The Big Impact Little Things Can Have

It's been a tough year - I don't know anyone who would disagree - although it's been tough in a lot of different ways. It's also been a year of great loss and that loss has shown up in a myriad of ways too. Regardless of the challenges and regardless of what has been "lost" this year - I have seen what a huge impact the small things can have so I would like to share a few things, for those of you who could use a little dose of soul medicine. 

My father experienced two big losses this year in the form of both of his dogs passing away.  We knew Duffy didn't have much time, as he had cancer so it was somewhat expected. Not necessarily the "when" because aside from the fact that he didn't have much control over his bladder and was making my dad jump through hoops to figure out what he wanted to eat from one week to the next, he was still full of life until his last week. He crossed over the rainbow bridge this spring and I'm quite sure he's been hanging out with my mom ever since. Casey on the other hand, well, that was totally unexpected and caught us all off guard, which made the loss that much harder. From the time my dad told me something wasn't quite right with him to when he passed was less than 72 hours. He passed during a time that half of the state of California was on fire so it was a pretty rough time in many ways. 

This is a picture of one of the last times we were all together - my dad and "his boys" - it's hard to believe both the boys are gone now.

My dad wanted to donate their things to families that has lost everything in the fires around us but he couldn't find anyone who would accept the donations. Organizations were only accepting "new" things and my dad was really disappointed (as was I) that people who wanted to help those who lost everything were being turned away. He wanted to be able to help other dogs (he had dog beds, a boat load of food and treats, some toys, etc) but since they were "used" no one would accept them.

I offered to see what I could do.  My dad mentioned that the dog beds and the toys needed a little mending and when I saw how much work was required, I giggled to myself as I remembered that my mom had always been prone to exaggeration, while my dad has always tended to do the opposite, whether it's his response to how he's feeling and apparently also how much mending is actually required.  LOL  After about 3-4 hours of hand stitching the toys and bed seams, they were ready to go to new homes.

I found a facebook group here in my community where people could post things they wanted to donate (and where people could post things they needed).  Fortunately, connecting directly with victims of our fires here, the choice was theirs if they were ok with accepting something that was "used" or opened.

Much to my delight, my dad's donations were snapped up quickly and people were so appreciative to have some things for their dogs, as they try to settle into new or temporary houses.  

So this is where all the magic began to happen. First of all, I had two beds to donate and immediately there were two responses to my post from people whose dogs needed them. When a third person replied to the post to inquire about a dog bed, I hated the thought that I couldn't help the third dog so I decided to put a note out to my neighborhood to see if I could find one more dog bed. Within 48 hours, I didn't just have 1 more bed, I had 9 more! Not only that, I had two bags of stuffed toys to give away. I was incredibly touched by the support from my neighbors. 

One of the recipients was kind enough to send me a picture of his pup enjoying her new bed. It touched me so much, I immediately sent the picture to my dad. Needless to say, the ache in my dad's heart lessened a little bit, seeing one of the dog beds being enjoyed by a pup who had lost everything. 

A few weeks later, when the gal who wanted the toys and some of the treats was able to move into her new place and finally get Marla home (Marla had been in temporary foster care while her mom searched for a new place for their family to live), I was able to share more of dad's donations, as well as additional toys that had been donated to our effort. She sent me a picture this weekend of Marla and a note that said she didn't know why but of all the toys, the gorilla was Marla's favorite. What she didn't know was that of all the toys I had given her, the gorilla belonged to Casey. The picture brought tears to my eyes and I immediately sent it to my dad. My dad was so touched by the picture that he said he was going to print it out and hang it up. I could feel the hole in my dad's heart being mended a little more. 

Marla's mom said, "I love that we can find the bright spots in all of this loss" and I couldn't agree more. She and I were both moved to tears at the realization that sometimes it really is the little things in life that can bring us the most joy . . . what my dad thought was a "little thing" (donating Duffy and Casey's things) ended up having a big and beautiful impact on some dogs that had lost everything and what she thought was a "little thing" (taking a picture of Marla with the gorilla) had such a big and beautiful impact on me and my dad. 

I believe this kind of magic and sweetness is going on around all of us if we are able to take the time to notice . . . so my wish is that we can all keep finding those little moments of joy and that they will help us put one foot in front of the other as we navigate this time of upheaval . . . and maybe 2020 will end on a higher note than it's been all year.

Is Our Humanity Being Replaced By Fear and Blame?

With everything that is going on in the world right now, it can feel like the walls are closing in on us. Everywhere you turn people are angry and frustrated. Politics are being shoved in everyone's faces and there is so much judgement and blame flying around that it's hard to imagine things will ever get better. 

Going to the grocery store used to be a rather fun social outing for me, since I have become friendly with almost everyone that works at my local grocery story and I always seemed to find myself chatting with strangers while I went about my shopping.  

Now I see so many instances of fear getting in the way of our humanity. People who won't walk down an aisle if anyone else is in that aisle, people are unable to have a conversation or exchange pleasantries because they are all trying to stand so far away from each other, so afraid someone else is going to "make them sick." I wondered how we got here, where we've been lied to so much that masks and social distancing are becoming the "norm" and our humanity is taking a back seat.  

Yes - I just said it out loud (well, I wrote it).  I believe we are being lied to - about almost everything. 

And as long as we are not being told the truth, I believe we are battling each other on the shakiest, most unstable foundations . . . and I wonder how long it will be before it all comes crumbling down. I pray every day for the "truth" to come out - whatever the "truth" may be. 

In the meantime, I try to keep to myself and just go about my own business but sometimes that is a challenge -  when faced with a situation where more humanity is needed.

While standing in line outside the grocery store several weeks ago, I absent-mindedly walked forward while looking at my grocery list. When I looked up and saw how close I was standing to the gentleman in front of me, I immediately apologized. He looked at me with a somewhat vacant look in his eyes and said, "I just lost every single thing I own in the fires, the last thing I am worried about is you standing less than 6 feet away from me." As I told him how sorry I was for what he was going through, his eyes welled up with tears and then mine did too. He looked so sad, so defeated and in that moment, I felt so helpless.

As we stood and talked, the gentleman stepped even closer and then he dropped his mask, explaining that he couldn't breathe with it on. I told him I didn't mind and I dropped mine as well so we could hear each other better, and we continued to talk while we waited to go inside.  He was such a kind man and my heart truly ached for what he was going through. I listened as he told me how long he had lived in his house (decades), how many cherished memories he had there and how much uncertainty was swirling around him now. (Where would he live? How would he "start over" at his advanced age? How could he begin to put his life back together?") 

When the line moved enough that it was time for us to both enter the store, I told him again how sorry I was for what he was going through. When I asked if there was anything I could do for him, he said "Being treated with compassion was the greatest gift you could have given me today - for that I thank you." 

For weeks now I have been thinking about this gentleman, wondering how he is doing. Each time he comes into my mind, I send him love and hope that he is finding his way. 

I know there are a lot of people who may be flipping out right now - convinced that if there is a new "hot spot" in my area that it's probably my fault - and all I can say is "You are free to believe that." You are entitled to think whatever you want. It is not going to stop me from being myself though. What someone else thinks will not stop me from trusting that there are times where operating from my heart is more important than following the "rules."

As Dionne Warwick (and many others over the years) have been singing:

What the world needs now is love, sweet love

It's the only thing that there's just too little of

What the world needs now is love, sweet love,

No not just for some but for everyone. 

I look forward to the day where we ALL know the truth and we can replace all the fear and blame with empathy, compassion, kindness and understanding. In the meantime, if something isn't adding up, please don't be afraid to question it and look a little deeper.