The Answers Must Come From Within

As I have mentioned before, I often wake with a song in my head that has a message. Today I woke to Free Ride by Edgar Winter.  It was one of my favorite songs in high school so I was happy to hear it.  It conjured up great memories of the freedom that my friends and I felt when were getting our drivers licenses and had the ability to go places without our parents present. I remembered driving in a friend's convertible, top down, volume up as high as the car's cassette player would allow. I couldn't help but smile.

As I lay there, I couldn't recall all the lyrics, aside from "come on and take a free ride" so I was interested to see what the message was.  When I pulled up the lyrics, I got goose bumps up and down my arms . . . especially the second verse, as it seems so timely for the place we are in as a world right now.  For those of you who don't know the song, I've pasted the lyrics below.

If it speaks to you, wonderful.  If it doesn't, that's alright too.  It's still one of my all time favorite songs - best listened to with the volume up.

Free Ride

Edgar Winter

The mountain is high
The valley is low
And you're confused on which way to go
So I've come here to give you a hand
And lead you into the promised land
So (ooh, ooh, ooh) come on and take a free ride

Come on and sit here by my side

Come on and take a free ride

All over the country
I'm seeing it the same
Nobody's winning at this kind of game
We gotta do better it's time to begin
You know all the answers must come from within
So (ooh, ooh, ooh) come on and take a free ride
(Free ride)
(Ooh, ooh, ooh) Come on and sit here by my side

Come on and take a free ride

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Ooh, ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh, free ride

Come on and take a free ride
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Come on and take a free ride
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Not Everything The Media Shares is True

Personally I don't believe that everything we are told is the truth and it concerns me to see information being shared in a way that frightens people rather than truly informing. Now more than ever, I think it is vital that we question what we are seeing in the media.

An easy example of this is the information on mainstream media about the corona virus.  Just scrolling through the headlines, my gut says that a lot of information that is being shared is intended to frighten people rather than truly inform them and my head begins to spin at the number of times I see conflicting information.  Where is the truth in all of this?

When all of this first began, my father and I had a few conversations about our concerns related to data.  It is always fun for me to find topics my dad and I agree on, since there is a whole lot we don't see eye to eye on (i.e. politics, religion, the importance of feelings, to name a few)  :-)  Fortunately, data is one place where my dad and I are on the same page because we share a belief around the importance of truth and facts. I'm including a picture of my dad here, in part because I realized recently that this picture of my dad, taken decades ago, was taken at the very beach that I live by now. Little did I know way back then that this is where I would end up living.

A big point of our agreement is around the data being collected and how that information has been shared. We discussed the fact that saying "someone died of the corona virus" who had many other health ailments they were already battling isn't an honest representation of the virus. Most of us know that if our immune system is weakened (by other diseases and ailments), we can be more susceptible to viruses and have a more difficult time fighting them off. My dad and I have been concerned that without including data on what else people were already battling, it seems like everyone is dying from the virus alone, which really skews the truth.

Another point of agreement was around the lack of comparative data i.e. how many people die every year from the regular flu. We found some data at one point and were shocked how high the numbers were for the "annual flu" and then strangely enough, we couldn't find that data again a few weeks later when we looked for it.  (Note to self, when you find a good source of data, write down the URL since some browsers only keep a weeks worth of history).

From a young age, we are trained to believe people who are in a position of authority so when information is shared by a doctor or a nurse or someone with lots of initials after their name, we assume that it must be the truth but if that was the case, then information coming from doctors and nurses would always be in alignment, wouldn't it?  I am finding many cases where one "expert" seems to contradict what another "expert" says and it can leave us feeling pretty darn confused. Who do we believe?

One of the thing that I think will help us is if we start relying on our own knowing, our own ability to discern the truth. When you read something, you can sit with it for a minute. Ask yourself "Does this feel in alignment with the truth? or Does this feel in alignment with my truth?" and see what comes to you. Or pay attention to how you feel while you are reading something. Do you feel frightened by what you read? or do you feel informed?  I personally find that when an article is written in a way that frightens people, there is often a hidden agenda.

The other thing I have found is there can be a mixture of good information and misinformation in one article. I'm learning that just because an article starts out with good information, doesn't mean the entire contents of the article can be trusted.

I'm suspicious whenever the article include finger pointing (it's his fault, it's their fault, etc) - anytime there is blaming or shaming included, my gut tells me to be careful about believing everything in the article because if our goal truly is to inform people, then it shouldn't be trying to sway people into polarity.

As I said, the current situation with the corona virus is just one example.  I think this can apply to just about anything we are seeing in mainstream media.  I have a feeling it is going to become even more of an issue, with misinformation being shared along side good information and information being shared to frighten us into submission.

It is going to be up to us to discern for ourselves what is the truth and the more we can "build that muscle" right now, the easier time we'll have in the coming months.

Imagine How it Could Be

I don't pay much attention to the information shared in the mainstream media, as I find that it's geared more towards winding people up and scaring them instead of educating them, but my eye does still catch headlines when I get on line to check email, etc.

One of the things I have noticed this past week is the number of headlines that are focused on "how bad this is going to be" (after we are finally freed from the shelter in place order) . . .  how we aren't going to be able to recover from this - how the longer this goes on, the more impossible it will be to restore what was, etc.  I know that scares a lot of people.

Yet I had another thought come to me the other morning which was . . . maybe we shouldn't be trying to "put things back the way they were before" . . . maybe this is our opportunity to do things differently, to do things in a way that brings us closer to what would serve all of us better.

Sheltering in place has certainly brought some challenges but has it also brought some good?  Are there things that are happening now that you would like to continue to see in the future?  Are there things you are experiencing now that are worth keeping?  (whether it is more quality time with family, more quiet time, less time spent driving to and from work, more people reaching out to help others etc).

What about on a global level?  Do you see any positives as a result of what we are going through?

Take it one step further, if you had the ability to create a whole new world, without having to keep to the parameters of what has been - what would you create?  What would our world look like? What would it feel like?

If you feel inspired, I invite you to spend a little time each day thinking about how you would like things to be in our world.  You can focus on your immediate surroundings or you can focus on a more global view of things or you can do both.

I think that if we spend a little time each day thinking about how we would like things to be, not only can it lift our spirits in the moment, it can also put the energy of those possibilities out into the world.  You may not believe that our thoughts/imagination can be that powerful - and that's ok if you don't - it can't do any harm to spend a little time imaging it and it's definitely a lot more fun than watching the news.  :-)

Random Acts of Kindness for the rest of March!

I woke up this morning with random snippets of songs playing in my head. It's not uncommon for me to wake up with a song or some lyrics in my head but I've never heard a collection of songs this way. I heard the Youngbloods singing "Come on people now, smile on your brother, everybody get together, try to love one another right now" followed by The Yardbirds singing, "For your love," then the Beatles singing "All you need is love . . . love is all you need" and finally Dionne Warwick singing "What the world needs now is love sweet love."

As I laid there, in my half sleepy state, wondering who was playing DJ in my head, I knew all those song lyrics weren't random - they were in fact a message about the importance of being in a state of love right now, being in our heart space and being kind - because love can transmute fear.

There is so much fear in the world right now it is impossible not to feel it and yet we don't have to get caught up in and be paralyzed by the fear. We have the option of doing our best to spend time in our hearts. We have the option to find ways to be kind to others. When we act from our hearts, not only can we inspire hope, we can also help transmute some of the fear that has engulfed the planet.

I participated in an on-line gathering today where we were asked to commit to at least one random act of kindness every day for the next twelve days. I am fully on board for that and I was also thinking "why not do it for the whole month of March" . . . it certainly couldn't hurt so that's what I am planning to do. Would you consider doing it as well?

At a time when we are being told to isolate, showing kindness lets people know they aren't alone and can help us feel less separate. If you aren't able to leave the house, you can still participate. An act of kindness can simply be a text or a phone call, letting someone else know you are thinking about them and that they are not alone.  If you are out and about, it doesn't have to be something huge, it could be as simple as letting another car have that great front row parking space or letting someone with less groceries in their cart go in front of you in line. Yesterday, I got to do a random act of kindness when I noticed a lady struggling to reach the last container of half and half on the back of the top shelf in the dairy section. After getting it for her, we had a good laugh when I shared that I was always happy to find ways to put my abnormally tall stature to good use.

I am already seeing evidence of acts of kindness in my community as well as witnessing the breadth of positive effects they are having.

A neighbor posted a note on our local social media group offering to help anyone who is quarantined and needs groceries. Ten other people responded and said they would be happy to help as well.  Thirty more people responded saying that even though they didn't need the help being offered, the post had touched them deeply and restored their faith in humanity.

Another neighbor offered to help with childcare for people who still have to go to work (i.e. people in the medical industry). Again, the outpouring of gratitude to this person was enough to bring the most stoic person to tears and again, there were offers from others in the neighborhood who would be happy to do the same thing. Some teachers offered suggestions on how parents can structure their children's day if they are home with their kids while schools are closed and other folks provided links to on-line resources for educational materials they can find on line.

Someone else offered to help with groceries if anyone was unable to afford food because their place of business was shut down, thus dramatically decreasing their income.  The number of people who responded saying they'd like to help as well and could support the effort by buying needed groceries or transporting food and other necessities to people in need was truly astounding.

Every single person who read these post were uplifted by them. Even if they didn't need what was being offered, they still received a boost. That is what an act of kindness can do. It can lift the spirits of the recipient, it can make the person offering the kindness feel good and it can shift the mood of every person who reads about it or hears about it. On top of that, it can also transmute fear.

I feel like that is what my medley of songs was about this morning. At a time when many are feeling overwhelmed and helpless and frightened, the one thing we can do is show love to each other . . . we can be loving and kind and patient and compassionate. And not only will it help whoever is on the receiving end, it can have an amazing ripple effect on others too!

If you feel inspired, for the rest of this month would you be willing to perform a random act of kindness every day as well?

Animals and Their Purpose

Most of the animals that I work with feel they have an important role to play in the lives of their guardians.  From what I have learned from them, they come into our lives to help us learn and grow and they always have our best interests at heart.  Some people may say, "When an animal does this, this is what it means" but I don't think we can generalize that much because their purpose is so unique to each situation and each relationship they have.

Let's take barking dogs as an example. I have dealt with many dogs over the years who barked a lot and each one of them had a different reason for doing it, a different way they were trying to assist their guardian.

One dog I worked with told me that he barked a lot because his guardian never spoke up for herself so he was trying to "model" the behavior he wanted her to get better at. When I told her this, she confirmed her dog was right and she began working to improve in that area. And over time, as she spoke up more, her dog barked less.

So if you have a dog that barks a lot, should you assume that you need to speak up more?  Not necessarily.

Another over-zealous barker told me that her dad let everyone walk all over him, including her and she wanted him to learn how to set boundaries. She thought that if her dad could learn to set boundaries with her, that it would be easier for him to do it with the humans in his life too. He was so touched by her willingness to let him practice with her and soon he was finding it easier to set boundaries with other people in his life. (and miraculously, she stopped being an over-zealous barker)

And yet there was another barking dog that told me her parents argued a lot and she was trying to show them that it wasn't a good way to communicate. She also told me that the energy from their arguments made her uncomfortable and sometimes she barked just to release the energy she was feeling. (That was a conversation that had to be handled very gently and very gracefully with her parents)  :-)  Fortunately, they were receptive to the message and promised to work on their way of "communicating" with each other.  As they created more peace in their interactions, their dog no longer felt the need to add to the chaos by barking so much.

Another dog I worked with told me that her mom was scared all the time and she was trying to let her know she was "on the job" protecting her. She thought that her barking would help her mom feel safer.  When I talked to her mom about it and found out that her dog's barking made her feel even more on edge, we talked about things she could do to help increase her level of comfort. She came up with a few ideas (installing some motion sensor lights in the yard and having an extra lock put on the door).  Once she put those things in place, she felt safer and consequently, her dog's barking decreased dramatically.

I truly believe animals have a reason for the things they do and if we remember that they are here to help us, it's easier to figure out what they are trying to show us by behaviors that we might consider bothersome or label "a training issue."

How do you think the animals in your life are trying to help you learn and grow?

The Nuances of Communication

Often times, people think that when I say I can communicate with animals that it is an actual "conversation" like it would be with another human. When a guardian says, "Can you find out why my dog does X?" they might assume that I can say, "Hey pup, why do you do X"" and the pup will reply, "Oh I do that because of Y and Z"  LOL  I wish it were that straight-forward.

The truth is "communication" isn't like that with animals and there is a lot of interpretation required. Sure, sometimes I get words or phrases but usually it is a mixture of their physical sensations and emotions that I sense in my body and pictures/images that come into my mind. Then the detective work begins. I sit with what I have picked up and try to piece it all together to make sense of what the animal is telling me. Given that my interpretation may not be accurate, often the assistance of the guardian is required to verify what I picked up from their animal.

One humorous example of this was the time a client wanted me to do a distance healing session on their cat who had been sick. The guardians were two sisters that lived together and while the information on the tummy issues they were concerned about came through pretty clearly, there was something else their cat was trying to tell me that I couldn't quite make sense of.

I could feel the cat was a bit irritated, I could also feel a bit of jealousy. It seemed like it had to do with a male. I sensed there had been changes to the routines she had grown accustomed to and that she also felt she was not getting as much attention. Based on the emotions I felt in their cat and the images I was getting, my best guess was that maybe one of the sisters had started dating someone new and their cat was showing me the ways she was having trouble adjusting to it.

After the session, I shared all I had learned from their cat in an email. I said that while I didn't want them to feel obligated to divulge information about their personal lives, and I certainly wasn't trying to pry, I wasn't sure if I was on track with how I had interpreted the irritation/jealousy and wondered if they could let me know.

Once they stopped laughing, they wrote me back and told me that neither of them were in a new romantic relationship, yet my email still made perfect sense to them. They had recently adopted a new kitten, a male kitten. Given that the new kitten WAS pulling their attention away and that his presence in the house had changed some of their usual routines, they were certain that was what she was trying to tell me.

Sometimes I wish communicating with animals could be more "conversational" yet I am still happy to be able to receive the information that I DO receive.

Occasionally I get a full sentence from an animal and even then it's necessary to "fill in the blanks."  Just last week, I was sitting in the yard writing while Kino was inside the house. The neighbors dogs started barking, which they do a LOT. When they play with each other, they bark the entire time and many days they get "play time" multiple times a day. It's something I struggle with because loud barking is very jarring to my nervous system.

On this particular day, I heard "It's not fair" in my head. I looked around the yard to see if there were any birds or squirrels around who might have said it but I didn't see any. Who thought something was unfair? Could it be my neighbor's dogs? and then it clicked . . . it was Kino.

I ask him all the time to please not bark. He knows it drives me crazy and yet there are days when he can't stop himself from "notifying me" that a UPS truck is driving by or that someone is walking by our house or that a leaf just fell. On those days, where he is barking his notifications non-stop, he often gets scolded by me and I have even gone so far as to tell him that I only want to hear him bark if someone is attempting to break into the house. (smile)  What I was sensing in that moment was that he felt it was unfair that they get to bark all the time, when he is repeatedly asked not to.

I had to fight back a giggle as I went inside to talk to him. Telling him that I understood why he felt it was unfair, I explained that different people have different "house rules" and reminded him that he happened to live with someone who was very sensitive to noise. I said that maybe they had different "house rules" over there and I was sorry if he felt he was being stifled. I suggested that maybe he could do some barking when I was away from the house.

The next day, as I pulled the car out of the garage, I could hear him barking inside the house. I couldn't help but laugh.  I drove a couple houses down and stopped to see if he was still barking. Much to my delight, the barking had ceased. I guess he just needed to get some of it out of his system.

Maybe someday our communication with animals will be as straight-forward as it is between humans, where you ask a question and you hear a clear answer. I think that would be very cool. In the meantime, my "interpretation muscle" will continue to get a good work-out.

Asking Permission is Appreciated

Last night I had the most pleasant dream, I woke up smiling and every time I think about the dream, it continues to make me happy.  I'm one of those people who dream a lot but my dreams, when I remember them, are not usually what I would categorize as fun or pleasant.  They are intense and weird at best and are often disturbing and unsettling.  So I was pretty excited to wake up from a dream that was so enjoyable.

In the dream, I was swimming with dolphins and then one of the dolphins asked, "Can I kiss you?" and I said "Sure!" and the sweet dolphin kissed me on the cheek.  The strange thing was that the dolphin was talking out loud so it wasn't just me who heard the question but the other people who were with me heard it as well.  The dolphins brought us back to the dock where other people were waiting for us and when the dolphins said goodbye, again, it was out loud so everyone could hear it.

Then the dream flipped to a new scene and I was sitting on the floor of a room and a bunch of raccoons were there.  At one point, one of the raccoons came up to me, stood on his hind legs and said, "Can I hug you?" and I smiled and said "Of course you can!" and he proceeded to put his arms around my neck and give me the nicest hug.  Once again, he was talking out loud and all the other people in the room could hear him talking.

When I woke up, my first thought was "Wow, that was so sweet!" and then my mind wandered into that "I wonder why I dreamt about that" territory.  There seemed to be a theme of them asking for permission before they touched me so I pondered that for a moment. Then a flash of insight came . . . animals like to be asked for permission before we touch them.

It is something that I sensed early on and I have tried to always be respectful in my interactions with animals but when I first began fostering Kino, he reinforced the importance of this in a big way.  If you reached out to touch him, he would try to bite you so I learned very quickly that I needed to always ask before touching him.  I also learned that I needed to honor his choice if he didn't want to be touched.

For instance, he has had ear infections off and on over the last 6 years and I always say, "Can I look in your ear?"  To this day, sometimes the answer is still "no" which he indicates either by running away from me or grabbing a toy and shaking it violently.  Sometimes if I explain why I want to look in his ear and assure him that "looking isn't going to hurt" he will allow it but not always.  I know it is important to respect his wishes so I never push beyond that.

As I contemplated this over my coffee this morning, I realized that he ingrained this in me quite strongly.  When he isn't feeling well, I will often say, "Do you need a hug?" and I wait to see if his tail wags.  If his tail doesn't move, I said "Ok, maybe another time." If his tail DOES wag, I give him a nice warm embrace, which usually makes his tail wag even more.  The important thing is that I let the choice be his.

I am still not 100% sure why I was treated to such a fun dream last night. My only thought is that the message was about mutual respect and how asking permission before touching is an important part of it, regardless of whether we are the human or the animal.  What I am 100% sure of is that talking to animals out loud and receiving loving gestures from them was the coolest dream I ever had.  I hope that it happens again!