Can We Handle The Truth?

Lately, I've been observing how much resistance there is to people hearing anything that doesn't match their current beliefs. I see people lashing out at the person who has attempted to shine the light on something, whether it is a concern about increasing government restrictions and the motivation behind them or the chemtrails blanketing our skies. They react by ridiculing the person or flat out bullying them with negative comments, labeling them with harsh things like "idiots, conspiracy theorists, fear mongerers" etc. or demanding that they "prove that with irrefutable scientific evidence."

As someone who has been on the receiving end of it, as well as a witness to it happening to others, it can be incredibly disheartening when you see how downright ugly we can be to others when we are presented with something that we are not ready to consider. It seems that the more we don't want to believe something is true, the more resistant we can be to it. Why we are so afraid to open up to the possibility that we may not know the truth about everything?

Seeing someone or something that we have believed in or felt was a trusted authority crumble before our eyes can be difficult to wrap our brains around. I get it. I have experienced this myself, many times, when someone I looked up to fell off the pedestal I had put them on. I didn't want to see it at first - I just didn't want to believe that the "truth" that was being shown to me could be possible.

There's that feeling of overwhelm that comes with it, the fear that everything we thought was true is going to come crashing down around us if we accept this new information. And yet, it can be much harder on us when we continue to resist the truth.

Over the years, I have come across a lot more information that I didn't want to believe at first. Even though it often initially had me reeling, I learned to just sit with it. I learned to wait and see if more information on the topic came across my path in the coming weeks and months. I learned to keep my eyes and my mind open so that if more information DID come along that either confirmed or refuted what I had read before, I would see it.

I know that the only thing we can truly control is ourselves . . . our reactions to things . . . so to me, that's usually a good place to start. When someone says something that riles us up, rather than lashing out at that person, maybe we can stop and ask ourselves "Why is that bothering me so much?"

Is it possible the person is sharing information that you just don't WANT to believe? What if what was being shared WAS true? What would it mean to us and our life? Would we be able to continue living as we assimilated that new information? or would our world truly fall apart if we accepted a new "truth" into our reality?

If you still think the person is an idiot or a conspiracy theorist, can you keep that to yourself rather than publicly slamming the person with those labels? Can you just file it away and be open to the fact that everyone has a right to believe what they believe? Can you maybe even consider the possibility that there might be some truth in what they shared?

Sometimes new information forces us to let go of some of our old beliefs. That isn't always a bad thing. Decades ago, I was given the opportunity to learn that doctors don't always have all the answers. Does that mean I think all doctors are bad? Not at all. It just means that I don't expect them to be perfect anymore. And it means that I do a lot of my own research instead of relying solely on their knowledge and opinions. Was it disappointing at the time? You bet it was . . . and yet I can also see how it helped empower me . . . how it helped me build trust in myself and my own knowing. Ultimately, some good came out of the situation.

I keep having this very strong feeling that many of the things that have been "hidden" from us for decades (and centuries) are going to start coming out . . . that we are going to be told things we don't really want to know or shown things that we won't want to accept. It seems like now is a pretty good time to prepare for it, to look at ourselves and see how we react and respond to information that is outside our comfort zone or outside of our "reality bubble" . . . and I think it will really help us to look for ways to process new information that we might not initially be comfortable with.

I think our current "reality bubbles" are going to be popped - one by one - and whether that is a horrible experience or an experience that ultimately allows us to begin spreading our wings will be entirely up to us.

The Truth Will Set Us Free

I know how important it is to allow people to have their own experiences - to honor the journey that each one of us is on.  If people are afraid, I do my best to honor that that is how they feel without trying to change their minds. I have a difficult time standing back though when I feel we are being lied to - when the fear that people are feeling may be created by information that just isn't true.

From the beginning of this pandemic, I have been questioning the data that is being collected and presented to us as justification for our world being shut down.  I have also tried to focus on the positives that can come from this but right now it's tough to stay in that mindset.  I have long believed "The truth will set us free" - but if we are not being told the truth, then how will we ever be free?

Just in the last week, two people close to me have passed away - and both of those deaths were listed as "Death from COVID." But the truth is that neither of them died solely because of COVID so why are they being listed that way?  One person has had heart issues for years, the other was the father of one of my childhood friends who was already in hospice. The doctors had already told the family "there is nothing more we can do for him" yet his death was listed as COVID as well and included in the count of "people who have died from COVID" because he tested positive for it before he died.

I am not saying people aren't getting sick from COVID, I am not saying that it is all made up. What I AM saying is that numbers are being inflated. I don't know why they are being inflated but I think it's time we start asking more questions. Why does the government want the numbers to look higher than they actually are? What are they gaining by keeping the world locked down?

I believe we need to question what is really going on here. What is the real reason that we are being forced to shelter in place? One of my best friends made me a shirt that says "The truth will set you free, but first it's going to piss you off." I suspect we may not like the answers we find when we learn why the number of COVID cases are being inflated but should that stop us from seeking the truth?

Where I live, if you ask questions, you are told to shut up and listen to the experts. If you say you think this has gone too far, you are labeled "selfish" and accused of "not caring about people on the front lines of this."  I don't believe either of those are true. I DO care about the people on the front lines of this.  I also care about the people who haven't had an income since all of this started (like these two fabulous guys who happen to be musicians in my most favorite band). I care about the people who don't have enough money to keep food on the table or pay their utility bills or their rent. I care about the people who rely on AA and NA and other support organizations to stay sober. People flippantly say "well they can attend meetings on line" without understanding if they have access to a computer and internet, without understanding if that method is still providing them the support they need. I care about people who rely on things outside of their house to stay healthy, who will end up in worse shape physically, emotionally and mentally if they are forced to continue sheltering in place. I care about the small businesses who may not be able to re-open and the employees who worked for them who have no income.

I also care about the TRUTH and something is not adding up.

Someone used the analogy on our neighborhood email the other day that if you have a roof leak you call a roofer, if your car breaks down you take it to a mechanic - because we are supposed to rely on the people who are "experts in their field." I understood the point they were trying to make and yet I also believe that we don't just blindly go with the first roofer or mechanic we find in the phonebook.  We get multiple quotes, we read reviews, etc. Why do we do that? Because not everyone who is an "expert" is honest and trustworthy.  Right now, my sense is that all the "experts" who are presenting the data that is keeping us in a state of fear are not necessarily being honest and trustworthy.

I believe it's time to stop "hoping the experts figure it out" and begin to empower ourselves . . . I believe it's time for people to start listening to each other instead of shaming and blaming people who have a different view.  I believe it's up to us individually and collectively to find points we can agree on so that we can start working together. I believe it's time for us to say "Enough is enough" and demand that our "experts" tell us the truth. Otherwise, how will we ever be set free?

The Answers Must Come From Within

As I have mentioned before, I often wake with a song in my head that has a message. Today I woke to Free Ride by Edgar Winter.  It was one of my favorite songs in high school so I was happy to hear it.  It conjured up great memories of the freedom that my friends and I felt when were getting our drivers licenses and had the ability to go places without our parents present. I remembered driving in a friend's convertible, top down, volume up as high as the car's cassette player would allow. I couldn't help but smile.

As I lay there, I couldn't recall all the lyrics, aside from "come on and take a free ride" so I was interested to see what the message was.  When I pulled up the lyrics, I got goose bumps up and down my arms . . . especially the second verse, as it seems so timely for the place we are in as a world right now.  For those of you who don't know the song, I've pasted the lyrics below.

If it speaks to you, wonderful.  If it doesn't, that's alright too.  It's still one of my all time favorite songs - best listened to with the volume up.

Free Ride

Edgar Winter

The mountain is high
The valley is low
And you're confused on which way to go
So I've come here to give you a hand
And lead you into the promised land
So (ooh, ooh, ooh) come on and take a free ride

Come on and sit here by my side

Come on and take a free ride

All over the country
I'm seeing it the same
Nobody's winning at this kind of game
We gotta do better it's time to begin
You know all the answers must come from within
So (ooh, ooh, ooh) come on and take a free ride
(Free ride)
(Ooh, ooh, ooh) Come on and sit here by my side

Come on and take a free ride

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Ooh, ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh, free ride

Come on and take a free ride
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Come on and take a free ride
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Not Everything The Media Shares is True

Personally I don't believe that everything we are told is the truth and it concerns me to see information being shared in a way that frightens people rather than truly informing. Now more than ever, I think it is vital that we question what we are seeing in the media.

An easy example of this is the information on mainstream media about the corona virus.  Just scrolling through the headlines, my gut says that a lot of information that is being shared is intended to frighten people rather than truly inform them and my head begins to spin at the number of times I see conflicting information.  Where is the truth in all of this?

When all of this first began, my father and I had a few conversations about our concerns related to data.  It is always fun for me to find topics my dad and I agree on, since there is a whole lot we don't see eye to eye on (i.e. politics, religion, the importance of feelings, to name a few)  :-)  Fortunately, data is one place where my dad and I are on the same page because we share a belief around the importance of truth and facts. I'm including a picture of my dad here, in part because I realized recently that this picture of my dad, taken decades ago, was taken at the very beach that I live by now. Little did I know way back then that this is where I would end up living.

A big point of our agreement is around the data being collected and how that information has been shared. We discussed the fact that saying "someone died of the corona virus" who had many other health ailments they were already battling isn't an honest representation of the virus. Most of us know that if our immune system is weakened (by other diseases and ailments), we can be more susceptible to viruses and have a more difficult time fighting them off. My dad and I have been concerned that without including data on what else people were already battling, it seems like everyone is dying from the virus alone, which really skews the truth.

Another point of agreement was around the lack of comparative data i.e. how many people die every year from the regular flu. We found some data at one point and were shocked how high the numbers were for the "annual flu" and then strangely enough, we couldn't find that data again a few weeks later when we looked for it.  (Note to self, when you find a good source of data, write down the URL since some browsers only keep a weeks worth of history).

From a young age, we are trained to believe people who are in a position of authority so when information is shared by a doctor or a nurse or someone with lots of initials after their name, we assume that it must be the truth but if that was the case, then information coming from doctors and nurses would always be in alignment, wouldn't it?  I am finding many cases where one "expert" seems to contradict what another "expert" says and it can leave us feeling pretty darn confused. Who do we believe?

One of the thing that I think will help us is if we start relying on our own knowing, our own ability to discern the truth. When you read something, you can sit with it for a minute. Ask yourself "Does this feel in alignment with the truth? or Does this feel in alignment with my truth?" and see what comes to you. Or pay attention to how you feel while you are reading something. Do you feel frightened by what you read? or do you feel informed?  I personally find that when an article is written in a way that frightens people, there is often a hidden agenda.

The other thing I have found is there can be a mixture of good information and misinformation in one article. I'm learning that just because an article starts out with good information, doesn't mean the entire contents of the article can be trusted.

I'm suspicious whenever the article include finger pointing (it's his fault, it's their fault, etc) - anytime there is blaming or shaming included, my gut tells me to be careful about believing everything in the article because if our goal truly is to inform people, then it shouldn't be trying to sway people into polarity.

As I said, the current situation with the corona virus is just one example.  I think this can apply to just about anything we are seeing in mainstream media.  I have a feeling it is going to become even more of an issue, with misinformation being shared along side good information and information being shared to frighten us into submission.

It is going to be up to us to discern for ourselves what is the truth and the more we can "build that muscle" right now, the easier time we'll have in the coming months.

Imagine How it Could Be

I don't pay much attention to the information shared in the mainstream media, as I find that it's geared more towards winding people up and scaring them instead of educating them, but my eye does still catch headlines when I get on line to check email, etc.

One of the things I have noticed this past week is the number of headlines that are focused on "how bad this is going to be" (after we are finally freed from the shelter in place order) . . .  how we aren't going to be able to recover from this - how the longer this goes on, the more impossible it will be to restore what was, etc.  I know that scares a lot of people.

Yet I had another thought come to me the other morning which was . . . maybe we shouldn't be trying to "put things back the way they were before" . . . maybe this is our opportunity to do things differently, to do things in a way that brings us closer to what would serve all of us better.

Sheltering in place has certainly brought some challenges but has it also brought some good?  Are there things that are happening now that you would like to continue to see in the future?  Are there things you are experiencing now that are worth keeping?  (whether it is more quality time with family, more quiet time, less time spent driving to and from work, more people reaching out to help others etc).

What about on a global level?  Do you see any positives as a result of what we are going through?

Take it one step further, if you had the ability to create a whole new world, without having to keep to the parameters of what has been - what would you create?  What would our world look like? What would it feel like?

If you feel inspired, I invite you to spend a little time each day thinking about how you would like things to be in our world.  You can focus on your immediate surroundings or you can focus on a more global view of things or you can do both.

I think that if we spend a little time each day thinking about how we would like things to be, not only can it lift our spirits in the moment, it can also put the energy of those possibilities out into the world.  You may not believe that our thoughts/imagination can be that powerful - and that's ok if you don't - it can't do any harm to spend a little time imaging it and it's definitely a lot more fun than watching the news.  :-)

Random Acts of Kindness for the rest of March!

I woke up this morning with random snippets of songs playing in my head. It's not uncommon for me to wake up with a song or some lyrics in my head but I've never heard a collection of songs this way. I heard the Youngbloods singing "Come on people now, smile on your brother, everybody get together, try to love one another right now" followed by The Yardbirds singing, "For your love," then the Beatles singing "All you need is love . . . love is all you need" and finally Dionne Warwick singing "What the world needs now is love sweet love."

As I laid there, in my half sleepy state, wondering who was playing DJ in my head, I knew all those song lyrics weren't random - they were in fact a message about the importance of being in a state of love right now, being in our heart space and being kind - because love can transmute fear.

There is so much fear in the world right now it is impossible not to feel it and yet we don't have to get caught up in and be paralyzed by the fear. We have the option of doing our best to spend time in our hearts. We have the option to find ways to be kind to others. When we act from our hearts, not only can we inspire hope, we can also help transmute some of the fear that has engulfed the planet.

I participated in an on-line gathering today where we were asked to commit to at least one random act of kindness every day for the next twelve days. I am fully on board for that and I was also thinking "why not do it for the whole month of March" . . . it certainly couldn't hurt so that's what I am planning to do. Would you consider doing it as well?

At a time when we are being told to isolate, showing kindness lets people know they aren't alone and can help us feel less separate. If you aren't able to leave the house, you can still participate. An act of kindness can simply be a text or a phone call, letting someone else know you are thinking about them and that they are not alone.  If you are out and about, it doesn't have to be something huge, it could be as simple as letting another car have that great front row parking space or letting someone with less groceries in their cart go in front of you in line. Yesterday, I got to do a random act of kindness when I noticed a lady struggling to reach the last container of half and half on the back of the top shelf in the dairy section. After getting it for her, we had a good laugh when I shared that I was always happy to find ways to put my abnormally tall stature to good use.

I am already seeing evidence of acts of kindness in my community as well as witnessing the breadth of positive effects they are having.

A neighbor posted a note on our local social media group offering to help anyone who is quarantined and needs groceries. Ten other people responded and said they would be happy to help as well.  Thirty more people responded saying that even though they didn't need the help being offered, the post had touched them deeply and restored their faith in humanity.

Another neighbor offered to help with childcare for people who still have to go to work (i.e. people in the medical industry). Again, the outpouring of gratitude to this person was enough to bring the most stoic person to tears and again, there were offers from others in the neighborhood who would be happy to do the same thing. Some teachers offered suggestions on how parents can structure their children's day if they are home with their kids while schools are closed and other folks provided links to on-line resources for educational materials they can find on line.

Someone else offered to help with groceries if anyone was unable to afford food because their place of business was shut down, thus dramatically decreasing their income.  The number of people who responded saying they'd like to help as well and could support the effort by buying needed groceries or transporting food and other necessities to people in need was truly astounding.

Every single person who read these post were uplifted by them. Even if they didn't need what was being offered, they still received a boost. That is what an act of kindness can do. It can lift the spirits of the recipient, it can make the person offering the kindness feel good and it can shift the mood of every person who reads about it or hears about it. On top of that, it can also transmute fear.

I feel like that is what my medley of songs was about this morning. At a time when many are feeling overwhelmed and helpless and frightened, the one thing we can do is show love to each other . . . we can be loving and kind and patient and compassionate. And not only will it help whoever is on the receiving end, it can have an amazing ripple effect on others too!

If you feel inspired, for the rest of this month would you be willing to perform a random act of kindness every day as well?

Animals and Their Purpose

Most of the animals that I work with feel they have an important role to play in the lives of their guardians.  From what I have learned from them, they come into our lives to help us learn and grow and they always have our best interests at heart.  Some people may say, "When an animal does this, this is what it means" but I don't think we can generalize that much because their purpose is so unique to each situation and each relationship they have.

Let's take barking dogs as an example. I have dealt with many dogs over the years who barked a lot and each one of them had a different reason for doing it, a different way they were trying to assist their guardian.

One dog I worked with told me that he barked a lot because his guardian never spoke up for herself so he was trying to "model" the behavior he wanted her to get better at. When I told her this, she confirmed her dog was right and she began working to improve in that area. And over time, as she spoke up more, her dog barked less.

So if you have a dog that barks a lot, should you assume that you need to speak up more?  Not necessarily.

Another over-zealous barker told me that her dad let everyone walk all over him, including her and she wanted him to learn how to set boundaries. She thought that if her dad could learn to set boundaries with her, that it would be easier for him to do it with the humans in his life too. He was so touched by her willingness to let him practice with her and soon he was finding it easier to set boundaries with other people in his life. (and miraculously, she stopped being an over-zealous barker)

And yet there was another barking dog that told me her parents argued a lot and she was trying to show them that it wasn't a good way to communicate. She also told me that the energy from their arguments made her uncomfortable and sometimes she barked just to release the energy she was feeling. (That was a conversation that had to be handled very gently and very gracefully with her parents)  :-)  Fortunately, they were receptive to the message and promised to work on their way of "communicating" with each other.  As they created more peace in their interactions, their dog no longer felt the need to add to the chaos by barking so much.

Another dog I worked with told me that her mom was scared all the time and she was trying to let her know she was "on the job" protecting her. She thought that her barking would help her mom feel safer.  When I talked to her mom about it and found out that her dog's barking made her feel even more on edge, we talked about things she could do to help increase her level of comfort. She came up with a few ideas (installing some motion sensor lights in the yard and having an extra lock put on the door).  Once she put those things in place, she felt safer and consequently, her dog's barking decreased dramatically.

I truly believe animals have a reason for the things they do and if we remember that they are here to help us, it's easier to figure out what they are trying to show us by behaviors that we might consider bothersome or label "a training issue."

How do you think the animals in your life are trying to help you learn and grow?