I stumbled across a video today that took my breath away. Not only was it inspiring and amazing to see the healing that took place but it also clearly illustrates how our old unconscious beliefs can often be the driving force for what is showing up in our lives. It was really cool to see this in action, with such rapid results.
The man working with Kerwin Rae is Peter Crone. His comments about our subconscious mind and how powerful it is match my own beliefs so I got pretty excited about this.
In a nutshell . . . our beliefs have a really big impact on our lives . . . especially our subconscious beliefs . . . which can manifest themselves not only in our health but also in our careers, in our relationships, etc.
The problem is that most of us don't realize how powerful our subconscious beliefs really are (or we aren't aware of what our subconscious beliefs actually are). They steer how we speak, the word choices we make, the way we react to things and the stories we tell ourselves . . . and all of that creates the reality that we experience.
When we can take the time to pause and understand the subconscious beliefs that are "running the show" in our lives, we have the opportunity to unlock some powerful changes. I loved seeing it demonstrated in this short video and feel inspired to make sure others see it as well.
Given that I am a bit technically challenged, I cannot figure out how to share a video from Facebook here, so I am going to do my best to explain how to find it yourself.
1. Get on Facebook
2. Go to Kerwin Rae's page
3. Look for a video posted on December 13, 2019 called "Unbelievable healing caught on camera"
(the video is 8 min. and 56 seconds long). You can either scroll down his page or click on the videos link on the left side of his page
Fingers crossed that you can find the video - and that you feel inspired by the content as well!
Wednesday, December 18, 2019
Wednesday, November 20, 2019
Challenges in Communication
When babies are born, they don't understand the language but the more they hear the people around them speak, the more their vocabulary grows. They learn mama and dada to start with and as the weeks and months pass, they pick up more and more words. I believe that animals are the same way and that the more we speak to them, the more they understand.
Because of this, I have always spoken to my animals in full sentences, told them what was going on and have given them choices too. I continue to marvel at what they can understand. For instance, when I am planning to run an errand, I tell Kino where I am going and let him know he has a choice to go with me or stay home. When I pick up my wallet and keys, if he would prefer to stay home, he goes into his crate. If he wants to go with me, he stands next to the drawer where I keep his leash. On the rare occasion that the temperature is too high for him to go with me, all I have to do is explain that it will be too hot in the car and he will go to his crate.
I have always enjoyed the more "conversational" approach that I have with my animals and most days I feel pretty good about my ability to communicate. However, there are some days where our communication is not quite as clear and on those days, my boy has me wondering about my communication skills. LOL
It happened just last weekend. One of my best friends had been going through a stressful process of buying a house. She had finally found the perfect house but there were multiple bidders and the process had stretched out for days as counter bids came in and the home seller evaluated their options. She was anxious to get news and I was anxious for her.
On Saturday, I heard my phone ping and walked into the kitchen to see who had texted me. Much to my excitement, it was an update from Lori and after reading her text, I turned to Kino and said "Woo Hoo! Lori got the house!!" With that, he ran to the front door and stood expectantly, waiting for her to come in. I don't know if he thought I said "Lori's AT the house" or if he just heard "Lori" and "house" but it seemed the more I tried to clarify, the more insistent he was that she would walk through the door any minute.
I sent Lori a congratulations text and told her about Kino. A half hour later, Kino was still standing at the front door waiting for her, regardless of my attempts to explain the difference between a visit and a home purchase. I sent her pictures because I wasn't sure she'd believe that he was still waiting at the front door for her. Obviously, Lori is one of his favorite people and any time I tell him she is coming over, he excitedly runs circles around the family room as he waits for her arrival. But this was different because his reaction was based on a miscommunication that I couldn't seem to undo. Lori and I felt bad for him but we also couldn't stop giggling about it. I continued to sent her periodic pictures of him planted there, occasionally whining and sniffing the door.
I don't know how long it was before he finally gave up on her arrival but I was relieved when he finally stepped away from the front door. It might be time to come up with a nickname for Lori - either that or I need to educate him a little more about the home buying process.
Because of this, I have always spoken to my animals in full sentences, told them what was going on and have given them choices too. I continue to marvel at what they can understand. For instance, when I am planning to run an errand, I tell Kino where I am going and let him know he has a choice to go with me or stay home. When I pick up my wallet and keys, if he would prefer to stay home, he goes into his crate. If he wants to go with me, he stands next to the drawer where I keep his leash. On the rare occasion that the temperature is too high for him to go with me, all I have to do is explain that it will be too hot in the car and he will go to his crate.
I have always enjoyed the more "conversational" approach that I have with my animals and most days I feel pretty good about my ability to communicate. However, there are some days where our communication is not quite as clear and on those days, my boy has me wondering about my communication skills. LOL
It happened just last weekend. One of my best friends had been going through a stressful process of buying a house. She had finally found the perfect house but there were multiple bidders and the process had stretched out for days as counter bids came in and the home seller evaluated their options. She was anxious to get news and I was anxious for her.
On Saturday, I heard my phone ping and walked into the kitchen to see who had texted me. Much to my excitement, it was an update from Lori and after reading her text, I turned to Kino and said "Woo Hoo! Lori got the house!!" With that, he ran to the front door and stood expectantly, waiting for her to come in. I don't know if he thought I said "Lori's AT the house" or if he just heard "Lori" and "house" but it seemed the more I tried to clarify, the more insistent he was that she would walk through the door any minute. 
I sent Lori a congratulations text and told her about Kino. A half hour later, Kino was still standing at the front door waiting for her, regardless of my attempts to explain the difference between a visit and a home purchase. I sent her pictures because I wasn't sure she'd believe that he was still waiting at the front door for her. Obviously, Lori is one of his favorite people and any time I tell him she is coming over, he excitedly runs circles around the family room as he waits for her arrival. But this was different because his reaction was based on a miscommunication that I couldn't seem to undo. Lori and I felt bad for him but we also couldn't stop giggling about it. I continued to sent her periodic pictures of him planted there, occasionally whining and sniffing the door. I don't know how long it was before he finally gave up on her arrival but I was relieved when he finally stepped away from the front door. It might be time to come up with a nickname for Lori - either that or I need to educate him a little more about the home buying process.
Saturday, November 2, 2019
Match or Mis-match?
Back when I was a corporate trainer, I taught a lot of courses on personality and operating styles. One course in particular had participants look at their own operating styles to better understand themselves and then look at the operating style of someone they were wanting to partner with in the workplace. Based on style differences and similarities, they could come up with an approach that would allow them to work more easily together.
One of the elements of this particular tool I taught that seemed the most difficult for folks to navigate was the concept of "matching" vs. "mismatching." Some people are natural matchers. They are the person who listens to another person speak and looks for things they might have in common - ways they "match" . . . this is the person who might say "oh you grew up in Arkansas? I have relatives who live there" or "oh wow, one of my best friends also went to University of the Pacific"
Mismatchers, on the other hand, look for where they don't match. They might say, "I'd never want to live in Arkansas" or "I don't think you get a really good education from small schools like that" - they in affect are often looking for where they can "disagree" with what someone else has said. Mind you, these folks are great to have on a project team, because they can help identify possible pitfalls to solutions and implementation plans. They can however be difficult to find common ground and a sense of ease with.
I remember one draining workshop I taught where I had a mismatcher in class . . . if I said "here's a tool you can use in these types of situations" he would say, "I can think of a situation where that wouldn't work." It took a lot of energy on my part to keep shifting things back to the positive because each time he "mismatched" what I said, more of the participants began to get on board with him and feel less hopeful that the course material would help them improve particular work relationships. A mismatcher's energy can spread like wildfire, which is why it can be so problematic.
I decided to write about this because of the huge increase I have seen in mismatchers lately. It used to be they were a very small percentage of the population but that seems to have changed in recent years. Get on any social media and you will find yourself saturated in mismatchers . . . people looking for where others are wrong, where what is being said is contrary to their own beliefs, etc.
The thing is that I believe we have control over whether we match or mismatch. It is a choice we can make every time we go into an interaction with another person, whether it is in person or on line. We can choose to listen with an ear towards where we agree or we can choose to listen with an ear towards where we don't agree. It is up to us. And in those cases where we can't "match" what someone else is saying, we also have the choice to not say anything. (I'm in a group for Empaths that is supposed to be for support, to help each other navigate the world a little easier and I am shocked by how many mismatchers are in that group too. If someone says, "I am having "x" experience with how I absorb energy and I'm looking for tips for how to better manage these situations," it is shocking to me how many people reply with "I don't have that experience." My feeling is, if you don't have that experience, keep scrolling and let the folks who CAN relate offer some suggestions.
I obviously have a bias here or I wouldn't be writing about it. (smile) It is no secret that I would prefer to see people look for commonality and points of agreement and I would like to share why.
It is because it allows conversations to be constructive, which can be lead to people working together, lead to identification of a next step and to a next step after that, they can open the door to more conversations, solution generation, and problem resolution. The only outcome I see of mismatch conversations is anger, frustration and someone being shut down.
We are at a time now in our world where we are in dire need to solutions, resolutions, new ways of doing things . . . and mismatching is just not going to get us there. Would you be willing to look at yourself and observe if you are going into conversations as a "matcher" or a "mismatcher?" If you are "mismatching" do you know why? and Would you be willing to try going into conversations with the mindset of "matching?" You might be surprised at how dramatically it can shift the content and the outcome of the interactions you have with others.
One of the elements of this particular tool I taught that seemed the most difficult for folks to navigate was the concept of "matching" vs. "mismatching." Some people are natural matchers. They are the person who listens to another person speak and looks for things they might have in common - ways they "match" . . . this is the person who might say "oh you grew up in Arkansas? I have relatives who live there" or "oh wow, one of my best friends also went to University of the Pacific"
Mismatchers, on the other hand, look for where they don't match. They might say, "I'd never want to live in Arkansas" or "I don't think you get a really good education from small schools like that" - they in affect are often looking for where they can "disagree" with what someone else has said. Mind you, these folks are great to have on a project team, because they can help identify possible pitfalls to solutions and implementation plans. They can however be difficult to find common ground and a sense of ease with.
I remember one draining workshop I taught where I had a mismatcher in class . . . if I said "here's a tool you can use in these types of situations" he would say, "I can think of a situation where that wouldn't work." It took a lot of energy on my part to keep shifting things back to the positive because each time he "mismatched" what I said, more of the participants began to get on board with him and feel less hopeful that the course material would help them improve particular work relationships. A mismatcher's energy can spread like wildfire, which is why it can be so problematic.
I decided to write about this because of the huge increase I have seen in mismatchers lately. It used to be they were a very small percentage of the population but that seems to have changed in recent years. Get on any social media and you will find yourself saturated in mismatchers . . . people looking for where others are wrong, where what is being said is contrary to their own beliefs, etc.
The thing is that I believe we have control over whether we match or mismatch. It is a choice we can make every time we go into an interaction with another person, whether it is in person or on line. We can choose to listen with an ear towards where we agree or we can choose to listen with an ear towards where we don't agree. It is up to us. And in those cases where we can't "match" what someone else is saying, we also have the choice to not say anything. (I'm in a group for Empaths that is supposed to be for support, to help each other navigate the world a little easier and I am shocked by how many mismatchers are in that group too. If someone says, "I am having "x" experience with how I absorb energy and I'm looking for tips for how to better manage these situations," it is shocking to me how many people reply with "I don't have that experience." My feeling is, if you don't have that experience, keep scrolling and let the folks who CAN relate offer some suggestions.
I obviously have a bias here or I wouldn't be writing about it. (smile) It is no secret that I would prefer to see people look for commonality and points of agreement and I would like to share why.
It is because it allows conversations to be constructive, which can be lead to people working together, lead to identification of a next step and to a next step after that, they can open the door to more conversations, solution generation, and problem resolution. The only outcome I see of mismatch conversations is anger, frustration and someone being shut down.
We are at a time now in our world where we are in dire need to solutions, resolutions, new ways of doing things . . . and mismatching is just not going to get us there. Would you be willing to look at yourself and observe if you are going into conversations as a "matcher" or a "mismatcher?" If you are "mismatching" do you know why? and Would you be willing to try going into conversations with the mindset of "matching?" You might be surprised at how dramatically it can shift the content and the outcome of the interactions you have with others.
Tuesday, October 15, 2019
Ten Years Later
Today is the ten year anniversary of Lucky's passing. It's hard to believe it's been ten years, as it doesn't really feel like it has been that long. Over my coffee this morning, I thought about what I might do to celebrate her today. The only thing that seemed fitting was to go to the beach - to her favorite beach - not the one I go to now - but the one we went to week after week, year after year while she was alive.
I spent some time going through pictures this morning. I couldn't help but notice all the pictures I had of her at the beach. It truly was her most favorite place in the world. Given all the fears she had of noises (motorcycles, baseballs hitting bats, etc), the beach was always the one place we could go where we didn't hear anything that frightened her.
In honor of this day, I decided to share some pictures of Lucky at her most favorite place.
Here is Lucky the very first time I took her to the beach. (and the day I learned why you DON'T want to let your dog drink sea water)
Here is Lucky coming out of the water after doing a little body surfing. Over the years, she became quite the skilled body surfer.
Here Lucky and I are walking on the beach. (I giggled to myself when I realized I still have those shorts so I decided to put them on today)
Here were trying to get the perfect picture for our Christmas card. (thanks to one of my childhood friends who was out visiting us from New Jersey that week).
Today when I first arrived at our old beach, it felt so good to be there again. Standing at the top of the staircase I was flooded with so many images of our countless afternoons there. I noticed the energy felt calmer and more peaceful than the stretch of beach I go to now. It just felt like home. When I got to the bottom of the staircase and walked towards the surf, I was given the honor of seeing some dolphins frolicking in the water. As they came up out of the water and splashed down again, they looked like they were having their own little celebration. I couldn't help but smile.
Lucky Rose
July 12, 1995 - October 15, 2009
I spent some time going through pictures this morning. I couldn't help but notice all the pictures I had of her at the beach. It truly was her most favorite place in the world. Given all the fears she had of noises (motorcycles, baseballs hitting bats, etc), the beach was always the one place we could go where we didn't hear anything that frightened her.
In honor of this day, I decided to share some pictures of Lucky at her most favorite place.
Here is Lucky the very first time I took her to the beach. (and the day I learned why you DON'T want to let your dog drink sea water)
Here is Lucky coming out of the water after doing a little body surfing. Over the years, she became quite the skilled body surfer.
Here Lucky and I are walking on the beach. (I giggled to myself when I realized I still have those shorts so I decided to put them on today)
Here were trying to get the perfect picture for our Christmas card. (thanks to one of my childhood friends who was out visiting us from New Jersey that week).
Today when I first arrived at our old beach, it felt so good to be there again. Standing at the top of the staircase I was flooded with so many images of our countless afternoons there. I noticed the energy felt calmer and more peaceful than the stretch of beach I go to now. It just felt like home. When I got to the bottom of the staircase and walked towards the surf, I was given the honor of seeing some dolphins frolicking in the water. As they came up out of the water and splashed down again, they looked like they were having their own little celebration. I couldn't help but smile.
Lucky Rose
July 12, 1995 - October 15, 2009
Thursday, September 26, 2019
The Joy of Squeakers
In all the years Kino has been with me, the one thing that has remained constant is the complete and utter joy he gets from the sound of a toy making a squeak. To be honest, it brings me joy too - to see him so happy makes my heart feel happy too. I can't help but laugh when I see him marching around the family room with a squeak toy in his mouth, as each step produces another sound from the chomp of his jaw.
Of course, after a while, most of the toys stop making noise . . . and Kino's level of joy diminishes a bit. One night I found him searching through his toy basket, biting each toy until he found one that would make the desired sound and leaving a big pile of "quiet" toys outside of the basket . . . and I got an idea . . . maybe it was time for his toys to have "squeaker replacement surgery!"
I got on line and researched the little noise makers, reading reviews and trying to determine which ones might be the most durable. When the package arrived, I determined who would get the first transplant surgeries and got to work.
I am not much of a seamstress but I gave it my best effort. Since the weather was nice, I parked myself in a lawn chair outside with all the necessary "instruments" and a few hours later, all the "surgeries" were complete.
Kino was over the moon! He spent the next several hours biting each one, back and forth, back and forth until all the toys were sopping wet from slobber. Later that night, I got him to chase the ball for a bit but shortly after we started, he stopped mid-run . . . stood there for a minute . . . then ran back over to the pile of stuffed toys. It was like his brain said to him "But wait, we have new squeakers in the stuffed toys!"
Seeing how happy the rejuvenated toys made Kino, the next week, I decided to get even more adventurous and re-stuff the toys that he had inherited from Lucky. Since she unstuffed most of her stuffed toys, there were a lot of floppy toy carcasses in the bottom of the toy basket that I just hadn't had the heart to part with in the nearly ten years she has been gone. My trip to the craft store for just the right stuffing was followed by several more hours of "surgery" - and since I was putting in such a big effort, I decided to put more than one squeaker into each of the re-stuffed toys so that if one of the squeakers gave out, at least the toy would still make noise.
Kino almost seemed overwhelmed when I presented all the toys to him after they came out of "post-op." It was as if he was thinking "How could one dog be so lucky?" and for a while, he just laid there and stared at all the "refreshed" toys. I wondered if maybe he was hesitant because they were Lucky's toys but eventually, I heard the sound I had been waiting for - a cacophony of squeaking coming from the family room.
For the time being, Kino has a whole lot of squeaking toys to bring him joy! And as always, his joy brings me joy! I would say our project was successful!!
Of course, after a while, most of the toys stop making noise . . . and Kino's level of joy diminishes a bit. One night I found him searching through his toy basket, biting each toy until he found one that would make the desired sound and leaving a big pile of "quiet" toys outside of the basket . . . and I got an idea . . . maybe it was time for his toys to have "squeaker replacement surgery!"
I got on line and researched the little noise makers, reading reviews and trying to determine which ones might be the most durable. When the package arrived, I determined who would get the first transplant surgeries and got to work.
I am not much of a seamstress but I gave it my best effort. Since the weather was nice, I parked myself in a lawn chair outside with all the necessary "instruments" and a few hours later, all the "surgeries" were complete.Kino was over the moon! He spent the next several hours biting each one, back and forth, back and forth until all the toys were sopping wet from slobber. Later that night, I got him to chase the ball for a bit but shortly after we started, he stopped mid-run . . . stood there for a minute . . . then ran back over to the pile of stuffed toys. It was like his brain said to him "But wait, we have new squeakers in the stuffed toys!"
Seeing how happy the rejuvenated toys made Kino, the next week, I decided to get even more adventurous and re-stuff the toys that he had inherited from Lucky. Since she unstuffed most of her stuffed toys, there were a lot of floppy toy carcasses in the bottom of the toy basket that I just hadn't had the heart to part with in the nearly ten years she has been gone. My trip to the craft store for just the right stuffing was followed by several more hours of "surgery" - and since I was putting in such a big effort, I decided to put more than one squeaker into each of the re-stuffed toys so that if one of the squeakers gave out, at least the toy would still make noise. Kino almost seemed overwhelmed when I presented all the toys to him after they came out of "post-op." It was as if he was thinking "How could one dog be so lucky?" and for a while, he just laid there and stared at all the "refreshed" toys. I wondered if maybe he was hesitant because they were Lucky's toys but eventually, I heard the sound I had been waiting for - a cacophony of squeaking coming from the family room.
For the time being, Kino has a whole lot of squeaking toys to bring him joy! And as always, his joy brings me joy! I would say our project was successful!!
Monday, September 2, 2019
Stuffed Toys
When Kino first came into my life, I was shocked to discover that his approach to stuffed toys went beyond any other dog I ever had. Sure, I was use to the toys being ripped apart and I was used to piles of "guts" (stuffing) everywhere as well as annihilated squeakers but unlike any other dog I know, Kino had an additional step to his process . . he was determined to swallow everything he pulled out of a stuffed toy.
This was a concern to me, not just because it was pretty gross when it come out the next day, but I worried about what would happen if all that "stuff" got stuck in his stomach and/or intestines. I talked to him about it and explained that he needed to leave the "guts" on the ground so that I could throw them away. I supervised him with the stuffed toy . . . applauded him each time he spit out the stuffing but the second I came near him to pick the stuffing up, he gobbled it up and swallowed quickly.
So I informed him that he wouldn't be allowed to play with stuffed toys anymore. (It's the approach I have had the most success with Kino . . . using consequences and rewards). Every so often, I would give him another chance . . . reminding him that he couldn't swallow what he pulled out . . . and each time, he seemed even more determined to swallow the contents as quickly as possible. The box of stuffed toys would get put away for another stretch of time. This went on for years and I wondered if he would ever learn how to play with a stuffed toy without swallowing the contents.
The message finally got through to him on his 5th birthday. One of my friends bought him a big green stuffed turtle. With trepidation I gave it to him . . . not only did he show me that he no longer wanted to swallow the contents of a toy, he didn't even want to rip the toy! He was happy to bite on it, slobber on it and "talk" to it. I took it as a sign it was safe to pull out the box of stuffed toys that had been hidden away and he was equally good with all the "old" toys. He had "matured" so much he didn't try to rip any of them open. He seemed content to just make them squeak and use them as pillows and occasionally use them to entice me away from the computer. A whole new world of fun opened up for Kino!
Over time, they do get rips and tears in them though. Since I don't want him to be tempted into his old ways by stuffing coming out of the holes, I stitch them back up. Somehow I began using simple hospital terms to explain things to Kino. When I noticed a stuffed toy with a rip in it, I'd say, "uh oh, he's going to need surgery" and I would place the toy on the top of the refrigerator. I began referring to the top of the refrigerator as "pre-op" and once I had 4-5 toys that were ready for "surgery" I'd pull out the sewing kit and fix them all up. It's to the point now where if I say, "uh oh, he's going to need surgery," Kino immediately looks at the top of the refrigerator. :-)
The first time I sat down with the pile of toys in need of repair, Kino was a little pushy. The moment I finished the first one, he came over and tried to pull it off the table. Not wanting him to be so impatient, I told him that the toys had to stay in "post-op" until they recovered from their surgery. It makes me giggle every time I say it, but Kino respects that and now leaves the toys alone, until I tell him that they've recovered from their surgery.
It took a lot of time and a lot of patience to help him learn that it's not good for him to swallow the contents of a stuffed toy but it was well worth the effort. I get to feel the peace and calm inside knowing we aren't going to be rushing into the emergency vet for a different kind of surgery for Kino. To see the tremendous joy he gets out of playing in a new way with his toys is an added bonus.
This was a concern to me, not just because it was pretty gross when it come out the next day, but I worried about what would happen if all that "stuff" got stuck in his stomach and/or intestines. I talked to him about it and explained that he needed to leave the "guts" on the ground so that I could throw them away. I supervised him with the stuffed toy . . . applauded him each time he spit out the stuffing but the second I came near him to pick the stuffing up, he gobbled it up and swallowed quickly.
So I informed him that he wouldn't be allowed to play with stuffed toys anymore. (It's the approach I have had the most success with Kino . . . using consequences and rewards). Every so often, I would give him another chance . . . reminding him that he couldn't swallow what he pulled out . . . and each time, he seemed even more determined to swallow the contents as quickly as possible. The box of stuffed toys would get put away for another stretch of time. This went on for years and I wondered if he would ever learn how to play with a stuffed toy without swallowing the contents.
The message finally got through to him on his 5th birthday. One of my friends bought him a big green stuffed turtle. With trepidation I gave it to him . . . not only did he show me that he no longer wanted to swallow the contents of a toy, he didn't even want to rip the toy! He was happy to bite on it, slobber on it and "talk" to it. I took it as a sign it was safe to pull out the box of stuffed toys that had been hidden away and he was equally good with all the "old" toys. He had "matured" so much he didn't try to rip any of them open. He seemed content to just make them squeak and use them as pillows and occasionally use them to entice me away from the computer. A whole new world of fun opened up for Kino!
Over time, they do get rips and tears in them though. Since I don't want him to be tempted into his old ways by stuffing coming out of the holes, I stitch them back up. Somehow I began using simple hospital terms to explain things to Kino. When I noticed a stuffed toy with a rip in it, I'd say, "uh oh, he's going to need surgery" and I would place the toy on the top of the refrigerator. I began referring to the top of the refrigerator as "pre-op" and once I had 4-5 toys that were ready for "surgery" I'd pull out the sewing kit and fix them all up. It's to the point now where if I say, "uh oh, he's going to need surgery," Kino immediately looks at the top of the refrigerator. :-)
The first time I sat down with the pile of toys in need of repair, Kino was a little pushy. The moment I finished the first one, he came over and tried to pull it off the table. Not wanting him to be so impatient, I told him that the toys had to stay in "post-op" until they recovered from their surgery. It makes me giggle every time I say it, but Kino respects that and now leaves the toys alone, until I tell him that they've recovered from their surgery. It took a lot of time and a lot of patience to help him learn that it's not good for him to swallow the contents of a stuffed toy but it was well worth the effort. I get to feel the peace and calm inside knowing we aren't going to be rushing into the emergency vet for a different kind of surgery for Kino. To see the tremendous joy he gets out of playing in a new way with his toys is an added bonus.
Monday, August 19, 2019
The Ripples of Positive Energy
A year and a half ago, I was taking a class and one of the modules was on creativity. The concept shared was that when we are feeling stuck or stagnant, one of the best things we can do is put our energy into something creative because that will help shift our energy.
Given that I had gone through a major purge of excess belongings in recent years, I didn't want to create more "stuff" that would clutter the house so I asked the other participants for suggestions on "creative" things I could do that wouldn't generate more "stuff" in my house. One of the suggestions that I felt most excited about was painting rocks and leaving them around my neighborhood. I went down to the beach and collected some rocks, picked up some paints at a local art store and got started. I painted the words: Peace, Love, Hope and Joy on the rocks and with the rocks that were too small for those words, I either painted smiley faces or flowers on them. My focus was on doing something creative that would shift MY energy. I had no idea how wide the ripples would go from there.
I went out in the daytime when most of my neighbors were at work so that no one would know who was placing the rocks and I put about thirty or more on the streets closest to mine. The odd thing was that prior to this, Kino had started refusing to go on walks. Well, we would leash up and leave the house but after less than 5 minutes, he was dragging me back home with such force, you couldn't really call it a "walk." Interestingly, after I put the rocks out, I noticed that he would walk a little further . . . onto the streets where I had placed rocks. Inspired by this, I went to the beach to get more rocks. After painting them, I placed them on streets even further out from our house . . . and sure enough, Kino was suddenly willing to walk on those streets too.
I was very excited that "doing something creative" was having a such a positive impact on Kino.
And then people started posting on our neighborhood email group about the rocks . . . Fellow dog parents were commenting on how much they enjoyed seeing the rocks when they were out walking their dogs and parents were commenting on how the rocks were the highlight for their toddlers when they were out for walks. People posted about their excitement when they came home from work and found a rock in front of their house. I never expected that kind of reaction and I was tickled to know that my attempt to shift MY energy was impacting so many others in a positive way.
Since I live in a vacation town, by the end of last summer most of the rocks had disappeared, as vacationers took them as souvenirs or because they knew something I didn't know . . . that many people take painted rocks and bring them to a new location and then post the pictures on line. Soon there were posts on our neighborhood email group about the missing rocks and how sad people were that they were gone . . . that they missed the cheer they brought our neighborhood. Not wanting my neighbors to be disappointed, down to the beach I went to collect more rocks, back to the art store for more paint . . . and my mission continued.
So far I have only been "caught" by one neighbor. She calls me the "Rock Fairy" now. :-) She was inspired to bring the idea to her school where she is a teacher. They had a rock painting project that was so successful, the principal decided next time they should extend it to all the classes in the elementary school. Again, I was surprised by how wide the ripple effect has gone on this small class project of mine.
It has been a beautiful reminder to me that no matter how small the effort, there is no cap on how great the impact can be. Even simple gestures like smiling at a stranger or letting a car merge onto a busy road from a side street can have the same ripple effects. We may never know how far the ripples will go but for me, I find joy in making the first effort. Since vacation season is winding down here, I've painted a new set of rocks and now that Kino isn't afraid to walk in our neighborhood, he'll be able to help me spread the love (and the joy and the peace and the hope). ;-)
Given that I had gone through a major purge of excess belongings in recent years, I didn't want to create more "stuff" that would clutter the house so I asked the other participants for suggestions on "creative" things I could do that wouldn't generate more "stuff" in my house. One of the suggestions that I felt most excited about was painting rocks and leaving them around my neighborhood. I went down to the beach and collected some rocks, picked up some paints at a local art store and got started. I painted the words: Peace, Love, Hope and Joy on the rocks and with the rocks that were too small for those words, I either painted smiley faces or flowers on them. My focus was on doing something creative that would shift MY energy. I had no idea how wide the ripples would go from there. I went out in the daytime when most of my neighbors were at work so that no one would know who was placing the rocks and I put about thirty or more on the streets closest to mine. The odd thing was that prior to this, Kino had started refusing to go on walks. Well, we would leash up and leave the house but after less than 5 minutes, he was dragging me back home with such force, you couldn't really call it a "walk." Interestingly, after I put the rocks out, I noticed that he would walk a little further . . . onto the streets where I had placed rocks. Inspired by this, I went to the beach to get more rocks. After painting them, I placed them on streets even further out from our house . . . and sure enough, Kino was suddenly willing to walk on those streets too.
I was very excited that "doing something creative" was having a such a positive impact on Kino.And then people started posting on our neighborhood email group about the rocks . . . Fellow dog parents were commenting on how much they enjoyed seeing the rocks when they were out walking their dogs and parents were commenting on how the rocks were the highlight for their toddlers when they were out for walks. People posted about their excitement when they came home from work and found a rock in front of their house. I never expected that kind of reaction and I was tickled to know that my attempt to shift MY energy was impacting so many others in a positive way.
Since I live in a vacation town, by the end of last summer most of the rocks had disappeared, as vacationers took them as souvenirs or because they knew something I didn't know . . . that many people take painted rocks and bring them to a new location and then post the pictures on line. Soon there were posts on our neighborhood email group about the missing rocks and how sad people were that they were gone . . . that they missed the cheer they brought our neighborhood. Not wanting my neighbors to be disappointed, down to the beach I went to collect more rocks, back to the art store for more paint . . . and my mission continued.
So far I have only been "caught" by one neighbor. She calls me the "Rock Fairy" now. :-) She was inspired to bring the idea to her school where she is a teacher. They had a rock painting project that was so successful, the principal decided next time they should extend it to all the classes in the elementary school. Again, I was surprised by how wide the ripple effect has gone on this small class project of mine.
It has been a beautiful reminder to me that no matter how small the effort, there is no cap on how great the impact can be. Even simple gestures like smiling at a stranger or letting a car merge onto a busy road from a side street can have the same ripple effects. We may never know how far the ripples will go but for me, I find joy in making the first effort. Since vacation season is winding down here, I've painted a new set of rocks and now that Kino isn't afraid to walk in our neighborhood, he'll be able to help me spread the love (and the joy and the peace and the hope). ;-)
Wednesday, August 7, 2019
Saving Bees
For as much as I love walking the beach and for as much peace and joy that it brings me, there are times when I feel sad . . . when I come across bees that have perished along the shoreline. I don't know why there are so many bees down there and why they can't see the water coming in and fly to safety before the wave breaks on the shore. I've puzzled over it countless times but never came up with any answers.
Earlier this spring, I happened upon a bee that had been knocked over by a wave but was still alive. He was on his back . . . floundering . . . unable to turn himself over and too wet to fly away. I wanted to help him but I didn't know how. I feared that if I tried to pick him up with my hands, I would get stung and I didn't want to get stung. I always carry my flip-flops when I walk the beach so using the toe of my flip-flop, I tried to scoop him up onto my shoe. It didn't work and I ended up flinging even more sand on him and stressing him out even more. I felt awful but I wasn't deterred. I just HAD to find a way to help this bee.
Something inspired me to see if he could grab onto my flip-flop himself. Holding it upside down so the straps were right over his body, I asked him if he could grab ahold of the strap. Much to my surprise and delight he did! I flipped my shoe over so he was right side up and I explained to him that I wanted to help him get to dry land. I told him he could just relax, catch his breath and let his wings dry and I assured him that I would find a plant for him to rest on.
The beach that I walk on is lined with beach houses up a ways from the shore. Many of the houses have flowers and bushes so I decided to walk up to the houses and find a flower to put him on. As I held my shoe next to the plant, I told him it was safe for him to let go of my shoe and step onto the flower. He seemed a little hesitant at first but after a minute or so, he stepped safely onto the flower. I wished him well and walked back to the shore. Much to my surprise, within a minute or so, I encountered another bee, floundering on his back. I decided the process was worth repeating and fortunately for me, this bee was on board with it . . . grabbing onto the strap of my flip-flop and allowing me to walk him up to a flower.
My hour long beach walk turned into a 2+ hour beach walk that day because I found so many bees that needed help. I had never walked up to the houses that many times as I usually just walk along the water and while my feet hurt from walking on such hot sand, I didn't give it much thought, as I was so happy that I was able to help the bees!!
Not long after that, I saw a painting of a little girl holding a bee and it touched me so much it brought tears to my eyes.
The artists name is: Autumn Skye. If you feel inspired to check out any of her other artwork, she has some amazing pieces. Her website is: https://www.autumnskyeart.com
Since that first day, helping bees along the shore has become a regular thing. I still feel sad when I encounter a bee that has already died (I tell them that I am sorry I wasn't able to get there in time) but it makes my heart feel good to know there are bees that I HAVE been able to help.
The other interesting thing is that since I started saving bees on the beach, I have been having encounters with bees in my backyard. I have always enjoyed seeing them buzz around the flowers in the yard but they have never come near me . . . that is until the last few months when bees will come right up to me, a few inches from my face, sometimes they'll do a little zig-zag maneuver in front of me and then fly off. It feels like an acknowledgment that I am a "friend" and it makes me smile.
Earlier this spring, I happened upon a bee that had been knocked over by a wave but was still alive. He was on his back . . . floundering . . . unable to turn himself over and too wet to fly away. I wanted to help him but I didn't know how. I feared that if I tried to pick him up with my hands, I would get stung and I didn't want to get stung. I always carry my flip-flops when I walk the beach so using the toe of my flip-flop, I tried to scoop him up onto my shoe. It didn't work and I ended up flinging even more sand on him and stressing him out even more. I felt awful but I wasn't deterred. I just HAD to find a way to help this bee.
Something inspired me to see if he could grab onto my flip-flop himself. Holding it upside down so the straps were right over his body, I asked him if he could grab ahold of the strap. Much to my surprise and delight he did! I flipped my shoe over so he was right side up and I explained to him that I wanted to help him get to dry land. I told him he could just relax, catch his breath and let his wings dry and I assured him that I would find a plant for him to rest on.
The beach that I walk on is lined with beach houses up a ways from the shore. Many of the houses have flowers and bushes so I decided to walk up to the houses and find a flower to put him on. As I held my shoe next to the plant, I told him it was safe for him to let go of my shoe and step onto the flower. He seemed a little hesitant at first but after a minute or so, he stepped safely onto the flower. I wished him well and walked back to the shore. Much to my surprise, within a minute or so, I encountered another bee, floundering on his back. I decided the process was worth repeating and fortunately for me, this bee was on board with it . . . grabbing onto the strap of my flip-flop and allowing me to walk him up to a flower.
My hour long beach walk turned into a 2+ hour beach walk that day because I found so many bees that needed help. I had never walked up to the houses that many times as I usually just walk along the water and while my feet hurt from walking on such hot sand, I didn't give it much thought, as I was so happy that I was able to help the bees!!Not long after that, I saw a painting of a little girl holding a bee and it touched me so much it brought tears to my eyes.
The artists name is: Autumn Skye. If you feel inspired to check out any of her other artwork, she has some amazing pieces. Her website is: https://www.autumnskyeart.com
Since that first day, helping bees along the shore has become a regular thing. I still feel sad when I encounter a bee that has already died (I tell them that I am sorry I wasn't able to get there in time) but it makes my heart feel good to know there are bees that I HAVE been able to help.
The other interesting thing is that since I started saving bees on the beach, I have been having encounters with bees in my backyard. I have always enjoyed seeing them buzz around the flowers in the yard but they have never come near me . . . that is until the last few months when bees will come right up to me, a few inches from my face, sometimes they'll do a little zig-zag maneuver in front of me and then fly off. It feels like an acknowledgment that I am a "friend" and it makes me smile.
Sunday, June 16, 2019
Respect For All Living Things
It's probably no surprise that I hold the belief that we should treat all living things with kindness and respect. I guess it kind of goes hand in hand with being an animal communicator and an empath. Yet I am still delighted when I receive a sweet little piece of confirmation that my approach is appreciated.
The other day, I was sitting at the kitchen table, working on the computer when I heard what sounded like yelling outside the house. Kino heard it at the same time as me and began to bark. With his barking drowning out the commotion, I couldn't distinguish what the sounds were exactly so I got up to look out the kitchen window.
Much to my disappointment I saw three kids bothering a crow that was on my front lawn. They were flapping their arms and lunging towards him aggressively, while yelling "Caw Caw." When they got close to him, he flew up over my house. I felt so bad for the crow. I don't ever like to see anyone (human or animal) be teased or frightened and I knew I needed to say something . . . to the crow.
Walking out the front door, I got to the edge of the walkway where the driveway begins but couldn't see him anywhere. I had no idea if he was still around but I hoped that he would be able to hear me and began speaking to him. I told him that I was very sorry he had been treated that way and I hoped he knew he was always welcome in my yard.
I questioned for a moment whether I was crazy or not, trying to talk to a crow that may be long gone but then I heard a sound above my head. When I looked at the top of the garage there he was, walking to the edge of the roof line so I could see him. He looked at me for a moment, with what felt like a complete recognition of what I had just said. Telling him again that I was sorry about what happened, I reminded him that I appreciated his presence and hoped that he was ok. After a few more seconds of eye contact, he turned around and flew off the roof of the garage.
Satisfied with the outcome, I went back inside the house and explained to Kino what had occurred. It made me realize how well the situation illustrated the very thing that many people have been grappling with lately - which is around the importance of focusing on what we CAN control. I'm not going to lie - I DID have the thought that I'd like to run outside and yell at the kids for being unkind to the crow but I knew doing that was just going to create more negative energy and likely not change their behavior. What I DID have control over was speaking to the crow and showing him some respect. Coming from my heart in that conversation, the energy I put out was more positive and loving, which is an energy I would prefer to be in and around.
We all get to choose, in each moment, how we are going to react and respond to things. Are we going to complain about what other people should be doing differently? or are we going to look at what is within OUR control at that moment. I'm certainly not perfect in my responses but I do know that each time I can respond from a place of love instead of judgement, I feel a whole lot better.
The other day, I was sitting at the kitchen table, working on the computer when I heard what sounded like yelling outside the house. Kino heard it at the same time as me and began to bark. With his barking drowning out the commotion, I couldn't distinguish what the sounds were exactly so I got up to look out the kitchen window.
Much to my disappointment I saw three kids bothering a crow that was on my front lawn. They were flapping their arms and lunging towards him aggressively, while yelling "Caw Caw." When they got close to him, he flew up over my house. I felt so bad for the crow. I don't ever like to see anyone (human or animal) be teased or frightened and I knew I needed to say something . . . to the crow.
Walking out the front door, I got to the edge of the walkway where the driveway begins but couldn't see him anywhere. I had no idea if he was still around but I hoped that he would be able to hear me and began speaking to him. I told him that I was very sorry he had been treated that way and I hoped he knew he was always welcome in my yard.
I questioned for a moment whether I was crazy or not, trying to talk to a crow that may be long gone but then I heard a sound above my head. When I looked at the top of the garage there he was, walking to the edge of the roof line so I could see him. He looked at me for a moment, with what felt like a complete recognition of what I had just said. Telling him again that I was sorry about what happened, I reminded him that I appreciated his presence and hoped that he was ok. After a few more seconds of eye contact, he turned around and flew off the roof of the garage.
Satisfied with the outcome, I went back inside the house and explained to Kino what had occurred. It made me realize how well the situation illustrated the very thing that many people have been grappling with lately - which is around the importance of focusing on what we CAN control. I'm not going to lie - I DID have the thought that I'd like to run outside and yell at the kids for being unkind to the crow but I knew doing that was just going to create more negative energy and likely not change their behavior. What I DID have control over was speaking to the crow and showing him some respect. Coming from my heart in that conversation, the energy I put out was more positive and loving, which is an energy I would prefer to be in and around.
We all get to choose, in each moment, how we are going to react and respond to things. Are we going to complain about what other people should be doing differently? or are we going to look at what is within OUR control at that moment. I'm certainly not perfect in my responses but I do know that each time I can respond from a place of love instead of judgement, I feel a whole lot better.
Monday, June 3, 2019
Do You Need To Say It?
Something I have been observing is that people seem to be even more critical and cranky and wanting to be "right" than ever before. Lately the thought of getting on Facebook or Next-door has me cringing because so many of the comments lean towards the negative. So, I am writing this post as a plea . . . asking if you will please ask yourself "Do I need to say this?" before you make a comment.
This is up for me right now because my next door neighbor posted some beautiful pictures on our neighborhood Facebook page yesterday . . . pictures she had taken of all the incredible birds she had been able to enjoy just that day. Her post was clearly one of gratitude, as she expressed appreciation for getting to live in an area where such a variety of beautiful birds visit her yard.
And then the comments began . . . she was corrected on the spelling of one of the birds. Really? Will any harm really come to a Stellar's Jay if his name is written "Stellar Jay"? She was corrected on the identification of one of the birds, then more people chimed in to disagree and argue about who was right. I shook my head in disappointment . . . they all seemed to be missing the point of her post. Then someone commented on how much they loved Stellar's Jays and that they were told by a Park Ranger that they are actually considered a nuisance bird but that it didn't make her love them any less. And the derogatory comments began to fly . . . about the park ranger . . . about what birds are indigenous to our areas and which ones aren't . . . and what people do to the birds they don't "like" . . . the more I read, the more my heart sank. My poor neighbor just wanted to share an uplifting post with some amazing photographs she had taken and instead people couldn't seem to make negative comments fast enough.
It got me thinking about how often things devolve this way - especially in social media . . and I thought about how much I wished people would pause before commenting . . . to take a breath and ask "Do I need to say this?" . . . Is it the end of the world if the spelling is wrong? Is it going to have a positive effect on the situation if I malign the unnamed Park Ranger? Is it going to do any good at all? or is it just going to create negative energy? Is it just going to inspire more people to be negative?
When I was sitting with this last night, wondering why it bothered me so much, I realized that it comes down to how we treat people and treating people with kindness and respect is very important to me. It takes so little energy to treat others with kindness (or to follow my mom's rule of "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all") We have choices all the time about how we say things . . . a few word changes and we can either help someone or really knock someone down.
Years ago, when I was working on my book (which still isn't done), one of the people who was helping me edit the book had a particularly harsh way of giving feedback. Instead of saying "you mention this here and then you mention it again in the next chapter, you probably only need to say it once" - she said "You're totally insulting the reader by saying this again, you're treating them like they aren't smart enough to remember information from the previous chapter!" I was stunned because I didn't have ANY intention of insulting someone who was reading my book. The manner that she chose to give me feedback eroded my self esteem so much, I questioned whether it was worth it or not to get her assistance. It even made me question whether I should try and finish the book.
There is so much going on in the world right now and I get that people are frustrated and they are scared and yet to me, it seems like that makes it even MORE important to show others a little kindness. Can we cut each other a little slack? . . . Can we take a breath and ask ourselves "Do I really need to say this?" or "Is there a nicer way I can say this?" Rather than hurting people's feelings and making them feel "less than" can we instead say things in a way that allows for a little grace? Can we show each other just a little more kindness? I think it would go a long way towards making this time we are in feel a little less frustrating and scary.
This is up for me right now because my next door neighbor posted some beautiful pictures on our neighborhood Facebook page yesterday . . . pictures she had taken of all the incredible birds she had been able to enjoy just that day. Her post was clearly one of gratitude, as she expressed appreciation for getting to live in an area where such a variety of beautiful birds visit her yard.
It got me thinking about how often things devolve this way - especially in social media . . and I thought about how much I wished people would pause before commenting . . . to take a breath and ask "Do I need to say this?" . . . Is it the end of the world if the spelling is wrong? Is it going to have a positive effect on the situation if I malign the unnamed Park Ranger? Is it going to do any good at all? or is it just going to create negative energy? Is it just going to inspire more people to be negative?
When I was sitting with this last night, wondering why it bothered me so much, I realized that it comes down to how we treat people and treating people with kindness and respect is very important to me. It takes so little energy to treat others with kindness (or to follow my mom's rule of "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all") We have choices all the time about how we say things . . . a few word changes and we can either help someone or really knock someone down.
Years ago, when I was working on my book (which still isn't done), one of the people who was helping me edit the book had a particularly harsh way of giving feedback. Instead of saying "you mention this here and then you mention it again in the next chapter, you probably only need to say it once" - she said "You're totally insulting the reader by saying this again, you're treating them like they aren't smart enough to remember information from the previous chapter!" I was stunned because I didn't have ANY intention of insulting someone who was reading my book. The manner that she chose to give me feedback eroded my self esteem so much, I questioned whether it was worth it or not to get her assistance. It even made me question whether I should try and finish the book.
There is so much going on in the world right now and I get that people are frustrated and they are scared and yet to me, it seems like that makes it even MORE important to show others a little kindness. Can we cut each other a little slack? . . . Can we take a breath and ask ourselves "Do I really need to say this?" or "Is there a nicer way I can say this?" Rather than hurting people's feelings and making them feel "less than" can we instead say things in a way that allows for a little grace? Can we show each other just a little more kindness? I think it would go a long way towards making this time we are in feel a little less frustrating and scary.
Tuesday, May 14, 2019
The Small Joys in Life
If you are sensitive to energy, the last few months have likely been a wild ride. Even if you aren't sensitive to energy, the things that are happening in the world are enough to make anyone's head spin so chances are, many of you have found it challenging to get through the day(s).
I am a big believer in "what you focus on expands" . . . so I do my best to focus on every positive thing that happens, no matter how small . . . and to relish in the joy of it. It is not always easy to do that though.
One of the things I have been battling with in recent months is all my electronics going hay-wire. Phones going out, phone batteries draining at an alarming rate, my CD player breaking, printer issues, etc. You name it, it's happened. I won't lie, it's been a bit of a struggle to keep myself from focusing on my frustrations with many of these situations, especially when something decides to stop working at the exact moment you need it to work but this weekend, I got a fun dose of "magic" that made it a lot easier to shift my focus.
When my CD player died, the carousel door would no longer open, and it just made a horrible grinding noise. I found a replacement CD player on Craigslist, which was great but it didn't solve the issue of my five favorite CD's being stuck inside the old player. Dealing with it has been on my to-do list for months and last weekend, I finally spoke to my next door neighbor who is an engineer about it. He said he would be happy to open it up for me and reunite me with my CD's and as luck would have it, he had the special tools needed to open it up.
At a predetermined time, I walked over there, CD player in hand. After greeting me at the door, he told me I could put it down on the recliner chair. I was in the process of setting it down, while also saying hello to his wife, when out of the corner of my eye I saw something . . . I looked down and noticed one of the CD's was coming out on its own. She and I were so excited and as I reached down to pull it the rest of the way out, she exclaimed "Another one is coming out!" Mind you, it was not plugged in, the carousel door was still shut tight but somehow the CD's were just coming out on their own. Once all five of them were out, we all sat down and had the biggest chuckle together. We joked that the husband was SO skilled, he didn't even need to touch the CD player in order to retrieve the CD's and we joked that maybe there were some angels and fairies that had been working "behind the scenes" to get them out.
All night long I couldn't stop smiling - I am sure there are lots of technically minded people who could offer an explanation for how the CD's freed themselves, but I was content to think that it was just pure magic! Bringing the CD player over gave me a chance to have a really nice visit with my neighbors so there was no downside to the experience. It was easy to focus on how happy I was to have access to my favorite CD's again, which is where I would prefer to put my energy.
Yesterday was another tough day energy wise . . . I experienced waves of extreme tiredness, peppered with bizarre pains that came and went and vision that was so blurry in moments that I couldn't read anything so it was a challenge to keep my thoughts focused on anything positive for very long.
Fortunately for me, Kino was here to shift my focus and lighten the mood. It occurred when we got home from the grocery store. As usual, I placed the grocery bags on the kitchen counter and then began putting everything away. While I was doing this, Kino was crying and carrying on. At first I was slightly annoyed that he was making so much noise when I was trying to concentrate and a little annoyed that I had to keep stepping over him and around him to get to the refrigerator and to the pantry.
And then finally I stopped and looked at him . . . . and I realized that all of his whiny excitement was over the fact that he thought I bought a toy for him at the store . . . his over-the-top excitement was over the toilet bowl brush I had pulled out of the shopping bag. I went from being slightly annoyed to laughing so hard I could barely hold my phone steady as I tried to get pictures of him. I wish I had video too but the pictures capture the moment well enough.
Not only did he shift me into laughter but he also reminded me that it's ok to get excited about the little things in life . . . even if that little thing is just a new toilet bowl brush.
So what are you focusing on? If we get more of what we focus on (What we focus on expands), it's worth it to pay attention to where our focus is. Like I said, it's not always easy but when you can do it, life definitely feels more fun!!
I am a big believer in "what you focus on expands" . . . so I do my best to focus on every positive thing that happens, no matter how small . . . and to relish in the joy of it. It is not always easy to do that though.
One of the things I have been battling with in recent months is all my electronics going hay-wire. Phones going out, phone batteries draining at an alarming rate, my CD player breaking, printer issues, etc. You name it, it's happened. I won't lie, it's been a bit of a struggle to keep myself from focusing on my frustrations with many of these situations, especially when something decides to stop working at the exact moment you need it to work but this weekend, I got a fun dose of "magic" that made it a lot easier to shift my focus.
When my CD player died, the carousel door would no longer open, and it just made a horrible grinding noise. I found a replacement CD player on Craigslist, which was great but it didn't solve the issue of my five favorite CD's being stuck inside the old player. Dealing with it has been on my to-do list for months and last weekend, I finally spoke to my next door neighbor who is an engineer about it. He said he would be happy to open it up for me and reunite me with my CD's and as luck would have it, he had the special tools needed to open it up.
At a predetermined time, I walked over there, CD player in hand. After greeting me at the door, he told me I could put it down on the recliner chair. I was in the process of setting it down, while also saying hello to his wife, when out of the corner of my eye I saw something . . . I looked down and noticed one of the CD's was coming out on its own. She and I were so excited and as I reached down to pull it the rest of the way out, she exclaimed "Another one is coming out!" Mind you, it was not plugged in, the carousel door was still shut tight but somehow the CD's were just coming out on their own. Once all five of them were out, we all sat down and had the biggest chuckle together. We joked that the husband was SO skilled, he didn't even need to touch the CD player in order to retrieve the CD's and we joked that maybe there were some angels and fairies that had been working "behind the scenes" to get them out.
All night long I couldn't stop smiling - I am sure there are lots of technically minded people who could offer an explanation for how the CD's freed themselves, but I was content to think that it was just pure magic! Bringing the CD player over gave me a chance to have a really nice visit with my neighbors so there was no downside to the experience. It was easy to focus on how happy I was to have access to my favorite CD's again, which is where I would prefer to put my energy.
Yesterday was another tough day energy wise . . . I experienced waves of extreme tiredness, peppered with bizarre pains that came and went and vision that was so blurry in moments that I couldn't read anything so it was a challenge to keep my thoughts focused on anything positive for very long.
Fortunately for me, Kino was here to shift my focus and lighten the mood. It occurred when we got home from the grocery store. As usual, I placed the grocery bags on the kitchen counter and then began putting everything away. While I was doing this, Kino was crying and carrying on. At first I was slightly annoyed that he was making so much noise when I was trying to concentrate and a little annoyed that I had to keep stepping over him and around him to get to the refrigerator and to the pantry.
And then finally I stopped and looked at him . . . . and I realized that all of his whiny excitement was over the fact that he thought I bought a toy for him at the store . . . his over-the-top excitement was over the toilet bowl brush I had pulled out of the shopping bag. I went from being slightly annoyed to laughing so hard I could barely hold my phone steady as I tried to get pictures of him. I wish I had video too but the pictures capture the moment well enough. 
Not only did he shift me into laughter but he also reminded me that it's ok to get excited about the little things in life . . . even if that little thing is just a new toilet bowl brush.
So what are you focusing on? If we get more of what we focus on (What we focus on expands), it's worth it to pay attention to where our focus is. Like I said, it's not always easy but when you can do it, life definitely feels more fun!!
Thursday, February 21, 2019
We Are One But We're Not The Same
People often speak of the concept that "we are one" . . . meaning that we are all energy, we are all divine beings having a human experience and we are all portions of a greater whole.
At the same time, we are each on our own journey . . . having our own experiences . . . reacting and responding to things differently - based on how we were raised (beliefs, culture, etc), based on our unique body chemistry, etc.
I'm learning just how important it is to honor our uniqueness - our individualness - because there isn't a one-size-fits-all approach to anything in life. I'm also learning that the key to being able to honor our uniqueness lies in our ability to truly listen to ourselves. The more we listen to ourselves, our bodies and our hearts, the easier it is to navigate the multitude of options available to us.
I got "schooled" in this when I first adopted Kino. He was a German shepherd, just like my previous dog Lucky, so even though I knew his temperament and his personality were different, I assumed everything else would be the same. I was wrong.
Lucky loved eating ice cubes and always got a frozen Kong filled with goodies when I left her alone so I did the same thing with Kino . . . and quickly discovered that when anything cold hit his stomach, he would projectile vomit. It had never occurred to me that he wouldn't be able to enjoy the same treats as her.
I used a prong collar with Lucky, which kept her from pulling when we were on walks. She didn't seem to mind it at all so I used one with Kino early on and quickly (although not quickly enough) discovered that it sparked intense aggression in him.
They are unique individuals - regardless of how "alike" they seem - and I have learned that I should never assume that because something worked with her that it will work with him.
This applies to humans as well. We forget sometimes that we truly are different, even if we seem similar from the outside. I am very cautious now when I hear people push things from a "one-size-fits-all" perspective . . . whether it's a diet, a holistic approach to healing, or anything else.
People have such strong opinions about the food we eat. People who are vegan often believe that it's the ONLY way and admonish people who still eat meat. Many people who follow the Paleo diet do the same thing. People who have had success following the guidance in the book The Medical Medium often believe that if anyone has any health issues, they just need to drink celery juice every morning and all their issues will be resolved. I don't believe that is true. Our power lies in learning to pay attention to our own bodies, to pay attention to how we feel after we eat this or that. The more we listen to ourselves, the less we pay attention to what everyone else says is the "right way" the happier and healthier we will be.
From a healing perspective there are so many options out there. There is EFT and tapping, Reiki, acupuncture, breathing techniques, affirmations, somatic therapy, cranial sacral therapy and so many more! And what works for one person may not work for the next. If we try out a specific healing modality, what's important is for us to then listen to ourselves to know if it helped or not. Just because it helped someone else doesn't mean it will be the right modality for us.
I believe one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves is the gift of listening . . . listening to ourselves, to how we feel, how our bodies react and respond to different things. There's a lot of pressure out there to "conform" because people inadvertently think they have "the" answer, when the truth is, "the" answer is unique to each one of us.
So listen to yourself, trust your own inner knowing about what is right for you. It will help you in ways that may surprise you.
At the same time, we are each on our own journey . . . having our own experiences . . . reacting and responding to things differently - based on how we were raised (beliefs, culture, etc), based on our unique body chemistry, etc.
I'm learning just how important it is to honor our uniqueness - our individualness - because there isn't a one-size-fits-all approach to anything in life. I'm also learning that the key to being able to honor our uniqueness lies in our ability to truly listen to ourselves. The more we listen to ourselves, our bodies and our hearts, the easier it is to navigate the multitude of options available to us.
I got "schooled" in this when I first adopted Kino. He was a German shepherd, just like my previous dog Lucky, so even though I knew his temperament and his personality were different, I assumed everything else would be the same. I was wrong.
Lucky loved eating ice cubes and always got a frozen Kong filled with goodies when I left her alone so I did the same thing with Kino . . . and quickly discovered that when anything cold hit his stomach, he would projectile vomit. It had never occurred to me that he wouldn't be able to enjoy the same treats as her.
I used a prong collar with Lucky, which kept her from pulling when we were on walks. She didn't seem to mind it at all so I used one with Kino early on and quickly (although not quickly enough) discovered that it sparked intense aggression in him.
They are unique individuals - regardless of how "alike" they seem - and I have learned that I should never assume that because something worked with her that it will work with him.
This applies to humans as well. We forget sometimes that we truly are different, even if we seem similar from the outside. I am very cautious now when I hear people push things from a "one-size-fits-all" perspective . . . whether it's a diet, a holistic approach to healing, or anything else.
People have such strong opinions about the food we eat. People who are vegan often believe that it's the ONLY way and admonish people who still eat meat. Many people who follow the Paleo diet do the same thing. People who have had success following the guidance in the book The Medical Medium often believe that if anyone has any health issues, they just need to drink celery juice every morning and all their issues will be resolved. I don't believe that is true. Our power lies in learning to pay attention to our own bodies, to pay attention to how we feel after we eat this or that. The more we listen to ourselves, the less we pay attention to what everyone else says is the "right way" the happier and healthier we will be.
From a healing perspective there are so many options out there. There is EFT and tapping, Reiki, acupuncture, breathing techniques, affirmations, somatic therapy, cranial sacral therapy and so many more! And what works for one person may not work for the next. If we try out a specific healing modality, what's important is for us to then listen to ourselves to know if it helped or not. Just because it helped someone else doesn't mean it will be the right modality for us.
I believe one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves is the gift of listening . . . listening to ourselves, to how we feel, how our bodies react and respond to different things. There's a lot of pressure out there to "conform" because people inadvertently think they have "the" answer, when the truth is, "the" answer is unique to each one of us.
So listen to yourself, trust your own inner knowing about what is right for you. It will help you in ways that may surprise you.
Wednesday, February 6, 2019
Becoming An Empowered Empath
I'm writing this blog for people who identify as empaths because it is not always an easy journey. From the research I have found, only 5-7% of the population are empaths. Regardless of whether that statistic is accurate (i.e. if the number is higher), the point is that the % of us on the planet is small right now. This means that learning how to "be" an empath can be very challenging because we don't learn about it in school and there didn't used to be any resources available to support us in how we experience the world. A lot of people who are empaths spend the first part of their lives feeling that there is something very wrong with them and wishing they could just be like everyone else.
Here are some of the things we may feel before we realize we're an empath:
The Unaware Empath:
- Feel different than everyone else
- Often wonder if there is something wrong with us
- Can feel overwhelmed by people, places and things
- Can feel very emotional and not always understand why
- Often feel overly responsible for everyone else's happiness
- Can feel exhausted after being around people
- Often feel taken advantage of by others
- Sometimes feels victimized by the effect other people have on them
- Can feel a little crazy sometimes
Then the first bit of magic arrives! When we reach the part of our journey where we realize there is a "name" for this thing we are - this way of being in the world that seems so wildly different from everyone else - and with that comes a feeling of elation. So many things about ourselves and our lives finally make sense and it can be an incredibly wonderful feeling when the puzzle pieces start to click into place.
Unfortunately this stage is usually followed by a feeling of overwhelm as we begin to pay attention to how we react and respond to the energy that we are constantly absorbing in the world around us. We may find ourselves even more emotional than normal (and wonder how that's even possible). Then there is the onslaught of questions that start bouncing around in our heads. Are all these things we're feeling ours? or are we picking up on other people's emotions? or their physical pain? Are we only feeling what people in the room are feeling? or is it possible we are picking up on what someone is feeling 100 miles away? How do we stop this barrage of energy from throwing us off kilter all the time?
We may begin to feel that being around people and interacting with people is just too much to handle. Often we want to hibernate, we want to grocery shop late at night when most people are in bed and we sometimes feel the weight of the world slowly pushing us down. We may view being an empath as a curse or at a minimum feel that it's a pointless "gift" because we don't understand how to use it.
The wonderful news is that there IS a way out . . . there is a way to move from the initial overwhelm into a space where we truly see our gift as a GIFT and not a curse (the empowered empath). We can get to the place where we see how we can truly help others and be a positive force in the world without running ourselves into the ground doing it. There are tools and techniques we may need to learn in order to get there but we CAN get there. Some of the things that have been helpful to me and other empaths I have worked with are:
Getting Empowered:
- Learning to set boundaries
- Learning that its ok to say "No"
- Learning to accept and honor our own feelings
- Learning what emotions are ours and which emotions belong to others
- Learning to ground ourselves
- Learning how to manage energy (our own and other's)
- Healing old emotional wounds
- Finding our voice / giving ourselves permission to speak up
- Creating daily practices that honor our own self care
- Exploring our intuitive abilities
The road can be long or not quite as long, it can be difficult or not quite as difficult depending on where we are when we begin this journey, how much support we have and how dedicated we are to staying on this path to find our way back to ourselves. There is no "right" way to get there. Many of the hurdles will be different and we each need to find our own way but we CAN get there. We truly can get to the point where it's fun and exciting to be an empath. I promise you, it is well worth the journey.
When we reach the point of being an empowered empath, here are some of the things we might experience:
The Empowered Empath:
- Have more harmonious relationships
- Feel more of a sense of peace
- Able to set clear and healthy boundaries with others
- Confident in how we experience energy and our ability to transmute it
- Know we can effect the energy around us
- Can speak up when we have something to say
- Accept and honor the fact that we are each on our own journey - we no longer feel so responsible for everyone else
- Feel comfortable in our own skin
- Feel a stronger sense of purpose
- Know who we are and how we want to interact with the world
- Find ways (big and small) to use this gift of ours to be of service to humanity
Finally, it's important to point out that this isn't a linear path. I have learned that for a while we may bounce back and forth between the "Unaware Empath" experiences and the "Empowered Empath" experiences. There may be days where we really feel like we've got this! And a couple days later, we may feel like we've taken 10 steps backwards.
For instance, maybe you feel like you've finally mastered setting boundaries with others and are enjoying this new way of being and then "Boom!" - out of nowhere you encounter someone who seems to push every button you have and your boundaries collapse. You may feel very discouraged and wonder why you bothered trying but please know this is all part of the process.
Those "steps backwards" are actually gifts . . . they may be showing us where we have a little something else that can be learned or healed. And when we do that, we can come back stronger than ever. We deserve to enjoy all the beauty and the benefits that come with being an empath so hang in there and keep putting one foot in front of the other! I promise - you will be glad you did!
Here are some of the things we may feel before we realize we're an empath:
The Unaware Empath:
- Feel different than everyone else
- Often wonder if there is something wrong with us
- Can feel overwhelmed by people, places and things
- Can feel very emotional and not always understand why
- Often feel overly responsible for everyone else's happiness
- Can feel exhausted after being around people
- Often feel taken advantage of by others
- Sometimes feels victimized by the effect other people have on them
- Can feel a little crazy sometimes
Then the first bit of magic arrives! When we reach the part of our journey where we realize there is a "name" for this thing we are - this way of being in the world that seems so wildly different from everyone else - and with that comes a feeling of elation. So many things about ourselves and our lives finally make sense and it can be an incredibly wonderful feeling when the puzzle pieces start to click into place.
Unfortunately this stage is usually followed by a feeling of overwhelm as we begin to pay attention to how we react and respond to the energy that we are constantly absorbing in the world around us. We may find ourselves even more emotional than normal (and wonder how that's even possible). Then there is the onslaught of questions that start bouncing around in our heads. Are all these things we're feeling ours? or are we picking up on other people's emotions? or their physical pain? Are we only feeling what people in the room are feeling? or is it possible we are picking up on what someone is feeling 100 miles away? How do we stop this barrage of energy from throwing us off kilter all the time?
We may begin to feel that being around people and interacting with people is just too much to handle. Often we want to hibernate, we want to grocery shop late at night when most people are in bed and we sometimes feel the weight of the world slowly pushing us down. We may view being an empath as a curse or at a minimum feel that it's a pointless "gift" because we don't understand how to use it.
The wonderful news is that there IS a way out . . . there is a way to move from the initial overwhelm into a space where we truly see our gift as a GIFT and not a curse (the empowered empath). We can get to the place where we see how we can truly help others and be a positive force in the world without running ourselves into the ground doing it. There are tools and techniques we may need to learn in order to get there but we CAN get there. Some of the things that have been helpful to me and other empaths I have worked with are:
Getting Empowered:
- Learning to set boundaries
- Learning that its ok to say "No"
- Learning to accept and honor our own feelings
- Learning what emotions are ours and which emotions belong to others
- Learning to ground ourselves
- Learning how to manage energy (our own and other's)
- Healing old emotional wounds
- Finding our voice / giving ourselves permission to speak up
- Creating daily practices that honor our own self care
- Exploring our intuitive abilities
The road can be long or not quite as long, it can be difficult or not quite as difficult depending on where we are when we begin this journey, how much support we have and how dedicated we are to staying on this path to find our way back to ourselves. There is no "right" way to get there. Many of the hurdles will be different and we each need to find our own way but we CAN get there. We truly can get to the point where it's fun and exciting to be an empath. I promise you, it is well worth the journey.
When we reach the point of being an empowered empath, here are some of the things we might experience:
The Empowered Empath:
- Have more harmonious relationships
- Feel more of a sense of peace
- Able to set clear and healthy boundaries with others
- Confident in how we experience energy and our ability to transmute it
- Know we can effect the energy around us
- Can speak up when we have something to say
- Accept and honor the fact that we are each on our own journey - we no longer feel so responsible for everyone else
- Feel comfortable in our own skin
- Feel a stronger sense of purpose
- Know who we are and how we want to interact with the world
- Find ways (big and small) to use this gift of ours to be of service to humanity
Finally, it's important to point out that this isn't a linear path. I have learned that for a while we may bounce back and forth between the "Unaware Empath" experiences and the "Empowered Empath" experiences. There may be days where we really feel like we've got this! And a couple days later, we may feel like we've taken 10 steps backwards.
For instance, maybe you feel like you've finally mastered setting boundaries with others and are enjoying this new way of being and then "Boom!" - out of nowhere you encounter someone who seems to push every button you have and your boundaries collapse. You may feel very discouraged and wonder why you bothered trying but please know this is all part of the process.
Those "steps backwards" are actually gifts . . . they may be showing us where we have a little something else that can be learned or healed. And when we do that, we can come back stronger than ever. We deserve to enjoy all the beauty and the benefits that come with being an empath so hang in there and keep putting one foot in front of the other! I promise - you will be glad you did!
Saturday, January 12, 2019
If You See Something, Do Something
We are living in very challenging times. If you watch the news, every sound byte gives us something else to feel awful about. Even if you don't watch the news, the challenges we are facing in our society are everywhere we look.
If we keep looking at all the things we don't like in the world right now, chances are we're going to have a tough time getting out of bed each day and on top of that, since our thoughts manifest pretty quickly these days, we could end up attracting more things that make us unhappy.
So what's a person to do? I'm finding that one of the best things we can do is: Do something
One day I was walking on the beach looking for sea glass and met a nice gal who was picking up trash. As we talked and walked together, I began joining her in picking up every little piece of trash we saw, no matter how small. She inspired me that day to do my part. Rather than sit back and complain about people who don't clean up after themselves or wring my hands and worry about all that trash getting into the ocean and affecting sea life, she showed me that it could be as simple as just picking up the trash you see.
On subsequent beach walks, I have seen her again and she's introduced me to other "trash gatherers" who regularly walk the beach for that purpose. All kind hearted souls who are making a difference, one piece of trash at a time.
So what about the homeless? Does it upset you when you see a homeless person shivering in the cold? You could feel awful about it all night. You could spend some time being angry about all the reasons someone might end up homeless. Or you could give that person something to eat or give them some gloves to help them stay warm. You don't need to get food and gloves for every single homeless person in the world - you can just help that one person. Maybe you don't have the money to buy them something, so what if you just smiled at them? or sent some love from your heart to theirs?
I know sometimes we can get overwhelmed with the breadth and depth of the issues we see. We often feel like the problems are too great and that there is no way we can make a difference ourselves but it doesn't mean we can't do something. If everyone is doing something, no matter how small, collectively, it can add up to some really big positive results.
Finally, back to the topic of trash on the beach, I recently came across a company started by a couple young guys who wanted to start getting plastic out of the ocean and on the coastlines. They needed to raise some money to help their efforts so they began selling beaded bracelets. The bracelets come in different colors to support different marine life (I just got a dolphin bracelet). Each bracelet costs $20 and the profits go towards getting more plastic out of the ocean and disposing of it properly. They say that each bracelet purchased will remove one pound of trash from the ocean and coastlines.
I thought their idea was brilliant . . . not only their goal to cleaning the earth's ocean, 1 pound at a time . . . but the fact that they are giving people an easy way to assist in their effort. Not everyone has time to walk the beach and pick up trash, not everyone lives close enough to the ocean to do it either but for $20 you can support the guys who are doing this and even have a fun bracelet to wear.
If you'd like to learn more and help with their efforts, their website is: www.4ocean.com
Adding on here . . . as I just stumbled across another incredible effort started by a few people who saw a problem and came up with a solution. It's pop-up stores for the homeless. If you are interested, here's a link to their site: http://www.thestreetstore.org
If we keep looking at all the things we don't like in the world right now, chances are we're going to have a tough time getting out of bed each day and on top of that, since our thoughts manifest pretty quickly these days, we could end up attracting more things that make us unhappy.
So what's a person to do? I'm finding that one of the best things we can do is: Do something
One day I was walking on the beach looking for sea glass and met a nice gal who was picking up trash. As we talked and walked together, I began joining her in picking up every little piece of trash we saw, no matter how small. She inspired me that day to do my part. Rather than sit back and complain about people who don't clean up after themselves or wring my hands and worry about all that trash getting into the ocean and affecting sea life, she showed me that it could be as simple as just picking up the trash you see.
On subsequent beach walks, I have seen her again and she's introduced me to other "trash gatherers" who regularly walk the beach for that purpose. All kind hearted souls who are making a difference, one piece of trash at a time.
So what about the homeless? Does it upset you when you see a homeless person shivering in the cold? You could feel awful about it all night. You could spend some time being angry about all the reasons someone might end up homeless. Or you could give that person something to eat or give them some gloves to help them stay warm. You don't need to get food and gloves for every single homeless person in the world - you can just help that one person. Maybe you don't have the money to buy them something, so what if you just smiled at them? or sent some love from your heart to theirs?
I know sometimes we can get overwhelmed with the breadth and depth of the issues we see. We often feel like the problems are too great and that there is no way we can make a difference ourselves but it doesn't mean we can't do something. If everyone is doing something, no matter how small, collectively, it can add up to some really big positive results.
Finally, back to the topic of trash on the beach, I recently came across a company started by a couple young guys who wanted to start getting plastic out of the ocean and on the coastlines. They needed to raise some money to help their efforts so they began selling beaded bracelets. The bracelets come in different colors to support different marine life (I just got a dolphin bracelet). Each bracelet costs $20 and the profits go towards getting more plastic out of the ocean and disposing of it properly. They say that each bracelet purchased will remove one pound of trash from the ocean and coastlines.
I thought their idea was brilliant . . . not only their goal to cleaning the earth's ocean, 1 pound at a time . . . but the fact that they are giving people an easy way to assist in their effort. Not everyone has time to walk the beach and pick up trash, not everyone lives close enough to the ocean to do it either but for $20 you can support the guys who are doing this and even have a fun bracelet to wear.
If you'd like to learn more and help with their efforts, their website is: www.4ocean.com
Adding on here . . . as I just stumbled across another incredible effort started by a few people who saw a problem and came up with a solution. It's pop-up stores for the homeless. If you are interested, here's a link to their site: http://www.thestreetstore.org
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