Unconditional Love

On my wall calendar, in addition to a picture of a German shepherd each month, there is a quote.  The quote for May was from Gilda Radner and it said:  "I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love.  For me they are the role model for being alive."

I have been thinking about how true that is - not just regarding dogs, but all animals.  And I have thought about the message that many of my animal clients delivered to their guardians before they made their transition:  "Please be as kind and loving to yourself as you have been to me all these years."

Animals understand how important it is for us to love ourselves unconditionally, to be kind and gentle with ourselves.  Unfortunately, it's something that has been hard on the majority of us to actually do - I think in part because it is so ingrained in us to NOT love ourselves unconditionally, that we don't even recognize when we're not doing it.

I have spoken with many of my clients about how important it is to love themselves and I am often met with blank stares and confused expressions.  Maybe it's because we aren't quite sure what it really means.  If you treated yourself to a massage, yes that is being kind and loving to yourself, but it's beyond that.  If you've learned to take care of yourself by eating better or getting more sleep when you need it, that's wonderful, but it is beyond that as well.

Being kind and loving to ourselves has more to do with how we speak to ourselves, how we react to problems/issues that we encounter or mistakes that we have made.  When we accidentally eat the whole party size bag of potato chips while watching TV, do we berate ourselves? or call ourselves names? or do we say, "I must have needed to do that tonight, I'll do better tomorrow."  When we realize we made a mistake, do we feel shame? or criticize ourselves? or do we say, "I've had a lot going on this week that has kept me from concentrating . . . I am going to slow down and breathe more, so I can be more focused next time."  When we accidentally put a red shirt in with a load of whites, do we say "How could I be so stupid?" or do we cut ourselves some slack and say "It's OK, it could happen to anyone."

It seems more important than ever, right now in our evolution, to learn how to truly be kind and gentle and loving with ourselves.  Animals keep trying to give us the message, they keep modeling the behavior of unconditional love . . . showing us that no matter how late we were, how grumpy we were, how distracted we were, etc . . . that they still love us just as much as they did an hour earlier.  They keep hoping that we will see how they do it and that it will inspire us to start doing it ourselves.  They keep hoping we will realize they love us without conditions . . . and that it is more than OK for us to love ourselves without conditions as well.

So how about giving it a try?  See if you can talk to yourself more kindly, cut yourself some slack, trust that you are always doing the best that you can do in any given moment, love yourself even if you aren't at your ideal weight, or you lost your temper, or you are scared to face an issue that needs to be resolved . . . just love yourself anyway, just as our animals do . . . and then allow yourself to feel the peacefulness that comes with it.   I think if we keep practicing being that loving with ourselves, in time, it will become easier and eventually, we won't need to practice anymore.  It is a day that I look forward to very much.