A Gift Idea For The Holidays

Last year, I shared a post about my book possibly being a great option for people on your holiday shopping list. Since it is that time of year again, I am refreshing the blog and posting it again (with new links, additional reviews, etc. Plus it is also now available as an ebook).

It seems like the perfect time to put out a plug for my book - Lucky For Me, A Journey of Healing and Self-discovery. Given that many folks are doing their holiday shopping right now, this might be the ideal present for folks on your list (Or even a nice gift to yourself)  :-) 

Is there anyone on your list who is:

- A huge animal lover?

- Adopted a dog that was abused or has some emotional issues?

- Wanting to learn more about the deep connection that is possible with animals?

- On a healing path of their own (physical or emotional)?

- Wanting to find themselves and discover who they truly are? Or what their purpose is?

- Looking for ways to love and accept themselves more fully?

- Wanting to better understand themselves and their innate gifts?

- Deeply sensitive and struggling with their sensitivity from time to time?

If so, Lucky For Me could be the perfect gift for them this holiday season. 

Where To Purchase the book:

The book is available two ways - in paperback (via the publisher) and as an ebook (via Amazon)

Here is a link to the publisher, if you would like to purchase a paperback copy of my book:

https://riversanctuarypublishing.com/shop/lucky-for-me/

Here is a link to Amazon, if you would like to purchase the ebook:

 Buy e-book edition

Book Summary:

From the time Maureen was a little girl, all she wanted was a German shepherd. Then one day she is inexplicably drawn to a news story about a shepherd puppy that had been used in a dog-fighting ring and then heartlessly discarded in a dumpster. Was this the German shepherd she was meant to have? An adoption lottery could answer that and change her life in unimaginable ways.

Lucky For Me takes us deep into the lives of Lucky, the severely abused German shepherd and Maureen, her adopter. Assuming the role of rescuer, Maureen set out on what felt like an insurmountable mission to help Lucky heal from her physical and emotional wounds. Along the way she was catapulted into her own healing journey. Will Lucky and Maureen be able to overcome the obstacles that life has dealt them?

Maureen gives us an honest and introspective look at their quest to regain their confidence and find their way back to whom they are meant to be. As they endeavor to accept, heal and free themselves from the past, Maureen realizes how disconnected she has been from her true self.

While attempting to answer the question “Who am I?” pieces of the puzzle begin to reveal themselves in synchronistic and magical ways. Discovering the hidden gifts in her extreme sensitivity and empathic nature, Maureen’s bond with Lucky grows even stronger and more powerful. As the process of self-discovery unfolds, a new way of life emerges—one that finally feels like home.

Lucky for Me is a true story about second chances and new beginnings. It follows Lucky and Maureen as they navigate the ups and downs of the somewhat rocky terrain, which eventually leads them to self-acceptance and self-love. Ultimately, their inspiring adventure shows us what is possible with love, courage, forgiveness, and trust.

Reviews:

To give you a better idea of the content, from the perspective of other readers, and to help you decide who on your list might really enjoy this book as a holiday gift, below you will find some reviews of my book:

Wow. All I can say is wow! I finished Lucky For Me (by Maureen Burkley) on the plane a few weeks ago. The most PERFECT ALIGNMENT OF TIMING is indescribable. I don’t remember when I got the book and started reading it, I’m a slow reader lately and I read in small chunks and then I pick it up again, but I feel like each time I picked it up, that each part I read served me so perfectly during that particular time.

Since we never had a dog, I have learned so much about dogs from this book. But the most interesting part, the book also made me think a lot about life…

As I got to the end, reading about Lucky’s last year, last few months, down to last hours AND after her transitioning …….. I can’t even describe how meaningful it was for me – and things I felt for Maureen and Lucky and for MYSELF at the same time, interwoven together.

With each part of the book I read, it was like being there and being here and having a NEW understanding for the criss-cross points. I was able to begin to feel what Maureen felt AND see how those things connect to things unfolding in my own life right now.

I was able to understand Maureen’s decisions points, where they come from, and marvel at their relationship, at the end, not only had Lucky taught her and us so much, but ….compassion…. wow, compassion!! The place where compassion comes from!! Our wisdom. Our intuition. And the light and joy and peace that come with it.

I feel so much reverence for Maureen and Lucky. I thank her and Lucky both for how I was able to take what I was reading and connect it to my own life, my own journey in such a powerful way. Lucky is still teaching!!! Your pets are still teachers even after they are gone.

Zhanna Kozar

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I just finished reading Lucky for Me by Maureen Burkley. It’s not often that I find a book I can’t put down. From start to finish, the author’s candor and vulnerability are truly remarkable. I was drawn into her world in a way that made me feel as if I were right there alongside her and Lucky.

Burkley’s writing style captures her journey with Lucky, a dog who endured a tragic early life. As the story unfolds, the author discovers that many of the challenges in her own life intersect the hardships she is so lovingly working to heal in Lucky’s, leading to lessons that are deeply intertwined. The book goes beyond the surface of a simple rescue/feel good story, revealing a bond that transforms into a profound friendship full of love, patience and mutual teaching.

What struck me most is the spiritual lesson woven throughout the narrative, a subtle yet powerful message that some readers may miss amidst the ups and downs of life portrayed in the book. I won’t spoil the “aha!” moment for future readers, but I can assure you this story is beautiful and inspiring. One that could easily be read again.

I highly recommend Lucky for Me to anyone looking for a heartfelt and thought-provoking read. It’s a book I’m eager to share with friends, and I’m sure it will resonate with many.

Forrest Cambell

**********************

Like the boy on an expedition who seeks wisdom by attending to omens in The Alchemist, author Maureen Burkley listens intently to signs she receives from Lucky, her adopted German Shepherd. What she learns couldn’t help but propel her on a quest for personal healing and self-discovery. 

Searching to understand the root causes of Lucky’s illnesses, Maureen gingerly and lovingly assists her companion in overcoming deep-seated traumas. Through the unraveling of Lucky’s knotted wounds, Maureen shows us how we can be alchemists of our own pain and transform whatever shackles us from being our best selves. 

Lucky For Me is an intimate portrait of two friends who discover when one of us evolves, everything around us evolves. The hard-earned lessons Maureen imparts throughout her story are poignant and timely, told with extraordinary honesty and regard for the reader. This is not only a must-read for animal lovers, but for anyone who could use a reminder of the preciousness of every life.

Paula Francis – author “Ten Pair Of Shoes”

******************

Maureen Burkley has written a book that any dog lover will find engaging, instructive, and transformational. Her experiences gained from adopting an abused and traumatized puppy greatly illuminate the canine/human relationship. And in doing so, illustrates the profound connection and exchange of learning that is possible between a person and any living creature. 

Maureen’s journey with her German Shepherd, Lucky shows how approaching a challenging task with self-awareness and openness leads to profound discovery and healing growth. The story presents a lesson in compassion while revealing insights and training methods that made me a more loving and responsible dog parent and gave me clues about my own mental-emotional patterns. As a specialist in Emotional Intelligence, I found the book to be a consistent primer threaded with behavioral practices and keys to personal awareness that span the spectrum of relationships. Curiosity, openness, and compassion open us to deeper connections and reveal new paths. And it’s just a great dog story!

Steve Whiteford – Applied Emotional Intelligence Consultant 

*****************

It has been a long time since I resonated with and was moved by a book. “Lucky For Me” resonated with me and I was definitely moved by it. As a longtime dog lover and parent, I truly believe that dogs have souls. It is truly a gift to have a special emotional connection with an animal. They save us and we save them. Thank you for saving Lucky and I am glad she was able to help save you as well.

K.C.

****************

Maureen's book is so inspiring and very interesting to read. She showed so much strength and perseverance during her special journey with Lucky. There is so much of her heart and determination to help Lucky with her challenges. You truly see the power of unconditional love.  The connections Maureen made to guide her were almost unbelievable or magical since many came in strange ways and at just the right time.  

So many stories in the book that I could relate to or felt the same way at times. While reading her book it triggered many of my own memories. My favorite stories were her many fun times with Lucky. Although Lucky had some struggles she never gave up either and actually help to guide Maureen on her path. Lucky brought so much joy to so many people of all ages.  They were such gifts to each other and also to so many people, myself included.

Maureen's book taught me several things that could help me in my life as well. 

L.B.

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A Video Podcast To Learn Even More:

For those of you who would like to listen to / watch a brief (35 min.) podcast about the book, I am also providing a link to the podcast that my friend Steve Whiteford and I did about Lucky For Me. 

Maureen's interview with Steve

When Someone Is Grieving a Loss

When I stumbled upon the information below, it was the perfect summary of my thoughts and feelings on the topic of speaking to someone who has suffered a big loss. Knowing so many people who are dealing with loss/grief and being in the midst of it myself, I thought others might find it helpful as well.

The truth is not everyone can handle another person's grief - there is no judgment there. It can be challenging for many reasons. Some people are just not comfortable with the emotions of grief. Some people want to avoid it because someone else's grief could trigger some of their own fully expressed grief. It can also be difficult to know what to say. For some it may feel like saying nothing is better than saying the wrong thing. Or offering a platitude is safer than trying to figure out what would be best for the person in grief. On top of that, sometimes we say things that seem like they will be helpful, and we do so with the best of intentions, yet the words end up not being as helpful as we hoped they would be. Basically, there are a whole list of reasons why it is difficult.

I found the information below to be a wonderful guide. My hope is that it might assist you the next time you encounter someone who has been hit with a huge loss. 

A guide for what you could say when someone you know has experienced a painful loss:

"Instead of saying, "I know what it feels like", let's say "I cannot imagine your heartbreak". 

Instead of saying, "You're strong, you'll get through this, let's say " You'll hurt, and I'll be here. 

Instead of saying, "You look like you're doing well, Let's say, "How are you holding up today?" 

Instead of saying, "Healing takes time", let's say "Healing has no timeline". 

Instead of saying, "Everything happens for a reason, let's say "This must feel so terribly senseless right now". 

And when there are no words to say at all, you don't need to try and find some. Love speaks in silences too." (Ullie Kaye Poetry)

Yes, Instead of assuming to know the depths of another's pain, let us acknowledge the unfathomable ache in their hearts with empathy. 

Instead of offering false reassurances of strength, let us stand by their side, acknowledging their hurt and offering our unwavering presence. 

Instead of glossing over the struggles with superficial observations, let us inquire about their well-being with genuine concern. 

Instead of imposing a timetable on healing, let us recognize its nonlinear nature, allowing space for its organic process. 

Instead of seeking explanations in empty platitudes, let us acknowledge the rawness of grief and the absence of sense. 

In moments of wordless despair, let love fill the void with its quiet, comforting presence. 

(btw: the post did not list the author. The first half has cited the source, but not the second half so if anyone knows who wrote it, please let me know as I would love to give them credit. 

Lucky For Me - Second Edition Available Now!

 A few months ago, I received an incredibly powerful piece of feed back from someone after they finished reading my book. They wrote: "Your book is kinda like the boulder that gets dropped in the lake - exponentially magnifying Lucky's impact and a testament to you and your growth. I'm very grateful for your story, for you sharing it with the world and that I got to read it." My heart was deeply touched by the comment and it inspired me to move forward more quickly with the revisions of my book.

This week was the 15 year anniversary of Lucky's transition, so it seemed as if the timing was perfect for the Second Edition of Lucky For Me to come out. In case you were wondering what has changed from the first edition to the second edition, the changes were mostly addressing those pesky typos and punctuation errors that snuck through into the first edition. 

Truth be told, I also became aware that I have a tendency to reuse certain words - over and over again - LOL - so in the revised version, I was able to use my thesaurus to add some more variety to a few specific word choices.  :-)

For those of you who were afraid to share my book with friends and family who are teachers, those who work in editing jobs or those who just have a knack for those kinds of details - for fear of giving them a headache - I am happy to say with a higher degree of confidence that you should be able to share my book with them now. :-) 

I also added a few pages to honor my sweet boy Kino who passed away this summer. It didn't feel right to leave him out since he was such a big support to me while I was getting the book edited and published a few years ago. 

Here is a link to purchase the paperback version of the Second Edition: CLICK HERE TO BUY PRINT BOOK

In addition to that, I have decided to make an Ebook available via Amazon. I was previously resistant because I personally prefer a hand held copy of a book :-) but I have come to learn that a lot of people prefer to read books on their kindles so I decided it was time to broaden my scope. It should be up and available next week on Amazon. UPDATE: The Ebook is now available and can be purchased here: Buy e-book edition

Circling back to it being the 15 year anniversary of Lucky's transition on the 15th of October, she was definitely letting me know she was around. I'm not sure if I have ever had so many "visitors" in the yard in one day. 

From the squirrels (and especially the bold little squirrel who came up to the back door a few times and bopped the glass with his nose to let me know he would like some nuts), to the crows that walked around the yard and then sat on the fence to watch over me while I was outside, to a feral cat who come by to see what all the excitement was about and hung out for a while. 

It felt really nice to be surrounded by all of them and I could feel in my heart that they were all messengers from Lucky (and Kino too) letting me know that they knew the importance this particular date held for me and they were sharing it with me. 

I felt even more sure of that the next day, when not a single visitor came by. Definite confirmation that something lovely and magical was happening here on October 15th. 

I hope those of you who haven't read my book yet will enjoy the new and improved version. And that those of you who have read it will feel even more comfortable sharing it with others or buying copies as gifts. And finally, I hope that those of you who prefer Ebooks will be even more inspired to check out my book.

Happy reading everyone!! 

ps: For anyone who would like to see a description of the book and don't want to deal with extra clicks to look at the publisher's website, here is a picture of the book summary on the back cover: 

You can also find this book summary at: https://riversanctuarypublishing.com/shop/lucky-for-me/

Kino's First Nickname

 When Kino came to live with me as my "foster dog" - the first nickname he got was "Mr. Puppy." He earned his nickname when I realized that while he may have LOOKED like an adult dog at 90 pounds, everything else about him was pure puppy. 

My guess was that he was never allowed inside his previous home because he didn't know the first thing about being inside a house. Consequently, we had to start with the basics . . . potty training, simple commands (sit, down, stay), etc.  I also had to help him get comfortable with all the things he would encounter while living indoors.

He had obviously never encountered a mirror before because he would routinely go into the half-bath where the mirror came down to sink level. Standing with his chin resting on the sink counter, he would whimper (or bark) at the sight of another German shepherd in the house.  LOL  He didn't know how to go up and down stairs and he hadn't yet learned that counter-surfing was a no-no. He didn't get on the furniture, even when invited up. It was as if every single thing inside a house was a "first" for him.

I also described him as a 90 pound feral cat because he reacted much the same as a feral might when you attempted to touch him (which made grooming impossible, as well as cleaning his ears which were a necessity because he came out of the shelter with a horrendous ear infection). His reaction to everything was to try to bite you. Since he was pretty much an "adult dog" with "adult teeth" it wasn't quite like dealing with a puppy. He could do some serious damage with those big strong teeth of his. He didn't know how to take a treat from your hand without somehow biting your fingers/hand. 

Then there was the odd mixture of him not wanting to be touched yet also not wanting to let me out of his sight. He was literally on my heels and/or standing on top of my feet every time I moved. I can still remember how much my feet hurt that first month from constantly having him step on the tops of my feet. I had to stop wearing flip-flops inside the house because he put his foot inside my shoe each time I took a step. Since my foot wasn't moving with the rest of my body, I was lurched forward giving me a constant neck ache and throwing my back out of alignment. 

If I needed to go to the bathroom, he would follow me in there and then attempt to play tug of war with my underwear, WHILE they were still on my body. When I changed the sheets, he also thought it was an invitation to play tug of war with each sheet / blanket as I attempted to put them on the bed. 

It was all "puppy" but so much more challenging with his size and his high level of strength. In an attempted to be humored by these behaviors rather than irritated by them, I used his nickname more often than his real name. He was and will always be my "Mr. Puppy." 

Waking Up

I had to use an alarm to get up earlier this week, which brought up another round of grief for me. Since Kino and I had a special "arrangement" for the days I needed to use an alarm and this was the first time I had to do that without his assistance, I had to process another aspect of his absence.

Because of my sensitivity to energy, I don't have electronics in my bedroom and because of my sensitive nervous system, I try to avoid being woken up by any kind of jarring noise. Given all of that Kino and I partnered on how to wake me up when it was necessary for me to get up early.

For all these years, this is how it worked: I set the alarm on my phone (with a song instead of a beep) and then I'd leave the phone in the kitchen (which was the opposite end of the house from the bedroom). 

When the alarm went off, Kino heard it, not me. LOL What I WOULD hear was the pitter patter of his feet as he excitedly ran up and down the hall, followed by him licking my face. It was the sweetest way to wake up . . . so I wasn't looking forward to having to do it without him this morning.

When I set the alarm the night before (with a little bit of dread), I decided to plug the phone in closer to my bedroom so I was more likely to hear it. Fortunately, I WAS able to hear the music at my "wake up time" and much to my delight the song that played was Crystal Blue Persuasion. So instead of focusing on Kino's absence and having another wave of grief come through, I got to hear these lyrics instead (I think he had a hand/paw in this):

Look over yonder

What do you see?

The sun is a-rising

Most definitely

A new day is coming (ooh, ooh)

People are changing

Ain't it beautiful? (Ooh, ooh)

Crystal blue persuasion

Better get ready to see the light

Love, love is the answer (ooh, ooh)

And that's all right

So don't you give up now (ooh, ooh)

So easy to find

Just look to your soul (your soul)

And open your mind

Crystal blue persuasion, hmm, hmm

It's a new vibration

Crystal blue persuasion

Crystal

Blue persuasion

Middle Names

As those of you who have read my book know, Lucky got a middle name at the insistence of the precious kids we played with at the park all the time. (They even came up with a list of "suitable" possibilities for me to choose from.)  It was the first time I had ever given a pet a middle name but I rather liked finally being able to answer the question "What is Lucky's middle name?" - which I think every child we ever met asked me. haha

The funny thing is that it didn't dawn on me for years (after she officially became "Lucky Rose") that my great-grandmother on my mother's side was named Rose and my dad's sister in law was also named Rose. And my mom was known around the neighborhood as "The Rose Lady" because of her extensive rose garden . . . none of which the kids at the park knew. (Filed in the "Things that make you go Hmmm" folder)  

So, when I gave up my title as "foster mom" with Kino and officially became his adoptive mom, I knew right away that I would need to find just the right middle name for him.  

I didn't pick the name Kino - it was the name that was written on the paperwork when he was surrendered to the shelter. Since he already seemed to know his name I never considered changing it. I didn't know the origins of his name at the time but it reminded me of a couple boys I knew when I was younger named Kimo and they were both Hawaiian so I thought maybe we could find a Hawaiian middle name for him. 

I remember so vividly having Kino at my feet that day as I sat at the dining table with my laptop. After explaining that I wanted him to help me select his middle name, I pulled up a website of Hawaiian names and began reading them out loud. I read each possibility following his name so he could hear how they sounded together, in case that helped him make a choice.

After what felt like hours (but was probably more like 10 minutes - LOL), Kino still hadn't shown an indication that he liked any of the options. I wondered if maybe he didn't understand what we were doing so I explained once again that I wanted him to help me choose his middle name. About 5 minutes later, I said "Kino Kealohalani" and his head popped up, followed by extremely strong eye contact with me. I said, "Is that the one you like?" 

Wanting to be sure, I continued to read some other options from the list of Hawaiian names. Eventually I circled back to "Kino Kealohalani" and once again, boom!  He looked right at me and held his stare. I took that as confirmation that he had indeed just made his selection.

After looking into the name further, I learned that the name means "The brightness of heaven" or "The love from heaven." It is hard to describe the feeling I had when I saw the meaning of the name . . . it was like a confirmation that he was brought into my life for a reason and that I had made the right choice to become a "foster failure" and keep him. (Even though my choice to adopt him was less about falling in love with him and more about worrying he would be put down if he didn't have a super conscientious adopter because Kino had some aggression issues that if not properly managed could get him in a lot of trouble). 

Nonetheless, I DID end up falling in love with him and even though it was extra work over the years to make sure he was never in a situation where he could bite someone, I never regretted the choice I made. A big part of that was the meaning of his middle name, which many times over the years gave me goosebumps just thinking about it. He showed me countless times and in countless ways that he was my "Brightness and Love from heaven." 

The funny thing is, I didn't find out until later that it is typically a name for a girl but who was I to question Kino's choice.  :-)  I am sure he had a good reason for it. Years after that, while chatting with someone from Germany, I learned that Kino is actually the short form of "cinematography" (in German). It gave me quite a chuckle that his name was German not Hawaiian, yet it also feels divinely orchestrated that I didn't know any of that the day we chose his middle name. 

While Kino and I had a very different relationship than Lucky and I did, our connection and bond were just as strong. The significance of the things he came to teach me were just as important. The love we shared was just as powerful. I told him every night when we were getting ready for bed that he was my best friend in the whole world and I meant it with all of my heart every time I said it.

One of the many things he taught me was to love him (and myself) for who we WERE - not who we wished we could be or hoped we would be - to just fully embrace the idea that we deserved to be loved for exactly who we were. 

He also taught me about the importance of having JOY in my life. He made it his mission to bring me joy every day (his goofy antics could fill a book!) and I found myself constantly looking for ways to bring HIM joy as well. Even though our years together came with a long list of challenges, he never stopped finding ways to make me laugh. He was most definitely my little "Joy-Bringer."

My dear Kino Kealohalani, my brightness and love from heaven - I hope you know how much I love you and miss you! 

Kino Kealohalani Burkley - 7/13/2012 - 7/16/2024

My precious Kino made his transition on July 16, 2024.  It was 3 days after his 12th birthday. 

Currently, my feelings are too raw and I find it nearly impossible to write a post that truly honors my sweet boy. I will add to this post when I am able to. 

For now, I just wanted to share the news, as I know a lot of you know we have been trying to heal his cancer since last August. About 5 years ago, we were able to do it - this time we just couldn't - no matter how much we tried.

I am grateful for all the years I had with Kino. I learned so much from him and he completely won my heart over. Regardless of how rocky our start was, it was so worth it to have him as my partner in life.

I miss him more than I can express right now. Please hold us both in your hearts if you feel so inspired.