Can We Be Kinder To Ourselves?

 In my humble opinion, one of the most beautiful gifts our animals can give us is to assist us in building our "kindness muscle" - although it is a gift that goes far wider and deeper than we may think. From what I have learned from my animal clients, while the first piece may be in how we treat THEM, the true gift is how we then transfer that kindness to ourselves. 

This is probably one of the biggest things I have seen play out consistently since I began working with animals. Animals are frequently asking their guardians to treat themselves as well as they treat their animals.

It makes you wonder . . . how kind are we to ourselves? Have you ever stopped and really thought about it? What do you consider "kind" acts towards yourself? Is it buying yourself something new? Taking a bubble bath? What does "kindness" look like when you are being kind to yourself? 

When I ask this question of my clients, they are usually a bit stumped . . . as most of us don't think in terms of how we can show ourselves kindness. Our focus is so often outside of ourselves - showing kindness to others (whether it is our pets, our neighbors, our friends, strangers, wildlife etc). Time and time again, I see guardians who will do anything for their animals (whether it is ensuring they get adequate exercise or have access to the healthiest food possible or advocating for their animals physical and emotional well being, etc). Most guardians would do anything to ensure that their pets are healthy, happy and feel safe - and yet, they don't treat themselves with that same level of care and concern. 

Why is that? Why are we willing to take better care of our pets than ourselves? (I see this play out with people and their two-legged children too - so it is not just animals)  Is it because we don't believe we deserve it? Do we think their health and well-being is more important than ours? Do we feel it is selfish to take care of ourselves? 

I believe we ALL deserve to be healthy and happy. We all deserve to feel seen, heard and well cared for. I believe that being kind to ourselves opens the door for us to more easily be kind to others. When we "fill our cup" so to speak, we have more to give. On top of that, when we are being kind to ourselves, we are "modeling" how we would like others to treat us. (And it also helps us see more clearly when we are not being treated with that same level of kindness by others).

So my questions to you are: Where are you doing more for others than you are doing for yourself? (not just your "children" - for everyone in your life) What can you do to bring things into balance? (i.e. being as kind to yourself as you are to everyone else?) How can you show more kindness to yourself? 

A simple exercise you could try, in addition to asking yourself the questions above is get a blank piece of paper and write out all the kind things you do for others - a couple examples are maybe you stop to allow a car to enter a busy street from a side business or you let the person behind you go ahead of you at the check out lane when you notice they only have 1-2 times and you have quite a few more. Maybe you have brought food to a friend or neighbor or helped a neighbor look for their lost cat or dog. Are there times you have offered words of encouragement to someone who was feeling down or discouraged? List all of them out - everything that comes to mind. I have a feeling this list will quickly become quite long as you allow yourself to think about it.

After you write down all the ways you are kind to others, write a list of all the kind things you do for yourself. You might be surprised at what you see (or not). Are the lists equal? Not that they have to be equal but are they even close? 

Next, look for a few things you could put on your "for myself" list. (You can use the "kind to others" list to get inspiration or give some thought to things like how you speak to yourself, how compassionate are you towards yourself when you are having a tough day, where do you fall on your priority list? Can you find some opportunities to move yourself up a bit higher?) 

I don't think you will regret being kinder to yourself. I would love to hear what you have decided to start doing for yourself that is "kind" so feel free to share in the comments. 

Grateful For Companies That Strive to Do Better

Last week a good friend of mine sent me a present to brighten my day. Kino has always loved to over-participate in the opening of packages - LOL - typically slobbering and leaving nose drips all over the outside of the box and then cramming his nose into the box and rooting around before I even have a chance to remove the contents. 

Given that he is having so much trouble standing up these days, I thought it would be nice if I sat down on the floor with him and opened the package there so he could "participate" in the unveiling. As expected, he was super excited to see what we got and was reacting his "usual" way - which I think brought me as much joy as he was feeling himself in that moment. 

While I was admiring the beautiful scented candle we had received, Kino continued to root around inside the box. I thought he was just enjoying the smells inside the box but then I heard him chewing something. Much to my chagrin, I realized he was enjoying a "packing peanut snack" and my attempts to get them out of his mouth went over as well as it always has when I have tried to fish something out of his mouth. Lots of growling followed by his success at swallowing what was in his mouth as quickly as possible, whether it had been chewed or not. 

It immediately reminded of our early days together when I was just "fostering" Kino. He had a bizarre fascination with my ear plugs and he ate probably 10 pairs of them before I figure out what to store them in on my bedside table to keep them safe. Giggling, I recalled the mischievous look he would get right as he remembered he hadn't yet eaten the earplugs that day. 

In my mind, I could still see images of us both making a beeline for the bedside table, with me diving onto / across my bed in an attempt to get there first, like a hero detective on a TV show . . .  sliding across the hood of a car to catch the bad guy. LOL  And somehow, Kino always got there first. 

I used (and still use) the neon pink and yellow earplugs from the drug store so seeing them the next morning while cleaning up poop was a horrific sight the first couple times and slightly less disturbing as time went on but still . . . not the most pleasant of sights. LOL

I knew they always came out so in an attempt to be as chill as possible, I just made up my mind to be prepared to see packing peanuts the next morning and I did my best to enjoy the giggle I got being reminded of our early days together. 

Yet after three days, there was still no sign of the packing peanuts and I began to get a little concerned. Why hadn't they been "processed" yet? Deciding it was time to do a little research on packing peanuts, I discovered, much to my delight, that the packing peanut manufacturers have been doing what they can to improve their product and have found a way to make biodegradable ones! Seeing this brought about a deep sigh of relief. 

Here is what I found: (and fortunately they had pictures of "old school" peanuts vs. the biodegradable ones so I could confirm Kino had indeed eaten the "new and improved" packing peanuts.)

Can You Eat Biodegradable Packing Peanuts?

People often wonder if you can eat biodegradable packing peanuts. The answer is, yes, dissolvable packing peanuts are completely edible and non-toxic. If a pet or small child (or anyone who’s curious) gets their hands on one, there’s no need to worry. Biodegradable packing peanuts are 100% safe to ingest, by accident or otherwise.

Feeling my body relax at what I read, I couldn't help but think of one of my most favorite Maya Angelou quotes: "When we know better, we do better." It made me happy to know the packing peanut manufacturers were doing their part to "do better." I smiled as I imagined that it might be possible for all companies to figure out how to do what they do in a way that is less harmful - to people, to animals and to the environment. 

Then I went even further with my imagination and thought how cool it would be if companies just did it on their own - not because the government passed a law or threatened them with a fine or something along those lines. How wonderful would it be if all companies cared enough and had enough integrity to figure out how to do what they do with the least amount of harm to ALL. How fabulous would it be if the phrase "We've always done it this way" was replaced with "Lets figure out how to do it better" and if the notion of "Seeing what they can get away with" was replaced with "Challenging themselves to do no harm." What if they were driven not by how much profit they could make but how much they could help people AND the environment while making their product.

A girl can dream right? 

For now, I am happy to know that I don't have to stress out if I find Kino enjoying another packing peanut snack. 

I feel grateful for people who do things to lift the spirits of others and even more grateful that I have some of these people in my life. 

And I feel gratitude towards companies who care enough to pay attention to these types of things . . . and make the choice to use the biodegradable peanuts to ship their products. :-)