Leave People Better Than You Found Them

I saw something recently that really hit home for me, as it is something that matches what I truly admire as well.

What do you admire most in a person?

The ability to leave people better than they found them

 To have conversations that heal instead of hurt

To make people feel safe instead of judged

To be the reason someone walks away with a smile on their face or in their heart instead of questioning their worth

That is a rare kind of beautiful 

I strive to show up this way every day. While I may not be perfect at it, it continues to be a daily goal for me. Whether it is a work setting, a personal relationship or with strangers - it can and in many cases I have been able to witness - what a palpable difference is usually makes.

Even if the impact of your interaction isn't evident at the time, or ever known for that matter, holding that intention to show up in the world that way is what is important.

I invite you to consider this when you are interacting with other human beings. We don't need to do it perfectly. Over time, it may become more and more natural for us. (I think of it as if we are building a muscle.) To me, the most important thing is having the goal to show up this way, a genuine desire to leave people better than we found them.

If you feel inspired, you can also substitute the word "people" with animals and strive to treat animals (4 legged and winged) that way as well. I get to witness this all the time, watching the kindness and respect that exists between animals and across different species of animals. The ways they interact with each other, support and look out for each other has never stopped putting a smile on my face and in my heart. It encourages me to keep doing better. 

We may not love what we see happening in the world. It may feel overwhelmingly negative at times. It may be down right painful to observe. What we see going on around us may leave us feeling helpless and defeated - wondering what we can do. Fortunately for us, the one thing we are able to do is be responsible for the way we treat one another. 

What if this was not a rarity but rather the way we all showed up for and interacted with each other? 

Leaving people better than we found them

Having conversations that heal instead of hurt

Making people feel safe instead of judged

Being the reason someone walks away with a smile on their face or in their heart instead of questioning their worth

I ponder this quite often . . . What would happen if we were lifting each other up, if we were letting everyone we interact with know they have been seen, heard, valued and appreciated? What would this world be like if we all showed up this way for everyone we interacted with? If we left people better than we found them? 

Just for today, would you consider giving it a try? And if you like how it feels, and/or you get to see how someone else responds to being treated this way, would you consider doing it again? And again? As I said, holding this intention / desire is key, perfection is not a requirement. I can't help but think this might be a way for each of us to make a big collective positive impact on the world - and we never know when the "tipping point" will occur. 

 

Focusing On What We CAN Control

I originally wrote part of this back in 2019. Since it still feels relevant, I am adding to it and sharing it again.

It's probably no surprise that I hold the belief that we should treat all living things with kindness and respect. I guess it kind of goes hand in hand with being an animal communicator and an empath. Yet I am still delighted when I receive a sweet little piece of confirmation that my approach is appreciated.

A few years ago, I was sitting at the kitchen table, working on the computer when I heard what sounded like yelling outside the house. My German shepherd, Kino, heard it at the same time as me and began to bark. With his barking drowning out the commotion, I couldn't distinguish what the sounds were exactly so I got up to look out the kitchen window.

Much to my disappointment I saw three kids bothering a crow that was on my front lawn.  They were flapping their arms and lunging towards him aggressively, while yelling "Caw Caw."  I ran out the front door. The kids ran away and the crow flew up over my house. I felt so bad for the crow. I don't ever like to see anyone (human or animal) be teased or frightened and I knew I had to say something . . . and in that moment, I knew it needed to be the crow.

I got to the edge of the walkway where the driveway begins but I couldn't see him anywhere. I had no idea if he was still around but I hoped that he would be able to hear me and began speaking to him. I told him that I was very sorry he had been treated that way and I hoped he knew he was always welcome in my yard.

I questioned for a moment whether I was crazy or not, trying to talk to a crow that may be long gone but then I heard a sound above my head. When I looked at the top of the garage there he was, walking to the edge of the roof line so I could see him. He stared at me with what appeared to be a complete recognition of what I had just said. 

Telling him again that I was sorry about what happened, I reminded him that I appreciated his presence and hoped that he was ok. After a few more seconds of eye contact, he turned around and flew off the roof of the garage. 

Satisfied with the outcome, I went back inside the house and explained to Kino what had occurred. It made me realize how well the situation illustrated the very thing that many people have been grappling with lately - which is around the importance of focusing on what we CAN control.  

I'm not going to lie - I DID have the thought that I'd like to run outside and yell at the kids for being unkind to the crow but I knew doing that would just create more negative energy and likely not change the kids behavior.  

What I DID have control over was speaking to the crow and showing him respect so that is what I decided to do. Coming from my heart in that conversation, the energy I put out was more positive and loving, which is an energy I would prefer to be in and around. 

We all get to choose, in each moment, how we are going to react and respond to things. Are we going to complain about what other people are doing or what we think they should be doing differently? Or are we going to look at what is within OUR control at that moment. I'm certainly not perfect in my responses all the time but I do know that each time I respond from a place of love instead of judgement, I feel a whole lot better. Each time I am able to focus on where my words might actually make a difference I feel more empowered.

Update: Two years ago, I lost my beloved Kino. The following day two crows showed up in my yard. Day after day, week after week, these two crows came every single day. They were there at sun up and stayed throughout the day so I began feeding them and putting out fresh water for them. 

One day, with a heavy heart I finally pushed myself to buy a watermelon. I absolutely love watermelon but it was something I hadn't been able to eat since Kino had passed because he also loved watermelon so much and the thought of dicing one up without him there under the cutting board was more than I felt my heart could handle.

That day I managed to cut up a watermelon. In honor of my sweet boy, I decided to bring some of it out back to share with the crows. They were thrilled that I shared some with them, so it was something I began doing weekly. I never got tired of seeing their excitement when I walked out with a dish of the juicy red fruit for them. Seeing their excitement over this "treat" helped me tap into joy again (and I was able to resume my addiction to watermelon.)  :-) 

I am sure it is no surprise that my love and respect for crows deepened even more in the months after Kino passed away. They were my anchor and I have no doubt that Kino sent them because he knew if any bird was already in my heart, it was the crows.

Each time I see a crow, no matter where I am, it reminds me to pause and make sure I am focusing on the things that I CAN control . . . my responses and reactions to things, my own life and my own path. They serve as a reminder to me to look at myself and what I can do - rather than looking at what others are doing (or not doing) and put any of my energy or attention there. 

Here are some questions for you to ponder if you'd like to: Where are you putting your attention? Where is your energy going? Are you focusing on things you can control? Or are you focusing on things outside of your control? Often times, observing that and making some shifts and adjustments on where we are putting our energy and attention can make a big positive difference in how we feel, how things unfold in our own lives. Would you be willing to give it a try?

From Chaos to Peace

 Just like humans, animals have the same desire to be seen, heard, understood and appreciated. 

It is my belief that we ALL deserve these basic things . . .  and yet sadly, most people and animals don't feel this way. They don't feel seen, heard, understood or appreciated.

The good news though is it isn't difficult to accomplish this . . . it often only requires us to be present and to really listen.

Sometimes I wish I had video taped my sessions with animals back in the early years when I was doing all my Animal Communication sessions in person so that I could play the videos for people who don't believe animals are as capable of thinking and feeling as they are. 

One of my favorite examples of this is from many years ago, but it made a lasting impression on me. I met with a woman and her three dogs - two large dogs - and one small dog with a big personality. If people could see what transpired that day, I think it would easily dispel many of the beliefs people have about animals. People would see evidence that animals understand everything we say. They would have no doubt that animals have feelings and that they can process information. They would clearly understand how much animals appreciate being heard and respected.

The guardian of these three dogs had contacted me because the dogs were exhibiting new, strange and sometimes destructive behavior. She told me that Mickey, the German shepherd and Emma, the standard poodle had been with her for many years. Tony, the new little guy who was a mix - a white fluffy ball of energy, had recently joined their family. As I asked her questions about these new unwanted behaviors, she began to realize that many of the issues she was dealing with started shortly after Tony came to live with them. 

When I first arrived, they all greeted me, but Mickey went almost immediately to lay in his crate, clearly not too sure about me. As I visited with Emma, Tony and their guardian, I began learning more about the new behaviors that had recently cropped up and was trying to get a sense of what was going on with everyone. When we walked into the room where Mickey's crate was, he let out a small, deep growl to let me know he needed his space. I understood and respected that, although, I'll confess, I was a little bummed to discover that my deep connection with my own German shepherd, Lucky, didn't give me an immediate "in" with all German shepherds. :-)

We called Mickey over a few times to talk about what was going on, and while he did come over each time, he didn't show much interest in interacting with me and would go back to his crate within a few minutes. I could tell that he wasn't sure what to think of me and was definitely on guard, silently watching me out of the corner of his eye, not ready to trust me yet. 

A few minutes later, the dogs noticed someone walking in front of their house. Mickey jumped out of his crate and ran to the front window to bark and let them know the house was protected, and right on his heels was Tony who ran to the front window too and began barking. After a minute or so, Mickey seemed irritated with Tony and went back to his crate, while Tony continued to bark and bark. I could feel Mickey's frustration and I kept sensing he was feeling kind of defeated, although I didn't understand that part just yet. I just knew Tony was bothering him.

As I sat there tuning into the energy, I could sense some "role confusion" . . . and pieces began to click into place. Mickey always felt it was his job to protect the house, to protect her, but now that Tony was here trying to play such an active role in protecting the house, Mickey was feeling confused and a little frustrated. I suspected it was why Mickey had been engaging in one of the new odd behaviors (pulling food off the island in the kitchen for all the dogs to enjoy). I suggested that maybe the role of protecting the house should remain Mickey's role and that we could find another "job" for Tony to do. As soon as I made that statement, Mickey came out of his crate, walked right up to me and licked my cheek. I could feel his gratitude for my being able to articulate what he was feeling and I also sensed he was a little more convinced that maybe it wasn't such a bad thing that I was there. 

A little while later, the guardian wanted to show me the backyard. I can't remember what the impetus was for us to go back there, but as we got to the backyard, she pointed out that the dogs used to have access to the whole entire backyard, but that now they only had access to the side yard. I asked if we could all go into the backyard together and she said yes so all three dogs joined us in the backyard. As we continued to talk and I asked her why the dogs no longer had access to the whole backyard. She explained that in the first week Tony was there, he fell into the pool and she was so worried it would happen again, that she wasn't letting any of them go out there.

I told her that it was likely a contributing factor in the new unwanted behaviors. They were no longer allowed to enjoy the backyard like they used to and that wasn't making them very happy. As I was explaining how Mickey and Emma felt about that, how it made them even less excited that Tony joined their family (since his presence had actually taken away some of the things they enjoyed most), Mickey came over to me again, licked my face and then rolled over on his back at my feet, letting me know a belly-rub would be appreciated and accepted. To see the transformation in him, from growling at me, to licking my face, to rolling over on his back, it was undeniable that the change in his attitude towards me was directly related to how I was speaking on his behalf. Animals appreciate being "heard" just as much as humans do.

Their guardian and I talked about how it would be better for Tony to learn how to walk around the pool (and not fall in) than to keep all the dogs out of the backyard. As we were discussing some different options for how she could teach this to Tony, Emma came over and offered me her paw, as if saying, "Why thank you very much, what a pleasure it has been to have you here today." :-) She was so darling about it and I could feel a lightness in both she and Mickey that hadn't been there when I first arrived. We were making some real headway!

One of the other issues their guardian had been dealing with was that they all were acting very needy and competing for her attention, which was something they hadn't done before. When she sat down in a chair, if one of the dogs came over to get some pets from her, the other two would rush over and try to push each other out of the way to get her attention. If she picked Tony up and put him in her lap, things got even worse -  Emma and Mickey would try climbing up there too, which wasn't a good thing because it could result in her getting physically injured. It was definitely a competition for her attention and one that shouldn't continue. 

I suggested that she could try giving them attention one at a time, so they each got some of her undivided attention. I went onto explain that they would also need to learn that they couldn't ambush her anymore so clear boundaries would need to be set and consistently upheld. We decided to have me give it a try first to see how it worked. Initially things were going great. I sat down on the floor to pet Mickey and when Emma and Tony came over to try and horn in on the attention, I told them it was Mickey's turn for attention and they would get their turn soon. Much to my delight, they both accepted that and sat down, quietly and patiently watching us.

Then when it was Emma's turn for attention, Tony tried to push his way in and I explained that it wasn't his turn yet. Mickey lifted his head off the floor, and I could tell he was contemplating a move over in me and Emma's direction too but I said "Mickey, you just had your turn, it's Emma's turn now" and he put his head back down on the floor and closed his eyes. Their guardian and I were both so pleased with how this was going, excited to see that they were understanding and respecting the boundary we were trying to set. I continued to pet Emma for a while, while she gleefully soaked up the attention. 

Then it was Tony's turn, so I called him over to me and reminded everyone that it was now Tony's turn for some attention, at which time Ella and Mickey immediately ambushed me and no one was listening anymore. It was total chaos in a matter of seconds. Their guardian and I couldn't help but laugh . . . clearly this was going to take a little more practice to put into place. It was evident that while Mickey and Emma respected each other, that respect did not include Tony just yet and it was going to take some time for them to trust him and show him the same courtesy that they showed one another. None the less, it was an encouraging first attempt. 

That particular appointment was a stand-out for me and has stuck with me all these years. It is such a great example of how much animals want to be seen, heard, understood and appreciated just as much as us humans do and it is one of my favorite aspects of the work I do (both with animals and with humans) - when I can assist in opening this door and see the positive reaction.

So my question to you is this . . . what can you do today to help the people and/or animals in your life feel seen, heard, understood and appreciated. Whether it is at work or at home, what action could take? 

Maybe it is YOU that needs this - and if so, how can you show up for yourself? What can you do to honor and respect yourself? Are you listening to others more than you are listening to yourself? If so, maybe today is the day to ignore everyone else's opinion and follow your own heart, your own inner guidance. If people don't appreciate you and the things you do, can you spend a few minutes each day appreciating yourself? 

No matter what you do, chances are you might be pleasantly surprised by the positive shifts it creates. 

Choosing How We Will Respond

It's probably no surprise that I hold the belief that we should treat all living things with kindness and respect. I guess it kind of goes hand in hand with being an animal communicator and an empath. Yet I am still delighted when I receive a sweet little piece of confirmation that my approach is appreciated.

Many years ago, I was sitting at the kitchen table, working on my laptop when I heard what sounded like yelling outside the house. Kino heard it at the same time as me and began to bark. With his barking drowning out the commotion, I couldn't distinguish exactly what the sounds were so I got up to look out the kitchen window.

Much to my disappointment I saw three kids bothering a crow that was on my front lawn. They were flapping their arms and lunging towards him aggressively, while yelling "Caw Caw." When they got close to him, he flew up over my house. I felt so bad for the crow. I don't ever like to see anyone (human or animal) be teased or frightened and I knew I needed to say something. 

I'm not going to lie - I DID have the thought that I'd like to run outside and yell at the kids for being unkind to the crow but I knew doing that was just going to create more negative energy and likely not change their behavior. I decided the best thing I could do in that moment was speak to the crow.

Walking out the front door, I got to the edge of the walkway where the driveway begins but couldn't see him anywhere. I had no idea if he was still around but I hoped that he would be able to hear me and I began speaking to him. I told him that I was very sorry he had been treated that way and I hoped he knew he was always welcome in my yard.

I questioned for a moment whether or not I was crazy to talk to a crow that may be long gone but then I heard a sound above my head. When I looked at the top of the garage there he was, walking to the edge of the roof line so I could see him. He looked at me for a moment, with what felt like a complete recognition of what I had just said. Telling him again that I was sorry about what happened, I reminded him that I appreciated his presence and hoped that he was ok. After a few more seconds of intense eye contact, he turned around and flew off the roof of the garage. 

Satisfied with the outcome, I went back inside the house and explained to Kino what had occurred. It made me realize how well the situation illustrated the very thing that many people have been grappling with lately - which is around the importance of focusing on what we CAN control when a situation causes us to feel frustration.

In that moment, what I DID have control over was speaking to the crow and showing him some kindness and respect.  Coming from my heart in that conversation, the energy I put out was more positive and loving, which is an energy I would prefer to be in and around.

The experience highlighted something that feels even more important today than when it first occurred - We all get to choose, in each moment, how we are going to react and respond to things.  

Are we going to respond loudly and aggressively to people who are being loud and aggressive? Or can we find another way to respond? Will we focus our energy on complaining about what we think other people should be doing differently - when it likely won't have any impact on the person? Or put our attention on something / someone who could benefit from some kindness.

I'm certainly not perfect in my responses but I do know that each time I can respond from a place of love instead of judgement, kindness instead of frustration, I feel much more peaceful inside. 

In recent years, I am even turning that kindness towards myself . . . for instance when I am in the car and another driver does something that startles me or nearly causes an accident. Rather than complain about the person's awful driving (which they aren't going to hear anyway), I now offer myself kindness, reassurance and some words of encouragement. It may sound a bit crazy but it has helped me immensely - as it can move me out of adrenaline rush and into a state of calm rather quickly.

We always have a choice - and we get to decide in each moment what we want to focus on and how we would like to respond. Just a little something to keep in mind . . . :-) 

A Transition at the Elephant Sanctuary

There is a wonderful elephant sanctuary in Brazil that I follow. The couple who run the sanctuary, Scott and Kat, are some of the most beautiful souls I have ever seen. Sometimes reading their updates on the elephants and hearing about the way they are treated at the sanctuary brings tears to my eyes. Scott, Kat and their team truly understand and embody the importance of love, respect and patience with animals. I continue to be deeply touched by the way they honor and respect these beautiful creatures.

It was with great sadness that they reported today that one of the elephants at their sanctuary passed away yesterday, yet when I read about the respect, love and deep honoring between the animals in their update today, I just knew this needed to be shared. My hope is that it will help others bear witness to the depth that animals have and how much respect they are worthy of. If you follow their page on Facebook, you will likely be awed by the humility and grace that Scott and Kat exemplify. They truly embody the understanding of how animals deserve to be treated.

If you are interested in learning more about this incredible sanctuary, you can find them on Facebook at Global Sanctuary for Elephants. Their website site, which is full of incredible information about how and why they created the sanctuary, lovely information about each elephant that is there as well as ways you can support them is: https://globalelephants.org

It is with heavy hearts that we announce this morning that Pocha passed away last evening. While we don’t yet know the cause of death, a necropsy will be done shortly to help us determine what happened - though we may not have results right away.

While Pocha was in Mendoza we did, on occasion, see small signs that made us worry that she had underlying health issues, but nothing was ever diagnosed. When she and Guillermina arrived here at Elephant Sanctuary Brazil, she had had an instance where she became tired and was a little slower to eat but, after a multivitamin shot, she improved. A few days ago, we noticed that she was picky with her hay, though she was still grazing and enjoying all of the produce that she was given. After a vitamin shot last night, she looked brighter and, though still tired, had more light in her eyes. However, when we returned to check on her later in the evening, we found that she had passed.

Guillermina, who was sharing the yards near the barn with her mother, gave long rumbles to call her friends - and you could hear them rumbling back to her. Once we opened the gates for the other girls to enter, Bambi, Mara, and Rana were there waiting to be with Guille. Rana walked over to Pocha with Guillermina for a few minutes and then went back to the others. Next, Bambi walked over, but stayed at a distance, somewhat wide-eyed and looking concerned. After Bambi returned to the other girls, Mara came and stayed with Guille and Pocha. After that, one by one, the other girls returned, this time Bambi backing up to Pocha, smelling her and caressing her face. Just after midnight, they all stood on different sides of Pocha, quiet and relaxed, having one of those elephant moments that only they understand. A little before 4 am, Maia also came to be with Guillermina.

Each girl stood nearby, some longer than others, and observed Pocha’s body with respect. Elephants have an innate ability to communicate with each other in ways we will never understand and that’s what appeared to be happening among this group of herd mates. With all of our years working with elephants, we have never seen this level of herd support given to another during a passing. Their support is proving much more familial in nature than we have witnessed at sanctuary in the past and, although sad, there is also something incredibly beautiful about what is taking place.

As she is coming to understand what has happened to Pocha, Guillermina has been very gentle with her mother. She touches her and smells her and caresses her with her trunk, seeming to sense that her mother is no longer of this earth. While Guille didn’t stand completely over her mother’s body (which elephants sometimes do), she did very gently maneuver her feet over Pocha’s front legs and stayed there for a while.

Though this is a difficult time and it can be hard to process such a loss, we have gratitude toward Pocha for the love and stability she was able to provide to Guillermina for 24 years. Once the two were at sanctuary, she was able to see her daughter experience true joy and begin to build relationships with other elephants - something that might have only been a dream for Pocha. There were moments when you could see Pocha watching Guille with the other elephants, and she had the brightest look on her face. We also hold a great sense of relief that both made the journey to sanctuary before Pocha’s passing, so that Guillermina is not processing her grief alone; she now has other elephants to turn to. Perhaps Pocha had a sense that her time at sanctuary was short and encouraged Guille to branch out, enjoy life with friends, explore nature, and truly discover what life as an elephant is meant to be. 

In a few short months, she was able to remember that the world was more than just a concrete wall in front of her. In actuality, life could be big and beautiful and filled with opportunity - and she was also able to give that big life to her daughter with love and a sense of immense pride.

What It Means to Give

Recently I came across this story - an excerpt from Everything Good in the World where Katherine Hepburn shares an experience she had as a child. On this day she learned an important lesson about giving and it moved me so deeply, I just had to share it. 

In this year of 2021, it is my hope that more and more people will understand the value and the joy of giving, that more people will learn to "see" with their hearts, respond with love and compassion for others. I truly believe we have the ability to shift the consciousness of our planet and that the choice is in our hands - from one moment to the next. 

Katherine Hepburn, 1921.

In her own words:

“Once when I was a teenager, my father and I were standing in line to buy tickets for the circus.

Finally, there was only one other family between us and the ticket counter. This family made a big impression on me.

There were eight children, all probably under the age of 12. The way they were dressed, you could tell they didn't have a lot of money, but their clothes were neat and clean.

The children were well-behaved, all of them standing in line, two-by-two behind their parents, holding hands. They were excitedly jabbering about the clowns, animals, and all the acts they would be seeing that night. By their excitement you could sense they had never been to the circus before. It would be a highlight of their lives.

The father and mother were at the head of the pack standing proud as could be. The mother was holding her husband's hand, looking up at him as if to say, "You're my knight in shining armor." He was smiling and enjoying seeing his family happy.

The ticket lady asked the man how many tickets he wanted? He proudly responded, "I'd like to buy eight children's tickets and two adult tickets, so I can take my family to the circus." The ticket lady stated the price.

The man's wife let go of his hand, her head dropped, the man's lip began to quiver. Then he leaned a little closer and asked, "How much did you say?" The ticket lady again stated the price.

The man didn't have enough money. How was he supposed to turn and tell his eight kids that he didn't have enough money to take them to the circus?

Seeing what was going on, my dad reached into his pocket, pulled out a $20 bill, and then dropped it on the ground. (We were not wealthy in any sense of the word!) My father bent down, picked up the $20 bill, tapped the man on the shoulder and said, "Excuse me, sir, this fell out of your pocket."

The man understood what was going on. He wasn't begging for a handout but certainly appreciated the help in a desperate, heartbreaking and embarrassing situation.

He looked straight into my dad's eyes, took my dad's hand in both of his, squeezed tightly onto the $20 bill, and with his lip quivering and a tear streaming down his cheek, he replied; "Thank you, thank you, sir. This really means a lot to me and my family."

My father and I went back to our car and drove home. The $20 that my dad gave away is what we were going to buy our own tickets with.

Although we didn't get to see the circus that night, we both felt a joy inside us that was far greater than seeing the circus could ever provide.

That day I learned the value to give.

The giver is bigger than the receiver. If you want to be large, larger than life, learn to Give. Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get - only with what you are expecting to give - which is everything.

The importance of giving, blessing others can never be over emphasized because there's always joy in giving. Learn to make someone happy by acts of giving.”

~ Katharine Hepburn

(from Everything Good in the World)

We Can Choose What To Focus On

At the end of my last post, I mentioned that some of my best friends from college and I were sharing our most favorite song at the moment and that while I was writing that blog, a response came through from one of them mentioning U2's "Love Is Bigger Than Anything In Its Way" and I said it couldn't have been more perfectly timed for what I was writing.

My other friend said that his current favorites were both by Cody Jinx . . . "Hippies and Cowboys" and "Somewhere in the Middle" . . . I laughed and said "so basically songs about the 3 of us?" From our original gang of eight, I have remained the closest to these two guys. Our friendship is just as strong now (maybe even stronger) than it was back then. For as long as I can remember, the three of us have held different positions on things . . . . whether it was politics or religion or the music we listened to. One of us would only listen to country music, one of us would only listen to alternative music, one of us was willing to listen to both . . . One of us was a hardcore Catholic, one of us was a semi-present Catholic and one of us was raised without any religion at all. And yet, it didn't stop us from being really close friends.

While reflecting on our connection, I've realized how much things have shifted over the years. Where we used to argue and debate our stance back in the day, we've moved to a place of accepting that we have differences and it doesn't stop us from appreciating each other and the friendship we share. If we DO talk about those topics, it is usually with a desire to understand where the other is coming from, rather than looking for an opportunity to pounce and tell the other one why they are wrong. 

I've also been fascinated to observe that we've changed positions quite a bit. The one who wouldn't listen to country music now loves it and the one who would only listen to country music now listens to a whole variety of music. The one who was raised without any religion ended up converting to Catholicism while another one has moved away from religion completely. There is a fluidness to it all. I can see that nothing is ever cast in concrete and we shift and change when we want to, not because we got beat down by the other's opinion. Granted, we aren't perfect so occasionally we slip back into old ways and give each other grief over a difference here or there but the majority of the time, we allow for those differences to be there.

The reason I am sharing all of this is because I can sense that this is something that will help us all navigate the years ahead. As long as we hang on to our differences to such a degree that we don't like other people or we blame them for what's happening in the world, we will perpetuate those types of experiences. As long as we ridicule and shame others for their beliefs, the more unhappiness and upheaval we will likely experience . . . and the more difficult it will be for everyone on the planet.

Conversely, if we can accept that others hold a different view or belief and focus instead on what we DO agree on or what we DO appreciate about each other, we can have relationships that are much more peaceful and freeing.

It's important to remember that accepting is not the same as agreeing. We don't have to all AGREE on every single issue in order to have a respectful relationship. If we can accept that we are going to have differences and focus instead on what we have in common, that will go a long way to shifting our collective experience. If we are able to accept that everyone is on their own journey, learning and growing in their own time and their own ways, the opportunities for peace and building bridges can present themselves even more rapidly.

I feel blessed that these two guys are still in my life. Regardless of where we are different, I know that any interaction we have is going to include a ton of laughter because we seem to bring out the best in each other when it comes to wit. I also know that no matter what, we will always show up for each other because we see each other with our hearts first. 

We have that choice every day. To use our hearts to help us see. To use compassion to help us connect. To hold space for others who are on a different path. At least for me, taking that approach makes life a whole lot sweeter.