Focusing On What We CAN Control

I originally wrote part of this back in 2019. Since it still feels relevant, I am adding to it and sharing it again.

It's probably no surprise that I hold the belief that we should treat all living things with kindness and respect. I guess it kind of goes hand in hand with being an animal communicator and an empath. Yet I am still delighted when I receive a sweet little piece of confirmation that my approach is appreciated.

A few years ago, I was sitting at the kitchen table, working on the computer when I heard what sounded like yelling outside the house. My German shepherd, Kino, heard it at the same time as me and began to bark. With his barking drowning out the commotion, I couldn't distinguish what the sounds were exactly so I got up to look out the kitchen window.

Much to my disappointment I saw three kids bothering a crow that was on my front lawn.  They were flapping their arms and lunging towards him aggressively, while yelling "Caw Caw."  I ran out the front door. The kids ran away and the crow flew up over my house. I felt so bad for the crow. I don't ever like to see anyone (human or animal) be teased or frightened and I knew I had to say something . . . and in that moment, I knew it needed to be the crow.

I got to the edge of the walkway where the driveway begins but I couldn't see him anywhere. I had no idea if he was still around but I hoped that he would be able to hear me and began speaking to him. I told him that I was very sorry he had been treated that way and I hoped he knew he was always welcome in my yard.

I questioned for a moment whether I was crazy or not, trying to talk to a crow that may be long gone but then I heard a sound above my head. When I looked at the top of the garage there he was, walking to the edge of the roof line so I could see him. He stared at me with what appeared to be a complete recognition of what I had just said. 

Telling him again that I was sorry about what happened, I reminded him that I appreciated his presence and hoped that he was ok. After a few more seconds of eye contact, he turned around and flew off the roof of the garage. 

Satisfied with the outcome, I went back inside the house and explained to Kino what had occurred. It made me realize how well the situation illustrated the very thing that many people have been grappling with lately - which is around the importance of focusing on what we CAN control.  

I'm not going to lie - I DID have the thought that I'd like to run outside and yell at the kids for being unkind to the crow but I knew doing that would just create more negative energy and likely not change the kids behavior.  

What I DID have control over was speaking to the crow and showing him respect so that is what I decided to do. Coming from my heart in that conversation, the energy I put out was more positive and loving, which is an energy I would prefer to be in and around. 

We all get to choose, in each moment, how we are going to react and respond to things. Are we going to complain about what other people are doing or what we think they should be doing differently? Or are we going to look at what is within OUR control at that moment. I'm certainly not perfect in my responses all the time but I do know that each time I respond from a place of love instead of judgement, I feel a whole lot better. Each time I am able to focus on where my words might actually make a difference I feel more empowered.

Update: Two years ago, I lost my beloved Kino. The following day two crows showed up in my yard. Day after day, week after week, these two crows came every single day. They were there at sun up and stayed throughout the day so I began feeding them and putting out fresh water for them. 

One day, with a heavy heart I finally pushed myself to buy a watermelon. I absolutely love watermelon but it was something I hadn't been able to eat since Kino had passed because he also loved watermelon so much and the thought of dicing one up without him there under the cutting board was more than I felt my heart could handle.

That day I managed to cut up a watermelon. In honor of my sweet boy, I decided to bring some of it out back to share with the crows. They were thrilled that I shared some with them, so it was something I began doing weekly. I never got tired of seeing their excitement when I walked out with a dish of the juicy red fruit for them. Seeing their excitement over this "treat" helped me tap into joy again (and I was able to resume my addiction to watermelon.)  :-) 

I am sure it is no surprise that my love and respect for crows deepened even more in the months after Kino passed away. They were my anchor and I have no doubt that Kino sent them because he knew if any bird was already in my heart, it was the crows.

Each time I see a crow, no matter where I am, it reminds me to pause and make sure I am focusing on the things that I CAN control . . . my responses and reactions to things, my own life and my own path. They serve as a reminder to me to look at myself and what I can do - rather than looking at what others are doing (or not doing) and put any of my energy or attention there. 

Here are some questions for you to ponder if you'd like to: Where are you putting your attention? Where is your energy going? Are you focusing on things you can control? Or are you focusing on things outside of your control? Often times, observing that and making some shifts and adjustments on where we are putting our energy and attention can make a big positive difference in how we feel, how things unfold in our own lives. Would you be willing to give it a try?

Our Pets Can Show Us OUR Fears

While it is common knowledge that animals pick up on how we feel, what some people may not realize is that animals can even pick up on the un-communicated feelings that we have. They are also able to tell when our words don't match the way we truly feel (even if we don't realize it at the time).

It's why there are cases where a dog guardian is walking their dog and even though they are displaying confidence, their animal still picks up on the concern they feel about an approaching animal or person. When the dog reacts to that animal or person, the guardian's first reaction might be, "But I was talking in a happy voice and telling my dog not to be concerned, why did he react that way?" The truth is, it was because the dog was picking up on what their guardian was REALLY feeling.

It is something that Kino taught me. When he was losing his mind in fear over the sound of fireworks, no matter how many times I told him the sound couldn't hurt him and that he was safe, his fear level never diminished. He would even give me a look - a look that literally said "You are full of it mom, I don't believe a word you are saying." LOL  After years of going through this anguish with him, it finally clicked one day. *I* was afraid of the noise too. That was why he looked at me as if I was a liar. He could feel the disconnect between my words and what I was truly feeling - something that I wasn't even aware of at the time.

Over the years, I have had many experiences with my clients where their pet was picking up on feelings their guardian wasn't even aware they had, which had taught me that animals are far more adept at tapping into our deepest levels of energy, our deepest level of emotion than we probably realize . . . and it taught me that if we pay close attention, we will see how much our pets can help us. 

One client in particular owned a store and loved to bring her dog to work with her, but her dog would sometime bark and growl at the customers. Obviously, that wasn't good for business so she asked me if I could help. When I did a session with the dog, I felt the dog was tapping into a fear that the guardian held deep inside her, and that was why she reacted the way she did with certain customers. It didn't resonate with the client at the time, so I didn't push it. 

A few weeks later, the guardian called me and was very excited. She said she had just remembered something, from about twenty or more years ago . . . at that time, she was working in her mom's store, and they were robbed at gunpoint. She hadn't thought about it in decades and had forgotten it had even happened, but when the memory popped back into her mind, she realized that must have been what her dog was picking up on. 

I asked her if she held any fear that it could happen again and she wasn't sure. We decided to do an energy healing session with her and see if we could help her body let go of that old memory. During the session, she realized that she DID still hold a fear that it could happen again, in part because she still felt responsible for not being able to stop the robbers. We worked on letting go of the disappointment and shame she was holding onto so that she could feel empowered again. At the end of the session, she said she felt much lighter and more at peace with what had happened all those years ago.

Since then, her dog has happily been joining her at her store every day and no longer barks and growls at certain customers. She now believes that if her dog ever DOES bark or growl, it will be because there really is a person in the store she should be concerned about, not because of an old fear that she held deep inside her. She was grateful to her dog, for helping her see that there was something from the past that she needed to free herself of. 

It is worth considering . . . if your pet is behaving in a way that concerns you . . . they might be reacting to a feeling you have, that you aren't even being holding on a conscious level. And maybe it is one of the ways your pet has shown up in your life to assist you. Something to ponder anyway . . . 

"Every pet you have is a once-in-a-lifetime pet. It doesn't matter how many you've had. Each one changes you, heals you, owns a piece of you." Author Unknown

My Chat With Todd

Todd Medina is someone I have followed for years. He has a show called Soulspeaks 5D where he brings people on - in his words "to just chat." People from all over the world come on his show to share their experiences, their insights, etc. as a way of supporting others who are on a similar path. It's like a giant library of information that is shared from people's hearts and their souls - all for the purpose of assisting others who are growing and learning and trying to navigate this crazy world we are living in right now.

Initially, I was drawn to his shows because he is someone who isn't afraid to be honest, real and vulnerable - which was like music to my ears. Through his shows he gives people a platform to share their gifts and knowledge with others and he has this amazing ability to hold space for people - which allows them to step more fully into who they authentically are.

Last week, I had the absolute pleasure of getting to have one of those chats with Todd Medina on Soulspeaks 5D. In the first half of the show, we talk about my healing journey (which basically is a synopsis of my book Lucky For Me that came out earlier this year) and the second half of the show we talk about what I do and how I work with people and animals. We also discuss what I've learned from animals over the years and how our pets can play a pivotal role in our personal transformations if we are open to their guidance. 

If you are interested in listening to our chat, below I've shared the link to the show. 

If you are on a spiritual path and looking for some inspiration to "keep on keeping on" you might want to check out some of Todd's other chats, which can be found on youtube on his channel: Soulogyonestudios. 

For those of you who are interested in learning more about my book Lucky For Me - a Journey of Healing and Self-discovery, I have also included a link to the publisher's website, where you can read the book summary and/or make a purchase.

Finally, if you'd like to learn more about my work with animals and people, I welcome you to check out my website, Healing Animal Truths.  (link provided below)

My chat with Todd

My book - Lucky For Me

My website

Feedback on Lucky For Me

One of the things that has been really fun for me since I published my book is hearing people's reactions to it. Of course the first round of sales were all people who are friends of mine so it wasn't a surprise that I was hearing nice comments from people - LOL - yet it didn't lessen my enjoyment one bit. Some friends emailed every 75 pages or so to tell me what they were enjoying about it so far - other friends waited until they finished reading it to tell me what grabbed their attention - either way, it was incredibly fun to hear their reactions. 

The book did what I hoped it would do . . . give people things they could connect to. Comments as seemly small as "Oh wow, I thought I was the only one who was afraid of driving on steep hills in San Francisco" to larger ones like "Oh wow, this brings back so many memories of when my pet and I went through something similar." Many people said the book gave them things to think about or that they could see something in their own life from a different perspective. It has opened the door for some really nice conversations. Several of my friends are former clients - they were clients in the years the book was written about and after their pets transitioned, they became friends . . . so their comments often included things like "I knew about some of that but not all of what was going on at the time." Ultimately they felt inspired to know how much Lucky and I were able to overcome. It was also really touching to see how many people said they felt nudged to look more closely at something they had been glossing over in their own life. 

I love hearing about what people's favorite parts of the book were, as they were often the favorite parts of my life at the time, so I was glad I was able to capture those things in the book. Many people have commented on how proud they are of me for putting myself in there (and out there) - allowing myself to be THAT honest and vulnerable - to which I confess that it was probably the hardest part of writing the book . . . making peace with the level of openness I went with and the judgement that may come along as a result. 

Of course there is a whole lot that happened in our life that didn't get included in the final version - lots of stories that didn't make it into the final draft because let's be honest - who wants to read a 900 page book? I had a few friends tease me when it first got published, saying things like "I better be in there, you know I was a big part of Lucky's life!" :-)  So Steve, here's a big shout-out to you . . . even though stories about all the time we spent with you didn't make it into the book, your friendship will always mean the world to me. Not only were you always willing to throw the ball for Lucky, whether we were hanging out at my house or out at the pool but clearly, you didn't mind joining in the ball catching on occasion either, which still makes me giggle.  LOL

I hope that my book is as well received with the people who don't know me as well (or at all) . . . only time will tell but in the meantime, I got my first written review and I'm excited to share it here:

Maureen's book is so inspiring and very interesting to read. She showed so much strength and perseverance during her special journey with Lucky. There is so much of her heart and determination to help Lucky with her challenges. You truly see the power of unconditional love.  The connections Maureen made to guide her were almost unbelievable or magical since many came in strange ways and at just the right time.  

So many stories in the book that I could relate to or felt the same way at times. While reading her book it triggered many of my own memories. My favorite stories were her many fun times with Lucky. Although Lucky had some struggles she never gave up either and actually help to guide Maureen on her path. Lucky brought so much joy to so many people of all ages.  They were such gifts to each other and also to so many people, myself included.

Maureen's book taught me several things that could help me in my life as well. 

What You Focus On Expands

I am a firm believer in the statement "What you focus on expands." It is a concept I taught when I was a corporate trainer and it is a concept that still plays a big role in the work that I do with energy. What we focus on - we see more of. What we focus on - we attract more of. Since everything is energy (including our thoughts), we draw more of that energy frequency to us - thus manifesting things that match that frequency.

If all of our attention is being placed on "what others are doing that we don't agree with" - guess what we are going to see more of? And guess what kind of things we are likely to experience in greater quantity? We're basically putting out a radio signal that says "Yes, more of this!" It's all energy . . . and it works like a magnet.

I'm not saying that frustrating things will never happen if we keep our thoughts positive enough - what I am saying is that we have a choice to STAY in that frequency when things frustrate us or we can shift into a different frequency. It is totally up to us.

Here's a simple, hopefully non-emotionally-charged example of this: Last week was Kino's birthday.  I had searched the local pet store's website looking for the perfect gift and I found what I was looking for - a plush toy that had multiple squeakers - and it happened to be on sale! The item was available for in-store pick up only but I was unable to put the item in my cart. When I called the store, the gal I spoke with said that happens when they don't have the item in stock. I asked if she thought they'd get anymore in and she wasn't sure when they would, so it was back to the drawing board for me.

Disappointed, I spent another long stretch of time searching for the right squeaky plush toy and I finally found one. I was able to make the purchase on line and since it was also an "in-store-pick up" item, I arranged to go on Kino's actual birthday to pick up his present.

Several days later, when the employee handed me the toy, I shook my head in disbelief. The toy wasn't anything like I expected. It was tiny - definitely not made for a large breed dog - and the material felt scratchy instead of plush. On top of that, only one of the squeakers worked. I said "Oh crud, this isn't going to work for my dog." Fortunately for me, he said that if I wanted to I could go inside and return it and pick out something else.

Wandering up and down the aisles, I became aware of my frequency and how it was dipping because I was focusing on how bummed I was . . . the disappointment over the toy not meeting my expectations, my frustration that I couldn't find something cost effective that Kino would like, my agitation over my inability to breath with a mask on, etc. Stopping myself, I knew I could shift my energy if I wanted to so I came up with a few new things to think about . . . how glad I was that I was able to come into the store to pick something else out, how much I looked forward to the joy Kino would experience when he got his present, etc.

Even with that in mind, I wasn't finding anything that met Kino's needs. I had been up and down the aisle where all the plush toys were several times and I didn't see anything that would squeak enough to make it a great birthday. I wondered if I should get him some treats instead so I walked over to that aisle to see what options they had for a dog with extreme food allergies and there it was . . . the original toy I had wanted to purchase on-line. The super soft plush toy whose legs squeaked - yep - all four of the legs make noise! I couldn't believe my luck!

It was upside down on top of a bunch of chew bones. It had a snag in the material but I knew Kino wouldn't care. I was so excited! The toy didn't have a tag on it so I asked an employee if she could check the price for me. She was super friendly and when she returned, she informed me that the toy was $2.50. I couldn't believe it! That was an even better price than they had listed on line and it was less expensive than the tiny toy I was returning!

Just as I expected, Kino was over the moon when he opened his present, as demonstrated by the cacophony of squeaks that filled the house for the rest of the day and the way he pranced around the house with his toy. Here's a picture of Kino with his toy in one of the rare moments that he actually set it down that day.

I write this post today as a gentle reminder that we really DO get to choose what we focus on (which will draw in experiences that match that frequency).

When you notice yourself focusing on the negative - you can keep focusing on that if you want. You also have the option to shift your focus to something else if you choose.

So ask yourself . . . do you want to keeping focusing on how mad it makes you when people don't follow the rules you think they should follow? or share the same beliefs as you? That is absolutely your right if that's what you'd like to do.

You can also put your attention on the things you DO have control over if you'd like to do that. That gives out a different frequency and you'll draw in more of that.

Heck, you can even focus on things from your heart if you choose (i.e. seeing people and situations from a place of compassion and understanding, noticing things that make you happy or things you feel grateful for).

You can do whatever you want to do. The important thing to remember is that YOU get to choose what you focus on. What you draw into your reality will match that energy frequency.