The Beauty of Animal Behavior

Sometimes I wish I could video tape my sessions with animals so that I could play the tapes for people who don't believe animals are as capable of thinking and feeling as they are.

I had a session last weekend with a woman and her three dogs and if I had a tape for people to watch of our time together, I think it would dispel many of the beliefs people have about animals. You wouldn't be able to believe animals don't understand everything we say. You wouldn't be able to believe that animals don't have feelings or that they can process information. You wouldn't be able to believe that it isn't important to animals that they feel respected.

The guardian of these three dogs contacted me because the dogs were exhibiting new, strange and sometimes destructive behavior. She told me that Mickey, the german shepherd and Emma, the standard poodle had been with her for many years. Tony, the new little guy who is a poodle/bishon, white fluffy ball of energy, had recently joined their family. She realized that many of the issues she was dealing with began once Tony came to live with them.

When I first arrived, they all greeted me, but then Mickey went to lay in his crate, clearly wanting to be on his own. As I visited with Emma, Tony and their guardian, I began learning more about the new behaviors that had recently cropped up and was trying to get a sense of what was going on with everyone. When we walked into the room where Mickey's crate was, he let out a small, deep growl to let me know he needed his space. I understood and respected that, although, I'll confess, I was a little bummed to discover that my deep connection with Lucky didn't give me an immediate "in" with all german shepherds. :-)

We called Mickey over a few times to talk about what was going on, and while he did come over each time, he didn't show much interest in interacting with me and would go back to his crate within a few minutes. I could tell that he wasn't sure what to think of me and was definitely on guard, silently watching me out of the corner of his eye. He wasn't ready to trust me yet.

At one point, the dogs noticed someone walking in front of their house. Mickey jumped out of his crate and ran to the front window to bark and let them know the house was protected, and Tony ran to the front window too, and began barking. After a minute or so, Mickey seemed irritated with Tony and went back to his crate, as Tony continued to bark and bark. I could feel Mickey's frustration and I kept sensing he was feeling kind of defeated, although I didn't understand that part just yet. I just knew Tony was bothering him.

I started to explain to their guardian that I was sensing some "role confusion" . . . Mickey always felt it was his job to protect the house, to protect her, but now that Tony was here, and trying to play such an active role in protecting the house, Mickey was feeling confused and a little frustrated. I suspected it was why Mickey had been engaging in one of the new odd behaviors (pulling food off the island in the kitchen for all the dogs to enjoy). I suggested that maybe the role of protecting the house should remain Mickey's role and that we could find another "job" for Tony to do. As soon as I made that statement, Mickey came out of his crate, walked right up to me and licked my cheek. I could feel his gratitude for being able to articulate what he was feeling and I also sensed he was a little more convinced that maybe it wasn't a bad thing that I was there.

A little while later, the guardian wanted to show me the backyard. I can't remember what the impetus was for us to go back there, but as we got to the backyard, she pointed out that the dogs used to have access to the side yard and the whole backyard, and she mentioned that now they only had access to the side yard. All three dogs joined us in the backyard as we continued to talk and I asked her why the dogs no longer had access to the backyard. She explained that in the first week Tony was there, he fell into the pool and she was so worried it would happen again, that she wasn't letting any of them go out there.

As I was explaining how Mickey and Emma felt about that, how it made them less excited that Tony joined their family (since his presence had actually taken away some of the things they enjoyed most), Mickey came over to me again, licked my face and then rolled over on his back at my feet, letting me know a belly-rub would be appreciated and accepted. To see the transformation in him, from growling at me, to licking my face, to rolling over on his back, it was undeniable that the transformation in his attitude towards me was directly related to how I was speaking on his behalf. Animals appreciate being "heard" just as much as humans do.

Their guardian and I talked about how it would be better for Tony to learn how to walk around the pool (and not fall in) than to keep all the dogs out of the backyard. I could sense this was part of the reason Mickey and Emma hadn't been too excited about Tony's arrival. As we were discussing this, Emma came over and offered me her paw, as if saying, "Why thank you very much, what a pleasure it has been to have you here today." :-) She was so darling about it and I could feel a lightness in both she and Mickey that hadn't been there when I first arrived.

One of the other issues their guardian had been dealing with, was that they all were acting needy and competing for her attention, which was something they hadn't done before. When she would sit down in a chair, if one of the dogs came over to get pet, the other two would rush over and they would all be trying to push each other out of the way to get her attention. If she picked Tony up and put him in her lap, Emma and Mickey would try climbing up there too, which wasn't a good thing because it could result in her getting physically injured. It was definitely a competition for her attention and one that shouldn't continue.

I suggested that she try giving them attention one at a time, so they each got some of her undivided attention but they would also know they couldn't ambush her anymore. We decided to have me give it a try and see how it worked. At first, things were going great. I sat down on the floor to pet Mickey and when Emma and Tony came over to try and horn in on the attention, I told them it was Mickey's turn for attention and they would get their turn soon. Much to my delight, they both accepted that and sat down, quietly and patiently watching us.

Then when it was Emma's turn for attention, Tony tried to push his way in and I explained that it wasn't his turn yet. Mickey lifted his head off the floor, and I could tell he was contemplating a move over in me and Emma's direction too but I said "Mickey, you just had your turn, it's Emma's turn now" and he put his head back down on the floor and closed his eyes. Their guardian and I were both so pleased with how this was going, excited to see that they were understanding and respecting the boundary we were trying to set. I continued to pet Emma for a while, while she gleefully soaked up the attention.

Then I was Tony's turn, so I called him over to me and reminded everyone that it was now Tony's turn for some attention, at which time Ella and Mickey immediately ambushed me and no one was listening anymore. It was total chaos in a matter of seconds. Their guardian and I couldn't help but laugh . . . clearly this was going to take a little more practice to put into place. It was evident that while Mickey and Emma respected each other, that respect did not include Tony just yet and it was going to take some time to get them to show him the same courtesy that they showed one another.

The thing that continues to amaze me is how much we can learn from an animal's behavior. It is their primary way of communicating with us and they tell us so much with their actions. There are so many insights we can glean, if we just observe them. When I am communicating with animals, I think I pick up as much information from their behavior and responses as I do from what I hear and feel from them empathically. The swish of a tail, the eye contact, or lack of eye contact, etc . . . each little nuance in their behavior can tell us so much. It's just a matter of paying close attention to how they respond as we speak and as we act.

The other night, I went to a client's house to give Reiki to one of her cats. The cat hadn't been herself lately and her guardian was concerned about her. When I arrived, she was laying on the back of the couch, so I sat down next to her and after telling her what I was going to do, I put my hands on her. Her tail started to swish in a way that told her guardian she wasn't happy, yet she didn't get up and move. I wanted to be respectful of what she was trying to tell me and at the same time, I sensed she needed some healing energy. I thought maybe having my hands on her was too intense, so I held my hands a few inches away from her body and began giving her Reiki that way. Once again, her tail started to swish, and yet again, she didn't get up and move away.

I suggested to her guardian that maybe she was very sensitive to the energy and needed to receive it from a distance. Some animals are so sensitive to healing energy that hands-on Reiki is too much for them. I moved a short distance from her and began sending Reiki to her that way. Immediately her tail stopped swishing, and my hands really began to heat up. Clearly, that was what she needed me to do and she drifted off into a peaceful sleep for the rest of the hour. I was thrilled to get an email from her guardian the next day, reporting that her cat was back to her old self again. Her guardian and I now know that if she needs Reiki again in the future, I need to do it from a distance because that's the way she best receives it.

The closer attention we pay to our animals behavior, the more we can understand what they are trying to tell us. While their communication can often be very subtle, it is still filled with great meaning and insights for us.

And on an unrelated topic, I had an interesting experience this week that is tied to something I wrote about just a few weeks ago. It all started when I pulled out a subdudes CD that I hadn't listened to in quite a while. I was enjoying the CD, until a particular song came on and I immediately started to cry. I hadn't heard that song, called Sugar Pie, in years and I thought it was odd that I hadn't, since I listen to their music so often. The more I thought about it, the more I came to realize that I had purposely NOT listened to that song. When I played that particular CD, I would fast forward past Sugar Pie each time it came on. I was curious about this, and did some mental exploration.

I remembered that Sugar Pie was one of my most favorite songs when the CD came out in the late 90's, and I remembered that I had called Lucky "Sugar Pie" for years, probably because of my love of that song. As I listened to the lyrics, it all finally clicked . . . I had stopped listening to the song in 2001 or 2002, because I believed at that time, based on what the animal communicator had told me, that Lucky was only going to live to be nine and that's when Lucky was approaching her ninth birthday. Based on my belief that she was going to leave me at nine years of age, I stopped listening to the song because it made me cry too much, and it was also when when I stopped calling Lucky "Sugar Pie."

I sat down and played the song again, this time focusing on the lyrics and it made sense why the song upset me so much back then . . . I was so afraid of losing Lucky, so afraid of her passing and afraid of how my grief might consume me, that I couldn't bare to listen to the song because the lyrics were about someone passing away. It was something I didn't want to think about and wasn't ready to accept at the time, so that song ended up on my "Do Not Play" list.

Here are some partial Sugar Pie lyrics:

Chorus:

Sugar Pie, Sugar Pie, sit by me

Sugar Pie, Sugar Pie, sit by me

I’ve got the stories, I’ve got the memories


Some that cry, oh and some that laugh


I’ve got them saved up like your little pennies


Oh little baby in your piggy bank

Now time has passed and you are so far away

Can't get used to not seeing you each day

But there's one place in the back of my mind

Where I can go and see you anytime

And for you to me, forever you will be my . . .

Sugar Pie, Sugar Pie, sit by me

Sugar Pie, Sugar Pie, sit by me

I'm happy to say, the song now brings me comfort. I have been listening to it every day and each time, I smile as I am reminded there there is a place I can go, in the back of my mind, and see her anytime. I know that forever she will be . . . my Sugar Pie.