A few weeks ago, I was out having dinner at a local restaurant. Towards the end of our meal, my dinner companion and I struck up a conversation with the folks at the table next to us. They were really nice and we had some hearty laughs together before we left the restaurant.
On the way to the car, I mentioned to my companion how lovely I thought our table neighbors were and how much I had enjoyed talking and laughing with them. He agreed that they were very nice and then he said, "but they all could use to lose a little weight." I was stunned. Not only was I surprised that my dinner companion would offer up such a huge slice of judgement but I was also very saddened by the fact that if he was judging others that much, I knew he probably judged himself even more.
It has been said that if we judge others, we more than likely judge ourselves tenfold . . . I think about that a lot when I hear people dishing out judgement. Oh how I wish we could all get to the place where we love and accept ourselves . . . just think about how much happier we all would be.
On my neighborhood email list, the new trend is to judge people who still have a green lawn. Given that we are in a drought right now people seem to think that having a dead lawn is a sign that you are making sacrifices with your water usage. The messages have been so harsh, it seems some of these folks are on the verge of grabbing their pitchforks and putting people who have green lawns up on a stake. They don't appear to take into consideration that maybe people are cutting their indoor water usage more dramatically so that they can have a green lawn. They don't appear to consider that people with brown lawns may be wasting water inside their homes.
Every time I read these messages, I can't help wishing that people could be more like animals. Animals don't judge. It's not a part of their make up. I have never had an animal tell me "My guardian doesn't keep a very clean house" or "My guardian has really bad breath" or "My guardian should go on a diet." Nor have I heard an animal offer up judgement about themselves.
Since they don't judge themselves and they don't judge their guardians, they are happy. Sure, they tell me what they would like, i.e. "I would like it if my guardian rinsed the slime out my water bowl more often" or "I wouldn't mind if the cat box were cleaned out more frequently" but never is it offered up as judgement against their guardian . . . just things that could make them happier than they already are.
I'd love to see us all take a page from the animal handbook and try living without judgement - of ourselves or others - and see how it feels. I suspect there would be a lot more happy people roaming around this planet, with bigger smiles and more peacefulness inside.
One final thought to ponder . . . a quote by the Dalai Lama: "What is love? Love is the absence of judgement."
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