As Lucky's back legs have gotten weaker in recent weeks and her back has tightened up, she has had trouble changing positions when she is sleeping. If she is laying on her left side and wants to turn around and lay on her right side, she often gets stuck and needs assistance getting herself up and turned around. Sound sleep is something that has been evading me lately, as some nights, Lucky wants to change positions frequently, which means through out the night, I would wake to the sound of her struggling to move. I would lean over the side of the bed, slip an arm under her torso and lift up her back end so she could reposition herself. Sometimes, I couldn't get enough leverage while hanging over the side of the bed, so I would have to get out of bed so I could use two arms to help lift her. Once she was settled in a comfortable position, I would crawl back into bed and attempt to fall asleep . . . until the next time she wanted to change positions.
It doesn't bother me that she needs the help, and it's certainly not a problem for me to hang over the side of the bed and lend a hand (or an arm) to assist her or even to get out of bed to help, but recently, we had a couple rough nights where she seemed to be struggling to change positions every 45 minutes. That meant that I was sleeping in only 30-45 minute intervals. I knew it was because her back was bothering her, so in the daytime I would do everything I could to massage her back, help her stretch, etc to help loosen up the tight muscles. It was taking it's toll on me though - several nights in a row of only sleeping for a maximum of 45 minutes at a time. I was feeling sleep deprived and run down.
When someone asked me how I was doing, I explained (whined?) about how tired I was because of the frequency that Lucky was needing my help during the night. I didn't think about the fact that Lucky was sitting right there listening and I went on and on about how much I just wanted to get some solid sleep and how I knew my coping skills would increase if I could get more sleep.
Last week, I noticed something odd. I would hear Lucky trying to get up in the middle of the night and when I would lean over the bed to lend a hand, she'd immediately lay back down and pretend she wasn't trying to move. She'd put her head down between her paws and close her eyes. Each time it happened, it struck me as odd but I'll confess I didn't give it too much thought, as I was relieved to be able to lay back down and fall asleep before I woke up too much. Yet, after several nights of this, I couldn't ignore it anymore. I knew there was some reason she was laying back down and pretending she wasn't really trying to change positions and I knew I needed to figure out why. Something just wasn't right about it.
I sat down on the floor with her, closed my eyes and pictured her pretending she wasn't trying to move, hoping to get some insight into what was going on. The answer immediately popped into my head. I could see myself whining to my friend about how sleep deprived I was feeling . . . and I could see Lucky sitting right there with us, listening to me whine about it. I felt so bad.
I realized she was doing everything she could to help me get more sleep, regardless of how uncomfortable she was. I apologized to her, explained that I would do anything for her and that I would always be there to help her in any way she needed. I told her that I didn't mean to make her feel bad when she overheard me talking the week before, explaining that I was just feeling run down that day. I assured her that her comfort was of the utmost importance to me and that I didn't ever want her to feel bad about waking me up. I asked her to please let me help her when she needed the help. I told her that while I was very touched that she was trying to help ME, I asked her to not take responsibility for the amount of sleep I got. I told her I would be responsible for that.
That night, I woke to the sound of her struggling to change positions. I leaned over the side of the bed and she looked at me for a minute . . . I reminded her that I was more than happy to help her and then she allowed me to hang over the side of the bed and slip my arm under her torso to help her turn around. Since that night, she had allowed me to help her, every time she wants to change positions. She isn't laying back down and pretending she wasn't really trying to move, so I know our conversation was an important one. Her back has been less tight, so I'm getting to sleep two hours at a time most nights, sometimes even for three solid hours.
It was an important reminder for me. I know she hears everything I say, so I need to make sure I am not saying anything that will make her worry. I know I need to make sure that what I say to her is consistent with what I say to other people. She is hearing it all and taking it all in.
And she isn't the only one. All of our animals are listening to us and hearing what we say, so I encourage you to pay more attention to what you say when your animals are present.
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