Embracing Change

I have never been one to embrace change.  In fact, it would be more accurate to say that I have always resisted it with every ounce of strength I had.  But something has been compelling me to make changes for a while now, as I have had a growing sense that I needed to shake things up in my life.

At first I started with small changes . . . because that was all I was comfortable with.  I did things such as giving up the morning crossword puzzle and using that time to meditate and giving up certain foods in an effort to be healthier.  No matter how many of these small changes I made, it wasn't alleviating the pressure I felt inside to do something different.

For quite some time, I have felt I was being guided to move but it was guidance I wasn't really open to receiving.  I could come up with a million reasons why I shouldn't move and yet, something in the back of my head kept telling me it was what I truly needed to do if I was going to fulfill my purpose.

With some hesitation, I put my house on the market to see what happened and I asked the Universe to show me if it was the right thing to do.  Within two days, the first people to look at my house had submitted an offer.  I took that as a sign the Universe was saying "Yes."

The path to finding a new place to live wasn't quite as "easy."  I have always wanted to live by the ocean, so I figured I should follow my heart and find a place to rent for a little while.  Unfortunately, I am not the only person out there who wants to rent a house by the ocean so I have not been able to secure a place to live yet.  I've been experiencing an odd mixture of fear of the unknown and trust that it is all going to work out exactly as it is supposed to.

Two days ago, I closed escrow on my house and moved out.  Packing up and moving on from a place I have been for twenty years was not an easy task.  My house is filled with more memories than I can track. (It was also filled with an unimaginable amount of "stuff" that I managed to accumulate over the years).  Sorting through it all and letting go felt like the ultimate test from the Universe but I think I passed the test.

Every room in the house holds stories and as I walked through the house one final time, it was as if a movie was playing in my head . . . of all my relationships - the good ones and the not-so-good ones, parties and friends visiting from out of state, home improvement projects.  I could remember in vivid detail what it was like when Lucky first came to live with me, a vividly remember when she made her transition fourteen years later and everything in between.  As I was making my final walk through, Kino was right on my heels, as if he was paying his respects right along with me to the last twenty years of my life.

For as much sadness as I felt as I said goodbye to each room, I was equally sure this was the right thing to do.  Kino and I are setting out on a new adventure.  It's not as smooth of a transition as I would like (we're staying in a pet friendly motel at the moment) and yet, I trust that we will find our way and that soon we will get our belongings out of storage and set up a new home for ourselves.

I may not be as consistent with blog entries for the short term, as I don't know where I will be and how much internet access I will have but when the next part of our journey unfolds, I will be sure to get an update published.

Wishing you all a magical new year!  May you be showered with blessings and love, compassion and peace.