Since Kino came to live with me, he always gets very excited when I am getting ready to leave the house. It's a nice change from Lucky who looked so sad each time I was getting ready to leave that my heart would feel heavy in my chest, but still Kino's approach has come with its own set of challenges.
As soon as Kino realizes I am going to leave the house, he begins following me around the house, but not at a safe distance. He's right on my heels. What thrills him about my departure is that each time I leave the house, he gets a kong stuffed with wet dog foot, treats and peanut butter and based on his level of excitement, I'm quite sure it is the highlight of his day. I can almost hear him chanting, "I'm going to get a kong, I'm going to get kong, I can't wait til she leaves because I'm going to get a kong!"
Since Kino is right under my feet the whole time I am trying to get dressed and out the door, my stress level starts to go up. I find that the closer I get to my departure time, the more frazzled I am. As I walk back and forth between the bathroom and my dresser . . . to put on make up, to pick out jewelry, to brush my teeth, to put clothes on . . . he's right there behind me and I am constantly tripping over him. If I walk into the closet to grab a shirt, I trip over him as I am trying to walk back out of the closet because he's right on my heels, wondering when he's going to get his kong. Consequently, I often show up at my destination not completely put together . . . I'm missing earrings or a watch or I realize I never put lipstick on or I forgot my water bottle.
Recently, I was recounting this "routine" of ours to a friend of mine, laughing about how unrelaxed I feel by the time I get into the car and he asked if I had talked to Kino about it. I stopped to think about it, as I was sure I had although I couldn't remember exactly what I had said. Soon I found myself shaking my head as I recalled that what I was saying to him was, "Kino, back up!" and "Kino, you're not helping me." Clearly, these statements were not helping Kino understand what it was that I needed.
When I got home that night, I had a chat with Kino. I explained to him how anxious I get when he is right on my heels and asked him if he could give me some space when I am getting ready to go out. I suggested that maybe he could stay outside the bedroom while I am getting ready and told him that I thought we'd both feel better if I was less stressed when I was getting ready.
The next day when I got out of the shower and was attempting to get dressed, there was Kino, right behind me as I stepped back from the bathroom counter. I said, "Kino, I need you to give me some space." Much to my surprise, he walked over to the bedroom door and sat down. The whole time I was getting ready, he sat at the doorway of my bedroom watching me closely but not getting in my way. I couldn't believe how easy it was . . . and I hated to think about how long we have struggled through the "getting ready routine" when the solution was so simple. Yet rather than dwell on the past, I decided to focus on the present . . . because I had finally articulated my needs clearly, my sweet boy was giving me the space I needed to get ready. I thanked him for helping me and promised him that he would still get his kong. :-) I'm happy to report that Kino is now routinely "giving me my space" when I am getting ready to go out, although he does need a periodic reminder.
Are there any times where you feel your animals are just not "hearing" you? Maybe like me, you've fallen into the trap of thinking you had been more clear in your communication than you actually were. Our animals really do listen to us . . . the catch is that it's up to us to make sure we're being as clear as possible.
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