Communication challenge

People often ask me "If my animal can understand everything I say, why won't they always do what I ask them to do?"  The honest answer is "because sometimes they don't want to do it." 

It's not that they are being mean or disrespectful.  Often times, it's just a case of their desire to do something being stronger than their desire to honor our request.  

Many people will argue that animals just want to please us, therefore it makes sense to them that an animal would do whatever they could to make us happy.  I believe that while they DO want to please us and in most cases will do whatever they can to make us happy . . . they are still thinking, feeling beings with their own wants and desires.  

Animals aren't much different than children that way.  A parent may ask their child to not do something (i.e. don't jump on the couch) but regardless of their desire to please their parent, the fun they get from jumping on the couch out-ways their desire to make their parents happy. 

I have several clients who are struggling with this and I am struggling with it as well.  I have one client whose dog keeps licking her paw.  She has licked it so much that it is a huge open sore now and her guardian and I are both worried it is going to get infected.  Regardless of how many times we have explained to her that the licking is only making it worse, how many times we have asked her to please stop licking it and give it a chance to heal, she continues to lick it and the wound continues to get worse.  Another client has a cat who has started to refuse to use the cat box.  We talked to her about how important it was for her to use the cat box. (that didn't work) Then we thought it was a medical issue or a mental (dimensia type) issue but it's difficult to categorize the behavior as either of those, because she will walk right up to a cat box and past it, and then go potty on the floor a foot away, or her guardian will put her in the cat box and she'll refuse to go potty, but she'll step out of the cat box and go potty 6 inches away.

In these cases, we often have to resort to other means . . . such as e-collars to keep them from licking themselves or confining an animal to one room so they don't go potty all over the house. But it can bring up a lot of frustration with guardians . . . especially when the solutions aren't as easy as an e-collar or confining an animal).  

My current issue with Lucky is her intense desire to "clean up after herself" when she has a poop accident.  I have talked to her about it repeatedly, told her how upset it makes me when she eats her own poop, told her how I don't mind cleaning up when she has an accident and to please leave it for me, I have reminded her of how upset her stomach gets when she eats her own poop . . . but the challenge continues.  Lucky has accidents from time to time, and when she does, she will attempt to 'scarf up the evidence' before I get a chance to clean it up.  

I know part of the issue is a matter of pride for her.  She is embarrassed that she has these accidents from time to time, which she and I both know she doesn't have any control over.  She wants to 'clean up' so she doesn't have to be embarrassed that it happened. She also thinks she is saving me the hassle of cleaning it up if she does it.  I have talked to her about both of those things and I try to be as understanding as possible but it continues to be an issue with the two of us. 

Yesterday, I had a long talk with her again, about how I understood the pride issue, and her desire to make things 'easier on me' but reiterated again how strongly I would like her to let ME do the clean up when she has an accident.  I was hopeful that I had gotten through to her. 

Unfortunately, last night when we were out in the yard for her last potty break before bed, she managed to grab a piece of her own poop that was in the yard, that I hadn't yet picked up and woof it down before I even knew what was happening.  For a moment, I was furious . . . as this didn't fit the description of a "pride issue" or a "I don't want mom to have to clean the carpet issue."  The only answer I could come up with was that her desire to eat her own poop outweighed any desire she had to honor my request or "please me."  I sense this is going to continue to be a struggle for us because I don't know how to lessen her desire for one or increase her desire for the other.  

I guess sometimes we just have to accept the fact that these thinking, feeling, intelligent beings we share our lives with really do have minds of their own . . . and from time to time, what they want is not going to be in harmony with what we want.