A Change in Status

The month started out with more people interested in adopting Kino.  I kept wondering if Kino would do better with another dog to play with so I was encouraged when someone came along who was looking for a playmate for their male dog.  The guardian met Kino and really liked him so our next step was to get the dogs together to see how they got along.

Given the complexity of Kino's interactions with other dogs, we decided to enlist the help of our favorite animal behavioralist at the shelter, Kevin, to ensure things went smoothly.  After a lot of schedule juggling, we were able to set a time to meet up on January 12th.

Before we left that day, I explained to Kino what was going on and asked him to be as clear with me as possible if he wanted to live with the dog he was meeting.  As we drove away from my house, I realized that it was January 12th, the day I adopted Lucky and I thought how odd it would be if I ended up letting Kino go on that same day.

When we got to the shelter, Kevin suggested we walk the dogs back and forth on leash in the parking lot to let them get a little more comfortable with each other.   As the potential adopter and I walked back and forth with the dogs, I was surprised to see that Kino refused to look at her dog.  I even made a joke that if I didn't know any better, I'd think Kino was trained as a drug or bomb sniffing dog, because he was only interested in sniffing the trunk of every single car in the parking lot . . . something he has never done before.

Since Kino wasn't "reacting" in a negative way, they decided to bring them into the yard and see if they were ready for an off-leash interaction.  I handed the leash to Kevin (in part to make sure Kino wasn't picking up on my energy) and as Kevin walked Kino into the yard, Kino tried to pull him back to the gate where I was.  I felt Kino's "answer" so intensely that it made me well up with tears . . . here I was expecting him to either say "yes or no" to this particular dog but instead what he was telling me was that he didn't want to be adopted by anyone else, he wanted to stay with me.

I didn't say anything, deciding to just let the "meet and greet continue" . . . Kino continued to show that he didn't want to have anything to do with the other dog.  He wouldn't even walk near him, and just kept trying to pull Kevin back to the gate to get out of the yard.

I wasn't quite prepared to make this decision.  I don't know why not - but I had some resistance.  People often say "you get the dog you need, not the dog you want" and in many ways, Kino wasn't the dog I wanted.  I thought my next dog was going to be "easy." I imagined us going everywhere together, with him or her being comfortable in every situation with every person or dog we met . . . and instead Kino was a dog who reacted randomly to people and reacted not as randomly to other dogs.  He was a dog who showed me just how much I still needed to learn about dog behavior and that wasn't what I had planned on.

He had made his intention very clear though, so I decided we ought to go the beach the next day so I could ponder this decision.  The beach is always where I do my best thinking, where I feel the most peaceful and the most connected to my guides, so it seemed like the right next step.

Our trip to the beach that next day was one of the most stressful and I'll even say miserable trips to the beach I have ever had (thus, the motivation for the post I wrote last time - my plea to dog guardians). Never in my life have I seen so many people at the beach on a weekday in January.  I was totally unprepared for the sheer volume of people and dogs we encountered.  I tried walking several miles down to the quietest stretch of beach but all along the way, off-leash dogs were charging at us and running in circles around us . . . and Kino was understandably freaking out.  I think I pulled almost every muscle in my arms, my abs and my legs trying to hold Kino back each time one of these dogs came running at us.

So clearly no deep thinking occurred that day, there was no peacefulness and if I was getting guidance from the other side, I didn't hear any of it.  I tried to make the best of it and when we had a few minutes to ourselves, I attempted to memorialize our day at the beach with a few selfies.  As you can see, Kino wasn't that into it.  In the first picture, I at least managed to get both our heads in there before he squirmed away and in the second one, his head HAD been right there over my shoulder two seconds earlier but by the time I pressed the button, something else had caught his attention.  He was just too stressed out to sit still long enough for us to take a picture.

I dreaded the walk back down the beach because I knew we were going to encounter more of what we had already experienced, since there were still hundreds of people on the beach.  I contemplated sitting there until the sun went down and everyone went home, but I managed to muster up the gumption to make our way back.  When we finally got to the massive staircase that stood between us and our car, I saw one of my favorite people coming down the stairs.  It was Steve and his German shepherd Lyka.  I met them shortly after Lucky passed away and over the years, Lyka has been happy to give me my German shepherd fix each time I've seen them at the beach.

When Steve saw me standing there with a German shepherd, he got the biggest smile on his face and started to excitedly walk towards us.  I quickly explained that Kino wasn't too hip on strangers and that he was leash reactive, especially after the day we had been having.  He and Lyka both stopped immediately and we spoke to each other from a distance.  He asked if Kino was mine and I explained that I had been fostering him and that I had come to the beach to contemplate and decide if I should adopt him.  I admitted that after the day we had, I was more unsure than ever if I was up to the task and Steve just looked at me with a quizzical look on his face and said, "But who better to help him than you?"

On the drive home, I kept thinking about what Steve said.  It struck me in part because Steve doesn't know much about me at all, aside from the fact that I love German shepherds and that I missed Lucky. Our conversations have mostly centered on how Lyka was doing and if they were still doing their daily jog on the beach, so I thought it was interesting that he was so sure that I was capable of helping Kino . . . but that phrase kept ringing in my head . . . "but who better to help him that you" and I realized he was right.  Kino had come into my life for a reason and if anyone was going to be able to help him, it WAS me.

When we got home, I called the gal from the rescue group and told her that I wanted to adopt Kino.  She was thrilled and I think Kino was too because he spent most of that night as well as most of the next morning with his head in my lap.

So, I have transitioned from foster mom to just "mom" . . . We don't have to work as hard now to help Kino be "adoptable" which I think has made us both happier - we've just been enjoying our new "status. "  I am trusting that Kino is meant to be in my life, and I am trusting that I will continue to find ways to help him feel safer and more comfortable around strangers and other dogs.  I am also thinking that I might have to go alone the next time I take a trip to the beach.  :-)