A Special Anniversary

Today is a very special "anniversary."  It was 30 years ago today that I "won" Lucky in an adoption lottery. It was a day that forever changed the course of my life - a day that sent me on a path of healing and growth I didn't even know I needed to be on. 

I had to do the "math" several times to make sure it was really 30 years ago because I couldn't quite wrap my brain around the fact that it had been so many years. The January 12th part was never in question - just the year.  :-) 

Here is some of the magic I am embracing today: If I hadn't won Lucky in that adoption lottery that day, I wouldn't be who I am today. I also wouldn't have written "Lucky For Me" because there wouldn't have been that story to tell. So with the focus on celebration - I thought I'd share information about our book once again with a few excerpts from a blog I wrote a while back.

Our story still astounds me in many ways . . . I know that 30 years ago today, I was the one who was truly LUCKY, in ways that I had no concept of at the time. What a remarkable milestone indeed!  

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A while back, I received an incredibly powerful piece of feed back from someone after they finished reading my book. They wrote: "Your book is kinda like the boulder that gets dropped in the lake - exponentially magnifying Lucky's impact and a testament to you and your growth. I'm very grateful for your story, for you sharing it with the world and that I got to read it." My heart was deeply touched by his words. 

I wrote the book in the hopes that it might inspire and support others. His comment was like a big thumbs up . . . encouraging me to keep believing in myself and the story that unfolded during the years that Lucky and I were together.

For those of you who are interested in learning more, here is a summary of our book:

From the time Maureen was a little girl, all she wanted was a German shepherd. Then one day she is inexplicably drawn to a news story about a shepherd puppy that had been used in a dog-fighting ring and then heartlessly discarded in a dumpster. Was this the German shepherd she was meant to have? An adoption lottery could answer that and change her life in unimaginable ways.

Lucky For Me takes us deep into the lives of Lucky, the severely abused German shepherd and Maureen, her adopter. Assuming the role of rescuer, Maureen set out on what felt like an insurmountable mission to help Lucky heal from her physical and emotional wounds. Along the way she was catapulted into her own healing journey. Will Lucky and Maureen be able to overcome the obstacles that life has dealt them?

Maureen gives us an honest and introspective look at their quest to regain their confidence and find their way back to whom they are meant to be. As they endeavor to accept, heal and free themselves from the past, Maureen realizes how disconnected she has been from her true self.

While attempting to answer the question “Who am I?” pieces of the puzzle begin to reveal themselves in synchronistic and magical ways. Discovering the hidden gifts in her extreme sensitivity and empathic nature, Maureen’s bond with Lucky grows even stronger and more powerful. As the process of self-discovery unfolds, a new way of life emerges—one that finally feels like home.

Lucky for Me is a true story about second chances and new beginnings. It follows Lucky and Maureen as they navigate the ups and downs of the somewhat rocky terrain, which leads them to self-acceptance and self-love. Ultimately, their inspiring adventure shows us what is possible with love, courage, forgiveness, and trust.

Here is a link to purchase the paperback version: CLICK HERE TO BUY PRINT BOOK

If you would like to see how others have reacted and responded to the book, you can also read reviews on their site as well.

In addition to that, our book is also available as an Ebook via Amazon. I was previously resistant to doing an Ebook because I personally prefer a hand held copy of a book :-) but I have come to learn that a lot of people prefer to read books on their kindles so I decided to broaden my scope. You can even read the first few chapters of our book for free if you want to see if it is something you would enjoy.

The Ebook can be purchased here: Buy e-book edition

Happy reading everyone!! 

Our Pets Can Show Us OUR Fears

While it is common knowledge that animals pick up on how we feel, what some people may not realize is that animals can even pick up on the un-communicated feelings that we have. They are also able to tell when our words don't match the way we truly feel (even if we don't realize it at the time).

It's why there are cases where a dog guardian is walking their dog and even though they are displaying confidence, their animal still picks up on the concern they feel about an approaching animal or person. When the dog reacts to that animal or person, the guardian's first reaction might be, "But I was talking in a happy voice and telling my dog not to be concerned, why did he react that way?" The truth is, it was because the dog was picking up on what their guardian was REALLY feeling.

It is something that Kino taught me. When he was losing his mind in fear over the sound of fireworks, no matter how many times I told him the sound couldn't hurt him and that he was safe, his fear level never diminished. He would even give me a look - a look that literally said "You are full of it mom, I don't believe a word you are saying." LOL  After years of going through this anguish with him, it finally clicked one day. *I* was afraid of the noise too. That was why he looked at me as if I was a liar. He could feel the disconnect between my words and what I was truly feeling - something that I wasn't even aware of at the time.

Over the years, I have had many experiences with my clients where their pet was picking up on feelings their guardian wasn't even aware they had, which had taught me that animals are far more adept at tapping into our deepest levels of energy, our deepest level of emotion than we probably realize . . . and it taught me that if we pay close attention, we will see how much our pets can help us. 

One client in particular owned a store and loved to bring her dog to work with her, but her dog would sometime bark and growl at the customers. Obviously, that wasn't good for business so she asked me if I could help. When I did a session with the dog, I felt the dog was tapping into a fear that the guardian held deep inside her, and that was why she reacted the way she did with certain customers. It didn't resonate with the client at the time, so I didn't push it. 

A few weeks later, the guardian called me and was very excited. She said she had just remembered something, from about twenty or more years ago . . . at that time, she was working in her mom's store, and they were robbed at gunpoint. She hadn't thought about it in decades and had forgotten it had even happened, but when the memory popped back into her mind, she realized that must have been what her dog was picking up on. 

I asked her if she held any fear that it could happen again and she wasn't sure. We decided to do an energy healing session with her and see if we could help her body let go of that old memory. During the session, she realized that she DID still hold a fear that it could happen again, in part because she still felt responsible for not being able to stop the robbers. We worked on letting go of the disappointment and shame she was holding onto so that she could feel empowered again. At the end of the session, she said she felt much lighter and more at peace with what had happened all those years ago.

Since then, her dog has happily been joining her at her store every day and no longer barks and growls at certain customers. She now believes that if her dog ever DOES bark or growl, it will be because there really is a person in the store she should be concerned about, not because of an old fear that she held deep inside her. She was grateful to her dog, for helping her see that there was something from the past that she needed to free herself of. 

It is worth considering . . . if your pet is behaving in a way that concerns you . . . they might be reacting to a feeling you have, that you aren't even being holding on a conscious level. And maybe it is one of the ways your pet has shown up in your life to assist you. Something to ponder anyway . . . 

"Every pet you have is a once-in-a-lifetime pet. It doesn't matter how many you've had. Each one changes you, heals you, owns a piece of you." Author Unknown

A Great Gift Idea

Are you looking for the perfect holiday gift for friends and / or family? While people are finishing up (or just starting) their holiday shopping, I thought it would be a great time to put out my annual gift "recommendation" :-)  

Lucky For Me (A Journey of Healing and Self-discovery) could be the ideal present for the book lovers and animal lovers on your list (Or even a nice gift to yourself!) 

Is there anyone on your list who is:

- A huge animal lover?

- Adopted a dog that was abused or has some emotional issues?

- Wanting to learn more about the deep connection that is possible with animals?

- On a healing path of their own (physical or emotional)?

- Wanting to find themselves and discover who they truly are? Or what their purpose is?

- Looking for ways to love and accept themselves more fully?

- Deeply sensitive and struggling with their sensitivity from time to time?

If so, Lucky For Me could be the perfect gift for them this holiday season. 

Book Summary:

From the time Maureen was a little girl, all she wanted was a German shepherd. Then one day she is inexplicably drawn to a news story about a shepherd puppy that had been used in a dog-fighting ring and then heartlessly discarded in a dumpster. Was this the German shepherd she was meant to have? An adoption lottery could answer that and change her life in unimaginable ways.

Lucky For Me takes us deep into the lives of Lucky, the severely abused German shepherd and Maureen, her adopter. Assuming the role of rescuer, Maureen set out on what felt like an insurmountable mission to help Lucky heal from her physical and emotional wounds. Along the way she was catapulted into her own healing journey. Will Lucky and Maureen be able to overcome the obstacles that life has dealt them?

Maureen gives us an honest and introspective look at their quest to regain their confidence and find their way back to whom they are meant to be. As they endeavor to accept, heal and free themselves from the past, Maureen realizes how disconnected she has been from her true self.

While attempting to answer the question “Who am I?” pieces of the puzzle begin to reveal themselves in synchronistic and magical ways. Discovering the hidden gifts in her extreme sensitivity and empathic nature, Maureen’s bond with Lucky grows even stronger and more powerful. As the process of self-discovery unfolds, a new way of life emerges—one that finally feels like home.

Lucky for Me is a true story about second chances and new beginnings. It follows Lucky and Maureen as they navigate the ups and downs of the somewhat rocky terrain, which eventually leads them to self-acceptance and self-love. Ultimately, their inspiring adventure shows us what is possible with love, courage, forgiveness, and trust.

Below you will find links to purchase my book:

The book is available two ways - in paperback (via the publisher) and as an ebook (via Amazon)

Here is a link to the publisher, if you would like to purchase a paperback copy of my book:

https://riversanctuarypublishing.com/shop/lucky-for-me/

Here is a link to Amazon, if you would like to purchase the ebook:

 Buy e-book edition

If you are still unsure if Lucky For Me - A Journey of Healing and Self-Discovery is the right fit for people on your shopping list, maybe hearing from people who read my book will help you decide. Below you will find some recommendations that were written about Lucky For Me. Additionally, for those who are interested in hearing even more about it, I have included a link to a video podcast that a friend and I did about my book.

Reviews:

I just finished reading Lucky for Me by Maureen Burkley. It’s not often that I find a book I can’t put down. From start to finish, the author’s candor and vulnerability are truly remarkable. I was drawn into her world in a way that made me feel as if I were right there alongside her and Lucky.

Burkley’s writing style captures her journey with Lucky, a dog who endured a tragic early life. As the story unfolds, the author discovers that many of the challenges in her own life intersect the hardships she is so lovingly working to heal in Lucky’s, leading to lessons that are deeply intertwined. The book goes beyond the surface of a simple rescue/feel good story, revealing a bond that transforms into a profound friendship full of love, patience and mutual teaching.

What struck me most is the spiritual lesson woven throughout the narrative, a subtle yet powerful message that some readers may miss amidst the ups and downs of life portrayed in the book. I won’t spoil the “aha!” moment for future readers, but I can assure you this story is beautiful and inspiring. One that could easily be read again.

I highly recommend Lucky for Me to anyone looking for a heartfelt and thought-provoking read. It’s a book I’m eager to share with friends, and I’m sure it will resonate with many.

Forrest Cambell

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Lucky For Me is a heartwarming and insightful read that I couldn’t put down. It’s beautifully written and incredibly easy to follow.

Through Maureen’s journey with her pup, Lucky, I gained a deeper awareness of the subtle cues in my own animals’ behavior and the importance of truly observing our surroundings. While the story centers on her dog, Lucky, the lessons and reflections shared throughout are universal—applicable to animals of all kinds, including horses and donkeys!

I happened to read Lucky For Me just before bringing home one of my own dogs, who turned out to be a very sensitive soul. The timing couldn’t have been better. This book gave me tools, reassurance, and even a few “aha!” moments—not just about animals, but about myself as well.

I’ll be recommending this book to everyone. Whether you’re going through a transition, deepening your bond with your animals, or simply looking for a meaningful and uplifting read, Lucky For Me is a true gem.

Andrea Koch

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This seemed like it was going to be a simple Happy Ending story, but it was so much more involved than that. It has such a heart wrenching start concerning what to most would be a hidden aspect to our society’s involvement with pets and the way people treat them.

With the author’s commitment to Lucky’s wellbeing, and her constant care and searching for answers to the many unknowns on how to make Lucky feel cared for and loved again, it turns into a heart warming story that will touch every reader. The All-In attitude of the author and the care she provides without compromise will have the reader reflecting on their own life and choices they have made.

It is endearing to see how the author took a very difficult situation and not only made the best of it, but touched the lives of so many others in a positive way along the way. Maureen not only found security and happiness for Lucky but found out ‘who she is’ along the way; something we all tend to search for while we navigate our way through life. I tend to not think of life as a journey, but more of an endless series of challenges that we have to deal with to become who we are going to be. The author bares her soul as she describes dealing with those challenges for both Lucky and herself. You feel both for Maureen and Lucky throughout this tale and are pulling for them at every turn. Luckily, happiness is everybody’s reward in the end.

I can’t help but think that anyone who reads this heart warming story will be changed by what the author was able to accomplish, with limited means, by the dint of her own personal convictions.

Matthew, Silicon Valley, CA

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Lucky for Me is a beautiful story of healing, love, and the bond between Maureen and her dog, Lucky. I was lucky enough to spend time with them during swim therapy. Even though Lucky had trouble walking, she came alive in the water—joyful, free, and full of spirit.

That experience completely changed how I see quality of life in senior dogs. My family used to believe it was time to say goodbye when mobility was lost, but Lucky showed me how much life and happiness is still possible.

Thanks to Maureen and Lucky, I was able to share a deeper connection with my own dog, Leo, until he transitioned peacefully on his own. This book—and the time I shared with them—will stay with me forever.

Karen, Milpitas, CA

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A wonderful story about a loving bond between Maureen and Lucky and their ability to learn from and heal each other.

Mary Ellen, Monterey, Ca

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“Lucky for Me”
May 2025

I recently lost “FLB” (favorite little boy)! He was actually my neighbor’s 16 year old, 5lb cockapoo. But his 2nd home was with me as his “part-time nanny,” especially during the last several years of his decline, I would hear his cries over the fence and go to comfort him.

So, I felt compelled to reread “Lucky for Me” and it had the same impact on me as the first time – 3 years ago. I was inspired, in awe, laughed and cried all at the same time!

We were fortunate to know Maureen and Lucky. We knew their backstory so when we saw them walking in the neighborhood, we would stop, check in and get updates on their progress. We knew how dedicated Maureen was to Lucky but her book truly reflected their day-to-day struggles and the incredible bond they had! And it was only through her strength and perseverance did they successfully heal together.

Maureen also helped us when our Natalie, 12 yr old Aussie was declining and with Shasta, an adult Aussie mix, who unfortunately was an unsuccessful rescue after 9 months. We saw firsthand – her connections with animals.

Through Maureen’s courageous writing of her journey with Lucky, we were uplifted, reassured about moving forward and in believing in yourself and your heart. “What happened in the past does not make your future.” But most importantly . . . the power of loving animals.

Anne Y

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Wow. All I can say is wow! I finished Lucky For Me (by Maureen Burkley) on the plane a few weeks ago. The most PERFECT ALIGNMENT OF TIMING is indescribable. I don’t remember when I got the book and started reading it, I’m a slow reader lately and I read in small chunks and then I pick it up again, but I feel like each time I picked it up, that each part I read served me so perfectly during that particular time.

Since we never had a dog, I have learned so much about dogs from this book. But the most interesting part, the book also made me think a lot about life…

As I got to the end, reading about Lucky’s last year, last few months, down to last hours AND after her transitioning …….. I can’t even describe how meaningful it was for me – and things I felt for Maureen and Lucky and for MYSELF at the same time, interwoven together.

With each part of the book I read, it was like being there and being here and having a NEW understanding for the criss-cross points. I was able to begin to feel what Maureen felt AND see how those things connect to things unfolding in my own life right now.

I was able to understand Maureen’s decisions points, where they come from, and marvel at their relationship, at the end, not only had Lucky taught her and us so much, but ….compassion…. wow, compassion!! The place where compassion comes from!! Our wisdom. Our intuition. And the light and joy and peace that come with it.

I feel so much reverence for Maureen and Lucky. I thank her and Lucky both for how I was able to take what I was reading and connect it to my own life, my own journey in such a powerful way. Lucky is still teaching!!! Your pets are still teachers even after they are gone.

Zhanna Kozar

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Like the boy on an expedition who seeks wisdom by attending to omens in The Alchemist, author Maureen Burkley listens intently to signs she receives from Lucky, her adopted German Shepherd. What she learns couldn’t help but propel her on a quest for personal healing and self-discovery. 

Searching to understand the root causes of Lucky’s illnesses, Maureen gingerly and lovingly assists her companion in overcoming deep-seated traumas. Through the unraveling of Lucky’s knotted wounds, Maureen shows us how we can be alchemists of our own pain and transform whatever shackles us from being our best selves. 

Lucky For Me is an intimate portrait of two friends who discover when one of us evolves, everything around us evolves. The hard-earned lessons Maureen imparts throughout her story are poignant and timely, told with extraordinary honesty and regard for the reader. This is not only a must-read for animal lovers, but for anyone who could use a reminder of the preciousness of every life.

Paula Francis – author “Ten Pair Of Shoes”

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Maureen Burkley has written a book that any dog lover will find engaging, instructive, and transformational. Her experiences gained from adopting an abused and traumatized puppy greatly illuminate the canine/human relationship. And in doing so, illustrates the profound connection and exchange of learning that is possible between a person and any living creature. 

Maureen’s journey with her German Shepherd, Lucky shows how approaching a challenging task with self-awareness and openness leads to profound discovery and healing growth. The story presents a lesson in compassion while revealing insights and training methods that made me a more loving and responsible dog parent and gave me clues about my own mental-emotional patterns. As a specialist in Emotional Intelligence, I found the book to be a consistent primer threaded with behavioral practices and keys to personal awareness that span the spectrum of relationships. Curiosity, openness, and compassion open us to deeper connections and reveal new paths. And it’s just a great dog story!

Steve Whiteford – Applied Emotional Intelligence Consultant 

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It has been a long time since I resonated with and was moved by a book. “Lucky For Me” resonated with me and I was definitely moved by it. As a longtime dog lover and parent, I truly believe that dogs have souls. It is truly a gift to have a special emotional connection with an animal. They save us and we save them. Thank you for saving Lucky and I am glad she was able to help save you as well.

K.C.

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Maureen's book is so inspiring and very interesting to read. She showed so much strength and perseverance during her special journey with Lucky. There is so much of her heart and determination to help Lucky with her challenges. You truly see the power of unconditional love.  The connections Maureen made to guide her were almost unbelievable or magical since many came in strange ways and at just the right time.  

So many stories in the book that I could relate to or felt the same way at times. While reading her book it triggered many of my own memories. My favorite stories were her many fun times with Lucky. Although Lucky had some struggles she never gave up either and actually help to guide Maureen on her path. Lucky brought so much joy to so many people of all ages.  They were such gifts to each other and also to so many people, myself included.

Maureen's book taught me several things that could help me in my life as well. 

L.B.

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A Video Podcast To Learn Even More:

For those of you who would like to listen to / watch a brief (35 min.) podcast about Lucky For Me, here is a link to the podcast that my friend Steve Whiteford and I did a few years ago about my book. 

Maureen's interview with Steve

Supporting Our Pets Through the Holidays

Here is a little PSA from your pets.  :-) 

The holiday season is a crazy time of year, not just for us but for our animals as well. For animals who live in our homes, it can be very confusing. WE know what's going on, but they don't always understand and it can make the holidays even more stressful for them. This is especially true for animals that are new to our home, but it still applies to animals who have been with us a while and have been through a few holidays seasons.

Many people talk about how their animals behave strangely during the holidays and most of the time, I believe it is because they don't understand what is going on. Their regular routine is changed up and they often feel ill at ease because of it.

What if a group of people unexpectedly showed up at your home and didn't bother to tell you how long they would be staying? Would that potentially put your nose out of joint? Especially if those people set up camp in your bedroom. There can be so much chaos going on around your pets that they become overwhelmed / overstimulated during much of the holiday season. 

If you think about it from their perspective, this is what they see:

- People coming and going, regular schedules and routines being different

- Packages being brought into the house, that they aren't supposed to touch

- Trees being dragged into the house that get a lot of our attention

- Lots of smells coming from the kitchen as we cook but don't necessarily share with them

- People coming over, sometimes spending the night, often displacing them from their usual hang out and sleeping spots

They often get yelled at or spoken to in a firm voice. We say things like:

- Get out of those packages, those aren't for you

- Get out of the tree, you are going to break the ornaments

- Stop drinking the water from the tree stand - you have a water bowl

- Don't you dare pee on that tree

- Go in the other room, Aunt Gertrude is allergic to dogs/cats

- You can't lay in the kitchen when I am cooking

All of it can be very confusing to them and they often don't end up enjoying the holiday season at all. I think the holidays could be much more enjoyable for everyone if we talked to our animals and explained what was going on. It would also be wonderful if we made some accommodations for them so that they can enjoy the holidays as well.

It is my belief that if we can communicate with them and manage their expectations, they can be a positive part of the celebrations, instead of adding another element of stress to it. 

Here are some holiday tips that might make the season "brighter" for your pets:

- If you are going to have a house full of people, let your animals know. Tell them . . . this many people are coming and this is how long they are staying. 

- If you want your animal to do anything different, please let them know. If your animal is going to have to sleep somewhere where they aren't used to sleeping, tell them that and explain why. Let them know how long this new arrangement will last and please make it as comfortable and inviting as possible for them. (A bed or comfortable blanket? Some special toys? Access to their food and water if appropriate?) 

- If your animal is used to having quiet time to rest in the house and you know that isn't going to be easy when you have a house full of people, tell them where they can go to be "alone" if that's what they need. Give them a specific room or place in the house they can go to if they need to "get away from it all." Again, make it as comfortable and inviting as possible for them. 

- Tell them you are bringing a tree into the house if that is part of your holiday routine and explain to them that it is for decoration. Let them know you are making sure it has water so they don't feel the need to water it themselves. :-) Explain to them that the things hanging on the tree or placed under the tree are not for them to play with or eat. Then make sure they know where the things are that they CAN play with and eat. 

- Set them up for success whenever possible. Think about things from their perspective. If your cat will have a difficult time resisting the urge to play with the ornaments, maybe you can avoid putting your most treasured ornaments where they can reach them? If any of the gifts under the tree are for your dogs  or cats and they have any kind of scent, maybe you can put them some place safe until it is time to open gifts. If their food and water are normally located in the kitchen but you don't want your pets under-foot when you are cooking, can you relocate their food and water to a place that is easy for them to access? If so, make sure they know where that location is. 

- Include them in the celebration in whatever way you can. Whether that is feeding them at the same time the rest of you are sitting down to eat so they feel they are participating in the celebratory meal too, or giving them something to unwrap when the rest of you are unwrapping your gifts. Let them know they are part of what is going on too. 

I believe the holidays can be happier for all of us - 2-legged and 4-legged alike, if we can set everyone's expectations for how things are going to be different for a few days or weeks. I bet  your animals will thank you - in their own special way!

How Our Pets Assist Us

After all these years, I continue to be in awe of the positive impact animals can have in our lives. I have always believed animals come into our lives to help us to learn and grow but each time I witness it, I am no less astounded by it, no less humbled by it.  

In my work with animals and their guardians, I continue to see evidence that our animals know what type of assistance we need . . . and then they give us the opportunities to learn and grow in those areas. 

Sometimes the lesson comes by an animal experiencing medical issues as a way for us to learn something that will help us in our own personal growth. My dog Lucky can be single-handedly (pawedly) credited with just about everything I learned about holistic medicine, alternative healing methods, the mind/body connection, etc. She is the reason I explored all those areas - not because she was able to say "Hey mom, check these things out!" I studied all those areas of healing because I was determined to help her recover from some deep emotional wounds that were showing up as medical and behavioral issues. Given all that I learned through our journey together - eventually it morphed into a new line of work for me - as an energy healer and an animal communicator. 

I have had clients who learned to give themselves permission to take time out to be still and stop "doing" all the time . . . a notion they were able to embrace after they realized their animal wasn't healing from an injury or recovering from a surgery because their animal couldn't stay still either. 

There was another client who didn't believe in herself or have much confidence . . .  she ending up adopting a horse that had confidence issues. Through the implementation of various training methods and fun/learning activities, she managed to help him develop a lot more confidence in himself. It was after she accomplished that it was easier for her to see the ways she wasn't very confident either. Fortunately, she wasn't deterred because she already had worked with her horse on gaining confidence so the path was more clear regarding the steps she could take to empower herself more.

Sometimes, the guardian may not be very good at setting boundaries and they end up adopting a pet that pushes the limits a LOT. The animal will act like they need clear boundaries that are consistently monitored. Once the guardian has "practiced" setting and maintain boundaries with their pet and experienced positive results, it is far easier for them to set boundaries with the people in their lives.

Sometimes that opportunity arrives in what appears to be a "behavioral issue" with the animal. They are even willing to look like the "bad guy" for a while, for the sole purpose of helping us learn something or seeing something in ourselves. As an example, my own boy Kino had an issue of barking at dogs, people and anything else that moved when we were out in the car. It unnerved me to the point of not wanting to take him out in the car (which was one of his most favorite activities) because nothing I did training wise was making a difference in the behavior. Then one day it dawned on me . . . he was just showing me how I acted in the car. I didn't behave very well either.  LOL! I was easily frustrated by other drivers and could be quite vocal about my feelings (whether it was cars not using their turn signals, cars riding on my bumper or cars making unsafe lane changes in front of me that forced me to slam on my brakes, etc). I vowed that day to behave better when I was out for a drive. The great news is that once I improved MY behavior while behind the wheel, Kino's behavior improved as well and our car rides became a lot more fun. While it may have been difficult while we were going through it, in the end both of us were much happier. 

Whenever a new client calls me about a problem they are having with their animal, the first thing that comes into my mind is "I wonder how the animal is trying to help their guardian grow." Since they are often trying to help us, I always stay open to that possibility.  

I think I will always be in awe of animals - for the selfless way they set out to help us be better versions of ourselves. Do you think your animal is trying to teach you something or show you something about yourself? What is the first thing that comes to mind that you've noticed about your pet? Do you see any way they might be mirroring things that could assist you as well? 

Gestures of Kindness and Compassion

I saw this short story today in a group called "Small Great Things" and couldn't stop my eyes from welling with tears. It is such a beautiful example of how every act of kindness makes a difference. It also shows us how one person's loving gesture can have such a tremendously positive impact and generate even more loving acts of generosity.

Furthermore, it also illustrates the possibility that people may WANT to make a difference but they often aren't sure how or they may feel their idea is "too small" to have an impact. It is my belief that no gesture of kindness is ever too small and taking action often inspires others to do something to support humanity as well.

IMHO - These are the kinds of things we need now more than ever. My questions for anyone reading this are: Can we look out for each other, provide help and support in whatever way we can? Is there something you could do today? This week? 

And can we do these things - not because we want to impress people or show them how great we are - but because our hearts know that this is something our world truly needs - especially right now. 

Here is the story: 

They call it “lunch shaming.” I call it cruelty. For 38 years, I watched it happen from my history classroom. Then, one Tuesday, I decided to become a quiet criminal.

My name is Arthur Harrison. For nearly four decades, my world has been cinder block walls, the smell of old books, and the drone of the 2:15 PM bell. I teach American History. I’ve lectured on the Great Depression, on bread lines and poverty, trying to make the black-and-white photos feel real to kids who live in a world of vibrant color and constant noise.

But the most brutal history lesson wasn’t in my textbook. It was in the cafeteria.

It was a Tuesday when I saw it happen to Marcus, a quiet sophomore who sat in the back of my third-period class. He was a good kid, drew incredible sketches of Civil War soldiers in his notebook margins. I saw him at the front of the lunch line. The cashier, a woman I’d known for twenty years, said something to him. I saw his shoulders slump. He was handed not a tray of hot food, but a cold cheese sandwich and a small milk carton—the “alternative meal.” The IOU. The badge of shame.

He walked past his friends, eyes glued to the floor, and sat at an empty table at the far end of the cafeteria. He didn’t eat. He just stared at the wall. In that moment, he wasn’t a student. He was a statistic. His family’s bank account balance was on public display, served between two slices of cheap bread.

Something inside me, a part of my soul worn thin by years of budget cuts and standardized tests, finally snapped.

The next day, I walked into the main office before school. Linda, the cafeteria manager, was there sorting receipts.

“Art,” she said, not looking up. “Don’t tell me the coffee machine is broken again.”

“It’s fine, Linda,” I said, sliding a folded fifty-dollar bill across the counter. “I want to start a fund. Anonymously. For the kids who come up short. When it happens, just… take it from this. No cheese sandwiches.”

She finally looked up, her eyes lingering on the money, then on my face. She didn’t say a word. She just gave a slow, deliberate nod and tucked the bill into her apron.

I started doing it every week. A fifty, sometimes a hundred if my pension check had a little extra. I called it the “Invisible Lunch Fund.” Linda never mentioned it, but sometimes I’d see her give a real hot meal to a kid I knew was struggling, and she’d catch my eye from across the room with that same quiet nod. It was our secret conspiracy of decency.

This went on for a year. It was my quiet rebellion.

Then, one afternoon, Sarah, the sharpest student in my AP History class, stayed after the bell.

“Mr. Harrison?” she started, twisting the strap of her backpack. “I have a question. It’s not about the homework.”

“Go ahead, Sarah.”

“I know about the lunch money,” she said, her voice barely a whisper. “My mom works in the school office. She sees Linda’s accounting. There’s a line item she just writes in as ‘Donation.’ I know it’s you.”

My heart hammered against my ribs. I was caught. I imagined disciplinary meetings, being told I’d broken some obscure district policy.

But Sarah wasn’t angry. Her eyes were shining. “We want to help,” she said.

The next Monday, a group of students from my AP class set up a bake sale in the main hall. The sign, hand-painted on poster board, read: “BAKE SALE FOR BENEDICT ARNOLDS. (Because betraying your friends by letting them go hungry is treason.)”

By lunchtime, they had a shoebox overflowing with crumpled bills and coins. They placed it on my desk without a word. Over four hundred dollars. The administration, to their credit, looked the other way.

I’m retiring this year. The Invisible Lunch Fund is now just “The Fund,” and it’s run entirely by the students. They’ve made it their own.

For 38 years, I tried to teach kids that history is shaped by big speeches and epic battles. I was wrong. History isn’t just about the noise. It’s about the quiet moments, the unspoken acts of grace. It’s written not in textbooks, but on a lunch receipt when one person decides that another human being will not be shamed for being hungry. That’s the America I want to believe in. That’s the lesson I finally learned.

Thank you Carol Sacks Goldstein for sharing..

Reacting Based on Half The Story (refresh from July 2020)

 Through most of my adult life, I had a very challenging relationship with my mother. I held firm to my belief that she didn't really care about me or my feelings and I viewed every action and every inaction through that filter.  

In my quest to heal the past, I discovered that my relationship with my mother began to unravel when I was in high school and sadly it could have been prevented if more honesty had been present.

It all started on a holiday weekend when my boyfriend came over with a couple dozen roses for me and not only would I not touch the roses, I would barely speak to him. My mother grabbed me by the arm, squeezing it so tightly her fingernails left deep impressions in my skin. Pulling me to the other side of the kitchen, she sternly told me that I was being an ungrateful little shit and that I'd better pull myself together and start acting the way I had been raised to act when someone gives me a gift. 

I remember feeling utterly stunned. I felt betrayed by her. I felt that she was telling me that "being gracious" - even if it was fake - was more important than the truth of why I was acting that way or the depth of pain I was feeling inside. I decided that she didn't understand me or care about my feeling and from that moment on, those were the "glasses" I wore when it came to my mom. Everything she did or said was seen and judged from that perspective.

But the truth was, my mom didn't know WHY I was acting that way towards my boyfriend because I never told her. 

What she didn't know was that the day before, he and I had been with our two best friends "celebrating" the holiday weekend aka "doing some underage drinking." My boyfriend had way too much to drink and in his drunken stupor he had decided that he was tired of waiting for me to be ready for sex and he had attempted to rape me. If his best friend hadn't heard me screaming and come to my rescue, he likely would have been successful. His friend pulled him off me with such force, he slammed him up against the wall. Too scared to move, I remained where I was on the floor, huddled in the corner of the room, my heart pounding so hard I could hear it in my ears. My best friend rushed to my side, while his friend dragged him out of the room, berating him for what he had just done to me.

I hadn't even had a chance to start processing what had just happened when his best friend ran back into the room to tell us that my boyfriend had announced he was going to kill himself and took off in his car. I remember saying, "He's driving?" He was so drunk he could barely walk - I shuddered to think he was behind the wheel of a car. We all rushed out to the front yard but he (and the car) were nowhere in sight.

At that point the tears began flowing, although it was such a jumbled mixture of emotions, I felt like my head was going to explode. I just sat there on the front lawn and sobbed, my chest heaving up and down, sandwiched between his best friend and mine, with neither of them knowing how to help me in that moment. 

I felt angry and betrayed by my boyfriend . . . I was afraid of him and what he was capable of . . . I was scared to death that he was going to actually kill himself . . . . I worried that it would be my fault if he did. My sixteen year old self wasn't able to cope with all that had just happened. I needed him to come back and be ok and yet a part of me didn't want him to come back because he had broken my heart and my trust so deeply. Everything was swirling around so quickly inside of me, I was sure I would throw up.

He eventually came back - and while I was grateful he didn't kill himself - I think it was our relationship that died that day. It was just never the same. The events that unfolded that day impacted me in more ways than I understood at the time. It took years for me to unravel the myriad of ways that weekend had shaped my beliefs and my own behavior . . . to see and understand why certain things triggered me into unconscious reactions from that point forward.

The next day, I chose to put most of the blame on my mother. I made her the "bad guy" in this because I thought she didn't care about what happened to me and how scared and confused I was. In my mind, she was trying to force me to act in a way that was about "keeping up appearances" instead of showing me any compassion. My boyfriend claimed he had blacked out and didn't remember what had happened (which was entirely possible) so there was no way I could talk to him about it. Our friends didn't want to talk about it. I wasn't sure I could talk about it either. I think all of us wanted to pretend it hadn't occurred. 

I didn't tell my mom what happened and I blamed her for that too - justifying that she hadn't ASKED me why I was acting that way towards my boyfriend - which to me was proof that she didn't care. I further justified my silence by holding the assumptions that she wouldn't understand or that she wouldn't believe me or that she would think I was being overly dramatic about the whole thing or that I would get in trouble for drinking. And yes, I had good reasons for making those assumptions, but I never gave her the chance to show me something different because I was so set in my beliefs. I had found someone to blame - end of story.

But the truth was - SHE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT HAD HAPPENED. She didn't know the TRUTH because I didn't tell her. I didn't take responsibility for the fact that she didn't know. I was content to stick with my version of the story for decades - that my mom didn't care about my feelings. Sticking to my version of the truth kept me from having a better relationship with my mother - I see that and own that now.

So why am I recounting this highly dramatic event from my past today? Because it highlights what I see happening in our world right now. We are in an incredibly emotionally charged time and I see people doing so many of the same things . . . Can you see all the parallels?

- Blaming people for what they are doing/not doing without understanding the whole story.

- Reacting to things without having all the information. (and I say that with understanding not blame, as it is not easy to access truthful information or to discern what IS true out of the sea of conflicting information out there) 

- Shaming people for not knowing the truth, when they haven't been told the truth or are unable to find it.

- Holding onto our beliefs (and our version of the story) so tightly that we can't see anything else.

- Deciding how people are going to react before they have a chance to show us anything different.

At this moment in time, many of us are so caught up in the emotions that are surging forth that we often can't see outside of our own stories or see the bigger picture. If we continue on this path, I believe the divide between us is going to get wider and wider. Our relationships with others might become so damaged they will be nearly impossible to heal. Our ability to come together to find resolutions may also be greatly diminished. If we operate so heavily from a place of fear like that, we might even forget what it is like to feel love and connection.

So here is my challenge to you . . . would you be willing to do any of the following? 

- Listen to someone else's point of view with an ear towards where your beliefs might be in alignment instead of where they are different.

- Consider the possibility that we may be reacting to misinformation or "half of the story."

- Remember that we need many of the same things . . . to be heard, to be understood, to be supported.

- Offer compassion to others - whether we agree with them or not.

- Look inside and see where we can take some responsibility for what is occurring or where we can take some action, instead of just judging others for what is happening.

- Be open to new information that may not line up with what we have always believed to be true.

- Ask ourselves: Do I want to know the truth? Or do I want to believe that I "know it all"? 

Furthermore - Can we consider the possibility that we have ALL been lied to about what is really happening in the world and that maybe none of us know the full truth / the full story?

We can continue to believe "our side/story" is right and the "other side/story" is wrong if we want . . . but we just may find that both sides are equally flawed and equally complicit. Do you want to stay in that place of separation? If you do that is ok too.

I believe the time is upon us to make a change . . . to open our ears and open our hearts . . . to come together and unite - with compassion . . . to find out way to peace, love and unity. We can change this world we live in if we choose to . . . one moment at a time . . . one day at a time . . . one person at a time. It truly is up to us. The question is: What are you going to choose? 

P.S.  For those of you who are concerned and/or feeling sorry for me regarding the story I shared, please know that everything is ok now. Gratefully my mom and I were able to reach a place of resolve and forgiveness before she passed away and my high school boyfriend and I are actually at peace with each other (with a lot of effort over the years to work through our past and find understanding and forgiveness.)  I am happy to say that I was finally able to heal all the drama and trauma that occurred from that holiday weekend. It is probably the reason why it was easy to share this story because we all managed to reach the "other side" of it - therefore it was / is possible for it to be a "neutral example."