't even bother to question whether it was something we should try. The way that it unfolded was enough to tell me that maybe something larger than myself had a hand in making it all come together as it did.

It was something to look forward to, but we still needed to get through the next couple of days. Lucky and I took turns with the ice pack, later in the day a friend came by and gave me a back massage to try and get the muscles in my lower back to loosen up. It definitely helped, and I was able to move enough to get down on the floor and give Lucky a shoulder and arm massage and give her a Reiki treatment. I was still in a lot of pain but I was hopeful that Wednesday was going to be a better day. Those hopes were dashed in the middle of the night when the pain became so intense again, I wasn't able to sleep. I laid there in bed worrying . . . worrying that the pain would never go away, worrying that I wouldn't be able to take care of Lucky, or worse yet, that I would hurt her again by not being able to hold her up properly, worrying that I wouldn't be able to make it to my client appointments on Wednesday. It's interesting what pain can do to a person . . . for me who is a pretty positive person (I've been called "unbendingly optimistic") :-) . . . the pain made it almost impossible for me to think of the positive, and that's not a place I like to be. I tried giving myself Reiki but it was difficult because I couldn't find a comfortable position to stay in for more than 5 minutes at a time. It was a long night.

The night before and the previous day, I would say my pain level was at a 10 or 11 on a scale of 1-10 but once I got up on Wednesday, the pain was only about an 8. That was definitely more manageable but it was still another long day, with Lucky and I taking turns with the ice packs. Her arms weren't doing much better, so we were having more difficulty getting around and she seemed so wiped out. All she wanted to do was sleep. She was so out of it when she was awake that I started to wonder if she was going to leave. Her eyes had lost their sparkle and in the rare moments where she was awake, she didn't look like she was happy to be here anymore. It was a version of Lucky I had never seen before. I didn't want her to pass away that day, not when I was feeling so bad about my inability to take proper care of her.

We were somehow able to get through the day though. Our trips to the yard didn't involve either of us falling, even if they weren't the most comfortable journeys for either of us. I was able to make it to my client appointments and almost hide how much pain I was in. Wednesday night was another rough night of little sleep and lots of pain, but I was pleased when I woke up on Thursday morning . . . . Lucky was still here and my pain level was around 7. George arrived that afternoon with a very large bottle of ionized water. As with most alternative approaches, you never know what kind of results you will get. So much of it depends on the individual and their own unique body chemistry but I was game to give it a try. After a nice visit with George, I filled Lucky's bowl with the special water and poured a glass for myself. I didn't have any expectations really . . . I figured I'd just see what I noticed in the two of us over the course of the next few days.

The first thing I noticed was that night, Lucky didn't look like she was drugged anymore. She had a little bit of a sparkle back in her eye and she was interested in sharing whatever I was eating, which she hadn't been doing for the previous couple of days. I continued with the ionized water. By the next afternoon, she was able to use her arms to sit up, something she hadn't been able to do since we took our spill on Tuesday morning. She was still having trouble laying back down but the fact that she could sit up again was a huge improvement. My own pain level dropped to a 5. Not bad for water, huh??

Lucky's arms haven't improved dramatically since then, but her energy level is definitely back up. This morning she even "sang to me" to wake me up, something else she hadn't done recently. Another plus is, I'm not crying or swearing when I lift her in and out of the car, or helping her out to the yard to go potty. (I'm sure my neighbors appreciate this) :-)

I'm still putting ice packs on Lucky's shoulders to help ease her discomfort and I realized that she is more comfortable right now if I put a pillow for her to rest her head on. Here's a picture I took of her resting while she was getting her ice pack treatment. I know she's feeling better because when I have been upstairs on the computer and come back down, I am finding her in a different position than when I left. Earlier this week, she didn't even bother trying to move, so the water must be doing something for her.

I don't think the water is going to cure her cancer and her hip dysplasia and give her another 5 years with me but it's nice to know that it is helping her feel better and that's the most important thing to me right now. It also feels good to be well enough to care for her properly, as it was a terrible place to be earlier this week, when I felt I was letting her down by not being able to take care of her.

And I am feeling blessed that we have Sara in our lives (and George too). It reminds me that support can come to us from anywhere, at any time. Was it just a coincidence that Sara asked George to contact us at the same time my back went out and Lucky got hurt? Was it a coincidence that Sara happened to be watching the news the night Lucky's adoption was on TV? When I think about all the little pieces that fell into place to bring this all together, it's hard not to believe there are larger things at play in the world . . . things we may not be able to fully understand yet they are happening none the less. All I know is, I feel blessed.

Animals DO get mad

Sometimes people get confused about the emotional side of animals and have a difficult time squaring up all the different things we hear about what animals feel. They find that the things they believe about animals are occasionally in direct conflict with other things they believe about animals.

The title of my blog this week is "Animals DO get mad" and they do . . . and for some people that doesn't seem to gel with the idea that animals love us unconditionally, that they are just happy all the time, happy to be with us, thrilled when we walk in the door (ok, maybe that isn't what everyone believes about cats) :-) but it's difficult sometimes to embrace the idea that if our animals feel, then they have the capacity to feel all the things we feel, and that includes being irritated or mad at times.

I think the difference with animals is that they seem to get over it more quickly, forgive more quickly. They don't hold grudges. They can be mad one moment and then be finished with the feeling. Often times all it takes is for someone to acknowledge their feelings or explain something to them and then they feel content again. I think that is why they are generally peaceful and happy. They may be irritated from time to time or get their feelings hurt, but they don't stay stuck there, as far as I can tell.

But still, sometimes it's hard for us to believe that they get upset, especially if they are upset with us. Years ago when I was in the presence of another animal communicator, I was talking to her about my beliefs about animals and I said something about some breeds of dogs being smarter than other breeds. She stopped and said, "Lucky is upset with you for saying that" and I was thinking "What? Lucky's mad at me? How is that possible, with all the nice things I do for her. :-) It wasn't like I said German Shepherds are dumb."

The communicator told me that Lucky believed all animals are equally intelligent and that the only difference is in how they are treated. If they are treated like they are smart and will catch on quickly to things, then they usually do. If they are treated like they are dumb, they don't bother to let their intelligence shine through. She said Lucky was upset that I didn't realize that all animals were equally intelligent.

I am happy to say I have learned a lot about animals since then and have since grown to share Lucky's belief. I'm embarrassed that I used to misunderstand animals that way. I don't even know where I learned that. I'm just happy that I got "re-educated" even if it was with a bit of a sting at the time. It took me a few days to wrap my mind around the idea that Lucky could be mad at me but once I understood that, it seemed to shift our whole relationship onto a new level. I saw her in a different light and was much more conscious of the things I said and how she reacted. It changed the way I looked at ALL animals and helped me understand the magnitude of what they were capable of.

I continue to see evidence of other animals being upset and it still makes me smile, because it is a reminder of their emotional capacity and how much richer our relationships with animals can be when we more fully embrace the depth of their emotional experience.

Just today, I was giving a dog a Reiki treatment and I asked her guardian about her birthday last weekend. I knew some friends of hers were throwing a party for her at a park, so I asked how the party was. Just then I could feel irritation from her dog. When I tuned in, what I got from the dog was that she was mad that she hadn't been able to go to the party. In her mind, since the party was at a park, she should have been able to go. When I told her guardian what I was picking up, she smiled and nodding in a "knowing" sort of way, letting me know she wasn't entirely surprised to hear her dog was upset. She explained that this particular park didn't allow dogs. At first I felt resistance from her dog and could sense she didn't believe her guardian because she believed dogs were allowed at all parks as long as they were on leash and well behaved. Her guardian explained to her that this particular park didn't allow dogs because there were a lot of deer at the park and other wildlife . . . and I immediately felt contentment run through her dog's body. She heard it, she understood it and she was no longer mad about being left at home when her mom went to the park for her party.

Sometimes animals get irritated because there is a change in the home and no one bothered to give them a heads up about it. It could be the arrival of a new animal, the departure of a family member, or where their bed got moved. Animals just want us to explain things to them. Once we do, they are content again.

I have worked with many animals who were having "behavioral problems" that started once a new animal was brought into the household. Usually, all it takes is for their guardian and I to acknowledge their feelings and explain how things are going to be different or the same now that the new animal is there, and miraculously the "behavior problems" go away. As I said, they can "get over things" quickly once someone acknowledges their feelings and helps them understand what is going on.

Our animals also get mad at us sometimes or feel let down if we aren't taking care of ourselves or we're letting other people hurt us. They don't stay mad, but they certainly have feelings about it. I had one client whose cat was sick and I was giving her frequent Reiki treatments. One particular day, I could feel anger coming from the cat, which I had never picked up before. I asked her guardian what had been going on around the house, and at first, he wasn't offering up much. The sense I got was that someone was being taken advantage of but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Finally, her "dad" told me that his girlfriend hadn't been treating him very lately but that he wasn't doing anything about it. Finally, the pieces fell into place and I explained that his cat was upset that he wasn't standing up for himself and that she would be much happier if he didn't let this gal walk all over him anymore. His reaction was a mixture of gratitude, amusement and disbelief. Months later, after the girlfriend had moved out, he confessed to me that he was still stunned (and very touched) that his cat cared that much about how he was being treated.

This leads to another interesting thing about the work I do. I am usually contacted initially to help an animal, but the majority of the time, the guardian ends up getting help as well. I probably coach the humans as much as I communicate with the animals. I find that I partner with the guardians to help the animals, and I partner with the animals to help the guardians . . . and it makes the work I do even more gratifying.

If you aren't already embracing the depth of your animal's emotional capacity, I hope you will begin to move in that direction. There is so much we can learn from animals if we're willing to "listen" to them, observe them and give them credit for all they have to offer us.

And now, an update on Lucky, since so many of you are checking in weekly to find out how she is doing. (We really appreciate all the kindness and support during this more difficult part of the journey).

Honestly, it was a pretty rough week. Lucky's front legs started to give her some problems and often times she could only take 1-2 steps at a time before she was unable to move any further. It made it very challenging for us to get around, as we both depend on her front end to be strong, so that I can focus on holding up her back end. I had no idea why her front end was so weak all of the sudden. There were so many possibilities . . . she could have pulled a muscle or tweaked something, or it could have been because I ran out of her joint support medicine and tried a different brand, or it could be that her front half is just giving out because it's been doing so much of the work for so long. Without any way to know for sure what the cause was, I felt pretty helpless. She has been getting daily massages, daily Reiki treatments and ice packs on her shoulders but things weren't improving. I got her old joint support medicine and started her on it again yesterday. Too soon to tell if that was the culprit. At this point, I just have to wait and see if she improves. It's one thing I am getting better at . . . patience.

On top of the mobility issues, Lucky started throwing up on Wednesday and it continued through Thursday. She threw up everything, including water. Again, no way to know for sure what the cause was . . . the cancer? the heat? the change in medicine? Thankfully, the last two days have been barf-free so I'm leaning towards "the heat" as the cause, although one never knows for sure.

Then, her yeast infection started to get worse, so it was obvious that what I was doing to treat it wasn't working. I hit that place again where I feel stuck between my two options "do more research and find another treatment option" or "accept what is." I have never been very good at the latter but I know I have to accept the fact that a lot of what is going on with Lucky right now may be a sign that her body is giving out. She was so tired this week, she was falling asleep while drinking water. I put the bowl down, she started to drink and I walked out of the room for less than two minutes and when I came back into the room, she was sound asleep with her head in the bowl. She was beat and I knew it and yet, I still was unsure if it was temporary (fix it) or permanent (accept it).

I was talking to a friend of mine about all of this and I told her that I had always believed that if something was "right" it would be easy . . . so if there was another treatment options, I would find it easily and if I didn't, maybe it was a sign that I needed to move to "acceptance."

She offered to research some natural treatment options for yeast infections, because she knew I felt like I had hit the wall. Being the jewel that she is, within 24 hours, she had emailed me with all sorts of options I hadn't come across in my own research. It's amazing what a fresh pair of eyes can see. I scanned the list and one jumped out at me - coconut oil. Of all the things on the list, it was something I already had in my house. To me, that fit the definition of "easy" so that's what we're going to try now. After a comedy of errors, I rubbed some coconut oil on her tummy and thighs today. The coconut oil that I have is in capsules, so I poked a hole in it, with an earring, because I couldn't find a pin, and then I apparently forgot where the hole was because when I pinched the capsule, the coconut oil sprayed out in the opposite direction from where I expected it to (so I have more of it on my legs than Lucky does) and rubbing oil onto a very furry dog is no easy task either.

But I will do it again tomorrow (hopefully better, I promised Lucky I would improve the process) . . . and in a few days, I'll know whether or not it is going to help. It feels good to be doing SOMETHING - I am always happier when I am doing something, instead of feeling helpless to make things better. Lucky is still eating, still drinking, still barking at me when she wants something that I haven't been able to "intuit" on my own, and aside from her falling asleep in the water bowl, and still being weak in the front end, she's doing alright. I suspect I'll know in a few days if the coconut oil and the old joint support supplement are going to make a difference. If they don't, then I'll have to take another look at "acceptance" but until then, I'm going to keep doing what I can to ensure she is as happy and as healthy as possible.

Aging pets

I have quite a few animal clients who are up there age wise . . . one cat who is 19, two others who are 20, another who is 21 . . . one big dog who is 13, another who is 14, and then of course my own sweet Lucky who is 14. Most of them are dealing with some serious health challenges and yet, I remain in awe of them for the grace and ease they all seem to have regarding their age, their medical conditions and the part of the process of life they are in now.

My work with them and their guardians has made me look more closely at what happens when our animals are aging (not only to them but to us) and I have been learning a lot. I thought it might be helpful if I shared some of the observations I have been making and the insights I have been getting.

- Animals are not afraid of aging and they are not afraid of dying. They seem to understand this process and accept it with a level of peace that most people only hope to achieve. They don't seem to be too concerned with what they can't do anymore, unlike us, who often feel sadness over what they can't do anymore (or what we as humans can do anymore when we get older). They accept that it is part of the process and are so relaxed about it. It's made me realize how important it is to honor their lives at EVERY stage, to be more in a place of acceptance and appreciation instead of being in a place of worry all the time.

- And yet, animals have a lot of pride. Most of them don't like to be helped or coddled too much. One of my cat clients who probably shouldn't be trying to jump up on the bed or chairs, because she could injure herself, is not interested in getting help. Her guardian got a set of small steps to help her up to the bed and she refuses to use them. It isn't that she isn't appreciative of her guardian's efforts to help, she just refuses to believe that she's too old to get up there the "old way." I have learned how important it is to give the animal the choice to have help. We can say "Let me know if you need help" and if they want help, they will let us know.

I have learned this lesson with Lucky. I told her "If you need help, bark at me and I will come help you right away" and for the longest time she didn't bark. I would see her struggling to move and I would run over to help her, and say, "I told you to bark if you needed me" . . . and interestingly enough, I have realized that she DOES bark at me when she needs help . . . and I try to get to her right away when she does, so that she knows I am listening and honoring our agreement. I am also learning to let her be if she doesn't bark. Sometimes, an animal would like to try to figure it out on their own first, before asking for help. I think it is important that we give them that opportunity because their pride is important to them. If we help TOO MUCH, we can end up unwittingly disempowering them.

- Animals are mostly concerned about US when they are getting older. They worry about how we'll feel when they go and they worry about the stress we may be under as we try to care for them. I have witnessed that they do everything they can to help us not worry so much, even if we don't realize that's what they are doing.

I wrote a few months back about a dog who was pacing around the house, doing "laps" through the kitchen and family room. Her family worried it was a sign she was in pain or something but when I asked her about it, she told me she did it so they would know she was still ABLE to walk around and she was trying to show them that she was OK.

Another client was concerned that her dog slept in the other room at night, instead of in the bedroom with she and her husband. She was worried that it was a sign that something was wrong, but when I asked the dog about it, she told me that she was restless at night and was worried that her restlessness would keep her mom and dad awake, so she slept in the other room so they could get a good nights sleep. Her biggest concern was that her parents got the sleep they needed.

One of the greatest gifts we can give our animals is to assure them that we WILL be OK when they cross-over. Tell them that even though we will be very sad and we will miss them terribly, we will be alright. Having that conversation with them will lift the burden from their shoulders because honestly, what they worry about most is US.

- One of the biggest concerns the guardians express to me is that they don't want their animal to suffer. The last thing they want is for their animal to be in pain or too uncomfortable. They worry that their animal will try to stick around for them and stay longer than they are really comfortable staying. I totally understand this concern. The last thing we would ever want for our precious pet is for them to be unhappy or uncomfortable and stay longer than they want. What I have realized though is that most people don't need an animal communicator like me to help in these situations. You can ask your animal yourself to please give you a sign when they are ready to go, if they need help crossing-over. I know they will show you.

Sometimes, the "sign" isn't what you expect. We often think the sign will be something physical, tangible, something we can see . . . but when Hanna, who I have written about a lot lately, was nearing the end, I told her mom to ask Hanna to give her a sign when she was ready. The next week, Hanna's mom "knew" it was time. She didn't know how she knew, she just felt it in her heart that Hanna was ready to go. She was concerned that she didn't see a "sign" from Hanna and I explained to her that her "knowing" was the sign. Hanna let her know and she got the message in her heart. Even if you aren't an animal communicator, you can still talk to your animal and ask them to let you know when they feel their time here on earth is complete . . . and I know they will find a way to let you know.

- Animals still want to have fun. Even when they are older and may not be able to move around like they used to, they still enjoy moments where things are light and happy. They may want it as much for US as they want it for themselves. So, if you have an aging pet, get down on the floor with them and get goofy. Get toys out for you both to play with. Lay on the floor and rub their ears or their belly and talk silly to them. Take moments every day to be light and joyful. I know for many of us, it's counter-intuitive, because we feel so much worry and sadness when we see our animal is nearing the end of their life, that the last thing we're thinking about is "having fun" but from the animal's perspective, life is meant to be enjoyed - so do your best to enjoy it . . . every day! Your animals will be grateful for the moments of levity.

Lucky is still embracing the idea of enjoying life and I am doing my best to stay in that space with her. Some days, she does better than I do and I have to keep reminding myself that I need to enjoy the time she's here instead of worrying about when she won't be here.

She got invited to her friend Siena's birthday party yesterday. Siena (a 2-legged friend) was turning 3 and her party was at the park, so Lucky was able to attend. As Lucky and I entered the toddler area at the park, where the party was being held, with me holding her back end up with the sling, we were hearing all sorts of "pity sounds" coming from people at the park . . . "ooh, poor thing" "ohhh, she must be really old" and some people were asking us questions like "Is your dog OK?" I just kept smiling at everyone saying, "Lucky is just fine, she's really happy to be coming to her friends' birthday party!" It was the truth - it was exactly what Lucky was feeling. She wasn't embarrassed that she couldn't walk into the party without my help, she wasn't embarrassed that her back legs aren't working. She was just excited about being there, and excited to find out what she might get to eat at the party. I followed her lead and kept my attitude positive. When people commented on how hard it must be for me to hold her up when she weighs 70 lbs, I showed them how great my arms muscles are now and told them how grateful I was that Lucky has helped me develop such great biceps.

Once we got her settled in a nice shady spot on the grass, she quickly was surrounded by kids, from as young as a year old, up to 5 years old. Some of the kids were from the party we were attending, some of them were just people who were at the park that day and were excited to pet a dog. Lucky graciously accepted all the attention and might have even stolen the spotlight from Siena for a little while. She was in heaven getting all that attention and all that love. As far as Lucky was concerned, she didn't have a complaint in the world. She was at a birthday party, she was getting attention (and some food) and she was outside enjoying the sunshine and fresh air.

It leads me to another thing that I have learned about animals. Their needs are very simple and they are delighted by the smallest things. I think we would be better off if we took a cue from them. As long as they have food and water, a comfortable place to sleep and love and affection, they feel like they "have it all."

So, for those of you who are worried that you aren't doing enough for your aging pets, the answer is really quite simple. Make sure they have plenty to eat, drink, that they have a comfortable place to sleep and make sure you give them all the love and attention you can. And talk to them. Tell them what you are worried about, tell them how much you love and appreciate them. Communication is even more important at this stage than any other time, in my opinion.

I know how important it is to honor them while they are still here - to love every minute we have with them, even if their abilities today are different than they were yesterday or last year or 10 years ago. Love them for who they are today . . . and love yourself for who YOU are today. I think that's one of the things our animals are hoping we will learn from them. We are "perfect" at every age, regardless of how we have changed over the years. Who we are today is more important than who we were yesterday - so embrace it, and embrace them and let yourself be content with what is.

Animals are smarter than we think

Once again this week, I got to witness the amazing capabilities of animals. Many people don't realize how intelligent animals are and how they are able to process what is going on around them. They are even able to "take action" based on what they know. And they are able to do this without any special training. Even though I know what animals are capable of, I still find myself in awe of them when I get to witness them in action.

One of my clients has had some difficult things to deal with this year. In addition to one of her dog having some serious health issues, her mom, who had been living with her, was having a problem with alcohol. She had to make the difficult decision earlier this year to have her mom move out, because she feared that her drinking was causing a safety issue at her home and with her animals.

Her mom has been working hard to turn things around and has been making great strides. My client decided it was time to give her another chance and has started allowing her to visit with her animals when she is at work during the day.

Note: I don't usually use my client's names because I want to respect their privacy, but in this case, I'm having a difficult time telling the story without names. My client has given me permission to share this and I promised her I wouldn't use names, so I am just going to make them up. :-) I am going to call my client Amanda, her dog is going to be June and her mom is going to be Sandra.

While Amanda is very bonded to all of her animals, she has a particularly strong connection with June. Their bond is so intense that they feel each other's pain - literally. I have arrived for an appointment before and she'll say "I've been having pain and numbness in my shoulder and I think that is where June is having trouble" and sure enough, that will be the exact spot that I pick up something on June. June is also very protective of Amanda and will do anything she can to help her. She demonstrates this in many ways. One example is when Amanda's ex boyfriend calls and is not being nice to Amanda, June will start barking and carrying on until Amanda gets off the phone. Clearly, June is always looking out for her "mom" and wants to do anything she can to help.

So the other day when I went over there to give June a Reiki treatment, Amanda told me that her mom, Sandra, had told her something interesting. Since she has started to go over to the house to visit the dogs when Amanda is at work, if she has a drink in her hand, June will bark and bark at her until she lets her sniff what she is drinking. Once she smells it (whether it's coffee or iced tea or water or soda), she instantly calms down. If Sandra makes herself a new drink, June's barking resumes until she gets to sniff what Sandra is drinking.

Amanda and Sandra both suspected that she was checking to make sure there wasn't any alcohol in her drink and they were tickled by the thought of it. As soon as Amanda started to tell me the story, I could feel June confirming they were right. I was able to share with Amanda that June really likes having Sandra around and wants her to be successful in staying away from alcohol so that she can keep visiting. June feels it is her job to make sure that Sandra stays on track, especially when she is at their house. She knows Amanda doesn't worry about the animals as much when someone goes over to see them mid-day, so she wants Sandra to be able to continue to do that, so that her mom can be more relaxed. As I said, June is always looking out for Amanda.

Many people might say animals aren't smart enough to understand that a family member has an issue with alcohol or that they aren't smart enough to check their glass to see if they smell alcohol but Amanda, Sandra and I know better than that.

Last week I wrote about a client of mine whose cat seemed sickly until I arrived to see him, and that upon further discussion, the woman found out that I worked on people as well and started having appointments with me herself. When I was at her house last weekend, I shared with her that I thought her cat had a plan to get me there so that the door to her own healing could be opened. Just then the cat jumped up on the table next to us and sat there as if he were 5 feet tall. She looked at me and said "Oh my gosh, that feels totally right" He continued to sit there looking so proud of himself, and I could feel from him how pleased he was that we had "noticed" what he had done. She wrote me the next morning to tell me that he had been downright spunky since I left. She didn't need any further confirmation that he had orchestrated our re-connection.

So here I am writing about all these amazing things I have witnessed with animals this week and yet at my own home, I can't say that I experienced much of that, unless you find it amazing when a dog is willful and stubborn. :-) Lucky and I had a tough week, mostly because we didn't seem to be on the same page at all for days. When I wanted her to go left, she'd go right. When I wanted her to go outside to go potty and made her go outside, she refused to go potty. (but when it was HER idea to go outside, she had no problem going potty.) :-) I kept saying to her "Lucky, we need to work together!" "We do so much better when we are working as a team!" "Please work me with!" but my pleas seemed to fall on deaf ears.

When we got to water therapy on Wednesday, instead of walking from the car to the gate like we always do, she yanked me in the complete opposite direction. It about sent me over the edge. I was struggling to hold her back end up so that her toes didn't scrape on the ground and I had no way to "steer her" towards the gate. I kept telling her we needed to work together, that she was hurting my back by yanking me the other direction and in a moment of frustration, I heard myself utter an old corporate phrase that used to bug the heck out of me . . . yet, it still flew out of my mouth . . . I said "Lucky, there is no "I" in team!" Then I had to stop and giggle to myself over what I had just said to her.

I have no idea what was going on with her for all those days. You'd think I'd have some insight, given that I am an animal communicator but as I have mentioned before, sometimes it's not so easy to read your own animal because your own thoughts and feelings get in the way and it clouds the messages. Fortunately, whatever was going on has subsided and we're working as a team again.

It is much easier for us to get through the day when we're on the same page, heading in the same direction, have the same goals. The last day and a half have definitely been more peaceful for us. Yet I keep having this sinking feeling that our days together are numbered. I don't know if it is intuition or fear but the thought keeps coming into my head. I guess that's why it is so important to me that we are working together because I would hate for our last day together to be one where we butted heads and struggled to get through the day. I have a vision of Lucky passing quietly in my arms, with us both feeling nothing but peace and love and gratitude for the time we got to be together. I would hate for her to pass on a day where I am yelling "There's no "I" in team!" so I am going to do my best to keep that phrase from slipping out of my mouth again and hope that whatever time we have left can truly be spent with us feeling peaceful and loving and grateful.

Communication is a two way street

I'll start off today with an update on Lucky and the subdudes. Having my favorite band in town and getting to see them two nights in a row definitely lifted my spirits and I think it lifted Lucky's as well. The week was off to a really good start.

I was in heaven listening to the subdudes play both nights. Their music touches me in a way that is hard to put into words. Lucky also seemed to be in heaven when friends (fellow fans and band members) came to the car to visit her before and after the show and during the band's break half way through. She let everyone pet her and ooh and ahh over how good she looked and how happy she seemed. We stayed up later than we normally do and slept in later too.

For a couple of days, life seemed like a breeze. Our focus was on having fun and we were definitely having fun. Lucky had a great appetite, almost no accidents and my arms and back didn't hurt at all when I was lifting her or helping her walk. I can't say it was ALL thanks to the subdudes music but I am sure it was part of why we were both feeling so good. :-)

After a couple of fabulous days, reality started to set in again. I guess it is to be expected but it still was a bit of a disappointment. Lucky suddenly wasn't interested in eating. She was turning her nose up at the food I was preparing her, not interested in the grilled chicken I was mixing up with her kibble, so I started trying to get more creative. I mixed in wet dog food and cottage cheese, then after a couple of meals, that didn't work anymore. I got some baby food and mixed that in, sat on the floor with her and hand fed her and then after a couple of meals, that wasn't working either. My back started to hurt again and I was awake multiple times during the night trying to find a position to sleep in where I didn't feel the ache.

I started to slide into the place where I wondered how many days we had left together and could feel the sadness welling up in me. I noticed she was getting low on some of her supplements and I felt paralyzed to decide if I should order more and if so, what quantity. I found myself checking on her more often in the middle of the night to make sure she was still breathing. I began feeling that anxiety creep in again, the anxiety that comes with being in limbo and not knowing how long this state of limbo will last and if I'll be able to handle it.

Today, in an effort to find "center" again, I tried to put my focus back on living in the moment . . . enjoying what the day brings without worrying about what tomorrow will or will not bring.

I took Lucky out to the pool at my complex so we could enjoy the sunshine and fresh air. I gave her a bath, and as usual I spent more time toweling her off than actually washing her, since the toweling-off part is her favorite part. We did our best to act like we didn't have a care in the world. It helped a bit . . . we both felt more carefree than we have the last couple of days . . . that is until we came back to the house and I noticed once again that she is low on some of her supplements.

I got on line to order another bottle and found they were back ordered. Was that a sign? Will I not end up needing another bottle? or should I keep searching for another source? Then I mixed up Lucky's dinner, with as many "exciting" ingredients as I could find and she wouldn't eat it. I sat down on the floor with her and tried hand feeding it to her but the first few bites she just spit back out on the blanket we were laying on. I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself down, tried to find my center. I told her that if she didn't want to eat, I wasn't going to force her, that I would like it if she ate, but it was her choice. I went into the kitchen to wash the concoction I had created off my fingers and when I walked back into the room, she was eating. She ate until the bowl was licked clean.

It got me thinking about this idea that communication really is a two way street. Yes, I want Lucky to eat, for a whole host of reasons but I need to remember that her thoughts and desires matter too. Often times when people find out I can communicate with animals, they excitedly say "Tell my dog I want her to do this" "Tell my cat I want him to do that" but on occasion when I tell these folks what their animal has to say, they aren't as interested in hearing it.

Recently, at water therapy, there was a dog who came to swim for her first time. She was having a really tough time, thrashing about in the water so they asked me to explain what she needed to do. I did that and the dog understood but the dog also wanted them to give her feedback, to let her know what specifically she was doing right and what specifically she needed to do differently. When I told this to the water therapist, she initially looked at me like I was crazy. It's like it takes people aback for a moment when you tell them what the animal wants. Fortunately, that only lasted a minute or two and then she started to give the dog the specific feedback she was asking for.

I can't really blame people for being initially confused by their animal's responses because I remember my own experience about 12 years ago, when I worked with an animal communicator (This was before I had reconnected with my own ability) and I was trying to get help dealing with some of Lucky's debilitating fears. The feedback the communicator gave me was "Lucky likes the color green, she wants a green blanket on her bed and more green around the house, like green throw pillows on the couch."

I wasn't thrilled by the "communication' that was being shared with me. I had recently bought Lucky a new blue blanket for her bed (that matched the decor in our bedroom) and I had purple throw pillows on the couch. Was I really going to need to go buy new pillows and blankets? and was that going to have any impact at all on her debilitating fears? I couldn't quite wrap my mind around how having a green blanket on her bed was going to make her less inclined to throw up when she saw another dog that frightened her.

Over the years, I have learned that the wants and needs of animals are important, regardless of whether or not we understand why. I think that they have the ability to see the "big picture" in a way that we don't and that we might be better off if we just trust them and trust that they know what they are doing.

I have a client whose cat has been fighting cancer so I have been treating her weekly. Every time I came to the house, we always did the Reiki treatment in the same room. Then out of the blue one day, she wanted to receive her Reiki treatment in a different room. The next week, she wanted to be somewhere else in the house. I told this sweet cat's guardian that I thought we should trust her cat, that I believed there was a reason she wanted to receive Reiki in different places in the house, even if we didn't fully understand why. She was still incredibly receptive to the energy, so I knew it wasn't a case of her not wanting to get a Reiki treatment. I sensed she had a bigger plan, one that her mom and I were not privy to. It has gotten to be a little joke with us now, where we say "Hmm, I wonder where we'll end up tonight" when I come over to give Reiki to her cat. I don't know yet what her cat's reason is, but I do suspect it has something to do with exposing the rest of the house and the various family members to the energy.

I had another client who called me because she was really worried about the health of one of her cats. He has been sickly and lethargic and she was really concerned about him. When I arrived for our appointment, I was surprised to see that her cat was doing just fine. I didn't pick up anything from him that concerned me. He seemed healthy and happy, which surprised his guardian as well. As she and I continued to talk, she began to share with me some emotional and physical challenges she is currently facing. Then she asked if I did Reiki treatments for people and I told her I absolutely did. She decided to start getting Reiki treatments for herself and has been feeling better than she has in months. Is it possible that her cat only pretended to be sick so that she would call me up and open the door for her own healing? I can't say it is out of the realm of possibilities.

I continue to believe that animals know more than we realize, and that if we can trust them and trust that they have an insight into the bigger picture of life, we'll all be better off.