Choosing How We Will Respond

It's probably no surprise that I hold the belief that we should treat all living things with kindness and respect. I guess it kind of goes hand in hand with being an animal communicator and an empath. Yet I am still delighted when I receive a sweet little piece of confirmation that my approach is appreciated.

Many years ago, I was sitting at the kitchen table, working on my laptop when I heard what sounded like yelling outside the house. Kino heard it at the same time as me and began to bark. With his barking drowning out the commotion, I couldn't distinguish exactly what the sounds were so I got up to look out the kitchen window.

Much to my disappointment I saw three kids bothering a crow that was on my front lawn. They were flapping their arms and lunging towards him aggressively, while yelling "Caw Caw." When they got close to him, he flew up over my house. I felt so bad for the crow. I don't ever like to see anyone (human or animal) be teased or frightened and I knew I needed to say something. 

I'm not going to lie - I DID have the thought that I'd like to run outside and yell at the kids for being unkind to the crow but I knew doing that was just going to create more negative energy and likely not change their behavior. I decided the best thing I could do in that moment was speak to the crow.

Walking out the front door, I got to the edge of the walkway where the driveway begins but couldn't see him anywhere. I had no idea if he was still around but I hoped that he would be able to hear me and I began speaking to him. I told him that I was very sorry he had been treated that way and I hoped he knew he was always welcome in my yard.

I questioned for a moment whether or not I was crazy to talk to a crow that may be long gone but then I heard a sound above my head. When I looked at the top of the garage there he was, walking to the edge of the roof line so I could see him. He looked at me for a moment, with what felt like a complete recognition of what I had just said. Telling him again that I was sorry about what happened, I reminded him that I appreciated his presence and hoped that he was ok. After a few more seconds of intense eye contact, he turned around and flew off the roof of the garage. 

Satisfied with the outcome, I went back inside the house and explained to Kino what had occurred. It made me realize how well the situation illustrated the very thing that many people have been grappling with lately - which is around the importance of focusing on what we CAN control when a situation causes us to feel frustration.

In that moment, what I DID have control over was speaking to the crow and showing him some kindness and respect.  Coming from my heart in that conversation, the energy I put out was more positive and loving, which is an energy I would prefer to be in and around.

The experience highlighted something that feels even more important today than when it first occurred - We all get to choose, in each moment, how we are going to react and respond to things.  

Are we going to respond loudly and aggressively to people who are being loud and aggressive? Or can we find another way to respond? Will we focus our energy on complaining about what we think other people should be doing differently - when it likely won't have any impact on the person? Or put our attention on something / someone who could benefit from some kindness.

I'm certainly not perfect in my responses but I do know that each time I can respond from a place of love instead of judgement, kindness instead of frustration, I feel much more peaceful inside. 

In recent years, I am even turning that kindness towards myself . . . for instance when I am in the car and another driver does something that startles me or nearly causes an accident. Rather than complain about the person's awful driving (which they aren't going to hear anyway), I now offer myself kindness, reassurance and some words of encouragement. It may sound a bit crazy but it has helped me immensely - as it can move me out of adrenaline rush and into a state of calm rather quickly.

We always have a choice - and we get to decide in each moment what we want to focus on and how we would like to respond. Just a little something to keep in mind . . . :-) 

Animals Can Teach Us About Kindness and Trust

I originally wrote portions of this blog in 2009 . . . The other day, I noticed that it was getting traction again so thought parts of it were worth a re-post. I feel even more strongly than ever that animals deserve so much respect for all they do to teach us while they are here.

Here is it - I hope you enjoy! 

If you read my blog regularly, you know how much I appreciate it when people are kind to one another and kind to animals. As a witness to so much of this kindness, I wanted to share a few of these stories in the hopes that you will be as touched as I have been.

My first story is about animals treating each other with kindness and how important it is to pay attention to what they are telling us. 

I went to one of my client's houses to give Reiki to her cat, Misha. (Yes, this is 2009 when I did all my work in person)  :-) Misha was older and had been dealing with some health issues, so she was getting periodic Reiki treatments to help her stay strong. When I arrived at their house, Misha was laying on the couch where she usually was for her Reiki treatments, and snuggled next to her on the couch was another of my client's cats, Sweet Pea. 

I said hello to them both and then prepared to start working on Misha, when all of the sudden Misha got up and walked to the other side of the couch and sat down. It seemed odd but I moved over to her new position and started to put my hands on her when again she got up and moved - this time back to where she had been sitting before. I was talking to their guardian while this was going on and wasn't paying close enough attention to what Misha was telling me. As I moved back over to where Misha was sitting, I tuned in and heard what she was telling me . . . she felt that Sweet Pea needed the treatment more than she did. 

After telling their guardian what I was picking up, I asked if it was OK with her if we added in some energy work with Sweet Pea on my visit that day. She told me she had wanted to talk to me about Sweet Pea anyway, as she hadn't seemed herself the last few days, so she was happy to have me offer her some energy and see what was going on with her. While I was working with Sweet Pea, Misha just sat there, contently watching us, pleased that I had listened to her and happy that her "sister" was getting the help she needed. 

I had the thought when I first got there . . . that there was a reason Sweet Pea was laying in the "Reiki spot" when I arrived, as it is something she had never done before when I came to work with Misha, but since my appointment was with Misha, I didn't pay enough attention to what I was sensing. Fortunately, Misha was determined to get me to "hear" what I needed to hear.

After about forty minutes of soaking up the energy, Sweet Pea got up from the couch and went into the other room. Immediately, Misha got up and laid down on the couch in front of me. She was telling me that now it was OK for me to give her Reiki. :-)

I was so touched by her kindness, the way she was looking out for her "sister" and making sure she got the help she needed. It was so selfless, so generous, so protective. I was in awe of her, even though I know I shouldn't have been surprised. Animals are so loving and so loyal. It's not something they have to learn, it's just who they are. 

Another beautiful example - also from 2009:  A few weeks ago, I came home to find a message on my machine that warmed my heart to the core. It was a message from an older gentleman I had met more than a year earlier telling me he wanted to give me a book he had read as a thank you for teaching him that he could talk to animals. He said there was a part in this book called “Wesley the Owl,” that made him think of me and what I had taught him. He really wanted me to have the book and I was touched on so many levels.

This man wasn’t a client or someone I had extensive interactions with. We just had one seemingly random conversation but that conversation had obviously impacted him greatly. It was so important to him that he make contact with me that he tracked me down through the vet office I used to work at and was able to get my contact information through them.

As I thought back, I could recall our conversation vividly. He was such a kind man. You could just feel the gentleness of his soul when you were standing next to him. I remember he had told me that there was a feral cat that had been living in his yard for some time. He had been putting out food and fresh water for her every day for ages and while she was obviously content to live there outside his house, she still wouldn’t let anyone come near her. He told me he had noticed in recent weeks that she was no longer eating and that she was losing a lot of weight. He was worried about her and he wanted to get her help but he didn’t know how he’d ever get her to the vet, given how afraid she was of humans.

I could see the sadness and the worry in his eyes. I could feel how much it hurt him to feel so helpless to come to her aid. I remember telling him that he could try talking to her, that he could explain why he was worried about her and ask if she would trust him to take her to a place where she could get some help to feel better. I remember he looked at me oddly, which didn’t surprise me because a lot of people look at me that way when I tell them they can talk to animals, but then he said, “Really?  I can talk to her and she’ll understand?”

I explained to him that while feral cats are slightly more difficult to communicate with, as they haven’t been exposed to as much vocabulary as an indoor cat, I believed that they can understand if we use more simple words. I also told him I believed animals can feel what is in our hearts, so if he focused on his desire to help her, she would feel that too.

Our paths never crossed again and hadn't thought about it over the next year. When I listened to his message, I could sense that his desire to give me the book was so genuine and sincere, I made a point to meet him at his house the next day to accept the book he was offering me. When I got there, I immediately felt the gentleness of his soul again and I was so glad he had found a way to get in contact with me. After a brief discussion about the book, he told me what happened after we had spoken that day.

He said he went home and talked to her, explaining what he wanted to do and why. Much to his delight, he discovered that she did hear him and understand him. And much to his surprise, she did allow him to pick her up and put her into the cat carrier so he could take her to the vet. He told me he never would have thought it was possible but clearly it was and he was so happy that he was able to bring her to see someone and not feel helpless to support her anymore.  He added that it was really important that he let me know he had learned something very important from me that day, that I had changed the way he thought about animals.

As we were standing in his front yard, I looked around and then said “Is she still here?” and he said, 

“No, that’s the sad part of the story, even though she trusted me to bring her to the vet, they weren’t able to make her well. I did everything they suggested but I could never get her to eat again.” 

He went on to tell me that several weeks later, as her condition grew worse and he knew she was in increased pain, he asked her if she'd like him to bring her back to the vet to help her get out of her body . . . and once again, she allowed him to put her in the carrier and take her to the vet one last time.

As my eyes welled up with tears, I told him how sorry I was. She had obviously meant a great deal to him and it made me so sad to think he lost her after all of that. But he had a different take on it entirely.  

He seemed genuinely touched that he had learned that animals could understand him when he spoke to them.  As I could feel his gratitude, another thought washed through me, and it was this . . . because he took a chance and talked to the cat, even though it didn’t result in a prolonged life, what it did do was give them both an opportunity to trust, which I believe was a gift to both of them. 

In her final weeks, she learned it was safe to trust someone and I know it meant a great deal to her, to feel the love and respect that he had for her. For him, this sweet older gentleman, I know it made him feel good to know he was able to help her, even if it was ultimately to help her make her transition. 

And for me, I was touched beyond words to know that a casual conversation I had with a stranger ended up giving both this cat and this loving man an opportunity to have the experience they had. It was a sweet reminder for me that I shouldn't be shy about sharing what I believe to be true about animals, even with strangers.