Focusing On What We CAN Control

 I originally wrote part of this back in 2019. Since it still feels relevant, I am adding to it and sharing it again.

It's probably no surprise that I hold the belief that we should treat all living things with kindness and respect. I guess it kind of goes hand in hand with being an animal communicator and an empath. Yet I am still delighted when I receive a sweet little piece of confirmation that my approach is appreciated.

A few years ago, I was sitting at the kitchen table, working on the computer when I heard what sounded like yelling outside the house. My German shepherd, Kino, heard it at the same time as me and began to bark. With his barking drowning out the commotion, I couldn't distinguish what the sounds were exactly so I got up to look out the kitchen window.

Much to my disappointment I saw three kids bothering a crow that was on my front lawn.  They were flapping their arms and lunging towards him aggressively, while yelling "Caw Caw."  When they got close to him, he flew up over my house. I felt so bad for the crow. I don't ever like to see anyone (human or animal) be teased or frightened and I knew I needed to say something . . . to the crow.

Walking out the front door, I got to the edge of the walkway where the driveway begins but I couldn't see him anywhere. I had no idea if he was still around but I hoped that he would be able to hear me and began speaking to him. I told him that I was very sorry he had been treated that way and I hoped he knew he was always welcome in my yard.

I questioned for a moment whether I was crazy or not, trying to talk to a crow that may be long gone but then I heard a sound above my head. When I looked at the top of the garage there he was, walking to the edge of the roof line so I could see him. He stared at me with what appeared to be a complete recognition of what I had just said. 

Telling him again that I was sorry about what happened, I reminded him that I appreciated his presence and hoped that he was ok. After a few more seconds of eye contact, he turned around and flew off the roof of the garage. 

Satisfied with the outcome, I went back inside the house and explained to Kino what had occurred. It made me realize how well the situation illustrated the very thing that many people have been grappling with lately - which is around the importance of focusing on what we CAN control.  

I'm not going to lie - I DID have the thought that I'd like to run outside and yell at the kids for being unkind to the crow but I knew doing that was just going to create more negative energy and likely not change their behavior.  

What I DID have control over was speaking to the crow and showing him respect so that is what I decided to do. Coming from my heart in that conversation, the energy I put out was more positive and loving, which is an energy I would prefer to be in and around. 

We all get to choose, in each moment, how we are going to react and respond to things. Are we going to complain about what other people are doing or what we think they should be doing differently? or are we going to look at what is within OUR control at that moment. I'm certainly not perfect in my responses all the time but I do know that each time I respond from a place of love instead of judgement, I feel a whole lot better. Each time I am able to focus on where my words might actually make a difference I feel more empowered.

Update: Two years ago, I lost my beloved Kino. The following day, two crows showed up in my yard. Day after day, week after week, these two crows came every single day. They were there at sun up and stayed throughout the day so I began feeding them and putting out fresh water for them. 

One day, with a heavy heart I finally bought a watermelon. I love them but it was something I hadn't been able to eat since Kino had passed because he also loved watermelon so much and the thought of dicing one up without him there under the cutting board was more than I felt my heart could handle.

That day, I managed to cut up a watermelon. In honor of my sweet boy, I decided to bring some of the watermelon out back to share with the crows. They were thrilled that I shared the watermelon with them and I never got tired of seeing their excitement when I would walk out with a dish of the juicy red fruit for them. Seeing their excitement over this "treat" helped me tap into joy again (and I was able to resume my addiction to watermelon.)  :-) 

I am sure it is no surprise that my love and respect for crows deepened even more in the months after Kino passed away. They were my anchor and I have no doubt that Kino sent them because he knew if any bird was already in my heart, it was the crows.

Each time I see a crow, no matter where I am, it reminds me to pause and make sure I am focusing on the things that I CAN control . . . my responses and reactions to things, my own life and my own path. They serve as a reminder to look at myself and what I can do - rather than looking at what others are doing (or not doing) and put any of my energy or attention there. 

Here are some questions for you to ponder if you'd like to: Where are you putting your attention? Where is your energy going? Are you focusing on things you can control? Or are you focusing on things outside of your control? Often times, observing that and making some shifts and adjustments on where we are putting our energy and attention can make a big positive difference.