Choosing How We Will Respond

It's probably no surprise that I hold the belief that we should treat all living things with kindness and respect. I guess it kind of goes hand in hand with being an animal communicator and an empath. Yet I am still delighted when I receive a sweet little piece of confirmation that my approach is appreciated.

Many years ago, I was sitting at the kitchen table, working on my laptop when I heard what sounded like yelling outside the house. Kino heard it at the same time as me and began to bark. With his barking drowning out the commotion, I couldn't distinguish exactly what the sounds were so I got up to look out the kitchen window.

Much to my disappointment I saw three kids bothering a crow that was on my front lawn. They were flapping their arms and lunging towards him aggressively, while yelling "Caw Caw." When they got close to him, he flew up over my house. I felt so bad for the crow. I don't ever like to see anyone (human or animal) be teased or frightened and I knew I needed to say something. 

I'm not going to lie - I DID have the thought that I'd like to run outside and yell at the kids for being unkind to the crow but I knew doing that was just going to create more negative energy and likely not change their behavior. I decided the best thing I could do in that moment was speak to the crow.

Walking out the front door, I got to the edge of the walkway where the driveway begins but couldn't see him anywhere. I had no idea if he was still around but I hoped that he would be able to hear me and I began speaking to him. I told him that I was very sorry he had been treated that way and I hoped he knew he was always welcome in my yard.

I questioned for a moment whether or not I was crazy to talk to a crow that may be long gone but then I heard a sound above my head. When I looked at the top of the garage there he was, walking to the edge of the roof line so I could see him. He looked at me for a moment, with what felt like a complete recognition of what I had just said. Telling him again that I was sorry about what happened, I reminded him that I appreciated his presence and hoped that he was ok. After a few more seconds of intense eye contact, he turned around and flew off the roof of the garage. 

Satisfied with the outcome, I went back inside the house and explained to Kino what had occurred. It made me realize how well the situation illustrated the very thing that many people have been grappling with lately - which is around the importance of focusing on what we CAN control when a situation causes us to feel frustration.

In that moment, what I DID have control over was speaking to the crow and showing him some kindness and respect.  Coming from my heart in that conversation, the energy I put out was more positive and loving, which is an energy I would prefer to be in and around.

The experience highlighted something that feels even more important today than when it first occurred - We all get to choose, in each moment, how we are going to react and respond to things.  

Are we going to respond loudly and aggressively to people who are being loud and aggressive? Or can we find another way to respond? Will we focus our energy on complaining about what we think other people should be doing differently - when it likely won't have any impact on the person? Or put our attention on something / someone who could benefit from some kindness.

I'm certainly not perfect in my responses but I do know that each time I can respond from a place of love instead of judgement, kindness instead of frustration, I feel much more peaceful inside. 

In recent years, I am even turning that kindness towards myself . . . for instance when I am in the car and another driver does something that startles me or nearly causes an accident. Rather than complain about the person's awful driving (which they aren't going to hear anyway), I now offer myself kindness, reassurance and some words of encouragement. It may sound a bit crazy but it has helped me immensely - as it can move me out of adrenaline rush and into a state of calm rather quickly.

We always have a choice - and we get to decide in each moment what we want to focus on and how we would like to respond. Just a little something to keep in mind . . . :-) 

Our Acts Of Kindness CAN Make A Difference

 I am resharing this blog post from July of 2022 because I still have these same hopes. It is still my hope that this blog will somehow reach the man who made such a difference in my life, that it will help people see how impactful acts of kindness can be and that it will inspire others to keep helping others. No action is too small. I believe every bit of kindness can create ripples of positivity.

When I was in college, I was on the rowing team. Practice was at 5am, which was brutal enough but the closer it got to finals and the later into the evening I had to study, the harder it was to get my sleep deprived body up with that morning alarm. One particular morning, I woke up to see I had less than 5 minutes to get myself dressed and to the bus stop around the corner where our team bus picked up those of us in the surrounding dorms. I don't know if I forgot to set the alarm or if I set it and slept through it - all I knew is that I had to get MOVING. I managed to get sweats on, several layers of shirts and my socks when I heard the sound of the bus down the street. 

Grabbing my jacket and my tennis shoes, I went running out of my dorm room, flying down the steps outside hoping to make it in time. Luck wasn't on my side, as the bus pulled away from the curb before I could even make it across the grass in front of my dorm. The thing was I HAD to be at practice. Coach had been very clear - if we missed a practice that week, we would not be able to participate in the Regatta that weekend - so I needed to get to practice. Running behind the bus, I screamed and wildly waved my right arm, while my left hand clutched my tennis shoes and my jacket. There was half melted snow on the ground so my wool socks were quickly becoming very wet and very heavy but I refused to let that slow me down. I just kept running . . . yet when I heard Fr. Siconolfi shift the bus into a higher gear, I could feel my heart sink. There was no way I'd catch the bus now.

Just then a man pulled up in a small blue truck. He rolled down the passenger window (which he had to do by hand - this was in the 80's after all) and yelled "Do you need to catch that bus?" Gasping for air, all I could do was nod my head yes, so he opened the door from the inside and motioned for me to get in. Diving into the front seat of his truck, we were on the move before I had even pulled the door all the way closed. He quickly shared that his sons had played football and he knew how important it was to never miss a practice. 

I'm pretty sure he ignored all the posted speed limit signs as we flew down the road, making a hard left, then a hard right at the next corner. We were then on the two-lane straight part of the road. I remember this kind man had a very hot cup of coffee in a paper cup wedged between his legs so he could keep shift gears to keep pace with the bus and I also recall worrying several times that it was going to spill on him. 

Fortunately for me, he seemed as determined as I was to not have me miss practice so he did his best to stay lined up with the bus. Continuing to flail my arms wildly while yelling to get his attention, Father Siconolfi remained oblivious to the girl hanging out the window of the small blue truck. Fortunately one of my teammates, in their hazy sleep deprived state, finally noticed me and got him to pull over. Quickly thanking the man, I grabbed my tennis shoes and jacket and made a beeline for the bus. 

Over the years whenever I shared this story, hoping people would understand why I believed in the good side of humanity (and why I loved Spokane so much), most of the time they didn't get it. The part that most people latched onto was that "I got into a stranger's truck." They responded with things like "He could have been a serial killer" and "Maureen you are just way too trusting." (Geez, what if I was the serial killer? He would have been the one putting his life in danger by stopping to help me!!) LOL

I have continued to share the story though - in an attempt to illustrate my belief that there are wonderful people everywhere - people who are willing to lend a hand - showing up when we need them most and going the extra mile. At times we may have to pay more attention to notice these genuine acts of kindness but they are out there and they are in more places than we might see reported on mainstream media. 

I have thought of the kindness of this man so many times in the last thirty some odd years and I still feel so much gratitude for his help that day. What he did for ME has inspired me over the years to keep offering kindness and support to others. Sometimes when my faith in humanity wobbles a bit, all I have to do is pull up the memory of that morning and I am instantly reconnected with the remembrance of what he did for me that morning and the faith that it instilled in me. I believe that there are people like him all over the world - quietly making a difference without any expectation of accolades - merely doing these things because they feel inspired to take action. 

My only regret from that morning was that I never got his name so I was not able to thank him properly or as profusely as my heart wanted to. So this post has three purposes:

1) To encourage people to look for the good in humanity. If you take the time to look, you will see examples and it will likely result in you noticing even more of the ways people are being there for each other. (And let's face it, how can that not put a smile on your face and in your heart.)

2) To inspire people to stay open to the opportunities where they can support others and be the illustration of the goodness that exists in the world. You may never know how many ripples of kindness it will create yet I have seen evidence time and again where someone's act of kindness inspired someone else to do something kind. We have the power to make our humanity a force to be reckoned with and I believe that every effort we make can and will make a difference.

3) That someone who lived in Spokane back in the 80s might know a man who drove a small blue truck and would have been on his way to work at 5:00 in the morning, who has sons who played football. My hope is that by some miracle he will somehow end up seeing this. It would make me so very happy if he knew how grateful I was and still am for his help that morning and how much he has inspired me over the years. The funny thing is that I don't think we even did all that well in the Regatta that weekend but I got to be there and I got to row because thanks to him I didn't miss practice that morning. 

If you feel moved to share actions - either witnessed or done by you - that have restored your faith in humanity, please feel free to write about them in the comments. I'd love to see them and I bet others would too. 

ps: I keep thinking about the movie Powder (1995) and how a line in the movie gave me such huge goosebumps that I wrote it on a post-it note and placed it on the refrigerator so I would see it every day (and it was there for decades). If I recall correctly, Jeff Goldblum's character said something like "My hope is that one day our humanity will surpass our technology." That was and still is something I hope to experience as well . . . and I truly believe that we have the ability to create it.