Me Too

I woke up early this morning in the middle of the strangest dream.  I was either a detective or a CSI, working a serial killer case and we were trying to figure out if we'd be able to get a finger print off a plastic bag.  One of the detectives said they were looking at a potential accomplice but they were having trouble tracking him down. They wanted to know if I had been in touch with him because they knew he was someone I used to work with.  When they told me his name, he truly WAS someone I used to work with and he was the man who sexually harassed me at my first job out of college.  I told the detective I hadn't spoken to him since he left the company many decades ago and he said something about how karma had already come back around for him.  And then I woke up.

I laid there processing the dream for a while, wondering why he had shown up in my dream. Was the Universe letting me know that karma really had come back around for him?  Or was there some other message?

Unlike others in the MeToo Movement, I had been given the opportunity to speak up, my situation had been addressed and he was let go from the company.  I didn't have any more triggers around him or the situation. Since it had all been resolved, there wasn't a lingering feeling of injustice.

At the time there was, because his peers and the executives in our division ignored all the signs that he was harassing women . . . that is until they wanted to get rid of him for different reasons and then suddenly they all seemed to recall that maybe there had been harassment issues they should look into. They immediately called me into HR - not because they really cared about what they suspected I had been through - but because they knew it would help build a case against him.  And yet even though I was upset about that at the time, I had worked through all those emotions and had made my peace with how it had all unfolded.

So why was this coming up in my dreams?  Was there something else for me to see?

Thinking back to that time when I was an insecure 23 or 24 year old, I remembered how he laughed at me when I tried to stand up for myself.  I told him that if he didn't stop all the inappropriate behavior, I was going to report him to HR and he said "Go right ahead, who do you think they'll believe?  Someone like me with decades of professional experience? or some blonde bimbo fresh out of college?"

It definitely shut me down at the time, but in the years since then I had found my voice and my self esteem. Recalling his words no longer cause any emotional triggers in me so what else was I being shown?

As I continued to let my thoughts drift, I thought about the term "serial" in my dream and I remembered getting a look at his resume after he was let go.  I recall how stunned I was to see that in his 25 year career, he had already worked at about 13 companies.  My gut said that he was a serial harasser and I wondered why no one ever stopped him.  Further still, I remember how disappointed I was when I went to HR to speak to them about it and was told that HR laws prohibited them from telling a potential employer why he had left the company. That meant that the laws protected him and he could continue to go from one company to the next, harassing women again and again.

But why was this coming up now?

Then the next piece clicked into place.  Less than 24 hours earlier, I had received an email from the President of the college I went to all those years ago. It was a letter to all students and alumni apologizing for the fact that it had now come to light that the Jesuit retirement center on our campus had been housing priests that were on "supervised safety plans."  These priests that had been credibly accused of abuse towards men, women and children had been quietly moved from location to location, where they were credibly accused again . . . ultimately "retiring" on our campus. I felt nauseous while I was reading the email. There was my trigger.

The piece that still has a charge for me is the fact that church laws and corporate HR laws protect the abusers.  A person can go from company to company or from parish to parish and never have to reveal why they were asked to leave and therefore the abuse cycle continues.  No one is required to tell the truth but they are complicit in their silence. There is so much damage that is done through the "silence" that is supported by their internal "law."

Now I understood what the dream was about and I could see that I was being nudged to heal this last piece . . . the injustice I still feel over the protection the abusers get instead of protecting the abused.

I realize at first glance, this may not appear to have anything to do with animal communication or Reiki so you may wonder why I am writing about this in my blog.  I am sharing this because I have learned that the things that come up for us, in our dreams, in our seemingly unimportant interactions and in our random thoughts come up for a reason.  We are always being shown where our thoughts, beliefs and experiences are holding us back.  If we are willing to look at them, they can be a roadmap for us . . . to show us something that needs to be healed and released or to show us a next step in our journey.

The key is to slow down enough to notice these nudges.  I didn't slow down enough yesterday to notice my reaction when I read the email from my old college.  I just forwarded it on to my best friend from college with a note that said "Can you believe this?" but I didn't stop to think about the fact that I really had been triggered by it.  Fortunately I got another nudge during my dream state.  Sometimes I don't notice these nudges until I get the third piece of the puzzle or the fourth.  It honestly doesn't matter how long it takes us to notice these nudges and put the puzzle pieces together, as long as we eventually do.

Bath Time

If you read my blog, you know that Kino does not like getting baths.  He is better than he was when I first got him . . . that first year, he growled at me so ferociously during a bath that I was on edge the entire time, assuming that I could be bitten at any moment.  In the last few years, he has improved and now he only growls at the very end (when I am washing his head) and then gives me the silent treatment afterwards.  Bottom line, he just doesn't like getting baths.

A few weeks ago, I discovered something new about Kino's feeling about baths.  For his birthday this year, he got a pink stuffed dog.  I named her Rose and Kino loves Rose more than any of his other toys.  She is constantly in his mouth, he brings her to bed with him, naps with his head on her back and he flings her around wildly when I pull the vacuum cleaner out. No doubt, Rose has had a lot of "attention" since July.

One night, we were getting ready for bed and Kino brought Rose over to me, hoping we might play a game of tug of war with her.  As I was telling him I didn't think it was a good idea, I put my hand on her and was a bit grossed out.  Her fur, which used to be plush and silky soft was now starchy and stiff.  I took a closer look and noticed that she her fur was more of a brown color on most of her body instead of the bright pink she used to be so I said to Kino "I think we're going to need to give Rose a bath" and he promptly growled at me.  It took me by surprise. I said "What are you growling about??  She is really dirty.  We definitely need to give her a bath" and he growled at me again.  I assured him that a bath would not hurt her and then got on the computer to research "how to wash a stuffed toy" because I didn't want to be a liar.  :-)

The next day, I got out the Woolite and filled the sink in the guest bath with cold water.  Then I told Kino it was time for Rose to have a bath.  He started to growl as he ran to get her before I did. Fortunately, I got to her first.  I reminded him that the bath wasn't going to hurt her and that I was sure she'd enjoy being clean.

Following me into the bathroom, he stood right next to the sink and watched her get a bath.  He had his nose right up there on the edge of the sink the entire time. I kept saying things like "See, she's doing fine" and "Look how clean she is getting!  You can see her pink fur again."

As luck would have it, we were having wonderful weather so rather than risk putting her in the dryer, I was able to put her outside in the sun to dry.  I said "Rose is going to sunbathe now" and we went into the backyard.  I put her on a chair in the sun. He licked her once and then I got him to chase the tennis ball for a while.  When it was time to go back in the house, Kino went over to check on her and I reminded him that she would be fine, that she just needed to dry off.  That seemed to satisfy him and he went back inside but a couple hours later, he stood at the backdoor waiting for me to let him out in the yard.  When I opened the door, he ran straight over to Rose to make sure she was ok.  I said "See Kino, Rose is ok and it looks like she didn't mind getting a bath."  That time he didn't growl at me. He just looked up - as if he was trying to decide if he believed me or not.

For the next few days, I said "Look how good Rose looks!  She's so nice and clean after her bath" and there was no more growling. So it looks like, at least for now, Kino has accepted the fact that Rose might be getting baths from time to time. It will be interesting to see if Kino is any more cooperative the next time he gets a bath.

Bird Songs

One of the things that I love about where I live is amount of birds that visit my yard.  (Especially now that Kino has, for the most part, stopped chasing them out of the yard.)  Listening to their chirping and singing is something that I get to enjoy almost every day.

Last weekend, I had a funny bird experience. I was in the house cooking, the backdoor was open, and I had the music cranked up.  Suddenly, I became aware of a bird singing in the yard.  It was singing so loudly that I could hear it over the music.  Imagine that you have two radios blaring in two different rooms of the house, playing two different stations . . . it will start to give you a headache.

Turning my music off, I went into the backyard in search of the singing bird.  I could still hear him but I couldn't see him anywhere.  The singing continued so I grabbed my phone and made a video to capture the sound.  I was really curious what type of bird made this beautiful sound but since I couldn't see it, I knew I was going to have to identify it by it's song.

I sent the video to my dad and asked him if he had any thoughts.  He suggested a whippoorwill so I found a recording of a whippoorwill on the internet but it didn't match.  Then I sent it to one of my best friends and asked her if she recognized the bird but she didn't.  I stood outside for a while again, searching the trees for the bird but still couldn't find him.

About an hour later, I got a text from my friend with a video . . . and it was the same bird singing away in her yard about 6 hours north of me.  Well, it wasn't the SAME bird - LOL - but clearly one of his relatives.  She couldn't see the bird in her yard either. Now we both really felt driven to figure out what bird this was.

I sent the recording to my cousin because her husband knows a lot about birds but felt I needed to keep trying to figure it out so back to the internet I went.  I listened to more bird recordings that night than I ever thought I would. I did every kind of search I could think of . . . and finally I found one that was close.  It wasn't the exact song, but it was close.  That was when I realized the bird in my yard (and my friend's yard) did a 3 note song so I started searching for birds that have 3 note songs.  I went to bed defeated that night though.

The next day, I was sitting the backyard drinking my coffee and I heard him again.  I texted my friend and she wrote back immediately and said she heard it in her yard too.  Now we were starting to feel there had to be a reason for it - maybe a message for us so I felt inspired to try again . . . and finally several hours later I figured it out!

We were being serenaded by a Golden Crowned Sparrow!  I was so excited to figure it out!  I immediately emailed my friend and my dad and let them know the good news.  I giggled when I read that they are the masters of camouflage - that must have been the reason we could never SEE the bird singing in our yards. Later that night, I emailed my cousin to tell her she could ignore my previous plea for help, as I had figured it out.

Once I had basked in the joy of figuring out what the bird was, I looked into what it means when a sparrow shows up and makes itself known.  One source said "The sparrow is small, but it has big meaning and lessons.  The first is to enjoy the little things in life and happily embrace simplicity."  The article also said, "She beckons us to keep our burdens light as we can in order to avoid a heavy heart."

My friend and I felt the message was fitting for both of us right now and we were glad we paid attention.

A couple days later, I found a text message from my cousin when I got up and it said "I hear the bird outside my window right now!"

It seems that all three of us needed to get the message of the sparrow.

A Happy Accident

For the last 8-9 months, one of my biggest challenges every day has been trying to get Kino to drink water.  Since his stomach is frequently upset, he has almost no interest in drinking. I can understand that because I don't crave water when I have an upset stomach either yet I also know how important it is to keep him hydrated.

Multiple times a day we go through the frustrating ritual of me sitting on the floor holding his bowl and asking him to drink some water.  He will have a couple sips and then step backwards.  I ask him again to please drink some more water - sometimes he'll have a few more sips - sometimes he won't and sometimes the begging on my part continues.  If I don't hold the bowl and insist he drink some, he won't go near it. If I am wearing shorts, he thinks it's great fun to lick my legs instead of drinking from the bowl.  I try to roll with it most days, although I can't say I enjoy the sensation of his tongue all over my legs, but I often follow up my "bath" by saying, "You've got to wash all that salt down, why don't you drink some water." Fortunately, he will usually have a few more laps of water.

I realized in recent months that the whole "get Kino to drink water" is one of the biggest stresses in my life and one I really want to change.  I have tried giving him ice cubes because he likes them but his stomach is so sensitive to cold that if he swallows an ice cube, he vomits within about 2 minutes, sometimes sooner. Not fun for either of us.

A few weeks ago,  I cooked up a batch of chicken thighs and chicken livers in the crock pot, since Kino is now allergic to beef.  While I was attempting to stir it and ensure it was cooked all the way through, I somehow managed to fling a chicken thigh in such a manner that it went up in the air and then splashed back down into the crock pot, throwing water up out of the pot, all over the counter, down the front of the cupboard and into Kino's water bowl by my feet.  I was trying to contain my frustration at the mess I had just made when Kino came running into the kitchen to see what all the commotion was about.  He sniffed his bowl and then drank the entire contents.  I stood there in disbelief.  Had Kino really just drank a bowl of water - on his own??  Without me holding the bowl and begging him to drink???

Would it work again?  I wasn't sure if it was just a one time thing so I pulled out more of the water from the crock pot and put it in a bowl.  A while later, I put a teaspoon of the chicken water in his water bowl and within seconds, he had finished the entire bowl.  I was overjoyed!  And that may seem like a bit of an overreaction but if any of you have ever struggled to get your pet to drink water, I know you understand.

So, now we have a new ritual.  Kino and I play for a bit and when we stop I say, "Do you need some water?" and he stares at me.  So then I say, "Do you need me to add the magic juice?" and he excitedly runs into the kitchen and stands next to his bowl.  I don't even know how I began calling it the "magic juice" but in some ways, it truly is exactly that.

With each new batch of food I make for him, I strain off a cup of the water so that we have enough "magic juice" to last us until we make the next batch.  I am shocked at how much easier life is these days.  Kino is still throwing up every three to four days but the fact that I have a way to get him to drink water throughout the day is enough to keep my outlook positive.

When I told my dad about my "happy accident" he said I should bottle the "magic juice" and sell it to other people who can't get their pets to drink water.  I decided instead to just share my experience here so if any of you reading this are having an issue with getting fluid into your pets, maybe something similar will work for you.

Another Set Back

Just when I thought we were making some headway on getting Kino healthy again, we had another set back.  After all we went through a year ago dealing with his food allergies and finally finding something he could eat, it appears that he has developed an allergy to the limited ingredient food I have been making him.  To say this was disappointing is an understatement.

The other day I was sitting at the dining table, with my head in my hands . . . I could feel the fear swirling up inside of me and the feeling of hopelessness.  I know it's not a place I want to "sit" - not only because it's uncomfortable and unproductive to sit in fear and hopelessness - but because I know that if I stay in that place, I will draw in more experiences that match that vibration.  I was sitting there pondering all of that and trying to determine how I was going to shift my attention, and therefore my vibration, to something else when Kino walked into the room.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him sit in front of the sliding glass door as he keenly focused on something in the yard.  I finally looked over to see what he was looking at and much to my surprised there were 3-4 birds walking around the yard, a couple feet away from the sliding glass door.

I couldn't believe my eyes for a minute . . . Kino was WATCHING the birds.  He wasn't barking and throwing himself at the door the way he did when he first came to live with me.  He wasn't coming unglued because "something was in his yard!"  He was just watching them.  In that moment, I felt like my request had been granted.  Something positive for me to think about instead.  Wow - my boy really has come a long way.  I hugged him and thanked him for helping me shift out of the mindset I had been in.

Later that day, he gave me another one of those little "gifts" when we were out for a walk.  We were walking down the street when out of the blue a cat walked across the street in front of us.  Kino's ears perked up and I felt his body get a little rigid so I said "Kino, leave it" and while he didn't look at me immediately like he's supposed to, his body did relax.  I laughed to myself as I thought about the "old Kino" . . . I'll never forget one of our first walks after he came out of the shelter . . .  he saw a cat and the most frightening sound erupted from him . . . a combination of a howl and bark that was so loud and so manic, he sounded like he had just been gravely injured.  The sound continued as he added in lunging and odd body convulsions.  That was how Kino used to respond to seeing a cat and I took a moment to feel very very grateful that those days are behind us.  :-)

Thanks to Kino, I had a couple examples of how to shift my thinking and therefore my energy.  Since then it has been much easier to move myself out of the fear when it comes up.  Kino is still sick and I still haven't figured out what to do to help him get better but with his assistance, I'm having an easier time finding things to be grateful for.

Eclipse and Full Moon Energies

For many people, the last three weeks have been pretty turbulent.  There were some major influxes of energy coming into the planet between the partial eclipse earlier this month and the full eclipse that occurred a couple of days ago.  Some folks are still experiencing the lingering affects that may continue for the next week.  I came across this explanation of what's been happening and how it has been affecting many of us and everyone I shared it with said "Wow!  Exactly!" so I figured it might be helpful to share it with a wider audience.

These energies have also been affecting animals.  Has your pet been uninterested in eating some days?  Or not interested in drinking water some days? or throwing up?  Has your pet been more lethargic? Has your dog been on edge and barking more than usual?   I have seen all these things occurring with my animal clients and with my own dog.  They are so in tune with energies, they often feel them more intensely than we do.  If the symptoms come and go, most likely it is a result of these powerful energies we've been experiencing.  Give them some extra love and be as gentle and kind with them as you can.  And even more importantly, be gentle and kind with yourself.  These energies are more powerful than anything we've ever experienced before and they've really pushed us out of our comfort zones.

Setbacks and Steps Forward

I normally try to write a new blog post every two weeks but I've been sidetracked by Kino's health the last few months and haven't been keeping up with my writing.

Kino was very sick last year - food allergies, IBS/colitis, etc.  He was finally on the mend by the end of the summer and I was hopeful that the worst was behind us.  Unfortunately, that wasn't going to be the case.  Earlier this year, his colitis issues showed up again, then we were back to his early morning vomiting every four mornings and by April, he wasn't able to chase more than 10 balls in a row without having to stop.  (He normally chases about 80 before needing a rest).  No matter how much I fed him, he kept losing weight. When the vomiting was occurring every other day, I really got scared.  During this time, my intuition kept telling me that he had cancer and I kept wanting to ignore that nudge.  I just didn't want to believe it.

I asked my angels and guides for help, as I felt I had exhausted every avenue that I could pursue to help restore his health and I was feeling pretty discouraged.  A day or so later, I got on the computer and a folder was open on my desktop - a folder I hadn't looked at in almost ten years and didn't even remember was still on my computer - but there it was - right in my face.  It was the folder where I had collected information on holistic cancer remedies when Lucky had cancer.

An odd feeling of calmness come over me, which surprised me - I expected it to freak me out but instead I heard myself say "Ok, so this is what we're dealing with."  I ordered some of the alternative treatments that day.  After a month, there still wasn't much improvement and once again, I was feeling discouraged.  My sweet boy is only 5 years old - which is way too young for him to succumb to this.  Once again, I asked my angels and guides for help.  Nothing immediately came to me.

Oddly enough though, I felt nudged to sign up for an energy healing session for myself that week and when the topic of Kino's health came up, she had a suggestion for me . . . someone she had worked with who was able to clear toxins, bacterias, viruses and parasites from the body (human or animal) remotely.  (Remotely was very important because she is in Australia).  It felt like the right thing to do so I got Kino started on healing sessions with her.  If we could reduce the load on his system, I felt his immune system would have a better chance of healing his body.

It's only been two months and we still have another couple months of treatment but already I am seeing improvements.  Kino managed to go twelve days without waking me up early for some grass eating and barfing, which was pretty exciting for this non-morning-person!   Some days he is able to chase more than 10 balls in a row without having to rest. Last week, he celebrated his 6th birthday.  He got a stuffed pink dog for a present and he was over the moon!  Not just because pink is his favorite color either.  He carries the pink dog around the house, brings it to bed with him and even uses it as a pillow when he's taking a nap.  It seems he's got a new best friend.

I am encouraged and think we are on the right track.  Hopefully he will be celebrating his 7th birthday next year with all the gusto a young dog should have.  And with these improvements in his health, hopefully his mom will get back to writing regular blog posts.

Earth Changes and Our Pets

There is a lot going on energetically on our planet right now.  Higher vibrational energy has been coming in more frequently than in the last several years.  Geo storms, solar winds, solar flares and spikes in the Shumann resonance scale are becoming a regular thing these days.

Some people don't notice anything with the energetic activity but if you are sensitive to energy, chances are you are going to be feeling something.  It may show up as a dizzy spell, nausea, fatigue, a headache, unquenchable thirst, anxiety, etc.

Being aware of the energy and how it effects us can be helpful  . . . it can keep us from worrying about our health and keep us from rushing off to the doctor's office.  I am not saying you shouldn't see a doctor if you feel inclined to do so . . . I just want to share what effect these surges of energy can have on us physically so we can begin to monitor ourselves as well as our pets.

Animals are even more sensitive to energy than most of us humans so they are feeling all of this too.  I have heard many accounts of animals acting strangely or out of the norm for them.  Cats hiding under the bed for no apparent reason, dogs with tummy upset or less of a desire to play.

It scares people and they wonder if they should get their pet to the vet right away.  The thing I have observed is that - with both humans and animals - if a "symptom" is persistent, it's probably a good idea to check in with your doctor or veterinarian but if the symptoms come and go, it's more likely a reaction to the shifts/surges of energy that are taking place right now.

If all of the sudden you can't keep your eyes open and have to lay down for a nap in the middle of the day but you feel fine the next day, it's probably a reaction to the surges of energy.  If your head starts pounding or you hear ringing in your ears but it goes away in less than an hour, it's likely a reaction to the energy. If your pet doesn't want to eat dinner but had no problem eating breakfast the next morning, then it's probably a reaction to energy.

With the increase in frequency of this energetic activity, we are likely to see more and more of these "symptoms" showing up, so the more we can monitor ourselves and our animals, the more empowered we'll be.  Remember, if symptoms come and go, it's less likely something to be concerned about.

Only you know if it is something you should be concerned about - with yourself or your pet.  With these influxes of energy, one of the best things we can do is making sure we are taking good care of ourselves.  Sleep as much as we need, drink as much water as we can, eat food that is nourishing to our bodies and spend as much time in nature as possible.  If you do all those things, you and/or your pet will probably feel a whole lot better whether you are sensitive to energy or not.

What Do You Want More of In Your Life?

The definition of selection perception is:  What you focus on expands.  To me, this is a vital thing for us to keep in mind, because whatever we focus on, we are going to get more of. If we really want to have a better life and a better world, it's imperative that we pay attention to where our thoughts go throughout the day.

So, what do you want more of in your life?  Whatever it is, it will be helpful to keep focusing on that.

As an example, if I find myself very frustrated when I am on the receiving end of poor customer service and I keep thinking about the bad experience over and over, guess what I am probably going to experience again?  Yep, poor customer service.

But if I had a good experience of customer service and I focus on how nice that was, guess what I am likely to experience again?  Yep, good customer service.

So what if you didn't have a good customer service experience?  You can focus on how you would have preferred the experience to go.  Even though it didn't happen, putting our attention on what we WANT instead of what we don't want will draw in more of what we want.

It sounds too easy to be true doesn't it?  Yet, it really IS that simple.  What we focus on expands.

As you go throughout the day, notice where your thoughts go.  Are you thinking about what you are happy about?  What you are grateful for? What you wish for?  Or do you find yourself slipping into thoughts about what frustrated you and what disappointed you?

The choice is ours - we can think about whatever we want - it's just important to remember that our thoughts will keep creating our reality.  Do you know what you want more of in your life?  More peace?  More harmony?  More acceptance?  More appreciation?  More joy? Whatever it is, keep putting your attention there.  You might be amazed at the results!

If Only We Could Stop Judging One Another

I believe very strongly that our thoughts and emotions create our experiences.  The cool thing is we have a choice what we do with our thoughts and emotions.  We can focus on positive things or we can focus on negative things.  We all have that free will choice.  I just wish more people would choose to avoid focusing on the negative.

It is heartbreaking to me to see how judgmental we have become towards others.  It seems that at every second people are ready to pounce with all their judgement and negativity.  Not only does it hurt the person on the receiving end, it also hurts everyone else who sees it, hears it and feels it as the ripples of negative energy go out into the Universe.

I have been seeing this a lot in animal groups lately.  These are groups that were formed to help animals and yet they spew unbelievable negativity and judgement at the very people who are reaching out for help.  People who have a litter of puppies they need to find homes for, people who need to rehome their pet because of life circumstances, people who can't afford medical procedures that their pet requires.

Each time someone posts in these groups looking for help, there are people ready to bombard them with their judgement . . . I read things such as:  people shouldn't be allowed to have a pet if they don't make a lifelong commitment or if they can't afford it, people shouldn't ever, under any circumstances, surrender their pet to the shelter because it's a sign they are a terrible person, if you haven't spayed or neutered your pet you are an irresponsible awful person, etc.

Yes, in a perfect world all animals would have forever homes and owners who knew how to care for them but we are not in a perfect world.  We are in a world where we are all learning as we go and doing the best that we can with what we know at any given moment.

I think the reason why I am especially saddened by the bashing that occurs in these instances is because every single dog I ever had, (with the exception of our first dog Maggie who came from a pet store) came to us from one of the frequently judged circumstances.  If each of those dogs had stayed in their first home, I would have never had the joy of living with and learning from each one of those incredible dogs.

Brandy came to us because a neighbor's dog accidentally got pregnant.  Do I support spay and neuter programs because of the volume of unwanted pets in the world?  Absolutely I do and at the same time, I can't imagine my childhood without Brandy.

Clancy ended up with us because someone dumped him on the street.  He ended up being rescued by the dog groomer who did Brandy's hair.  She put up fliers, checked the lost and found at the shelter and no one was looking for the beautiful Westie mix, so she decided to find a new home for him.  Fortunately, that home ended up being ours.

Murphy was our next dog.  He had been hit by a truck, which broke his leg in several places.  The man who owned him could not afford the surgery and asked the vet to just put him down.  The vet couldn't do it though so she paid for the surgery herself and then looked for the right family to adopt him.  I am not going to sit in judgment because the man couldn't afford the surgery.  I am only going to be grateful that the vet decided to do the surgery anyway and that she found US because Murphy was a wonderful addition to our family.


After that came Mickey, who had been dumped at the shelter with untreated medical conditions which my parents addressed for years after they brought him home.  If someone hadn't given him up, we would have never had this sweet and wonderful new dog who also helped keep Murphy on his toes.

Each one of these dogs played such an important role in my life.  I was profoundly and beautifully affected by each one of them.

In the bigger picture, maybe they were meant to come into my life and that was why their previous families were in the positions they were.

I think about Kino and how different my life would be right now if his previous family hadn't surrendered him to the shelter.  Sure, I complained at first that he was never trained or socialized but the truth is, I don't know their circumstances so I don't know why Kino ended up like he did.  Maybe there was a family hardship that prevented them from being able to focus on him during that first year.  I do know that I would rather focus on the love and joy he brings into my life, rather than focusing on judging the people he used to live with.

I wish we could look at these situations with the eyes of compassion instead of judgement. I wish we could remember that we don't know all the circumstances behind pregnancies and pets ending up in shelters.  Throwing out harsh judgements against others doesn't do anything to improve the circumstances and doesn't do anything to help the people or the animals who are in these situations.

As I said at the beginning, I believe our thoughts and emotions create our experiences so if we constantly sit in judgement of others, I believe we will continue to manifest more negativity.  The choice is ours.  My personal choice is to try to keep viewing things from a place of compassion.  And I keep hoping that more people will do the same.

What Is My Purpose?

There are many people who have been grappling with the question:  What is my purpose?   We want to have a fulfilling life and we often wonder "Why am I here?" What am I supposed to be doing??

Sometimes there is a subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) pull from deep inside . . . pushing us to connect with a stronger sense of purpose besides working to make money so we can pay the bills.

I came across a quote the other day that addressed this question in a way that really touched me.  I don't know who the author is, so I cannot give credit where credit is due but still wanted to share this.

Note to self:  

"What is my purpose in life?" I asked the void.  

"What if I told you that you fulfilled it when you took an extra hour to talk to that kid about his life? said the voice.  

"Or when you paid for that young couple in that restaurant?  Or when you saved that dog in traffic?  Or when you tied your father's shoes for him?  

Your problem is that you equate purpose with goal-based achievement.  God or the Universe or morality isn't interested in your achievements . . . just your heart.  

When you choose to act out of kindness, compassion and love, you are already aligned with your true purpose.  No need to look any further."  

Flea Season Is Upon Us

In recent years, it seems to have become more and more difficult to manage the flea situation.  Medicine that used to work doesn't seem to have an effect anymore and the drug companies keep coming out with stronger and stronger medications for flea control that I fear are more dangerous to our pets.  Since I don't feel comfortable putting a lot of chemicals on my dog or myself, I am always searching for more gentle ways to combat fleas.

One thing I started giving Kino were garlic capsules, as I read they would deter fleas.  I know there are lots of people that say garlic is bad for dogs (that it is toxic) and there are also a lot of sources that say it is fine in smaller doses.  Given that I have used it successfully for years, I figure it's safe to share this here.

He used to get capsules that I bought at the health food store and that worked just fine for us.  Then someone told me about a company called Springtime (Springtimeinc.com) that makes chewable garlic tabs called Bug-off so I decided to give them a try.  They work just as well and the plus is that I don't have to hide a capsule to get Kino to take it, I can just hand him the chewable pill.  If you are currently looking for something like this, they are running a great sale right now. (buy 2 bottles, get two free).

I also came across a recipe for a homemade flea shampoo.  Kino just got a bath today with this special shampoo, which he was NOT happy about it at all.  (For several hours afterwards, he wouldn't even look at me).  Thankfully, his issue isn't with the shampoo, it is the combination of water and being constrained.  No matter how much progress we make in other areas, getting a bath is still not something he likes or wants.  His tendency to growl at me during the process makes me edgy and short tempered so I think it's safe to say, we both dread the bath thing equally BUT it is a necessity that we have to endure.  At least with our special flea shampoo, we have a better chance of keeping him comfortable post-bath.

For those of you who are interested, here's the recipe:

Get a bottle (I use an empty shampoo bottle) and put the following things in the bottle:
- 1/2 cup water
- 1/4 cup white vinegar
- 1/4 cup Dawn dish soap

Shake it up and you are ready to go!  They recommend leaving it on for 5 minutes before rinsing it off.

Fortunately, Kino finally got over being mad and was willing to look at me again (and smile for the camera). I'm sure the treats and ball playing helped quite a bit with his forgiveness / attitude adjustment.

Another option that I came across is to diffuse a few drops of essential oil (lavender or cedar) and put it on a bandana that you then tie around your pets neck.  I add this into the mix at the height of flea season. Not only does it help keep fleas away from him but it makes him smell pretty darn good too.

I am sure there are other options out there as well - those are just the ones I have been playing with so far.  Would love to hear what other natural remedies you have used to manage fleas on your pets!

Resolving Behavioral Issues

After my last post, I had several requests for more detail about resolving behavioral issues and their underlying causes.  Given how many layers there can be underneath a behavioral issue, I thought it might be helpful if I shared an example from my own experience with Kino.

Kino was never fun to take in the car because he barked his head off if we drove past a dog or a cat.  His barking was so ferocious, I had trouble being a safe driver which was unnerving to me.

I knew one of the underlying causes was that he was not socialized with dogs or cats in the first year of his life. He also had a very intense prey drive that probably escalated with the long hours he used to spend by himself outside every day before he came to live with me.

Resolving (or at least improving) the behavior required several different approaches, as there were various pieces to the puzzle.

We started using basic positive reinforcement techniques to adjust the behavior.  Keeping a bag of treats in the car, if I saw the dog or cat first, I offered him a treat and could usually keep him distracted long enough to get past the "offending animal."  :-)   We used this approach with mild success.  Kino is very smart (and a bit suspicious) so it wasn't long before the very act of offering him a treat made him start looking around for what I was attempting to distract him from.  Next I attempted to reward the good behavior before he had a chance to be bad, so if he noticed a dog but hadn't yet started barking, I offered him a treat while praising him for being so good!  "Thank you for not barking Kino, you're such a good boy" was something I said all the time, all the while hoping he didn't break down and go ballistic anyways.

While we had some success with the training/treat approach, he was still having outbursts in the car so I needed to look a little deeper.

One of the other things I have learned about Kino is that he is a dog who wants what he wants when he wants it.  When he is delayed in getting what he wants, he tends to have some sort of an outburst or tantrum.  Sometimes I find it amusing but usually not.  I had been using consequences as a way to help him see that his behavior directly impacts his ability to get what he wants.  Ultimately my goal was to help him to feel empowered, while also helping him learn some self control.

I decided it was time to implement a consequence for car rides.  I explained to him that if he could refrain from barking at dogs while we are in the car, he could continue to enjoy having his head out the window but if he lost control and started barking, he would lose his "head out the window privileges."  Given that sticking his head out the window is on his Top 3 list of favorite things to do, this particular consequence was a good motivation for more improvement.

With those two methods in place, we had experienced about a 70% improvement in Kino's car behavior and having him in the car was much more enjoyable than it had been in the past but there was still 30% of the time where I wished I had left him at home.  I sensed there was more for us to figure out.

One day, after a particularly unsettling barking episode, I sternly told Kino that I was not going to take him in the car anymore if he was going to bark unnecessarily at everyone.  Ok, honestly it was more than stern.  I yelled at the top of my lungs.  I was so maxed out by his barking.  And one second later, I looked at myself in my rear-view mirror and I began to laugh.  For as much as I didn't want to admit it, the truth was that he was mirroring me.  He wasn't the only one who occasionally barked unnecessarily in the car.  I myself was no angel and was known to swear at other drivers who darted into my lane and made me slam on my brakes and it wasn't uncommon for me to complain loudly to myself when other drivers were clueless on how a 4 way stop works.

Animals often mirror our behavior as a way to show us what adjustments we need to make.  I know this and yet, I was unable (or unwilling) to see that Kino wasn't the only one barking in the car.  I thanked him for being patient with me and told him that I would try to do better.  In the subsequent weeks, I made a huge effort to be more mellow in the car.  I sent positive energy to people who were driving unsafely, reminded myself that chaotic activity at a 4-way stop didn't need to ruin my day and guess what?  Kino got even better in the car.   That was the last piece of the puzzle and it seems his behavior wasn't going to improve until my behavior improved.  I am very grateful that I finally saw and accepted what he was trying to show me.

Neither of us are perfect, so there are still days where one or both of us slips up but on the whole, we are both doing better and being in the car is much more relaxing and fun for both of us.

Do I wish I could have just said to him "Kino, I don't want you barking when we are in the car" and have that resolve everything?  Of course!  Wouldn't that be fabulous if it was that easy?!  But the truth is  that it is usually more complicated than just simple communication.  There are always reasons our animals do what they do.  The key is to understand those reasons and keep working at it from those various angles.

Can You Tell My Pet To Stop Doing That?

In recent months, I have seen an increase in the number of clients who have requested that I tell their pet to stop doing something.  I wish it was that easy but the truth is, regardless of how well I can communicate with animals, I can't just tell them to stop doing something or to behave differently.

When an animal does something, they do it for a reason, so unless we understand and address the underlying reason, we won't have much luck changing a behavior.

I put the underlying causes into three categories:

1.  There is a medical reason.  An example of this is last winter, while I was enjoying the first couple sips of my morning coffee, Kino walked over to the table and peed all over my jacket that was hanging on the back of the chair.  My first reaction was to be mad.  He has been potty trained since the first week he came to live with me and he knows better!!  But my second thought was, "There has to be a reason he did that" . . . and sure enough, Kino had a bladder infection.  We treated the infection and he has never peed in the house again.

2.  There is an emotional trigger.  Many of my clients have adopted their pets from rescue organizations or shelters, where a lot about their past isn't known.  Depending on what type of experiences an animal had prior to coming into our lives, they may have emotional reactions to similar stimuli.  Many dogs were not socialized, so their reactions to other dogs (or cats or squirrels or people) can seem over the top and even scary sometimes.  Dogs that were left alone all the time may have separation anxiety now.  Kino was obviously left in the yard all the time because when we went into the yard, if I took even one step towards the back door, he'd go flying across the yard and into the house, wild eyed and frantic.  It took about 3 years to decrease his fear and build his trust.  I can now go back into the house while he is in the yard and he doesn't panic or charge for the door.  Sometimes an animal is upset about something. A change in the household, whether it's a new pet, a child going off to college, a divorce or a remodeling project, can often bring about new "unwanted behaviors."  Understanding how your animal is feeling about the change and working with them to address their concerns can often bring a positive shift to those unwanted behaviors.

3.  They are trying to teach us something.  Animals come into our lives to teach us things - things that will help us be better versions of ourselves and have an easier time in life.  It is helpful to look at our animals behavior and ask ourselves "What could he/she be trying to teach me?"  One of the most common "lessons" that I have seen with my clients is animals who are trying to teach their guardians how to set boundaries.  Do you set up consequences (and stick to them) when your animal does something they shouldn't?  If not, that might be the thing they are trying to help you get better at.  (Animals give us the opportunity to practice setting boundaries with them, so we have an easier time setting boundaries with the people in our lives as well).  Do you have a pushy animal who constantly wants attention, to the point where they are starting to get on your nerves?  Chances are they are trying to get you to put yourself and your needs higher on your priority list.  Setting some boundaries for "Me Time" is often all it takes to resolve the needy dog issue.  I know it may sound crazy but I have seen it enough times that I am no longer surprised.

Our animals always have a reason for what they do.  If we can understand what is going on underneath the behavior, we have a much better chance at addressing it.  Something for you to ponder this week:  What do you think your animals are trying to teach you?