Well, after screaming at Kino to get away and getting him to a different part of the yard to go potty, I got him back in the house. Rushing over to check on the rat, my heart was beating out of my chest. I was surprised to find that the rat was actually quite pretty, if rats can be pretty. His fur was black and tan - so he kinda looked like a tiny german shepherd. The rat was still breathing (quite hard) and I wasn't sure how injured he was.
I sat down and began doing Reiki on him. He seemed to respond well to it and actually got up and took a few steps. Thinking that maybe he would be ok, I went back in the house for a little while. When I went back to check on the rat, he had moved a couple feet from where he initially was, but he wasn't moving anymore. His breathing was very labored and I figured Kino probably hurt his lungs when he slapped his big paw on him. I gave him more Reiki and hoped it might help but after about a half hour, I could tell he wasn't going to make it. Since I wasn't sure how long it would take, I fretted for a while about what to do . . . move him somewhere else to die? or let him be. If I moved him into the front yard, a neighborhood cat or dog could get to him and I didn't want anything else to happen to him, so I decided to let him be and I promised I would keep Kino away from him.
When Kino had to go potty, I put a leash on him and brought him to a different part of the yard so he couldn't bother the rat anymore. Through out the day, I kept checking on the rat. When that part of the yard got shady and cool, I got a hand towel and wrapped it around him so he wouldn't get cold. No matter what I tried busying myself with inside the house, I kept finding myself back outside. I didn't want him to be alone. I wanted him to be at peace, I didn't want him to suffer and the only thing I could think of was to keep doing Reiki on him.
At one point, I sat with him and told him how sorry I was and the tears started to flow. I asked him to forgive Kino and cried some more. I promised him I would keep him safe until he passed away and the tears continued. I couldn't believe how emotional I was feeling about this rat, because I don't particularly like them but he was a living being and I believe all life should be honored. I knew I needed to treat him with dignity and respect in his final hours.
In the middle of all that, I was fortunate that one of my best friends called and I filled her in on what was happening. She thought that if the rat was out in the day light and that easy for Kino to "catch," that he must have already been sick. That made me feel a bit better . . . that possibly he was going to die anyway and maybe Kino just sped up the process.
I remembered that when I was little, we used bury fish/turtles, etc that died in little jewelry boxes and I felt I should do the same when he finally passed, so I started searching for a box that was big enough for him. He was really big - at least 7 inches long (not counting his tail) so I had trouble finding a box to fit him. I found one box that would fit him perfectly albeit a tight squeeze but it made me sad to think of him being buried in a bare box without some padding, so I kept searching until I found a box that would fit him and also the hand towel I had wrapped around him. I spent the rest of the afternoon digging a hole. Where I started to dig the first hole, I came across pipes that wouldn't let me dig deep enough for the box, so I moved to a new area and dug again.
Each time I checked on him, he was still breathing. I was surprised it was taking him so long to pass but he seemed so peaceful, I decided I should just hold the space for him until he was ready to go. Around 4:30pm, I moved him into the shed, so that I could let Kino out in the yard and also make sure he stayed safe. Wrapped up in the little blue towel, he looked so sweet it melted my heart. I told him I hoped he felt safe and loved in his final hours. And then I cried some more.
He finally passed around 5:30 but by then it was getting too dark to give him a proper burial so I put he and the blue towel in the box and left him in the shed. I hoped that his family and friends would be able to pay their respects to him if I left him there over night. (And given the amount of rat poop in the shed, I am pretty sure it's a regular hang out for all of them).
When I got into bed that night, I decided that if I was going to give him a respectful burial, he should have a name. I laid there for the longest time trying to pick the right name for him. I finally settled on Noah. That seemed to fit him. So today, I wrote a little note address to Noah and put it in the box with him, I cut a few flowers from the yard and put them in the box as well and then I buried it.
I believe that everything happens for a reason so I trust that there was a reason he ended up in my yard. Whether it was so Kino could help him transition more quickly or so he could be treated lovingly on his last day or both or maybe something else entirely. I do trust that it happened for a reason.
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