Cleaning House with a German Shepherd . . .

Not too long ago, I saw a meme that said "Cleaning house with a German shepherd is like brushing your teeth while you are eating an Oreo cookie."  I think about that meme every time I attempt to clean house and it still makes me giggle. 

For whatever reason, Kino loves it when I clean house. I have no idea why it makes him so happy - I just know that if I clean house or work in the yard, it is truly the most animated my boy ever is. His favorite "cleaning tools" for inside are the hand-held vacuum and the swiffer duster.  

For most people, changing the sheets on the bed is a pretty quick activity . . . strip the bed, throw the sheets in the washer, then the dryer, then remake the bed. With a German shepherd like Kino, there can be a LOT more steps involved. From the moment I announce that I am going to change the sheets, the glee begins. He grabs a stuffed toy and shakes it wildly for a good 5 minutes while he runs up and down the hall over and over again. With an extra furry shepherd like Kino, that means more flying fur is generated and there is at least twice as much fur to clean up than there was before I started.

I begin the process of changing the sheets by using the hand-vac to vacuum all around the perimeter of the bed so that the blankets and comforter don't get covered in dog hair when I pull them off the bed. Since the big area rug under the bottom of the bed requires extra attention and special tools, this particular task can take quite a bit of time. Once all of that vacuuming is done and the blankets and top sheet are stripped off the bed, the hand-vac needs to be used again to get all the dog hair from inside the bed that I apparently bring back to bed with me each time I get up to use the restroom in the middle of the night. Then as I am pulling the fitted sheet off, I often look down to find that he has shed MORE fur all over the floor - which means more vacuuming will be necessary if I want to see any evidence of my effort to rid my room of excess fur.

The entire time I am in the bedroom, the melee continues. Sometimes he replaces the stuffed toy for a chew bone or a rope but there is always something in his mouth as he runs in and out of the room, up and down the hall, making his excited bark-howl noise that sometimes sounds like a wolf who is singing . . . all the while, shedding more fur that will need to be vacuumed up.  His glee-filled activity continues until I have successfully wrangled the bed sheets and put them in the washer.

Like the meme said, "Cleaning house with a German shepherd is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreo cookies"

Kino also likes it when I dust. This became a "thing" in the last couple of years, when he would bug me to get off the computer. Once I'd finally comply with his wishes and get down on the floor with him to play, he'd promptly leave the room and stand in the kitchen. I'd check his water bowl to make sure he had water, I'd check the clock to make sure it wasn't meal time, I'd offer to take him in the yard to go potty. The whole time he would just stand there and stare at me.

Dumbfounded by this odd behavior, I began saying, "Show me what you need" and he kept going to the secret door in the kitchen that is just deep enough to house the ironing board and the swiffer duster. The first time he did it, I just looked at him like he was nuts and got back on the computer but when he kept doing it, I knew it needed to be explored more. 

Now I know he wasn't asking me to iron because I don't think he even knows what an ironing board is. We haven't used it in years. (Let's be real, who irons their pajamas? And truth be told, I haven't worn much else the last couple of years). So one day I said "You want me to dust?" and that's when the excitement began. He ran into the family room to grab a stuffed toy, biting down on it repeatedly so the squeaker was activated over and over again, all the while making laps around the couch and coffee table, then back into the kitchen, then more laps around the couch and coffee table while doing some kind of happy dance. It's truly the most hilarious thing you've ever seen. Of course, this behavior also includes the shedding of more fur, the generation of more dust and extra slobber that will now need to be cleaned up as well. 

Did I mention that cleaning house with a German shepherd is like brushing your teeth while you're eating Oreos?  LOL 

Once I begin dusting, he settles in the family room with a chew bone and happily chews away while I dust that room. Each time I move to a new room, there's another round of running up and down the hall, almost like he's making sure I'm REALLY dusting in each room I enter and then celebrating the fact that we're still dusting. Some weeks, he wants me to dust three or more times - which seems a little excessive if you ask me. (Even my mom, who had some pretty stringent house-cleaning practices, only dusted once a week). The hilarious thing is that I do it - maybe in part because seeing me dust brings him so much joy - and it's really hard not to be happy yourself when you see and feel that much joy coming from someone else. 

Yet, with all that vacuuming and dusting, I swear it doesn't look like I do much of either of those things. When friends come over, I usually tell them as they walk in the door, "I swear, I just vacuumed yesterday." Fortunately, my friends don't seem to mind . . . I think they've come to realize that cleaning house with a German shepherd truly is like brushing your teeth while you're eating Oreo cookies.