Building Trust

 Last month, I shared a post from the incredible folks at the Global Sanctuary for Elephants. The post detailed the sacred journey the elephants were navigating to process their feelings about the departure of one of the elephants at the sanctuary. 

As I mentioned in that post, my respect and appreciation for Scott and Kat who run the sanctuary is beyond words. They understand and respect animals in the same way that I do and I am often moved to tears when I read their updates. They are such an inspiration and not only do they do wonderful work on behalf of the elephants but they also are making incredible strides in educating people about the depth of animals. 

Today was one of those days so I am sharing what they wrote about the process of building trust with the elephants who are in their care.  I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. (and as an added bonus, I'm also including the beautiful picture of Rana) 

We have been interviewing for new caregivers at the sanctuary recently, and one of the candidates asked an interesting question that gave us a chance to reflect. She wanted to know if the elephants here at the sanctuary have a high level of trust toward Scott and Kat because the two traveled to pick them up at their old life, and bring them to Elephant Sanctuary Brazil. 

That’s an interesting theory, but the reality is that it’s more than that. While Kat may have sometimes visited elephants before transport, (with the exception of Ramba) she does not travel with the rescue caravan. Instead, she stays at the sanctuary to oversee care of the elephants already here. Though Scott does travel with the elephants to their new home at the sanctuary, there seems to be a larger element at play. 

For instance, Scott led the team that moved Lady to ESB, but Lady built up a trusting relationship with Kat first. It took longer for Lady to open up with Scott and, for whatever reason, allow herself to be vulnerable. She did not arrive with a loyalty towards him above others; if anything, she insisted he prove himself to a higher degree than anyone else. Trust does not occur with elephants only because of the hours spent with them bringing them to their new home. Part of your purpose is to facilitate a new life for them and to honor all that comes with that new life, outside of your own role. Significant trust is something that takes time, is continuously built on day after day, and can be lost at any moment.

Trust can come from things like a daily routine, or the understanding that care we offer is helping them to feel better, but the bedrock of building relationships with the elephants in our care is hearing what they communicate that they need from us - not who met whom first. Truly, respect comes when you honor the space and the life that belongs to them. It’s not about us and our egos or hangups (although it can be difficult for people to not get lost in how wonderful elephants make you feel when you are around them); it’s about what they need for us to be. Sometimes it’s most important for them to be standing on their own and finding their way in a manner that’s completely separate from their relationships with humans. Our job, as those helping to foster their healing, is to recognize and appreciate the significance of each step in their journey, regardless of what it means for us personally.

My Chat With Todd

Todd Medina is someone I have followed for years. He has a show called Soulspeaks 5D where he brings people on - in his words "to just chat." People from all over the world come on his show to share their experiences, their insights, etc. as a way of supporting others who are on a similar path. It's like a giant library of information that is shared from people's hearts and their souls - all for the purpose of assisting others who are growing and learning and trying to navigate this crazy world we are living in right now.

Initially, I was drawn to his shows because he is someone who isn't afraid to be honest, real and vulnerable - which was like music to my ears. Through his shows he gives people a platform to share their gifts and knowledge with others and he has this amazing ability to hold space for people - which allows them to step more fully into who they authentically are.

Last week, I had the absolute pleasure of getting to have one of those chats with Todd Medina on Soulspeaks 5D. In the first half of the show, we talk about my healing journey (which basically is a synopsis of my book Lucky For Me that came out earlier this year) and the second half of the show we talk about what I do and how I work with people and animals. We also discuss what I've learned from animals over the years and how our pets can play a pivotal role in our personal transformations if we are open to their guidance. 

If you are interested in listening to our chat, below I've shared the link to the show. 

If you are on a spiritual path and looking for some inspiration to "keep on keeping on" you might want to check out some of Todd's other chats, which can be found on youtube on his channel: Soulogyonestudios. 

For those of you who are interested in learning more about my book Lucky For Me - a Journey of Healing and Self-discovery, I have also included a link to the publisher's website, where you can read the book summary and/or make a purchase.

Finally, if you'd like to learn more about my work with animals and people, I welcome you to check out my website, Healing Animal Truths.  (link provided below)

My chat with Todd

My book - Lucky For Me

My website

A Transition at the Elephant Sanctuary

There is a wonderful elephant sanctuary in Brazil that I follow. The couple who run the sanctuary, Scott and Kat, are some of the most beautiful souls I have ever seen. Sometimes reading their updates on the elephants and hearing about the way they are treated at the sanctuary brings tears to my eyes. Scott, Kat and their team truly understand and embody the importance of love, respect and patience with animals. I continue to be deeply touched by the way they honor and respect these beautiful creatures.

It was with great sadness that they reported today that one of the elephants at their sanctuary passed away yesterday, yet when I read about the respect, love and deep honoring between the animals in their update today, I just knew this needed to be shared. My hope is that it will help others bear witness to the depth that animals have and how much respect they are worthy of. If you follow their page on Facebook, you will likely be awed by the humility and grace that Scott and Kat exemplify. They truly embody the understanding of how animals deserve to be treated.

If you are interested in learning more about this incredible sanctuary, you can find them on Facebook at Global Sanctuary for Elephants. Their website site, which is full of incredible information about how and why they created the sanctuary, lovely information about each elephant that is there as well as ways you can support them is: https://globalelephants.org

It is with heavy hearts that we announce this morning that Pocha passed away last evening. While we don’t yet know the cause of death, a necropsy will be done shortly to help us determine what happened - though we may not have results right away.

While Pocha was in Mendoza we did, on occasion, see small signs that made us worry that she had underlying health issues, but nothing was ever diagnosed. When she and Guillermina arrived here at Elephant Sanctuary Brazil, she had had an instance where she became tired and was a little slower to eat but, after a multivitamin shot, she improved. A few days ago, we noticed that she was picky with her hay, though she was still grazing and enjoying all of the produce that she was given. After a vitamin shot last night, she looked brighter and, though still tired, had more light in her eyes. However, when we returned to check on her later in the evening, we found that she had passed.

Guillermina, who was sharing the yards near the barn with her mother, gave long rumbles to call her friends - and you could hear them rumbling back to her. Once we opened the gates for the other girls to enter, Bambi, Mara, and Rana were there waiting to be with Guille. Rana walked over to Pocha with Guillermina for a few minutes and then went back to the others. Next, Bambi walked over, but stayed at a distance, somewhat wide-eyed and looking concerned. After Bambi returned to the other girls, Mara came and stayed with Guille and Pocha. After that, one by one, the other girls returned, this time Bambi backing up to Pocha, smelling her and caressing her face. Just after midnight, they all stood on different sides of Pocha, quiet and relaxed, having one of those elephant moments that only they understand. A little before 4 am, Maia also came to be with Guillermina.

Each girl stood nearby, some longer than others, and observed Pocha’s body with respect. Elephants have an innate ability to communicate with each other in ways we will never understand and that’s what appeared to be happening among this group of herd mates. With all of our years working with elephants, we have never seen this level of herd support given to another during a passing. Their support is proving much more familial in nature than we have witnessed at sanctuary in the past and, although sad, there is also something incredibly beautiful about what is taking place.

As she is coming to understand what has happened to Pocha, Guillermina has been very gentle with her mother. She touches her and smells her and caresses her with her trunk, seeming to sense that her mother is no longer of this earth. While Guille didn’t stand completely over her mother’s body (which elephants sometimes do), she did very gently maneuver her feet over Pocha’s front legs and stayed there for a while.

Though this is a difficult time and it can be hard to process such a loss, we have gratitude toward Pocha for the love and stability she was able to provide to Guillermina for 24 years. Once the two were at sanctuary, she was able to see her daughter experience true joy and begin to build relationships with other elephants - something that might have only been a dream for Pocha. There were moments when you could see Pocha watching Guille with the other elephants, and she had the brightest look on her face. We also hold a great sense of relief that both made the journey to sanctuary before Pocha’s passing, so that Guillermina is not processing her grief alone; she now has other elephants to turn to. Perhaps Pocha had a sense that her time at sanctuary was short and encouraged Guille to branch out, enjoy life with friends, explore nature, and truly discover what life as an elephant is meant to be. 

In a few short months, she was able to remember that the world was more than just a concrete wall in front of her. In actuality, life could be big and beautiful and filled with opportunity - and she was also able to give that big life to her daughter with love and a sense of immense pride.

Another Bit of Synchronistic Magic

I had the pleasure of experiencing some more of that "synchronistic magic" connected to my book and am excited to share it with all of you in the hopes that it helps you recognize these moments when they are showing up in your life too. It was particularly magical because I wasn't seeking anything at the time - just following my inner-guidance. 

There is someone I "know" from a few on-line communities I am a part of who invited me to attend a zoom call she was putting together with a few other like-minded souls that are friends of hers.  I knew instantly I would participate. No hesitation, no questioning . . . it was an immediate yes for me. 

*This is often a component of "synchronistic magic" - when you feel the "yes" immediately, almost as if it bypasses your mind completely and you just KNOW you're in. You may also notice that you have zero expectation of what will come about as a result. You're just saying "yes!" because it feels right.

While on the call, I felt very drawn to the peaceful energy of one of the other participants. I couldn't help noticing the way she held space for everyone while others were talking. Her energy was gentle and supportive but very strong and grounded as well. I felt nudged to send her a note the next day to tell her how much I appreciated her energy. (Something I am often too shy to do.)

*This is also a common component of "synchronistic magic" - when you feel an inner nudge to do something, even if you aren't sure why. You just know it feels "right" in your heart, even if you are a little nervous to do it.

I sent her an email and after a little back and forth, I found out that she (Paula) is also an author who, like me, published her first book this year. We decided to buy a copy of each other's books - again another "immediate yes" - no "thinking" required. :-) 

I had just started another book when her book arrived so some time had passed between when I ordered/received her book and when I got started on it. After the first few chapters, I felt inspired to email her and tell her how much I was already enjoying her book. I randomly decided to mention that my delay in starting it was because there was another book that I wanted to finish reading before I started hers. 

*This is another common component when you are riding the wave of Synchronistic Magic. You observe yourself saying or writing something that you hadn't previously intended - it just kind of pops out of your mouth or springs from your fingertips. 

As I continued to soak up and savor the beauty and insights of her book, I was in awe of how many similarities there were between her book and mine AND the one I had just finished. While they are different stories and very unique in their own way, they somehow all seemed to dovetail together. It was as if they were all woven together into the same tapestry. 

Three different people, writing three completely different books from three different perspectives. One was fiction, the other two were memoirs and yet there was so much in these three books that were the same . . . insights - nuggets of wisdom, etc. The "main characters" experienced different challenges, followed different paths, the authors used different terminology to describe the journey and yet they revealed so many of the same discoveries. I was amazed by the fact we were all finding a way to share our understanding of such similar concepts.

Once she finished reading my book, she emailed me to tell me how much she enjoyed it. Excitedly I told her about how I could feel these threads of connection between her book, my book and the one that I had read right before hers. It was then that I shared what the other book was . . . 

And that was the next jaw dropping moment of the Synchronistic Magic . . . the book at the top of HER reading pile that she planned to start next was the SAME BOOK . . . . The Alchemist by Paolo Coelho. I'm telling you, you just can't make this stuff up!  This is what Paula refers to in her book as PFM's - Pure Freakin' Magic! 

*When this happens - these moments of PFM - it's extremely likely that more things will reveal themselves in surprising ways . . . connections (meeting the next right person) or ideas (a random thought pops into your head that you hadn't considered before) etc.  The key is to just stay open and see what comes next.

The more they happen, the less surprised we are when they happen and yet my giddy reaction to having experienced another one of these PFM's never lessens! They are the things that tell me I am on the right track, they are my sign posts, my encouragement to keep moving ahead, confirming that I am "in flow."

How do you know when you are having a PFM moment? You might find yourself thinking "Could this really be?" "How is this possible?" You might notice a quickening of your heart rate or notice your breathing changes (to either deeper or more shallow with each in-breath).  For me, these moments are often accompanied by a buzzing in my ears or goosebumps up my arms. Sometimes it is a smile so big it makes my eyes squint or my hands automatically swoop up and cover my heart, as I breathe it in and savor the moment. There is no "right" way to experience a PFM moment. (Just pointing out a few of the things I've noticed in myself in the hopes that it might help some of you recognize them as well)

I truly believe the energy of this magic is all around us - whether you call them synchronicities, or PFMs or any other descriptor . . . what we call them is less important than just observing them when they happen and watching them unfold. The more we see the magic and ride the waves, the more magic we will likely encounter.

So listen to your heart and your inner-nudges, notice when you find yourself saying "yes" to something that you can feel in your heart (that by-passes the thinking/processing of our mind) and then stay open to seeing what shows up next!  

Right now, I think most of us could really benefit from experiencing more magic in our lives - to lift our spirits and show us what else is possible . . . My wish for all of humanity is that these beautiful moments become more and more noticeable to everyone because I believe in my heart that we all deserve them and so much more!!!

Misunderstandings

It seems we are surrounded by so many "opportunities" for misunderstandings. I have observed time and again how upset and frustrated people can get on both sides of the coin - whether you are the person who is communicating or the person who is being communicated to. Unfortunately miscommunications can lead us to judge the people who didn't follow what we thought was a clear message. It can also lead us to judgement toward the person who communicated -  for asking people to do something that just sounds outlandish. (Of course, misunderstandings can create all sorts of unexpected twists and turns  - these are just a couple examples). Bottom line, misunderstandings can happen very easily. 

Whenever I see this meme it makes me giggle so much. At the same time it articulates this point so perfectly!  So often we think we are being super clear when in fact what we are saying is as confusing as this sign! 

Sometimes all that is needed is to repeat what we "heard" and ask from a place of curiosity if we have received the message as intended. We could say something like "I want to make sure I've got this right - you want me to do "x?" and upon hearing how we received the message, the person communicating the message has the opportunity to hear how their message was received and if appropriate re-clarify what they really meant to articulate.

I've found that we can usually clear up a misunderstanding rather quickly if we are willing to speak up as soon as possible. Not from a place of frustration though (or dripping in sarcasm). If we can truly come from a place of curiosity, the situation can often be resolved in a matter of minutes. Occasionally it can even lead to some shared laughter when the message giver hears how the message was received.

Something to ponder anyway. Or maybe you can just have a laugh if that's what you need today.

I don't know who created this hilarious meme so I can't give proper credit. If anyone knows who it is, please let me know so I can thank them for all the giggles it has given me! 

Don't Stop Believing in Humanity

When I was in college, I was on the rowing team. Practice was at 5am, which was brutal enough but the closer it got to finals and the later into the evening I had to study, the harder it was to get my sleep deprived body up with that morning alarm. One particular morning, I woke up to see I had less than 5 minutes to get myself dressed and to the bus stop around the corner where our team bus picked up those of us in the surrounding dorms. I don't know if I forgot to set the alarm or if I set it and slept through it - all I knew is that I had to get MOVING. I managed to get sweats on, several layers of shirts and my socks when I heard the sound of the bus down the street. 

Grabbing my jacket and my tennis shoes, I went running out of my dorm room, flying down the steps outside hoping to make it in time. Luck wasn't on my side, as the bus pulled away from the curb before I could even make it across the grass in front of my dorm. The thing was I HAD to be at practice. Coach had been very clear - if we missed a practice that week, we would not be able to participate in the Regatta that weekend - so I needed to get to practice. Running behind the bus, I screamed and wildly waved my right arm, while my left hand clutched my tennis shoes and my jacket. There was half melted snow on the ground so my wool socks were quickly becoming very wet and very heavy but I refused to let that slow me down. I just kept running . . . yet when I heard Fr. Siconolfi shift the bus into a higher gear, I could feel my heart sink. There was no way I'd catch the bus now.

Just then a man pulled up in a small blue truck. He rolled down the passenger window (which he had to do by hand - this was in the 80's after all) and yelled "Do you need to catch that bus?" Gasping for air, all I could do was nod my head yes, so he opened the door from the inside and motioned for me to get in. Diving into the front seat of his truck, we were on the move before I had even pulled the door all the way closed. He quickly shared that his sons had played football and he knew how important it was to never miss a practice. 

I'm pretty sure he ignored all the posted speed limit signs as we flew down the road, making a hard left, then a hard right at the next corner. We were then on the two-lane straight part of the road. I remember this kind man had a very hot cup of coffee in a paper cup wedged between his legs so he could keep shift gears to keep pace with the bus and I also recall worrying several times that it was going to spill on him. 

Fortunately for me, he seemed as determined as I was to not have me miss practice so he did his best to stay lined up with the bus. Continuing to flail my arms wildly while yelling to get his attention, Father Siconolfi remained oblivious to the girl hanging out the window of the small blue truck. Fortunately one of my teammates, in their hazy sleep deprived state, finally noticed me and got him to pull over. Quickly thanking the man, I grabbed my tennis shoes and jacket and made a beeline for the bus. 

Over the years whenever I shared this story, hoping people would understand why I believed in the good side of humanity (and why I loved Spokane so much), most of the time they didn't get it. The part that most people latched onto was that "I got into a stranger's truck." They responded with things like "He could have been a serial killer" and "Maureen you are just way too trusting." (Geez, what if I was the serial killer? He would have been the one putting his life in danger by stopping to help me!!) LOL

I have continued to share the story though - in an attempt to illustrate my belief that there are wonderful people everywhere - people who are willing to lend a hand - showing up when we need them most and going the extra mile. At times we may have to pay more attention to notice these genuine acts of kindness but they are out there and they are in more places than we see reported on mainstream media. 

I have thought of the kindness of this man so many times in the last thirty some odd years and I still feel so much gratitude for his help that day. What he did for ME has inspired me over the years to keep being there for others. Sometimes when my faith in humanity wobbles a bit, all I have to do is pull up the memory of that morning and I am instantly reconnected with the remembrance what he did for me that day and the faith that it instilled in me - that there are people like him all over the world. 

My only regret from that morning was that I never got his name so I was not able to thank him properly or as profusely as my heart wanted to. So this post has three purposes:

1) To encourage people to look for the good in humanity. If you take the time to look, you will see examples and it will likely result in you noticing even more of the ways people are being there for each other. (And let's face it, how can that not put a smile on your face and in your heart.)

2) To inspire people to stay open to the opportunities where they can assist and support others and be the illustration of the goodness that exists in the world. You may never know how many ripples of kindness it will create yet I have seen evidence time and again where someone's act of kindness inspired someone else to do something kind. We have the power to make our humanity a force to be reckoned with. It is my belief that every effort can and will make a difference.

3) That someone who lived in Spokane back in the 80s might know a man who drove a small blue truck and would have been on his way to work at 5:00 in the morning, who has sons who played football. My hope is that by some miracle he will somehow end up seeing this. It would make me so very happy if he knew how grateful I was and still am for his help that morning and how much he has inspired me over the years. The funny thing is that I don't think we even did all that well in the Regatta that weekend but I got to be there and I got to row because thanks to him I didn't miss practice that morning. 

If you feel moved to share actions - either witnessed or done by you - that have restored your faith in humanity, please feel free to write about them in the comments. I'd love to see them and I bet others would too. 

ps: I keep thinking about the movie Powder (1995) and how a line in the movie gave me such huge goosebumps that I wrote it on a post-it note and placed it on the refrigerator so I would see it every day (and it was there for decades). If I recall correctly, Jeff Goldblum's character said something like "My hope is that one day our humanity will surpass our technology." That was and still is something I hope to experience as well and I truly believe that we have the ability to create it.

Give Yourself Permission to Just Be You

From the beginning of my career, I had a bit of trouble fitting-in to the corporate world. I guess I wasn’t good at “playing the part” because I longed to be me, to be valued for who I was and what I brought to the “party.” I was also a people-pleasers so I constantly felt the push and pull between those two sides of the spectrum – feeling like no matter what choice I made, it wouldn’t be the “right” choice.

Early in my 20s, I was told I should never wear heels when I taught a workshop and that I should sit down as much as possible because at 5’11” I was apparently too intimidating. I was also told I needed to invest in wool gabardine slacks, some high neck blouses and a string of pearls. How was that going to improve the experience of the participants if I was dressed like my grandmother? Why wasn’t it ok for me to just be ME?

When I went into consulting, I was told I should wear long sleeves and pants because companies wouldn’t want to hire a consultant with a tan. Apparently having a tan would suggest I was charging too much or not working hard enough – but I had decided to be a consultant in part because having a work/life balance was really important to me. If walking on the beach or hiking on sunny trails helped me be more present and energized when I was working with clients, why should that be hidden? I found it especially confusing when these were companies claiming that a strong work/life balance was part of their culture or mission. Over the years, peers questioned my use of humor and my willingness to share my own vulnerability while I was working with clients, suggesting that it wasn’t “professional.” I saw how my approach helped my clients feel comfortable opening up and engaging more deeply in what we were doing (whether it was a class or a session I was facilitating or someone I was coaching) so I didn’t want to stop making them laugh or sharing my vulnerabilities. I didn’t want to stop bringing “me” to the table. 

 

Before I left the corporate world, I was chastised for not having glitzy enough graphics and animation in my presentations. I was told that training participants wanted to be entertained and to feel that I was relatable. Since most of my clients were in the tech world, I was told I needed to use more technology in my presentations. Yet I was less interested in the presentation portion of the workshops I taught or sessions I facilitated as I felt it was more important to get folks engaged in the material. To me, group exercises and discussions where they could really work with the material and get a sense of how to USE the concepts I was sharing once they were back at work seemed more important. Many companies were more interested in meeting their goals for the quarter, which were often about the # of employees they put through training and how many them were “happy” with the training or the # of off-site meetings the manager held. What mattered to me was what the employees were able to do AFTER the session – once they were back at work. Were they able to implement the concepts we worked with? Or were they encountering roadblocks because of broken processes and people issues that were higher up the chain? That was what I cared about yet it was where the disconnect often was. It was confusing to me when companies would spend so much money on training or off-sites but not care as much about what employees were able to do with it afterward.

 

I’m not complaining or trying to shame anyone for the unsolicited “advice” I received or the lack of alignment I felt. I’m just offering up a few examples of how sometimes it is difficult to fit into a mold or play a part that doesn’t feel totally aligned with who we truly are. Was I a fit for every client? No and I didn’t expect to be. What I did want was opportunities to work with companies and individuals who were in alignment with how I wanted to show up in the corporate world. 

 

Fortunately when I do dip my toes back into the corporate world, it is because I have found individuals and companies that accept me for me and value what I have to offer. I have met executives who want my help to understand what the roadblocks are to their employees being as effective as possible. I have had the great fortune of working with a few executives who will jump right in and start removing those roadblocks, whether it is fixing a process or addressing a people issue that is keeping their employees from being fully empowered in their jobs.

 

So why am I sharing this? I am offering it up for folks to consider because if there is one thing I have learned as I have gotten older is that there is nothing wrong with being ourselves. I believe that WHO each of us are individually is truly our gift to the world. It is where our value lies and where our greatest and strongest contributions can be made. 

I recognize that not everyone is plagued with the same issues I was but for those who are – if you happen to be someone who is feeling the pull between being YOU and fitting in, I hope you might feel inspired to bring more of the real you to the table. I also offer encouragement to not be afraid to step outside the box and be yourself. There is a wonderful feeling of freedom that comes when we allow ourselves to drop the mold we are trying to fit ourselves into and bring more of our true selves to the table!