Animals Can Teach Us About Kindness and Trust

I originally wrote portions of this blog in 2009 . . . The other day, I noticed that it was getting traction again so thought parts of it were worth a re-post. I feel even more strongly than ever that animals deserve so much respect for all they do to teach us while they are here.

Here is it - I hope you enjoy! 

If you read my blog regularly, you know how much I appreciate it when people are kind to one another and kind to animals. As a witness to so much of this kindness, I wanted to share a few of these stories in the hopes that you will be as touched as I have been.

My first story is about animals treating each other with kindness and how important it is to pay attention to what they are telling us. 

I went to one of my client's houses to give Reiki to her cat, Misha. (Yes, this is 2009 when I did all my work in person)  :-) Misha was older and had been dealing with some health issues, so she was getting periodic Reiki treatments to help her stay strong. When I arrived at their house, Misha was laying on the couch where she usually was for her Reiki treatments, and snuggled next to her on the couch was another of my client's cats, Sweet Pea. 

I said hello to them both and then prepared to start working on Misha, when all of the sudden Misha got up and walked to the other side of the couch and sat down. It seemed odd but I moved over to her new position and started to put my hands on her when again she got up and moved - this time back to where she had been sitting before. I was talking to their guardian while this was going on and wasn't paying close enough attention to what Misha was telling me. As I moved back over to where Misha was sitting, I tuned in and heard what she was telling me . . . she felt that Sweet Pea needed the treatment more than she did. 

After telling their guardian what I was picking up, I asked if it was OK with her if we added in some energy work with Sweet Pea on my visit that day. She told me she had wanted to talk to me about Sweet Pea anyway, as she hadn't seemed herself the last few days, so she was happy to have me offer her some energy and see what was going on with her. While I was working with Sweet Pea, Misha just sat there, contently watching us, pleased that I had listened to her and happy that her "sister" was getting the help she needed. 

I had the thought when I first got there . . . that there was a reason Sweet Pea was laying in the "Reiki spot" when I arrived, as it is something she had never done before when I came to work with Misha, but since my appointment was with Misha, I didn't pay enough attention to what I was sensing. Fortunately, Misha was determined to get me to "hear" what I needed to hear.

After about forty minutes of soaking up the energy, Sweet Pea got up from the couch and went into the other room. Immediately, Misha got up and laid down on the couch in front of me. She was telling me that now it was OK for me to give her Reiki. :-)

I was so touched by her kindness, the way she was looking out for her "sister" and making sure she got the help she needed. It was so selfless, so generous, so protective. I was in awe of her, even though I know I shouldn't have been surprised. Animals are so loving and so loyal. It's not something they have to learn, it's just who they are. 

Another beautiful example - also from 2009:  A few weeks ago, I came home to find a message on my machine that warmed my heart to the core. It was a message from an older gentleman I had met more than a year earlier telling me he wanted to give me a book he had read as a thank you for teaching him that he could talk to animals. He said there was a part in this book called “Wesley the Owl,” that made him think of me and what I had taught him. He really wanted me to have the book and I was touched on so many levels.

This man wasn’t a client or someone I had extensive interactions with. We just had one seemingly random conversation but that conversation had obviously impacted him greatly. It was so important to him that he make contact with me that he tracked me down through the vet office I used to work at and was able to get my contact information through them.

As I thought back, I could recall our conversation vividly. He was such a kind man. You could just feel the gentleness of his soul when you were standing next to him. I remember he had told me that there was a feral cat that had been living in his yard for some time. He had been putting out food and fresh water for her every day for ages and while she was obviously content to live there outside his house, she still wouldn’t let anyone come near her. He told me he had noticed in recent weeks that she was no longer eating and that she was losing a lot of weight. He was worried about her and he wanted to get her help but he didn’t know how he’d ever get her to the vet, given how afraid she was of humans.

I could see the sadness and the worry in his eyes. I could feel how much it hurt him to feel so helpless to come to her aid. I remember telling him that he could try talking to her, that he could explain why he was worried about her and ask if she would trust him to take her to a place where she could get some help to feel better. I remember he looked at me oddly, which didn’t surprise me because a lot of people look at me that way when I tell them they can talk to animals, but then he said, “Really?  I can talk to her and she’ll understand?”

I explained to him that while feral cats are slightly more difficult to communicate with, as they haven’t been exposed to as much vocabulary as an indoor cat, I believed that they can understand if we use more simple words. I also told him I believed animals can feel what is in our hearts, so if he focused on his desire to help her, she would feel that too.

Our paths never crossed again and hadn't thought about it over the next year. When I listened to his message, I could sense that his desire to give me the book was so genuine and sincere, I made a point to meet him at his house the next day to accept the book he was offering me. When I got there, I immediately felt the gentleness of his soul again and I was so glad he had found a way to get in contact with me. After a brief discussion about the book, he told me what happened after we had spoken that day.

He said he went home and talked to her, explaining what he wanted to do and why. Much to his delight, he discovered that she did hear him and understand him. And much to his surprise, she did allow him to pick her up and put her into the cat carrier so he could take her to the vet. He told me he never would have thought it was possible but clearly it was and he was so happy that he was able to bring her to see someone and not feel helpless to support her anymore.  He added that it was really important that he let me know he had learned something very important from me that day, that I had changed the way he thought about animals.

As we were standing in his front yard, I looked around and then said “Is she still here?” and he said, 

“No, that’s the sad part of the story, even though she trusted me to bring her to the vet, they weren’t able to make her well. I did everything they suggested but I could never get her to eat again.” 

He went on to tell me that several weeks later, as her condition grew worse and he knew she was in increased pain, he asked her if she'd like him to bring her back to the vet to help her get out of her body . . . and once again, she allowed him to put her in the carrier and take her to the vet one last time.

As my eyes welled up with tears, I told him how sorry I was. She had obviously meant a great deal to him and it made me so sad to think he lost her after all of that. But he had a different take on it entirely.  

He seemed genuinely touched that he had learned that animals could understand him when he spoke to them.  As I could feel his gratitude, another thought washed through me, and it was this . . . because he took a chance and talked to the cat, even though it didn’t result in a prolonged life, what it did do was give them both an opportunity to trust, which I believe was a gift to both of them. 

In her final weeks, she learned it was safe to trust someone and I know it meant a great deal to her, to feel the love and respect that he had for her. For him, this sweet older gentleman, I know it made him feel good to know he was able to help her, even if it was ultimately to help her make her transition. 

And for me, I was touched beyond words to know that a casual conversation I had with a stranger ended up giving both this cat and this loving man an opportunity to have the experience they had. It was a sweet reminder for me that I shouldn't be shy about sharing what I believe to be true about animals, even with strangers.

Lucky's Journey

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about my life with Lucky.  The last 13.5 years, have been filled with trial and triumphs.   She has had an amazing journey, overcoming obstacles that some people never thought she would overcome and showing more bravery and persistence than just about anyone I know.  Together, we have helped each other heal and grow and develop into the beings we were meant to be . . . together we've learned that we're both much stronger than we ever thought and we've learned the true meaning of friendship and love and trust.

This was originally going to be a special mid-week blog in honor of Lucky and her journey but it is taking me so long to do it, it looks like it is going to be "the" entry for the week.  Over the last couple of years, I have been working on a book about Lucky's life but have yet to get it finished and published.  I had always hoped I would get the book done while she was still here but since that may not happen, I thought the next best thing would be to share the short version on her story here.  Besides, it is more fun to write about Lucky's life while she is laying at my feet, rather than trying to do it after she has passed away, given that there's a good chance I'll be a sobbing mess for a while.  And since I finally figured out how to load pictures into my blog,  I thought it would be fun to tell her story with pictures.  

I first heard about Lucky in December of 1995.  I was watching the news and saw a story about puppies that had been found in a dumpster in Hunter's Point.  They were all dead except for two that were hanging on by a thread . . . Lucky and another dog named Sandy.  The dumpster was the location where they had been discarded once they were no longer of any use to the owner of the dog ring.  I couldn't sleep that night . . . in part because I couldn't wrap my mind around the idea that people would have such little regard for an animal's life and I shuttered to think about what those poor dogs had endured, and also because I had wanted a German Shepherd since I was a little girl and something told me that Lucky was the one I was supposed to have.  

When I called the shelter the next day, they told me that about 100 other people had already called wanting to adopt the dogs. They said that if the dogs survived their injuries, they would hold a lottery to determine who their new adopters would be.  Finally on January 12, 1996, Lucky was deemed well enough to be adopted and they held a lottery for her up at SF SPCA.  I guess there's no suspense here . . . I had the winning ticket and became Lucky's new guardian. They estimated Lucky's age at 6 months. (Sandy ended up being well enough to be adopted about a month later)

We were off to a rocky start, when two days after I adopted her, Lucky became very sick and I discovered she had Parvo.  One very long, scary week later, she was finally able to come back home with me.   In the beginning, I had to hand feed her every couple of hours, because her system was so raw from what she had been through. I think about that now, since I am hand feeding her again, and am reminded how sometimes things do come full circle. 

Once she was healthy enough to start venturing outside, I discovered that while Lucky's physical wounds had healed, her emotional wounds had not.  She was afraid of absolutely everything and her reactions were extreme.   If she saw (or heard) another dog, she would drop to the ground and throw up.  Not surprising really, given that for the first 6 months of her life, she was attacked by Pitbulls until she was presumed dead.  (And I have no disrespect for Pitbulls, I know those poor dogs were only doing what they were being told (commanded?) to do, so please don't think I am bad mouthing Pits, just stating the facts of Lucky's early life).

If she heard other sounds that scared her, she would try to dive

under the closest object she could find (table, chair, car, bench) or she would try to flee and she did that with such force, she could almost pull me off my feet.  Around the house, she hid in my closet, in the bathtub, under the coffee table or anywhere else she could find where she could be "safe" from the things are frightened her so much.  And the list of things she was afraid of was a mile long . . . anything plastic (tarps, wind breakers, dry cleaner bags, etc), anything metal (dog tags, keys, loose change, etc) and then a whole long list of random sights and sounds like the washer, the dryer, the coffee pot, kites, baseball bats, tennis rackets, etc. 

We worked hard in the early years trying to help Lucky overcome all of her fears.  It took a lot of baby steps, a lot of diligence and patience on both our parts but eventually, her fears began to diminish.  She was finally able to see and greet other dogs without getting sick.  One of her first friends was another German Shepherd named Tasha whom we used to meet at the park with her guardian Dave.  I can't tell you what a beautiful sight it was to finally see Lucky be comfortable around another dog.  

Unfortunately, all of Lucky's other fears kept her stomach churning and she threw up 8-10 times a week in the first couple of years.  This meant that her diet often consisted of rice and cottage cheese, which was supposed to be more gentle on her stomach. After countless vet visits to rule out stomach problems and other ailments that could cause all that vomiting, I finally began to realize the connection between mind and body . . . and as Lucky's list of fears dimished, so did the frequency of her upchucking.  At any rate, this was a frequent sight back in those days . . . Lucky walking around with rice stuck to her big beautiful black nose.  

Now, I think that's enough of the sad stuff.  Lucky's first couple of years were definitely difficult and challenging  . . . and often heart wrenching for me, as I had to witness the impact of what her early abuse had done to her emotionally and spiritually . . . but pretty soon, she seemed as normal as a dog who had never suffered the type of abuse she had endured.  Fortunately, she started to learn that life could be fun.  

Here is a picture of Lucky having her first convertible ride with my friend Marie and I.  As long as we stayed on surface streets, Lucky enjoyed the experience immensely.  (On the freeway, there was just way too much wind for those big ears of hers).  She liked the fact that she could look around, see into other cars, watch people walking down the street and smell absolutely everything.

Lucky also found that it was fun to join me and my friends on all of our outdoor activities.  Lucky was a "regular" at festivals, (until a lot of them stopped allowing dogs to attend) but she went to countless art and wine festivals, being the cultured dog that she is, and music events in the park.  Here she is at the Strawberry Festival in Los Gatos enjoying some music.

One of the other things Lucky discovered was how much fun it was to play in flip chart paper . . um, I mean, help her mom after a business trip.  :-)  Back when I was an Organizational Development consultant, I would often come home from a business trip with a stack of flip charts from the session I had facilitated.  I would lay them out on the floor so I could type up a summary for the client and Lucky took great pleasure in running across the room and skidding through them . . . and then roll around in them until she had crinkled every single piece of paper. 

That was her version of "helping" and I have to admit, it made the task more enjoyable because she would make me laugh the whole time I was trying to transcribe the notes.

Here is Lucky at our favorite "watering hole", the Black Watch in Los Gatos.  Lucky is enjoying a bowl of ice water, which the bartenders kindly offer to the 4-legged customers who come in. Over the years, Lucky spent a lot of time at The Watch, of course, not on Friday and Saturday nights when it is insanely busy but we'd go in on a weekend afternoon when it was quiet.  We would hang out and visit with friends or sometimes, my friend Marie and I would bring Lucky in there for a cool beverage after we had all gone running.  Marie and I didn't have to drink from a bowl though, they were kind enough to serve our "cool beverage" in a glass.  

Lucky has also always loved the water.  She had a medical condition that caused her to overheat, so a quick dunk in the pool (much to my neighbor's chagrin) would bring her temperature back down when need be.  Tennis balls were also a big part of playing in the water, whether it was dropping them in the swimming pool or in the toilet bowl at home.  (That one was only funny until the day I rushed into the house, in the verge of wetting my pant and found four tennis balls floating in the toilet).  After that, we instituted the "lid down" rule.

We had an annual tradition of going to the Santa Cruz mountains to cut down our Christmas tree.  Lucky loved wandering around the hillside, checking out all the smells and looking at the trees, although she mostly left the tree selection up to me.  Here she's watching our friend Doug to make sure the trees were being secured properly in the back of the truck because one year they weren't and trees started flying out of his truck on the way home.

Here is Lucky, laying on my bed.  Doesn't she look comfortable?  We had a rule about my bed . . . she wasn't allowed to lay on the pillows.  She almost always obeyed the rule . . . although there were a couple times that I got out of the shower and found she had wedged herself in the middle of ALL the pillows at the top of my bed, so that her body and that beautiful shedding hair was touching every single pillow available.  It's hard to get mad at times like that because she looked so cute!  I decided if she broke the rule to lay in the pillows, she must have had a good reason.   Here, she's showing me that she knows where the "line" is . . . the blue is my comforter, the white are the pillows and she seemed quite certain she was "following the rules."

Here is Lucky at the beach . . . one of her most favorite places in the world . . . so we made it a point to go as often as possible over the years, regardless of whether or not it was "beach weather." She loved to drop her ball in the water and then let the tide take it away.  She would watch it intently for a minute or so, then run after the ball and when she finally got to it . . . pounce on it!  Then she'd drop the ball again and see where the surf took it.  In this shot, she was trying to get a surfer to throw the ball for her but he walked right past her and into the water and I think she stared at the ball and then at him for a good couple of minutes before she realized his world didn't revolve around her.  haha

Lucky always enjoyed helping me in the garden.  One of her favorite games was to watch me closely as I was digging a hole to plant a flower and then when I turned the other way to grab the flower, she'd place a tennis ball in the hole.  Sometimes, after I was all done and back inside the house washing up, she'd pull some of the flowers back up.  One year, she kept pulling one particular zinnia out of the pot and placing it gently on the ground, next to the pot.  Artistic expression?  Anyway, here she is resting against one of the flower pots in the yard.  She had obviously worked hard in the yard that day and needed a nap. 

Did I mention how much Lucky has always loved tennis balls?  Here she is in the hall, having a rest after a lively game of "chase the tennis ball in the house" with her large collection of balls.  I used to sit on the couch and throw the balls down the hall towards the laundry room and she'd chase an entire bucket (which held about 80+ tennis balls).  Then she'd lay down and stare at me, waiting for me to refill the bucket and start the game over again.  One of her greatest loves in life has always been a tennis ball.  She loves to chase them, chew on them and de-fuzz them.  She used to fall asleep with them in her mouth, sometimes put them in her bowl while she was eating and as I mentioned above, she used to love to drop them in the toilet as well.  

One of Lucky's other favorite games when she was young was to roll a ball in between the stove and the refrigerator.  She would then lay on the floor, as she is doing here and bark at me for help. It required me having to get a spatula to slide into that small space to retrieve the ball.  I'd then walk out of the kitchen and within two minutes, she'd be barking again for "help" - because strangely, her ball had ended up in that small space again.  :-)  

One weekend, Lucky and I were visiting some friends up in Arnold for the weekend.  Us two-legged folks had been taking turns laying in the hammock and one night, we had gone inside to put our dinner dishes away when I heard a strange sound coming from the back deck.  We looked out the window and saw Lucky climbing into the hammock.  This is just one example of how Lucky has always acted more like a person than a dog, or at least she always seemed to have the attitude that if I could do it, then she should be able to do it as well.  Fortunately for me, she never tried driving the car, so at least she knew where her limits were. 

As I said before, Lucky seemed to think it was OK to do almost everything that I did, so I shouldn't have been surprised by this sight.   A bunch of my friends had come over to celebrate my birthday and I decided to leave the task of picking up empty beer cans for the morning. Well, after Lucky had breakfast that next morning, she went out into the backyard and a few minutes later, I found her holding this Coors light can between her paws, licking the top of it. I guess she had seen everyone at the party holding these cans and seeming to really enjoy themselves, so she wanted to see what all the fuss was about.  :-)  Since the can was empty, she wasn't able to get the 'full experience' but she did have fun imitating me and my friends.  

While Lucky managed to overcome about 98 of of 100 overwhelming fears, there were a couple items on that list of fears that she was never able to over come.  One of them was her fear of baseball bats.  It made going to the park difficult for us, since we couldn't seem to go to any park without running into kids playing baseball.  I searched and searched and finally found a park in our neighborhood that didn't have a baseball diamond.  It was when we started going to this park that I realized what an amazing connection Lucky had with children.  It wasn't long after we started going to this park that Lucky developed her own following . . . children that came to this park specifically to see Lucky.  We tried to stick to a firm schedule (3pm every day) so that her "friends" wouldn't miss her.  They would throw the ball for her and pet her and ask me all the important questions such as: What was Lucky's favorite food?  Where did Lucky sleep?  Did she have to be in bed by a certain time? Did she ever have a time out?  Did she ever have friends over for play dates?

It wasn't long before the kids started to treat Lucky like she was one of the gang and soon she was being invited to birthday parties.  I began bringing my camera to the park with us, so that I could take pictures of Lucky with the child whose birthday party she was going to go to.  (Parties in the park or in people's backyards were invitations we could accept).  Then we would enlarge and frame the picture for Lucky to give as her gift.  Pretty soon, every child at the park wanted to get their picture taken with Lucky, which thrilled her and I was happy to oblige. 

I'll never forget the time that one little girl, who was about 5 or 6 at the time, told me she was planning to invite Lucky to her birthday party.  I told her that was very sweet of her and then she told me that her party was going to be at the Build-A-Bear store in the mall.  Her mom and I tried to explain to her that Lucky probably wouldn't be able to attend her party, as dogs aren't allowed in the mall, but this little girl was not deterred.  She looked at her mom with the most serious face and said "But Mom, if you call them and explain who Lucky is, I know they'll say it's OK."  Needless to say, Lucky didn't go to that birthday party but she was still happy to know she had been invited. 

Here is Lucky with one of her most special friends.  We were at the park and it was winter time.  The sun was going down but she didn't want to leave Lucky.  Her aunt and I tried explaining that Lucky was going to get cold if she didn't go home so she went to the car to get a blanket for them.  She snuggled them both under the blanket and told us that now Lucky could stay longer.  They looked like they were at a slumber party and it was such a precious sight that her aunt and I decided to hang out in the cold and let them spend some more time together. 

Lucky is doing water therapy now.  Since she had hip and spine issues, the water is a wonderful way for Lucky to keep mobile.  Swimming helps keep her muscles strong and gives her a cardio workout as well.  I don't know what we'd do without water therapy.  I doubt Lucky would have done as well as she has this past year if she wasn't getting her water therapy every week.  Unlike most of the other dogs at water therapy who have "fun" in the water, chasing toys, etc, Lucky takes it very seriously.  She's in there to "do a job" (get her muscles feeling better) and she stays focused on the task at hand.  It's a very prominent trait of Lucky's, to be very determined.  She seems to think that if she is going to do something, she is going to give it everything she's got.  And that she does. 

Last January, I needed to have a picture of Lucky and I to submit for an article I wrote for Bay Woof.  A friend of mine offered to take some pictures of us and Lucky and I did our best to pose for some "magazine quality" photos.  It wasn't until we were done with the official picture taking part and started goofing around, that we got some of my favorite pictures.  I love this picture because it captures the essence of our relationship.

Besides Lucky, one of my other favorite things in this world is a band called the subdudes. I listen to them frequently and while I have 50-60 "favorite songs", there is one in particular that grabs my attention every time it comes on.  It's a song called "Don't Doubt It" and there is a line in the song that says "A family sits down to dinner and with folded hands they say, 'Give me another day, show me how to heal and learn how to feel.'"

I think about that song every night when I get into bed and each morning when I peer over the side of my bed and see Lucky sleeping peacefully on the floor next to me, I feel blessed . . . to have another day with my sweet girl . . . my best friend.  She has taught me more in 13.5 years that I ever thought possible, about life and myself and how I want to be in this world.  She has helped me heal in ways that I didn't even realize I needed to heal, and has touched my life in ways that would be impossible to recount.  

I think back to my intense belief as a child that I was supposed to have a German Shepherd and I wonder if Lucky and I didn't make some pact before we left the spirit world that we'd come together on earth so, with her help, I could learn and grow and heal.  I don't know how else to explain the "knowing" that I had as a little girl.  All I do know is, I am the luckiest person in the world to have been graced by her presence all these years.  I hope that I learned everything she came here to teach me.  This has, by far, been the most profound relationship I have ever had.  I know I am a better version of myself than I was before she came into my life and for that, I will be forever grateful to my precious girl.  I know I will do my best to honor her after she's gone by always striving to be the person she believes I am. 

Animals as teachers

I am continually in awe of what a positive impact animals can have in our lives.  I have always believed animals come into our lives to help us to learn and grow but each time I witness it, I am no less astounded by it, no less humbled by it.  

In my work with animals and their guardians, I continue to see evidence that our animals know what we need to learn . . . and then give us the opportunities we need to learn that lesson. 

Sometimes that opportunity comes in what appears to be a "behavioral issue" with the animal and this is part of the reason I am so in awe of animals.  They are willing to look like the "bad guy" for a while, for the sole purpose of helping us learn something.  Several of my clients who have a difficult time setting boundaries or standing up for themselves or making themselves a priority have had animals who pushed them and pushed them until they finally learned what they needed to learn . . . that they were important too.  While it may have been difficult while they were going through it, in the end EVERYONE was happier.  The person felt more empowered and was happier, the animals behavior "improved" and the household became harmonious again.  

Sometimes the lesson comes by an animal experiencing medical issues as a way for us to learn what we need to learn.  My own Lucky can be single-handedly (pawedly) credited with everything I learned about holistic medicine, alternative healing methods, the mind/body connection.   She is the reason I am a reiki practitioner and an animal communicator. Unfortunately, I didn't learn all of that because she said "Hey mom, check this out!"  I learned about all of that because I was determined to help her find a way to recover from all the trauma she had experienced as a puppy.  She took on an enormous amount of pain so that I could get on the right path in life.  (For that, I will be forever grateful).  

I have had clients who learned that they were stronger and far more capable of handling difficult things than they ever though because of what they went through with their animals health.  I have had clients who learned to take time out to be still and stop "doing" all the time, when they realized their animals injury wasn't healing because their animal couldn't stay still either.  I had a client whose animal had cancer and she learned everything she could about alternative treatments and several years later, her animal is still thriving . . . and a year ago, when she got her own cancer diagnosis, she wasn't afraid at all because she had already done all the research and knew how she would approach her healing . . . the same way she had approached healing with her cat.   I had another client who didn't believe in herself or have much confidence, and when she adopted an animal that had the same issue, and helped him believe in himself and become self confident, then she could see how she could do the same thing for herself.

Whenever a new client calls me about a problem they are having with their animal, the first thing that comes into my mind is "I wonder what the animal is trying to teach their guardian." They are almost always trying to teach us something.  I think I will always be in awe of animals and the selfless way they set out to help us be better versions of ourselves.  I think it's only fair that we pay as much attention as possible.

Animals are our teachers

Many times, the animals that come into our lives will show us what we need to work on in our human relationships.  It is as if they are giving us a safe place to work out an issue we need to address and if we can we can work out the issue with our animal, then we can begin to apply those learnings to the other people in our lives.

One of my clients has several cats who were testing the limits with her and in need of some boundaries.  They needed to be told what was ok and what wasn't ok, and they needed her to be consistent.  As I explained to the guardian what they cats needed in the way of boundaries, she shook her head and laughed a little under her breath.  I asked her what was going on and she said "Well, if setting boundaries was easy for me, I'd be doing it with everyone else in my life."  

As we continued to talk, she shared with me how difficult it was for her to set boundaries and how frustrated she felt that the people in her life took advantage of her.  She said she often felt like a doormat but she felt powerless to change the dynamic.

I encouraged her to try first with the cats because I sensed that was part of the their purpose in her life and I knew they would be patient and understanding as she developed this new skill. 

She was willing to try and I give her a tremendous amount of credit because it wasn't easy at first.  She would set a boundary with the cats and then that old tape would start playing in her head, telling her it wasn't ok for her to ask for what she wanted and if she set limits, she was somehow being unkind to others.  She hung in there though and kept at it.  Within a few weeks, the behaviors we were trying to change with the cats did begin to change, for the better.  She started to feel empowered and began embracing the idea that it truly was ok for her to say "this is not ok" to someone.  

Over the weeks that followed, she began trying to set boundaries with family members.  The old tape still attempted to play in her head, but she had a recent success to draw from and she knew that even though she set boundaries with her cats, they still loved her and respected her, so she stayed in a place of confidence.  Her relationships with her family members have started to improve.  

If you have a pet, take a look at what your challenges are with that pet and then ask yourself if you have that same problem with people in your life.   If so, your pet may be offering you an opportunity to develop a new skill, so that you can improve all the relationships in your life.  Animals enjoy being our teachers, they like helping us become better versions of ourselves, so don't be afraid to practice first with your animals.  They will be happy they were able to help you and you might be amazed at how other relationships in your life can become more fulfilling.