People often speak of the concept that "we are one" . . . meaning that we are all energy, we are all divine beings having a human experience and we are all portions of a greater whole.
At the same time, we are each on our own journey . . . having our own experiences . . . reacting and responding to things differently - based on how we were raised (beliefs, culture, etc), based on our unique body chemistry, etc.
I'm learning just how important it is to honor our uniqueness - our individualness - because there isn't a one-size-fits-all approach to anything in life. I'm also learning that the key to being able to honor our uniqueness lies in our ability to truly listen to ourselves. The more we listen to ourselves, our bodies and our hearts, the easier it is to navigate the multitude of options available to us.
I got "schooled" in this when I first adopted Kino. He was a German shepherd, just like my previous dog Lucky, so even though I knew his temperament and his personality were different, I assumed everything else would be the same. I was wrong.
Lucky loved eating ice cubes and always got a frozen Kong filled with goodies when I left her alone so I did the same thing with Kino . . . and quickly discovered that when anything cold hit his stomach, he would projectile vomit. It had never occurred to me that he wouldn't be able to enjoy the same treats as her.
I used a prong collar with Lucky, which kept her from pulling when we were on walks. She didn't seem to mind it at all so I used one with Kino early on and quickly (although not quickly enough) discovered that it sparked intense aggression in him.
They are unique individuals - regardless of how "alike" they seem - and I have learned that I should never assume that because something worked with her that it will work with him.
This applies to humans as well. We forget sometimes that we truly are different, even if we seem similar from the outside. I am very cautious now when I hear people push things from a "one-size-fits-all" perspective . . . whether it's a diet, a holistic approach to healing, or anything else.
People have such strong opinions about the food we eat. People who are vegan often believe that it's the ONLY way and admonish people who still eat meat. Many people who follow the Paleo diet do the same thing. People who have had success following the guidance in the book The Medical Medium often believe that if anyone has any health issues, they just need to drink celery juice every morning and all their issues will be resolved. I don't believe that is true. Our power lies in learning to pay attention to our own bodies, to pay attention to how we feel after we eat this or that. The more we listen to ourselves, the less we pay attention to what everyone else says is the "right way" the happier and healthier we will be.
From a healing perspective there are so many options out there. There is EFT and tapping, Reiki, acupuncture, breathing techniques, affirmations, somatic therapy, cranial sacral therapy and so many more! And what works for one person may not work for the next. If we try out a specific healing modality, what's important is for us to then listen to ourselves to know if it helped or not. Just because it helped someone else doesn't mean it will be the right modality for us.
I believe one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves is the gift of listening . . . listening to ourselves, to how we feel, how our bodies react and respond to different things. There's a lot of pressure out there to "conform" because people inadvertently think they have "the" answer, when the truth is, "the" answer is unique to each one of us.
So listen to yourself, trust your own inner knowing about what is right for you. It will help you in ways that may surprise you.
Thursday, February 21, 2019
Wednesday, February 6, 2019
Becoming An Empowered Empath
I'm writing this blog for people who identify as empaths because it is not always an easy journey. From the research I have found, only 5-7% of the population are empaths. Regardless of whether that statistic is accurate (i.e. if the number is higher), the point is that the % of us on the planet is small right now. This means that learning how to "be" an empath can be very challenging because we don't learn about it in school and there didn't used to be any resources available to support us in how we experience the world. A lot of people who are empaths spend the first part of their lives feeling that there is something very wrong with them and wishing they could just be like everyone else.
Here are some of the things we may feel before we realize we're an empath:
The Unaware Empath:
- Feel different than everyone else
- Often wonder if there is something wrong with us
- Can feel overwhelmed by people, places and things
- Can feel very emotional and not always understand why
- Often feel overly responsible for everyone else's happiness
- Can feel exhausted after being around people
- Often feel taken advantage of by others
- Sometimes feels victimized by the effect other people have on them
- Can feel a little crazy sometimes
Then the first bit of magic arrives! When we reach the part of our journey where we realize there is a "name" for this thing we are - this way of being in the world that seems so wildly different from everyone else - and with that comes a feeling of elation. So many things about ourselves and our lives finally make sense and it can be an incredibly wonderful feeling when the puzzle pieces start to click into place.
Unfortunately this stage is usually followed by a feeling of overwhelm as we begin to pay attention to how we react and respond to the energy that we are constantly absorbing in the world around us. We may find ourselves even more emotional than normal (and wonder how that's even possible). Then there is the onslaught of questions that start bouncing around in our heads. Are all these things we're feeling ours? or are we picking up on other people's emotions? or their physical pain? Are we only feeling what people in the room are feeling? or is it possible we are picking up on what someone is feeling 100 miles away? How do we stop this barrage of energy from throwing us off kilter all the time?
We may begin to feel that being around people and interacting with people is just too much to handle. Often we want to hibernate, we want to grocery shop late at night when most people are in bed and we sometimes feel the weight of the world slowly pushing us down. We may view being an empath as a curse or at a minimum feel that it's a pointless "gift" because we don't understand how to use it.
The wonderful news is that there IS a way out . . . there is a way to move from the initial overwhelm into a space where we truly see our gift as a GIFT and not a curse (the empowered empath). We can get to the place where we see how we can truly help others and be a positive force in the world without running ourselves into the ground doing it. There are tools and techniques we may need to learn in order to get there but we CAN get there. Some of the things that have been helpful to me and other empaths I have worked with are:
Getting Empowered:
- Learning to set boundaries
- Learning that its ok to say "No"
- Learning to accept and honor our own feelings
- Learning what emotions are ours and which emotions belong to others
- Learning to ground ourselves
- Learning how to manage energy (our own and other's)
- Healing old emotional wounds
- Finding our voice / giving ourselves permission to speak up
- Creating daily practices that honor our own self care
- Exploring our intuitive abilities
The road can be long or not quite as long, it can be difficult or not quite as difficult depending on where we are when we begin this journey, how much support we have and how dedicated we are to staying on this path to find our way back to ourselves. There is no "right" way to get there. Many of the hurdles will be different and we each need to find our own way but we CAN get there. We truly can get to the point where it's fun and exciting to be an empath. I promise you, it is well worth the journey.
When we reach the point of being an empowered empath, here are some of the things we might experience:
The Empowered Empath:
- Have more harmonious relationships
- Feel more of a sense of peace
- Able to set clear and healthy boundaries with others
- Confident in how we experience energy and our ability to transmute it
- Know we can effect the energy around us
- Can speak up when we have something to say
- Accept and honor the fact that we are each on our own journey - we no longer feel so responsible for everyone else
- Feel comfortable in our own skin
- Feel a stronger sense of purpose
- Know who we are and how we want to interact with the world
- Find ways (big and small) to use this gift of ours to be of service to humanity
Finally, it's important to point out that this isn't a linear path. I have learned that for a while we may bounce back and forth between the "Unaware Empath" experiences and the "Empowered Empath" experiences. There may be days where we really feel like we've got this! And a couple days later, we may feel like we've taken 10 steps backwards.
For instance, maybe you feel like you've finally mastered setting boundaries with others and are enjoying this new way of being and then "Boom!" - out of nowhere you encounter someone who seems to push every button you have and your boundaries collapse. You may feel very discouraged and wonder why you bothered trying but please know this is all part of the process.
Those "steps backwards" are actually gifts . . . they may be showing us where we have a little something else that can be learned or healed. And when we do that, we can come back stronger than ever. We deserve to enjoy all the beauty and the benefits that come with being an empath so hang in there and keep putting one foot in front of the other! I promise - you will be glad you did!
Here are some of the things we may feel before we realize we're an empath:
The Unaware Empath:
- Feel different than everyone else
- Often wonder if there is something wrong with us
- Can feel overwhelmed by people, places and things
- Can feel very emotional and not always understand why
- Often feel overly responsible for everyone else's happiness
- Can feel exhausted after being around people
- Often feel taken advantage of by others
- Sometimes feels victimized by the effect other people have on them
- Can feel a little crazy sometimes
Then the first bit of magic arrives! When we reach the part of our journey where we realize there is a "name" for this thing we are - this way of being in the world that seems so wildly different from everyone else - and with that comes a feeling of elation. So many things about ourselves and our lives finally make sense and it can be an incredibly wonderful feeling when the puzzle pieces start to click into place.
Unfortunately this stage is usually followed by a feeling of overwhelm as we begin to pay attention to how we react and respond to the energy that we are constantly absorbing in the world around us. We may find ourselves even more emotional than normal (and wonder how that's even possible). Then there is the onslaught of questions that start bouncing around in our heads. Are all these things we're feeling ours? or are we picking up on other people's emotions? or their physical pain? Are we only feeling what people in the room are feeling? or is it possible we are picking up on what someone is feeling 100 miles away? How do we stop this barrage of energy from throwing us off kilter all the time?
We may begin to feel that being around people and interacting with people is just too much to handle. Often we want to hibernate, we want to grocery shop late at night when most people are in bed and we sometimes feel the weight of the world slowly pushing us down. We may view being an empath as a curse or at a minimum feel that it's a pointless "gift" because we don't understand how to use it.
The wonderful news is that there IS a way out . . . there is a way to move from the initial overwhelm into a space where we truly see our gift as a GIFT and not a curse (the empowered empath). We can get to the place where we see how we can truly help others and be a positive force in the world without running ourselves into the ground doing it. There are tools and techniques we may need to learn in order to get there but we CAN get there. Some of the things that have been helpful to me and other empaths I have worked with are:
Getting Empowered:
- Learning to set boundaries
- Learning that its ok to say "No"
- Learning to accept and honor our own feelings
- Learning what emotions are ours and which emotions belong to others
- Learning to ground ourselves
- Learning how to manage energy (our own and other's)
- Healing old emotional wounds
- Finding our voice / giving ourselves permission to speak up
- Creating daily practices that honor our own self care
- Exploring our intuitive abilities
The road can be long or not quite as long, it can be difficult or not quite as difficult depending on where we are when we begin this journey, how much support we have and how dedicated we are to staying on this path to find our way back to ourselves. There is no "right" way to get there. Many of the hurdles will be different and we each need to find our own way but we CAN get there. We truly can get to the point where it's fun and exciting to be an empath. I promise you, it is well worth the journey.
When we reach the point of being an empowered empath, here are some of the things we might experience:
The Empowered Empath:
- Have more harmonious relationships
- Feel more of a sense of peace
- Able to set clear and healthy boundaries with others
- Confident in how we experience energy and our ability to transmute it
- Know we can effect the energy around us
- Can speak up when we have something to say
- Accept and honor the fact that we are each on our own journey - we no longer feel so responsible for everyone else
- Feel comfortable in our own skin
- Feel a stronger sense of purpose
- Know who we are and how we want to interact with the world
- Find ways (big and small) to use this gift of ours to be of service to humanity
Finally, it's important to point out that this isn't a linear path. I have learned that for a while we may bounce back and forth between the "Unaware Empath" experiences and the "Empowered Empath" experiences. There may be days where we really feel like we've got this! And a couple days later, we may feel like we've taken 10 steps backwards.
For instance, maybe you feel like you've finally mastered setting boundaries with others and are enjoying this new way of being and then "Boom!" - out of nowhere you encounter someone who seems to push every button you have and your boundaries collapse. You may feel very discouraged and wonder why you bothered trying but please know this is all part of the process.
Those "steps backwards" are actually gifts . . . they may be showing us where we have a little something else that can be learned or healed. And when we do that, we can come back stronger than ever. We deserve to enjoy all the beauty and the benefits that come with being an empath so hang in there and keep putting one foot in front of the other! I promise - you will be glad you did!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
