New Opportunity to Practice Gratitude

Last week, I sat down in the backyard to relax after a long day and saw a young rat walking slowly across my patio.  Initially, I was shocked at the guts he had, sauntering across my yard like that, and I'll admit, I'm never excited to see a rat running through my yard.  My irritation that a rat was in my yard gave way to compassion though when I realized he was dragging his back leg a bit and seemed disoriented.  Seeing that something was wrong with him compelled me to start sending him Reiki, as soon as he settled behind my lawn chair.  I stayed several feet away, as I didn't want to scare him, and for about twenty minutes, I sent him Reiki.  When I got up to go inside, he disappeared into the crack in the fence.  I felt relieved and hoped the energy had helped him.

The next afternoon, I was in the backyard making a mental note of the fact that I had exactly enough time to shower, get dressed, have a bite to eat and get to an appointment, when my little rodent friend appeared from behind a potted plant.  I watched him as he tried to walk across the patio and then collapsed.  I saw down on the ground next to him and started to send him Reiki, this time from less than a foot away.  I was worried about him and wasn't sure what to do to help him.  I thought maybe he was thirsty or hungry, so I got some water for him and some bread.  He drank some water but didn't touch the bread, so I went back inside and got some cheese for him.   He didn't seem interested in that either and it was then then I looked at the clock and realized how late it was.  After a very quick shower, I assured him I'd be back soon if he needed more Reiki, and flew out the door with wet hair and an empty stomach.  I hoped that he'd feel better by the time I returned.

Rushing back from my appointment, I ran straight into the backyard to find my little rodent friend laying on his side, gasping for breath with little drops of blood coming out of his nose.  I couldn't stop the tears from flowing as I realized the Reiki wasn't going to make him better, but instead was going to help him make his transition.

I don't know why it upset me as much as it did, but my heart was breaking for this little guy.  I called a friend of mind and tearfully told her what was going on, knowing she would understand since a baby crow had died in her yard a few weeks earlier.  She reminded me that everything is always in Divine order and that if he was going to die in my yard, it was because he was supposed to.  She suggested that I try to focus on gratitude, which we both agreed felt like an impossible feat at that moment and yet we were equally sure it was the right things to do.

For the next four or five hours, I sat with him and gave him Reiki.  I sat on the ground next to him, with my hand cupped over his little body and I could feel how much he appreciated the energy. The Reiki would help him get into a very peaceful state and he would fall asleep for a little while.  A few times, I wondered if maybe I needed to give him more space, so when he was asleep, I would get up and sit down somewhere else in the yard. When he would wake up, he'd try to move again, and each time, he would make it over to me and then collapse at my feet.  As I continued giving him Reiki, I kept telling him he was safe, that he was loved and that he was not alone . . . and I cried.  I realized it is the thing that we probably all want to know and my heart swelled with love, compassion and sadness.

I tried to focus on what I was grateful for . . . I was grateful that he felt comfortable enough to make his transition in my yard and I was grateful that I didn't have anywhere else I really needed to be so that I could hold the space for him and honor him on this last part of his journey here on earth.

Finally around 7pm, I decided the headache I had was probably not just from all the crying I had been doing but because I still hadn't eaten.  I went inside to make myself some dinner and when I returned to the yard, he was gone.  I suspect he went under my deck to finish his transition there.

After as emotional as I had been all day, I was surprised to find that I felt nothing but peace.  I knew I had done all I could for him and I trusted that it had unfolded the way it was supposed to.

It reminded me of the importance of honoring all life . . . even the lives of beings that we may not normally be drawn to.  I felt comfort in a deep knowing a had, that things really had unfolded in Divine order.  And I truly felt gratitude, for the opportunity I was given to play a role in this sweet little rat's transition.