Others Can Learn From Our Mistakes

The other day,  when Angel and I were out for a walk, we ran into an old friend of mine from my "dog park days."  We hadn't seen each other in years so we gave each other the "Readers Digest" version of what had transpired since we saw each other last, and expressed sympathy to one another for the dogs that are no longer with us.

Then the gal said, "Over the years, I have told SO many people the Oleander Story.  You have saved so many lives.  No one I have told the story to knew how poisonous oleander bushes were."  Then she proceeded to tell me about the time her horse grabbed a mouth full of oleander and how quickly she jumped into action to fish every bit of it back out of his mouth, and how grateful she was to know about me and Lucky's experience.

Inside I cringed, as I flashed back to "the story" . . . part of me still holds it as "the time I almost killed Lucky" . . . so it is difficult for me to see it in the positive, but I did my best to focus on the benefits.  If Lucky and I hadn't gone through that terrible ordeal, and if people hadn't continued to share the story, many animals lives might have been lost.

It was many years ago, when Lucky was still struggling with her fear of sounds.  I thought having a fountain in the backyard would help soothe her and possibly drown out some of the neighborhood sounds that we couldn't avoid.  It definitely helped because Lucky was able to spend more time hanging out in the backyard with me, so I was pleased with myself.  One day, I had this "bright" idea that I would dress up the fountain by floating flowers in it.  I picked some pretty white flowers from the bushes in my complex and put them in the fountain.

A couple of days later, Lucky became sick . . . and I mean sick.  She was throwing up hourly, she couldn't even keep water down.  She was becoming so weak that I had to help her walk to the backyard, and there were more and more incidents of her not making it to the backyard before she threw up.  We were both wiped out and sleep deprived.

I called my vet and he said it definitely sounded like she had been poisoned.  He quizzed me about all the places Lucky and I had been in the previous few days to try and figure out what she could have possibly gotten into.  I couldn't come up with any answers and I was scared.

That night one of my friends came over.  I was blathering on about what was happening with Lucky, and how frightened I was, then continued to ramble about how I had made a fountain to help Lucky with her sound fears and how I had been floating flowers in the fountain but had removed them before she got there and hadn't replaced them.  She asked me what flowers I had used and I mentioned the bushes out front.  Her eyes nearly popped out of her head and she said, "Mo, those are OLEANDERS"

I thought I was going to throw up.  I was so upset with myself for the fact that it was ME that had made Lucky sick.  I called my vet immediately and he said if I could bring over some of the oleander, he could make an antidote for Lucky . . . which I did and the antidote worked . . . and within a day or so Lucky was fully recovered.

Once Lucky was out of danger, my vet wanted to know how Lucky came into contact with oleanders.  I confessed that I had put them in the fountain to make it "prettier."  He asked if Lucky was drinking the water in the fountain and I flashed on images of Lucky dropping her tennis ball in the fountain and then fishing it back out.  He said I was basically making "Oleander Tea" and that we were lucky that Lucky hadn't died.

So I learned what an oleander bush looked like (Growing up, we had just referred to them as "the freeway flower" since they were planted in the median and on the sides of the freeway).  I learned that every part of an oleanders is equally poisonous (flower, stem, leaves), and I also learned that the darker the color, the more poisonous they are (so I was grateful that I had at least picked the white ones instead of the hot pink ones).

It took me a long time to make peace with myself over the fact that while trying to do something to help Lucky, I actually hurt her.  I thought I had forgiven myself for it but I could tell from my reaction, when my old dog park friend mentioned the story, that I still hold some guilt and shame over it.  I had made it my mission to help Lucky recover from what other people had done to hurt her.  Never in a million years did I think that *I* would end up hurting her as well, even though it wasn't intentional.

In the hopes that others can continue to learn from my mistakes, I am sharing this story . . . feel free to pass it on to others.  The more people who know about the dangers of oleanders, the safer our pets will be.

My New Friend Angel

Last week, I met a wonderful German Shepherd named Angel.   Originally, I went to meet her with the intention of determining if I should adopt her but I realized very quickly that we were meeting for another reason.

Angel's guardian had to move to an assisted living facility that doesn't allow large dogs.  His son and his girlfriend are now Angel's guardians but because of their long work hours, Angel is alone too much each day.  Consequently, she is bored, she is anxious  . . . and she is running rings into the lawn in the backyard.  They are looking for a new family for Angel so that she will receive the love and attention that she deserves.

I sensed that Angel and I weren't supposed to become roommates but I immediately felt like I should offer to take Angel out for exercise whenever I had some free time.  Fortunately for both Angel and I, they welcomed it and have given me permission to come by anytime I want and take her out.

On our first walk, it felt so good to be walking with a German shepherd again, I couldn't stop smiling.  She was thrilled to be out for a walk and quite honestly, the exercise is really good for me too since I got a little carried away eating Girl Scout cookies last month.

The next time I went, I made sure I wore tennis shoes instead of flip flops, since Angel really wants to walk FAST and I could barely keep up with her on our first walk.  I have found myself scanning my calendar for openings in my schedule where I can go visit her because I can't wait to see her again.  Being around her makes me very happy.

So, it seems that Angel and I need each other right now.  We both need some exercise and we both need some companionship  . . . and so we have the ingredients for a perfect friendship.

The "lost art"

The other day, both my neighbor and I were sitting in our own backyards.  We weren't conversing over the fence, as we sometimes do but just quietly enjoying the weather, and me, my crossword puzzle.

After a little while, the silence was broken by the sound of her six year old daughter opening the back door and announcing "I added a flower!"  A few minutes later, she opened the door again and announced, "I added some fishes!" . . . As the announcements continued, I surmised that she must be painting a picture and was obviously so excited about it, she wanted her mom know about each addition to her masterpiece.

Then came the sound of screaming and crying . . . I was alarmed at first, worrying that my little neighbor had injured herself but then I realized she was yelling at the family dog.  Within minutes, she and the dog were in the backyard and through her tears, she was telling him he couldn't go back into the house until he told her why he had ruined her life.  The little girl continued to cry as she said, "Why do dogs have to come in and ruin little girl's lives?"

I didn't mean to be eavesdropping, but it was kind of hard not to.  I wondered what Cricket could have possibly done to ruin her life.  Just then I got an image in my mind of Cricket standing over the little girl's artwork, admiring her accomplishment . . . as water dripped off his muzzle and all over the painting.

I could feel how much he had wanted to share in her excitement and show his appreciation for what she had done.  I could also feel how terrible he felt that he had ruined her painting.  I wished there was something I could do - I felt so bad for the little girl and for Cricket - but I didn't think it was my place to intervene.

As time went on, her approach softened a bit and she was no longer talking about him ruining her life.  In a calm voice, I heard her tell him that he needed to tell her why he ruined her picture, or he wasn't going to be able to go back in the house.  She must have picked up the same thing I did from him (that he just wanted to admire her artwork and that he felt really bad about ruining it) because the next thing I knew, she and Cricket were heading back into the house.

From the sounds of things, she and Cricket are back to being the best of friends and I have a feeling he'll think twice about drinking a bunch of water before he admires anything else of hers.

 

No More Chances

For those of you who read my blog regularly, you know that Lucky told me before she passed that she would come back to me in a few years.  When I asked how I would find her, I was told to look for a german shepherd named Chance.  Ever since then, that has been my "mission" - to find a german shepherd named Chance.

Last spring I found one and was over the moon when the guy who ran the rescue group decided I would be the perfect adopter . . . and then Chance's foster mom decided she wanted to keep him herself and well, I felt pretty "under the moon" after that.

Once I got over that disappointment, I got back on my quest and have spent the last 9-10 months continuing to look for Chance. I often wondered if I should give up and just get any German shepherd because I miss having one so much, but ultimately I decided to keep having faith and trust that it would all work out.

Two weeks ago, I found another German shepherd named Chance and it looked like it was all coming together.  As I prepared the house and yard for my new roommate, I was beyond excited thinking about how wonderful it was going to be to finally be with "Lucky Chance" (as my friend's call him) again. I didn't imagine it could fall through again . . . and yet, it did.  It felt like the ultimate smack down.

I have always believed that if the same thing happens to us again, it is because we didn't learn the lesson that was there for us the first time.  I have spent much of the last week pondering this, trying to open my mind and my heart to whatever lesson I may have missed.  I don't have any answers yet.

What I have decided is that it is time to abandon my "quest" - the information I received may have been very true and accurate at the time I got it, but a lot of time has passed since then and maybe things have changed.  Sometimes "staying the course" isn't the best approach . . . and in this case, I think it's time to change the course.  I know that once I grieve the loss of the dream, I will be able to open my heart to another German shepherd, by whatever name he or she comes with.  I'm not there yet, but maybe some day soon.

Animals Read Energy

Recently after a nice long walk on the beach, I sat down in the sand to soak up some sun and enjoy watching some surfers.  I was enjoying the peacefulness of it all when out of the corner of my eye, I saw a dog running towards me at a pretty fast pace.  When he got to me, he skidded to a stop and then proceeded to kiss my entire face as he wiggled and wagged all around me.  When his guardians finally caught up to him, they said, "You know, he can spot a dog lover from a mile away." We all laughed and then they continued on their way.   Not more than ten or fifteen minutes later, again I saw a dog running full steam ahead in my direction and when she got to me, I got yet another face cleaning.  The even funnier part was that when her guardians finally caught up to her, they said, "Rosie can spot a dog lover from a mile away."

I sat there thinking about how cool it was that these dogs could sense from such a far distance that I would be totally ok with the exuberant greeting I received . . . and I smiled as I thought of countless examples where dogs read the energy of the people around them and even cooler was that, through their behavior, they tried to communicate what they were sensing.

Many years ago, I had a client who ran a business out of her home.  One day, her dog Leon growled at the man she was meeting with, which was totally out of character for Leon.  She put him in his crate to make sure everyone stayed safe, but Leon continued to bark and growl the entire time the man was there.  After completing a large design project for the man, he skipped town and never paid her a penny.  She realized that Leon probably sensed something in the man's character and was trying to let her know.  From that day forward, she always paid attention to how Leon responded when they were meeting a new client and she never regretted it.

I had another client whose dog, who normally loved everyone, began exhibiting new and concerning behaviors when she started dating someone new.  Her dog, Ginger, would attack this guy's feet, whether he was walking in the door or just sitting on the couch.  Ginger also started ripping up whatever paper she could get her mouth on when he was there.  At first, my client thought Ginger was just jealous but soon she discovered that this new guy wasn't who he had presented himself to be and was actually quite deceitful.  Clearly, Ginger was sensing something in his energy.  The next guy my client dated ended up being a really nice guy who never received anything but love from Ginger.

Have your animals ever reacted oddly to a person they just met?  Either positive or negatively?  Whenever animals exhibit behavior that is out of character for them, I believe we should pay attention to what they might be trying to tell us.  After all, they are much more skilled than most of when it comes to reading energy.

Be Kind To Yourself

Last week, a gentleman scheduled a session with me for he and his dog, because he was very concerned about his dog's health issues.  When the appointment started though, his dog was goofing around, running around the room, trying to get one of us to play with her.  She didn't seem interested in the appointment at all and appeared to just want to have a little fun.  I could sense that her guardian was the one who needed some support and sure enough, a few minutes later he stopped and said, "Well, it looks like I'm the one who really needed the appointment, is it OK if we focus on me?"  I was really pleased that he was willing to look out for himself and his own needs and we spent the rest of the session helping him find some balance.

It's something that I see so often . . . guardians who will do anything for their animals (whether it's helping them get rest, or exercise, or better food, or medical assistance - eastern or western) and yet won't often do those same things for themselves.  They would do anything to ensure that their pet was healthy and happy and felt safe and yet they won't give themselves that same care and concern.  (Note: I see this play out with parents and their 2-legged children as well)

So, why is that? Why are we willing to take better care of our pets than ourselves?  Is it because we don't believe we deserve it?  Do we think their health and well-being is more important than ours?  Do we think our job is to take care of them? but not to take care of ourselves?  Do we feel it's selfish to take care of ourselves?

I believe we ALL deserve to be healthy, happy and to feel safe and well cared for - us and our "children."  I also believe that being kind to ourselves opens the door for us to more easily be kind to others.  When we "fill our cup" so to speak, we have more to give.

So my questions to you this week are:  Where are you doing more for your "child" than you are doing for yourself?  What can you do to bring things into balance?  Where do YOU need to be kinder to yourself?  I don't think you will regret showing yourself a little kindness.  :-)

Weather Patterns

I'm reading John Edward's book, Infinite Quest, right now and even though most of what he writes about isn't new information for me, he has a way of putting things that make concepts even more clear than they had been before.

An example of this is how many people, including myself, talk about how our thoughts become things and how important it is to pay attention to our thoughts because that is how we manifest what comes into our lives.  John, however, refers to our thoughts as "bullets of energy" that we are spraying out in front of us.  Now THAT brings a whole new level of clarity to the concept.  Just the other day, I caught myself spraying some pretty negative bullets and remembering his way of explaining it, I was able to stop the thoughts more quickly than I ever had before and replace them something more pleasant.  :-)

In his book, he talks about how we create situations, opportunities and lessons that enable us to discover and evolve in our soul's progression.  I loved the way we wrote about it because the focus was not on beating ourselves up for what we have created in our lives.  Instead he suggested we focus on what we intended or hoped to learn from the things we created - a gentle way to take a step back and say, "Hmm, I wonder why I created this?"

In the book, he also talks about the importance of understanding the "weather patterns" we create in our lives and suggests that we try to describe our changing attitudes in weather terms and see what it shows us.  Are we "partly sunny" or always "stormy"?   How do our "weather patterns" change in different environments (work, home, in your car) or around different people.

All that thought about weather patterns got me thinking about radio stations (I can't explain why, it's just how my mind works)  :-)  When I was driving over the hill to the beach this week, the radio stations I normally listen to began to have a lot of static as I got farther into the mountains . . . and I began to think about how analogous that is to how I feel around people . . . with some people, I feel like my "signal" is strong and my "song" comes through clearly . . . and with some people, I can feel my signal waning and my "song" starts to sound muddled.  And I thought to myself, "Hmm, I wonder why my "signal" wanes in certain situations?"

If you take a look at your life, your current experiences, "weather patterns" and "radio static," do you know why you may have created it? Do you know what you were hoping to learn?  Taking some time to consider the answers to those questions may give you some pretty interesting insights.