Random Acts of Kindness for the rest of March!

I woke up this morning with random snippets of songs playing in my head. It's not uncommon for me to wake up with a song or some lyrics in my head but I've never heard a collection of songs this way. I heard the Youngbloods singing "Come on people now, smile on your brother, everybody get together, try to love one another right now" followed by The Yardbirds singing, "For your love," then the Beatles singing "All you need is love . . . love is all you need" and finally Dionne Warwick singing "What the world needs now is love sweet love."

As I laid there, in my half sleepy state, wondering who was playing DJ in my head, I knew all those song lyrics weren't random - they were in fact a message about the importance of being in a state of love right now, being in our heart space and being kind - because love can transmute fear.

There is so much fear in the world right now it is impossible not to feel it and yet we don't have to get caught up in and be paralyzed by the fear. We have the option of doing our best to spend time in our hearts. We have the option to find ways to be kind to others. When we act from our hearts, not only can we inspire hope, we can also help transmute some of the fear that has engulfed the planet.

I participated in an on-line gathering today where we were asked to commit to at least one random act of kindness every day for the next twelve days. I am fully on board for that and I was also thinking "why not do it for the whole month of March" . . . it certainly couldn't hurt so that's what I am planning to do. Would you consider doing it as well?

At a time when we are being told to isolate, showing kindness lets people know they aren't alone and can help us feel less separate. If you aren't able to leave the house, you can still participate. An act of kindness can simply be a text or a phone call, letting someone else know you are thinking about them and that they are not alone.  If you are out and about, it doesn't have to be something huge, it could be as simple as letting another car have that great front row parking space or letting someone with less groceries in their cart go in front of you in line. Yesterday, I got to do a random act of kindness when I noticed a lady struggling to reach the last container of half and half on the back of the top shelf in the dairy section. After getting it for her, we had a good laugh when I shared that I was always happy to find ways to put my abnormally tall stature to good use.

I am already seeing evidence of acts of kindness in my community as well as witnessing the breadth of positive effects they are having.

A neighbor posted a note on our local social media group offering to help anyone who is quarantined and needs groceries. Ten other people responded and said they would be happy to help as well.  Thirty more people responded saying that even though they didn't need the help being offered, the post had touched them deeply and restored their faith in humanity.

Another neighbor offered to help with childcare for people who still have to go to work (i.e. people in the medical industry). Again, the outpouring of gratitude to this person was enough to bring the most stoic person to tears and again, there were offers from others in the neighborhood who would be happy to do the same thing. Some teachers offered suggestions on how parents can structure their children's day if they are home with their kids while schools are closed and other folks provided links to on-line resources for educational materials they can find on line.

Someone else offered to help with groceries if anyone was unable to afford food because their place of business was shut down, thus dramatically decreasing their income.  The number of people who responded saying they'd like to help as well and could support the effort by buying needed groceries or transporting food and other necessities to people in need was truly astounding.

Every single person who read these post were uplifted by them. Even if they didn't need what was being offered, they still received a boost. That is what an act of kindness can do. It can lift the spirits of the recipient, it can make the person offering the kindness feel good and it can shift the mood of every person who reads about it or hears about it. On top of that, it can also transmute fear.

I feel like that is what my medley of songs was about this morning. At a time when many are feeling overwhelmed and helpless and frightened, the one thing we can do is show love to each other . . . we can be loving and kind and patient and compassionate. And not only will it help whoever is on the receiving end, it can have an amazing ripple effect on others too!

If you feel inspired, for the rest of this month would you be willing to perform a random act of kindness every day as well?

Animals and Their Purpose

Most of the animals that I work with feel they have an important role to play in the lives of their guardians.  From what I have learned from them, they come into our lives to help us learn and grow and they always have our best interests at heart.  Some people may say, "When an animal does this, this is what it means" but I don't think we can generalize that much because their purpose is so unique to each situation and each relationship they have.

Let's take barking dogs as an example. I have dealt with many dogs over the years who barked a lot and each one of them had a different reason for doing it, a different way they were trying to assist their guardian.

One dog I worked with told me that he barked a lot because his guardian never spoke up for herself so he was trying to "model" the behavior he wanted her to get better at. When I told her this, she confirmed her dog was right and she began working to improve in that area. And over time, as she spoke up more, her dog barked less.

So if you have a dog that barks a lot, should you assume that you need to speak up more?  Not necessarily.

Another over-zealous barker told me that her dad let everyone walk all over him, including her and she wanted him to learn how to set boundaries. She thought that if her dad could learn to set boundaries with her, that it would be easier for him to do it with the humans in his life too. He was so touched by her willingness to let him practice with her and soon he was finding it easier to set boundaries with other people in his life. (and miraculously, she stopped being an over-zealous barker)

And yet there was another barking dog that told me her parents argued a lot and she was trying to show them that it wasn't a good way to communicate. She also told me that the energy from their arguments made her uncomfortable and sometimes she barked just to release the energy she was feeling. (That was a conversation that had to be handled very gently and very gracefully with her parents)  :-)  Fortunately, they were receptive to the message and promised to work on their way of "communicating" with each other.  As they created more peace in their interactions, their dog no longer felt the need to add to the chaos by barking so much.

Another dog I worked with told me that her mom was scared all the time and she was trying to let her know she was "on the job" protecting her. She thought that her barking would help her mom feel safer.  When I talked to her mom about it and found out that her dog's barking made her feel even more on edge, we talked about things she could do to help increase her level of comfort. She came up with a few ideas (installing some motion sensor lights in the yard and having an extra lock put on the door).  Once she put those things in place, she felt safer and consequently, her dog's barking decreased dramatically.

I truly believe animals have a reason for the things they do and if we remember that they are here to help us, it's easier to figure out what they are trying to show us by behaviors that we might consider bothersome or label "a training issue."

How do you think the animals in your life are trying to help you learn and grow?