Ten Years Later

Today is the ten year anniversary of Lucky's passing.  It's hard to believe it's been ten years, as it doesn't really feel like it has been that long.  Over my coffee this morning, I thought about what I might do to celebrate her today. The only thing that seemed fitting was to go to the beach - to her favorite beach - not the one I go to now - but the one we went to week after week, year after year while she was alive.

I spent some time going through pictures this morning.  I couldn't help but notice all the pictures I had of her at the beach.  It truly was her most favorite place in the world.  Given all the fears she had of noises (motorcycles, baseballs hitting bats, etc), the beach was always the one place we could go where we didn't hear anything that frightened her.

In honor of this day, I decided to share some pictures of Lucky at her most favorite place.

Here is Lucky the very first time I took her to the beach.  (and the day I learned why you DON'T want to let your dog drink sea water)

Here is Lucky coming out of the water after doing a little body surfing.  Over the years, she became quite the skilled body surfer.

Here Lucky and I are walking on the beach. (I giggled to myself when I realized I still have those shorts so I decided to put them on today)

















Here were trying to get the perfect picture for our Christmas card. (thanks to one of my childhood friends who was out visiting us from New Jersey that week).

Today when I first arrived at our old beach, it felt so good to be there again. Standing at the top of the staircase I was flooded with so many images of our countless afternoons there. I noticed the energy felt calmer and more peaceful than the stretch of beach I go to now. It just felt like home. When I got to the bottom of the staircase and walked towards the surf, I was given the honor of seeing some dolphins frolicking in the water.  As they came up out of the water and splashed down again, they looked like they were having their own little celebration.  I couldn't help but smile.


Lucky Rose
July 12, 1995 - October 15, 2009

The Joy of Squeakers

In all the years Kino has been with me, the one thing that has remained constant is the complete and utter joy he gets from the sound of a toy making a squeak. To be honest, it brings me joy too - to see him so happy makes my heart feel happy too.  I can't help but laugh when I see him marching around the family room with a squeak toy in his mouth, as each step produces another sound from the chomp of his jaw.

Of course, after a while, most of the toys stop making noise . . . and Kino's level of joy diminishes a bit. One night I found him searching through his toy basket, biting each toy until he found one that would make the desired sound and leaving a big pile of "quiet" toys outside of the basket . . . and I got an idea . . . maybe it was time for his toys to have "squeaker replacement surgery!"

I got on line and researched the little noise makers, reading reviews and trying to determine which ones might be the most durable.  When the package arrived, I determined who would get the first transplant surgeries and got to work.

I am not much of a seamstress but I gave it my best effort. Since the weather was nice, I parked myself in a lawn chair outside with all the necessary "instruments" and a few hours later, all the "surgeries" were complete.

Kino was over the moon!  He spent the next several hours biting each one, back and forth, back and forth until all the toys were sopping wet from slobber.  Later that night, I got him to chase the ball for a bit but shortly after we started, he stopped mid-run . . . stood there for a minute . . . then ran back over to the pile of stuffed toys.  It was like his brain said to him "But wait, we have new squeakers in the stuffed toys!"

Seeing how happy the rejuvenated toys made Kino, the next week, I decided to get even more adventurous and re-stuff the toys that he had inherited from Lucky.  Since she unstuffed most of her stuffed toys, there were a lot of floppy toy carcasses in the bottom of the toy basket that I just hadn't had the heart to part with in the nearly ten years she has been gone.  My trip to the craft store for just the right stuffing was followed by several more hours of "surgery" - and since I was putting in such a big effort, I decided to put more than one squeaker into each of the re-stuffed toys so that if one of the squeakers gave out, at least the toy would still make noise.

Kino almost seemed overwhelmed when I presented all the toys to him after they came out of "post-op." It was as if he was thinking "How could one dog be so lucky?" and for a while, he just laid there and stared at all the "refreshed" toys. I wondered if maybe he was hesitant because they were Lucky's toys but eventually, I heard the sound I had been waiting for - a cacophony of squeaking coming from the family room.

For the time being, Kino has a whole lot of squeaking toys to bring him joy!  And as always, his joy brings me joy!  I would say our project was successful!!

Stuffed Toys

When Kino first came into my life, I was shocked to discover that his approach to stuffed toys went beyond any other dog I ever had.  Sure, I was use to the toys being ripped apart and I was used to piles of "guts" (stuffing) everywhere as well as annihilated squeakers but unlike any other dog I know, Kino had an additional step to his process .  . he was determined to swallow everything he pulled out of a stuffed toy.

This was a concern to me, not just because it was pretty gross when it come out the next day, but I worried about what would happen if all that "stuff" got stuck in his stomach and/or intestines.  I talked to him about it and explained that he needed to leave the "guts" on the ground so that I could throw them away.  I supervised him with the stuffed toy . . . applauded him each time he spit out the stuffing but the second I came near him to pick the stuffing up, he gobbled it up and swallowed quickly.

So I informed him that he wouldn't be allowed to play with stuffed toys anymore.  (It's the approach I have had the most success with Kino . . . using consequences and rewards). Every so often, I would give him another chance . . . reminding him that he couldn't swallow what he pulled out . . . and each time, he seemed even more determined to swallow the contents as quickly as possible.  The box of stuffed toys would get put away for another stretch of time.  This went on for years and I wondered if he would ever learn how to play with a stuffed toy without swallowing the contents.

The message finally got through to him on his 5th birthday.  One of my friends bought him a big green stuffed turtle.  With trepidation I gave it to him  . . . not only did he show me that he no longer wanted to swallow the contents of a toy, he didn't even want to rip the toy!  He was happy to bite on it, slobber on it and "talk" to it.  I took it as a sign it was safe to pull out the box of stuffed toys that had been hidden away and he was equally good with all the "old" toys. He had "matured" so much he didn't try to rip any of them open.  He seemed content to just make them squeak and use them as pillows and occasionally use them to entice me away from the computer. A whole new world of fun opened up for Kino!

Over time, they do get rips and tears in them though. Since I don't want him to be tempted into his old ways by stuffing coming out of the holes, I stitch them back up.  Somehow I began using simple hospital terms to explain things to Kino. When I noticed a stuffed toy with a rip in it, I'd say, "uh oh, he's going to need surgery" and I would place the toy on the top of the refrigerator.  I began referring to the top of the refrigerator as "pre-op" and once I had 4-5 toys that were ready for "surgery" I'd pull out the sewing kit and fix them all up.  It's to the point now where if I say, "uh oh, he's going to need surgery," Kino immediately looks at the top of the refrigerator.  :-)

The first time I sat down with the pile of toys in need of repair, Kino was a little pushy. The moment I finished the first one, he came over and tried to pull it off the table. Not wanting him to be so impatient, I told him that the toys had to stay in "post-op" until they recovered from their surgery.  It makes me giggle every time I say it, but Kino respects that and now leaves the toys alone, until I tell him that they've recovered from their surgery.

It took a lot of time and a lot of patience to help him learn that it's not good for him to swallow the contents of a stuffed toy but it was well worth the effort. I get to feel the peace and calm inside knowing we aren't going to be rushing into the emergency vet for a different kind of surgery for Kino. To see the tremendous joy he gets out of playing in a new way with his toys is an added bonus.

The Ripples of Positive Energy

A year and a half ago, I was taking a class and one of the modules was on creativity.  The concept shared was that when we are feeling stuck or stagnant, one of the best things we can do is put our energy into something creative because that will help shift our energy.

Given that I had gone through a major purge of excess belongings in recent years, I didn't want to create more "stuff" that would clutter the house so I asked the other participants for suggestions on "creative" things I could do that wouldn't generate more "stuff" in my house. One of the suggestions that I felt most excited about was painting rocks and leaving them around my neighborhood.  I went down to the beach and collected some rocks, picked up some paints at a local art store and got started.  I painted the words: Peace, Love, Hope and Joy on the rocks and with the rocks that were too small for those words, I either painted smiley faces or flowers on them.  My focus was on doing something creative that would shift MY energy.  I had no idea how wide the ripples would go from there.

I went out in the daytime when most of my neighbors were at work so that no one would know who was placing the rocks and I put about thirty or more on the streets closest to mine.  The odd thing was that prior to this, Kino had started refusing to go on walks. Well, we would leash up and leave the house but after less than 5 minutes, he was dragging me back home with such force, you couldn't really call it a "walk."  Interestingly, after I put the rocks out, I noticed that he would walk a little further . . . onto the streets where I had placed rocks. Inspired by this, I went to the beach to get more rocks.  After painting them, I placed them on streets even further out from our house . . . and sure enough, Kino was suddenly willing to walk on those streets too.

I was very excited that "doing something creative" was having a such a positive impact on Kino.

And then people started posting on our neighborhood email group about the rocks . . . Fellow dog parents were commenting on how much they enjoyed seeing the rocks when they were out walking their dogs and parents were commenting on how the rocks were the highlight for their toddlers when they were out for walks.  People posted about their excitement when they came home from work and found a rock in front of their house. I never expected that kind of reaction and I was tickled to know that my attempt to shift MY energy was impacting so many others in a positive way.

Since I live in a vacation town, by the end of last summer most of the rocks had disappeared, as vacationers took them as souvenirs or because they knew something I didn't know . . . that many people take painted rocks and bring them to a new location and then post the pictures on line.  Soon there were posts on our neighborhood email group about the missing rocks and how sad people were that they were gone . . . that they missed the cheer they brought our neighborhood. Not wanting my neighbors to be disappointed, down to the beach I went to collect more rocks, back to the art store for more paint . . . and my mission continued.



So far I have only been "caught" by one neighbor.  She calls me the "Rock Fairy" now.  :-) She was inspired to bring the idea to her school where she is a teacher. They had a rock painting project that was so successful, the principal decided next time they should extend it to all the classes in the elementary school. Again, I was surprised by how wide the ripple effect has gone on this small class project of mine.

It has been a beautiful reminder to me that no matter how small the effort, there is no cap on how great the impact can be. Even simple gestures like smiling at a stranger or letting a car merge onto a busy road from a side street can have the same ripple effects. We may never know how far the ripples will go but for me, I find joy in making the first effort. Since vacation season is winding down here, I've painted a new set of rocks and now that Kino isn't afraid to walk in our neighborhood, he'll be able to help me spread the love (and the joy and the peace and the hope).  ;-)

Saving Bees

For as much as I love walking the beach and for as much peace and joy that it brings me, there are times when I feel sad  . . . when I come across bees that have perished along the shoreline.  I don't know why there are so many bees down there and why they can't see the water coming in and fly to safety before the wave breaks on the shore.  I've puzzled over it countless times but never came up with any answers.

Earlier this spring, I happened upon a bee that had been knocked over by a wave but was still alive. He was on his back . . . floundering . . . unable to turn himself over and too wet to fly away.  I wanted to help him but I didn't know how.  I feared that if I tried to pick him up with my hands, I would get stung and I didn't want to get stung.  I always carry my flip-flops when I walk the beach so using the toe of my flip-flop, I tried to scoop him up onto my shoe.  It didn't work and I ended up flinging even more sand on him and stressing him out even more.  I felt awful but I wasn't deterred.  I just HAD to find a way to help this bee.

Something inspired me to see if he could grab onto my flip-flop himself.  Holding it upside down so the straps were right over his body, I asked him if he could grab ahold of the strap.  Much to my surprise and delight he did!  I flipped my shoe over so he was right side up and I explained to him that I wanted to help him get to dry land.  I told him he could just relax, catch his breath and let his wings dry and I assured him that I would find a plant for him to rest on.

The beach that I walk on is lined with beach houses up a ways from the shore.  Many of the houses have flowers and bushes so I decided to walk up to the houses and find a flower to put him on.  As I held my shoe next to the plant, I told him it was safe for him to let go of my shoe and step onto the flower.  He seemed a little hesitant at first but after a minute or so, he stepped safely onto the flower.  I wished him well and walked back to the shore.  Much to my surprise, within a minute or so, I encountered another bee, floundering on his back.  I decided the process was worth repeating and fortunately for me, this bee was on board with it . . . grabbing onto the strap of my flip-flop and allowing me to walk him up to a flower.

My hour long beach walk turned into a 2+ hour beach walk that day because I found so many bees that needed help.  I had never walked up to the houses that many times as I usually just walk along the water and while my feet hurt from walking on such hot sand, I didn't give it much thought, as I was so happy that I was able to help the bees!!

Not long after that, I saw a painting of a little girl holding a bee and it touched me so much it brought tears to my eyes.

The artists name is:   Autumn Skye. If you feel inspired to check out any of her other artwork, she has some amazing pieces. Her website is: https://www.autumnskyeart.com

Since that first day, helping bees along the shore has become a regular thing.  I still feel sad when I encounter a bee that has already died (I tell them that I am sorry I wasn't able to get there in time) but it makes my heart feel good to know there are bees that I HAVE been able to help.

The other interesting thing is that since I started saving bees on the beach, I have been having encounters with bees in my backyard. I have always enjoyed seeing them buzz around the flowers in the yard but they have never come near me . . . that is until the last few months when bees will come right up to me, a few inches from my face, sometimes they'll do a little zig-zag maneuver in front of me and then fly off.  It feels like an acknowledgment that I am a "friend" and it makes me smile.

Respect For All Living Things

It's probably no surprise that I hold the belief that we should treat all living things with kindness and respect. I guess it kind of goes hand in hand with being an animal communicator and an empath. Yet I am still delighted when I receive a sweet little piece of confirmation that my approach is appreciated.

The other day, I was sitting at the kitchen table, working on the computer when I heard what sounded like yelling outside the house.  Kino heard it at the same time as me and began to bark. With his barking drowning out the commotion, I couldn't distinguish what the sounds were exactly so I got up to look out the kitchen window.

Much to my disappointment I saw three kids bothering a crow that was on my front lawn.  They were flapping their arms and lunging towards him aggressively, while yelling "Caw Caw."  When they got close to him, he flew up over my house.  I felt so bad for the crow.  I don't ever like to see anyone (human or animal) be teased or frightened and I knew I needed to say something . . . to the crow.

Walking out the front door, I got to the edge of the walkway where the driveway begins but couldn't see him anywhere. I had no idea if he was still around but I hoped that he would be able to hear me and began speaking to him.  I told him that I was very sorry he had been treated that way and I hoped he knew he was always welcome in my yard.

I questioned for a moment whether I was crazy or not, trying to talk to a crow that may be long gone but then I heard a sound above my head. When I looked at the top of the garage there he was, walking to the edge of the roof line so I could see him. He looked at me for a moment, with what felt like a complete recognition of what I had just said.  Telling him again that I was sorry about what happened, I reminded him that I appreciated his presence and hoped that he was ok.  After a few more seconds of eye contact, he turned around and flew off the roof of the garage.

Satisfied with the outcome, I went back inside the house and explained to Kino what had occurred. It made me realize how well the situation illustrated the very thing that many people have been grappling with lately - which is around the importance of focusing on what we CAN control.  I'm not going to lie - I DID have the thought that I'd like to run outside and yell at the kids for being unkind to the crow but I knew doing that was just going to create more negative energy and likely not change their behavior.  What I DID have control over was speaking to the crow and showing him some respect.  Coming from my heart in that conversation, the energy I put out was more positive and loving, which is an energy I would prefer to be in and around.

We all get to choose, in each moment, how we are going to react and respond to things.  Are we going to complain about what other people should be doing differently? or are we going to look at what is within OUR control at that moment. I'm certainly not perfect in my responses but I do know that each time I can respond from a place of love instead of judgement, I feel a whole lot better.

Do You Need To Say It?

Something I have been observing is that people seem to be even more critical and cranky and wanting to be "right" than ever before.  Lately the thought of getting on Facebook or Next-door has me cringing because so many of the comments lean towards the negative.  So, I am writing this post as a plea  . . . asking if you will please ask yourself "Do I need to say this?" before you make a comment.

This is up for me right now because my next door neighbor posted some beautiful pictures on our neighborhood Facebook page yesterday . . . pictures she had taken of all the incredible birds she had been able to enjoy just that day.  Her post was clearly one of gratitude, as she expressed appreciation for getting to live in an area where such a variety of beautiful birds visit her yard.

And then the comments began . . . she was corrected on the spelling of one of the birds.  Really?  Will any harm really come to a Stellar's Jay if his name is written "Stellar Jay"?  She was corrected on the identification of one of the birds, then more people chimed in to disagree and argue about who was right. I shook my head in disappointment . . . they all seemed to be missing the point of her post. Then someone commented on how much they loved Stellar's Jays and that they were told by a Park Ranger that they are actually considered a nuisance bird but that it didn't make her love them any less.  And the derogatory comments began to fly . . . about the park ranger . . . about what birds are indigenous to our areas and which ones aren't . . . and what people do to the birds they don't "like" . . . the more I read, the more my heart sank.  My poor neighbor just wanted to share an uplifting post with some amazing photographs she had taken and instead people couldn't seem to make negative comments fast enough.

It got me thinking about how often things devolve this way - especially in social media . . and I thought about how much I wished people would pause before commenting . . . to take a breath and ask "Do I need to say this?" . . . Is it the end of the world if the spelling is wrong? Is it going to have a positive effect on the situation if I malign the unnamed Park Ranger?  Is it going to do any good at all? or is it just going to create negative energy? Is it just going to inspire more people to be negative?

When I was sitting with this last night, wondering why it bothered me so much, I realized that it comes down to how we treat people and treating people with kindness and respect is very important to me. It takes so little energy to treat others with kindness (or to follow my mom's rule of "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all")  We have choices all the time about how we say things . . . a few word changes and we can either help someone or really knock someone down.

Years ago, when I was working on my book (which still isn't done), one of the people who was helping me edit the book had a particularly harsh way of giving feedback. Instead of saying "you mention this here and then you mention it again in the next chapter, you probably only need to say it once" - she said "You're totally insulting the reader by saying this again, you're treating them like they aren't smart enough to remember information from the previous chapter!" I was stunned because I didn't have ANY intention of insulting someone who was reading my book.  The manner that she chose to give me feedback eroded my self esteem so much, I questioned whether it was worth it or not to get her assistance. It even made me question whether I should try and finish the book.

There is so much going on in the world right now and I get that people are frustrated and they are scared and yet to me, it seems like that makes it even MORE important to show others a little kindness.  Can we cut each other a little slack? . . . Can we take a breath and ask ourselves "Do I really need to say this?" or "Is there a nicer way I can say this?" Rather than hurting people's feelings and making them feel "less than" can we instead say things in a way that allows for a little grace?  Can we show each other just a little more kindness?  I think it would go a long way towards making this time we are in feel a little less frustrating and scary.