Honoring Bailey

A very good friend of mine found out a few weeks ago that her German Shepherd, Bailey, had an aggressive and untreatable form of cancer. They knew time was limited, so Joan did her best to make the most of each day and to keep focusing on the positives. Even though they had had a few rough nights in recent weeks, for the most part, Bailey was still doing pretty well. She was enjoying their walks, voraciously eating every meal and every cookie that was offered to her and continuing to show just how big and sweet her personality was.

I got to spend some time with Joan and Bailey in recent weeks and I was in awe of the beautiful relationship they had with each other. The respect and the love they had for one another was evident in every moment. Even though Joan asked me for help communicating with Bailey, through the stories she shared and the things I witnessed myself, I knew they had a profoundly deep and absolutely sweet form of communication already. I teased Joan and told her that she really didn't need me because she and Bailey were communicating so well already.

Joan never had any problems knowing what Bailey wanted. She would just say, "Show me" and Bailey would turn her head and look at whatever it was that she wanted. Or if she was laying outside and Joan asked if she wanted to come in, turning her head away meant that she didn't want to come in. They were communicating all the time and I don't think Joan even realized how fantastic their communication was. Joan constantly asked Bailey questions and Bailey always found a way to communicate her answers. Theirs was a beautiful partnership in so many ways.

Bailey also had so much personality. I would giggle over the stories Joan would tell me about the things Bailey would do. One of my favorites was that Joan's mom was famous for sneaking potato chips to Bailey when they were watching TV together, even though they knew Joan would prefer that she didn't. Each time she did it, Bailey would eat the potato chip, then she'd look over at Joan and stare at her, as if to say "Did you see that?" with a little gleam in her eye. Bailey also loved to chase leaves - and I'll confess she's the first dog I have ever known who loved to do that. I don't think I'll ever watch a leaf fall from a tree again without it bringing a smile to my face.

Bailey also loved her stuffed animals and treated them like friends. She always brought one with her (transported in her mouth) whenever she was greeting someone who came to the house, and she would sleep with them in her bed as well. She seemed content to be surrounded by her "friends."

Joan has caregivers come to the house to help her mom during the week when she is at work and originally, she suggested they put Bailey outside when they came over. But she soon discovered that Bailey had easily wormed her way into the hearts of the caregivers and they wouldn't dream of putting her outside when they came over. Bailey did all she could to "help" take care of her grandma and she developed a close relationship with the other people who came to take care of grandma too.

I saw them on Saturday night and got to enjoy watching Bailey in action, as she "showed" Joan what she wanted again and again, by walking over to the door where the treats were. :-) When I would tell Joan about something I was picking up from Bailey, Bailey would stare intently at Joan when it was something she really wanted her mom to hear, like when I said, "Bailey doesn't want you to worry so much about her, she wants you to just enjoy each other's company." I had a wonderful time being there with them, even though much of our discussion was on the scary reality they were facing, I couldn't help enjoying being a witness to their beautiful friendship.

The next morning, not long after I woke up, I thought about my friend Joan and I started to cry. It surprised me that the sadness came on as strong as it did, but a half hour later, when I got on the computer and found an email from her, I understood why. Bailey had had a stroke that morning and was paralyzed on her left side. Things were not looking good.

I called her immediately and throughout the day, I checked in with Bailey to talk to her about what was going on and how she and her mom were feeling. Joan knew the end was coming, and had a call into her vet, who was willing to come over and help Bailey cross over if that was what was needed. Joan really hoped Bailey would pass on her own and I understood how she felt, as I didn't want to have to make the decision to help Lucky cross over when she was nearing the end either. Neither of us wanted to intervene in the spiritual process that occurs at the end of life. I knew that Bailey would do everything she could to honor her mom's wishes, because I believe animals always will if they can.

At 3:45 that afternoon, I was sitting in my house visiting with another friend when a huge wave of grief came through me. I sobbed and sobbed, while apologized to my friend because I didn't know for sure why I was crying so hard, but several hours later, Joan called to tell me that Bailey had passed away, peacefully on her own . . . at around 3:30pm. My heart broke for her, and yet, I'll confess, it was a bit of a relief to understand why I had been crying around that time. Being an intuitive, empathic person can be a little rough sometimes.

Sweet Bailey left this world on Sunday, January 29th . . . two weeks shy of her 10th birthday. Her time here was too short but she lived well while she was here and make a big, beautiful impression on everyone who had the pleasure of meeting her. Interestingly enough, January 29th is the day Joan's father passed away many years ago. It was already a day of remembrance, a special day to honor an important member of the family and it will continue to be that . . . I suspect Joan's father was there to greet Bailey when she got to the other side. I can't imagine anything else.

This final picture of Bailey was taken at Gates of Heaven cemetery, where Joan's father is buried. It is where my mother's remains are as well. Joan and Bailey frequently went to the cemetery to visit with Joan's dad and Bailey always understood the significance of their visits there.

Bailey was a magnificent dog, who was wise beyond her years. She was regal and extremely intelligent yet she also had the ability to make anyone of any age giggle because her personality was so abundant. She made this world a better place for those who got to share their life with her. She will be missed but I have no doubt, she will be keeping a close eye on Joan, continuing to look for ways to communicate with her.