Quit Telling Me How Gorgeous I Am!

In the last few months, I have written about many of the wonderful adventures I have had with Kino, my foster dog.  Everyone keeps asking me why I haven't adopted him yet and the truth is, it is because Kino has some issues that have concerned me . . . issues that could keep him from being adoptable not just by me but by anyone.

One of those issues is that he is randomly aggressive towards people.  It's been quite a challenge for me to try to understand what's going on because there doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason to his reactiveness.  We can pass person after person on our walks, talk to some of them and he'll be fine and then all of the sudden something will set him off and he'll start barking at someone, sometimes lunging in their direction.  It's a little scary when it happens and frustrating for me that I haven't been able to figure out what causes it.

None of the people were wearing hats, some were men, some were women, they were different ages, different ethnicities.  I couldn't find a single common denominator that would tell me "This is what he is reacting to" so for months I have been playing Nancy Drew, trying to unravel the mystery.

Here is a picture of Kino trying to grab his rope toy and while there was nothing scary about it at the time (we were just playing), the picture captured an image that represents how scary he can look when he has one of his "reactions".

This past week, I finally figured part of it out . . . I realized that in at least 75% of the cases Kino turns into "Mr. Cranky" it's because someone has given him a compliment . . . phrases such as "Oh my god, what a beautiful shepherd" or "Wow, he is really gorgeous" seem to be the words that precede one of these episodes.

Now, it's one thing to understand it and something else entirely to resolve it, so currently I'm not sure what to do about it, short of carrying a big sign that says, "Please don't compliment my dog" when we are out and about.  It's not really a feasible solution though since I only have two hands and between holding the leash, the treats and the poop bag, it would be difficult to hold the sign as well.  :-)

I am reminded of an old boyfriend of mine who used to spend hours every week in the gym and consequently had a beautiful physique . . . but he hid it under baggy jeans and oversized shirts.  When I asked him why, he said it was because it bothered him that girls were only nice to him because of how good he looked.  I was never sure it was the truth, but it was his truth, so I had to honor that.  I have been wondering if Kino is suffering from the same mindset, wanting to be liked for who he is, instead of how he looks.  It's hard to say, but it really does seem to piss Kino off when people tell him how gorgeous he is.

I often tell people that our animals mirror the things we need to work on ourselves but I have checked myself on this one and while I may not have been able to in the past, I am able to accept compliments now.  In fact, I actually welcome them :-) so I don't think he is mirroring me in this case.  Something though, is making him overly sensitive to hearing people talk about how attractive he is and I've got to figure out how to help him get over it.

Currently, I am giving him treats whenever we walk past someone and he doesn't react, hoping this will assist us in the process but I suspect there is more for us to do to get him beyond this behavior.

I'll be sure to post an update if we figure out how to resolve this one.

More "Firsts" with Kino

I mentioned in a previous post that Kino tends to get very over-excited the first time we do something.  In recent weeks, we have had two more "firsts" that results in the usual level of over exuberance and I couldn't stop smiling as I witnessed his reaction to these new experiences.

One new experience was when Kino and I had our first trip to the beach together.  I was so excited to take him to one of my most favorite places in the world and hoped he would like it as much as I do.  He started out a little tentative, just taking in all the new sights and smells, but as we walked along the ocean his exuberance to get away from the water began to escalate. Each time the tide came in, he bolted up the sand, nearly taking me down each time.  I finally got smart and put him on my left, so his over-exaggerated flee from the water didn't result in me going for an unexpected dip in the ocean.  I began to worry that maybe I had over-done it when I had my talk with him about how dangerous it is to drink sea water.  Since he seemed to be afraid of even letting the water touch his feet, chances are I laid it on too thick.  No matter how many times I tried explaining to him that the water wouldn't hurt his feet, it didn't seem to matter.  He was determined to keep his feet dry the whole time we were there.

Since Kino doesn't consistently come when called, I was nervous about letting him off leash.  Therefore, I decided to walk really far down the beach to a deserted area where no one else was around.  I felt it would be safer to let him off leash to chase the ball down there and I was so glad I did because he was in absolute heaven.  In fact, when I first took his leash off, he ran around wildly in the sand, running and skidding with glee in his eyes for at least five minutes before I even got around to throwing the ball for him.  I think he was so excited to be free that he couldn't contain himself.  We spent a good hour chasing the ball and I giggled as I saw his reaction each time he got a mouth full of sand.  He would try getting the sand off the ball by dropping it, where it would just end up with even more sand on it.  He was perplexed but it didn't stop him from wanting to continue to play.

Our next "new experience" came when I decided to tackle a home improvement project and re-paint a room in my house.  While I was doing all the taping and the edging, Kino was perfectly well behaved, so once I finished that part, I thought it would be no big deal to start rolling the paint on the walls.  Boy did I have that one wrong.

Just as I had finished the first coat on one of the walls, Kino jumped up and excitedly started rubbing himself all over the freshly painted wall.  I was laughing so hard, I could barely get a convincing "No!" out of my mouth.  Unfortunately for me, he was so pleased with himself he went back to the wall, tail wagging, to rub himself on it again.  He was covered in paint.

I ran to the bathroom to wet a wash cloth so I could get the paint off his flanks as quickly as possible.  I was relieved by how easily it came off, but I didn't notice all the paint he got on his ears until it had already dried.  Consequently, I've got a German shepherd with blue tipped ears and I think they will be that way for a while.  Who knows, he may set a new trend in highlights for dogs.

I look forward to taking him to the beach again and hope that in time, he will be less fearful of getting his feet wet.  I am not sure I am going to paint anymore rooms though.  I may have to wait until the paint wears off his ears before we tackle another home improvement project.

Train Not Pain

Last weekend, while I was at a pet store trying to find more squeak balls for Kino, I overheard another customer ask an employee for help.  I heard her say, "I have a German shepherd who barks all the time so I want to look at the bark collars."  I could feel myself flinch at the thought of anyone using a bark collar, knowing how painful it is for a dog and how unfair it is to try to stop them from doing what they are naturally programmed to do - to alert us to potential danger.

For the next five minutes or so, I stood there, staring at squeak balls while a debate ensued inside my head . . . Should I speak up? Should I mind my own business?  She didn't ask ME for my opinion but I feel like animals count on me to be their voice at times.  I went back and forth, back and forth and ultimately came to the conclusion that the worst thing that could happen was that I might make the customer and/or the store employee mad.  I decided it was a chance I was willing to take.

I walked over to the customer and the employee who was helping her and said, "I couldn't help overhearing that you're having a problem with your German shepherd barking a lot.  I don't mean to be intrusive but I was able to train my previous shepherd to only bark 2-3 times and then stop and I am working on training my foster dog the same way right now.  Would you be interested in hearing how I did it?"  Fortunately for me, she was very receptive and she said, "Yes, please, I'd like to know because I really don't want to resort to using a bark collar and I don't want her to feel like she can't ever bark but our neighbor keeps complaining so I have to do something."

I told her about my approach, which involved thanking Lucky each time she barked by saying, "Thank you for letting me know someone was outside" and giving her a treat when she stopped barking.  Eventually she learned that she only needed to bark 2-3 times, just to alert me to someone's presence outside.  (So far, it only works 50% of the time with Kino, but he's so smart, I know he'll get the hang of it, once he realizes that not all people who walk by our house are a potential threat to our safety and security.)  :-)

The gal at the pet store said she was anxious to get home and give my suggestion a try.  Since it was a holiday weekend, she was happy to know she had an extra day to work on it with her dog.

So, I left the pet store with several new squeak balls for Kino (which seem to bring him more joy than anything else in the world) and gratitude in my heart that I pushed myself to take the risk and speak up, and that it was received as well as it was.

It takes more than sage

In recent weeks, I have learned that it can often require a lot more than sage to cleanse a house and address some of the things that may be occurring in our homes.  It all started last month, when I was first working with Kino on the "sit" command. I was at the kitchen table working on my laptop and throwing the ball across the room for Kino (because it is a requirement that he get as much attention as my computer).  :-)

At one point, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed him stop at the base of the stairs and stare at something on the staircase. I stopped what I was doing to observe him and it was then that I saw him sit, in a perfect sit, and then cock his head to the left and to the right, the way he does when I am talking to him.  I figured it must be the little girl spirit that has been in my house as long as I have been here.  I forget she's here, since I don't see spirits, but from time to time, either a child or a dog who is visiting will remind me that she is here.

I mentioned the experience with Kino to a friend and she pointed out that even though I didn't mind having spirits in the house, that it's actually not fun for them to be stuck here.  I decided to have someone come over the next week to help the little girl cross over.

I thought the focus was going to be on helping the little girl, so I was quite shocked when the gal began picking up all sorts of other things when she got to my house.  She felt dark, murky energy and she sensed it originated under my house.  She asked me, "How do you concentrate?  This energy is so dense, I don't know you can focus."  The wheels in my mind started to churn, as I realized that I DID have a very difficult time concentrating.  I had also been having a really difficult time grounding myself and releasing energy that I absorbed from others.  The tools I had used for years no longer seemed to work and I couldn't figure out why I was having so much trouble doing things that had always been relatively simple.  I had been on a mission all year to find new tools to help me and had only been mildly successful.

As I sat with the information I was getting, more of the puzzle pieces started to click into place.  It had all started about a year ago when the city was doing a major sewer project outside of my house.  I thought at the time it was just the incessant jack hammering that was making it so difficult for me to focus, or ground myself or release energy but the more I thought about it, the more I began to realize that it had never gotten any better after the project was complete.

She was able to determine the origin of the disturbance under my house (a very ugly battle that took place on the land many many years ago) and it made sense that things got stirred up when they were doing all that digging outside of my house.  She was able to release all the old, murky energy and restore balance to the land under my house.

With her help, the little girl, who passed away when her father was working on the construction of my house, was finally able to cross over.  It seems she had been trying to find him all these years and I was glad she was finally able to leave this plane and I pray she has at long last reunited with her father.

I had always thought a house cleansing was just about saging.  I have done it many times, not just at my own house, but at friend's houses as well and I assumed that was all that was needed to cleanse a space.  I never thought about spirits who may be stuck on this astral plane or wounds in the land underneath the structures we live in.

It was an eye opening and very positive experience for me.  It has been a relief the last few weeks to be able to stay grounded, to release the energy I pick up from others, to concentrate (well, as long as I don't have a 90 lb. puppy vying for my attention) and I'm even sleeping more peacefully at night.  I wish I had thought to do it sooner, but I also trust that we find our right next step exactly when we are supposed to . . . so I will assume this all unfolded the way it was meant to.

The Fostering Adventure Continues

It's never a dull moment around here with my foster dog Kino.  One of our challenges has been that he gets over-excited the first time we do something he’s never experienced before, so each "first" can be a bit overwhelming. 

The first time he saw me dust the house he went wild. “Is that a toy? Can I have that? Should I bite that? How can I help?  Are you sure I can't bite that rag?”

The first time I sunbathed on my stomach in front of him, he was thinking “Wow, the small of her back is the perfect place to put my tennis ball” and he proceeded to munch on his tennis ball in the small of my back, again and again until I finally gave up trying to get my back tan.

The first time I stood in the tub and shaved my legs in front of him, he thought we were playing a new game--one where you try to lick the water and soap off my legs in a wild frenzy before I can touch my leg with the razor. 

The first time I took him to a pet store, he yanked me all over the store to the point where one of the employees handed me a brochure for their beginner training course.  I was humiliated that we looked like we hadn't done an ounce of training prior to that afternoon.  She looked at me like I was fibbing when I told her that I was an animal communicator.  

The first time I asked him to “Wait” while I put his food down, he was befuddled.  “What are you doing?  Are you crazy?  That’s my food!  Why would I wait for it? I want it NOW! If this is some new game, I don't like it.” 

Fortunately each time we do these things, his reaction is less over the top, he's calmer and not frantically trying to make the most of the new experience - well, with all of them except the sunbathing.  I haven't had the guts to try laying on my stomach again since that first time because feeling those gigantic teeth in the small of my back is not what I would call relaxing, but with everything else, each time he is more at ease than the time before.  

One of our other challenges is that he has still been over protective of me and the house, so greeting people at the door was something I was beginning to dread.  I knew we needed to get better at this, so I had several friends come over last week so we could work on having him sit and wait while I opened the door and they entered the house.  The first couple times, it was a disaster, (Sit? Stay? What? Do you want me to bite them?) but eventually, he started to show signs of progress and I was feeling less stressed about having people come to the house.  There was still the issue of him competing with my friends for attention, but one thing at a time, right? 

Yesterday, a man came to the house and once again, we appeared to not have done an ounce of training as he barked and lunged at the guy.  It hadn't occurred to me that it had only been my girlfriends coming to the house and that he might react differently with a man.  

So today, I got one of my guy friends to come over and we worked on our door greetings.  Kino sounded pretty ferocious the first time I opened the door and he did attempt to lunge, but my friend Joe wasn't deterred.  He kept leaving and coming back and with each knock on the door, Kino got better and better.  When we wrapped up our official training session, Kino decided that Joe was alright and insisted on laying on the floor with him, frequently resting his head on Joe's leg.  

I know training is a process. It's all about consistent practice and positive reinforcement so that's what I am committed to doing.  Hopefully in time, we will have covered all the "firsts" we could possibly cover and we'll look less "untrained" to the casual observer.  In spite of our focus on training, I'm also making sure that Kino gets a chance every day to be a puppy.  After all, he's only a year old and he deserves to have goof-off time every day.  It's a nice reminder for me that sometimes it's good for the soul to just goof-off and act like you don't have a care in the world. 

End of Life Decisions

In the last couple of weeks, I have had two animal clients make their transition.  It is such a difficult time for us two-legged folks and we labor over the decisions we need to make, wanting to ensure that we make the right choices as far as our animals are concerned.

Both clients had two of the same questions for their animals and I realized they are the same two questions that most people want to ask their pets.  1) Do you want help from a vet to make your transition? or would you rather do it naturally? and 2) Do you want to be buried or cremated?

No matter how many animals I have asked these questions of, the answer is always the same:  "Whatever my mom and/or dad wants."

To them, what is most important is US and how we feel.  They want us to be comfortable, they want us to be at peace, so whatever will make us comfortable and give us peace is what they want.

They don't care what happens to their bodies after they transition because they don't associate with it anymore.  If their guardian wants to bury them in the yard, that's fine with them.  If their guardian wants to cremate them and spread the ashes somewhere, that's fine with them.  As long as their guardians feel good about the decision, the animals is on board.

As for euthanasia, I will say that most animals would prefer to not go into a vet office to make their transition and would prefer to be in the safety and comfort of their home with their loved ones around if they need assistance making their transition.  I do find that since animals are here to teach us and help us grow, they often are working on fulfilling their purpose right up the very last minute, therefore, they don't necessarily want their time cut short, and would rather have a natural passing.  They also know that can be really hard on us, so animals will usually tell me that if it gets to to be too hard for their guardian to let them go on their own, they are fine with getting medical assistance to make their transition.

It is a time where we struggle to do what is right for them but I can assure you that what is most important to them is that we make decisions that give us the peace, the closure and the comfort that we need.  In their eyes, we can do no wrong.  They have the wonderful ability to see everything through the eyes of compassion and understanding and they always trust that what is meant to be is what will unfold.

Bless our beautiful animal companions-teachers-guides.  We are so lucky to have them in our lives.

Adventures in fostering

Almost 3 weeks ago, I decided to foster a 90 pound 11 month old german shepherd named Kino who was in danger of being euthanized.  I was told that he hadn't received any training and had pretty much spent most of his life alone in the family's backyard.  I didn't quite grasp what that meant until we got home from the shelter.  :-)

Week one:  On top of discovering that he had a raging ear infection that had not been treated, and finding that he was going to fight me with every tooth in his mouth to keep me from getting the medicine in his ears, I found myself having to "correct" him almost every minute of every day.  He wasn't potty trained, he wasn't leash trained, he thought it was OK to put his paws on the stove, the kitchen table and any other place he felt like.  He threw himself into my lap if I tried to eat, he lunged at people when we were out for a walk and every time I tried to get dressed, he assumed that I was inviting him to a game of tug of war when I attempted to put underwear on.  He stepped on my feet fifty times a day and at 90 pounds, it really hurt.  Holy-Moly, I wasn't sure what I had gotten myself into.

Week two:  He stopped having accidents in the house.  He learned to sit and to take a treat from my hand without biting my hand.  When we were out for a walk, he pulled less on the leash and was a little calmer when we encountered people, although he would still yank on the leash to try to greet them.  After only one reminder to leave my food alone, I could eat while he laid calmly at my feet.  He discovered Lucky's toy basket and began letting his playful side emerge.  We still had our challenges though.  He barked and jumped on people who came to the house and started becoming overly protective of the house.  He refused to spit out things he wasn't supposed to have in his mouth and would defiantly swallow them in front of me. Consequently, I repeatedly found my ear plugs as well as the stuffing from almost every toy he ever played with each time I cleaned up poop in the yard.  And still, my friends started placing bets on how long I was going to pretend I was just fostering him.


Week three:  Our communication has greatly improved.  When we are out for a walk, I remind him that it needs to be the person's choice if they want to greet him and he will calmly walk past people who haven't expressed an interest in petting him.  He knows that when I say, "Clean up after yourself" after I've given him an ice cube to munch on, it means he needs to get all the little chunks of ice that he left on the floor.  He doesn't believe me yet when I tell him that we need to allow birds and squirrels in the yard so that's still a work in progress and I still don't know how he would behave with other dogs if he was off leash, so we've still got some work ahead of us.  When we're in the house by ourselves, we are in almost perfect harmony.  He no longer feels the need to "help" with the crossword puzzle by pulling the pen out of my hand and I'm getting dressed now without any "assistance."  I am truly enjoying my new "not-so-little" companion.

and I am still trying to profess that I am merely fostering him.