Animals often display behaviors to help us develop the skills we need to navigate more easily through our own journey. They figure if you can learn to deal with their behavior, then you can use that skill with other people in your life. And it's often a skill that, if perfected, can make life a lot easier.
In recent months, I have worked with 4-5 animals who are trying to teach their guardians the same thing . . . how to set boundaries. The guardians each contacted me because their animals were doing slightly irritating things, like barking incessantly when it was "dinner time" and continuing to bark until their dinner was served, or whining and pawing at their guardian when they wanted their guardian to get off the computer or hang up the phone, and continuing that behavior until they got their way.
The guardians were all hoping I could talk to their animal and ask them to stop the behavior but in each case, the animal let me know that their guardian had trouble setting boundaries and they wanted their guardian to get better at it. They hoped that if they could learn to set boundaries with them (the animal), it would be easier for their mom or dad to set boundaries with the other people in their lives.
It's not an easy thing to share with guardians, as I never want to offend anyone, but I also know the animals are counting on me to open that line of communication, so I do my best to tread lightly and try to gently open that door. I often start with questions such as, "How are you at setting boundaries with people?" and "How comfortable are you at pushing back when people are coming on strong?"
Fortunately, in every case, the guardians readily admitted they could improve their boundary setting skills and are open to exploring how they can do it more easily. And fortunately, they have also been receptive (and appreciative) of the fact that that's what their animal was trying to help them with.
It's not something I am unfamiliar with myself. This is the face that I see, two inches from me, every time I get on the computer. Kino will sit there, staring at me expectantly, often panting whenever I get on the computer. I can feel him thinking,"Are you done yet? Is it time to play yet? Shouldn't you be throwing the ball for me?" I remind him that I have work to do and he will usually lay down and leave me be for a while but he makes sure I get practice every day setting that boundary. :-)I encourage you to pay attention to your animals behavior and see what skill they might be trying to help you develop. Chances are, there is something they are trying to assist you with something that will make your interactions in life easier.
