Planting Seeds

The other day, one of my clients was expressing the disappointment she felt over a friend who wasn't taking her advice. I said to her something I have said hundreds of times . . . "Sometimes we have to hear something several times before we're ready to hear it." I think that if we feel compelled to share something, we should share it. The trick is to not be attached to the outcome and trust that when the person is ready, they will be opened to it, that sometimes when we are sharing something, we are just "planting a seed" and the seed won't turn into a flower for some time.

My client knows how much I live by Louise Hay's book, "Heal Your Body," which is about the mind/body connection, so I told her that when I was first introduced to the book, I thought it was a bunch of "Whooey" and was completely closed off to it. I told her that it took years, and seeing the book multiple times, before I really "got it" and fully embraced it. As I was explaining the process I went through to finally embrace the mind-body connection, I realized it might make a good blog post, so I decided to share the story with all of you.

Back in the late 80s, I was struggling with a health issue and a coworker handed me a copy of Louise Hay's book. I looked up a physical ailment I was having and when I read what the emotional root cause could be, I didn't want to see what it said. I think it was because I didn't want to feel that "responsible" for what was going on with me physically and the last thing I needed was to feel like something else was "my fault" . . . so I promptly gave the book back to my coworker and basically said, "Thanks, but no thanks."

The second time I saw the book, it was about three or four years later. I was at the chiropractor's office, waiting for my appointment and I saw the book on the shelf in the waiting room. I picked it up and looked up "upper back pain" because that's why I was in that day and the emotional root cause was "feeling unloved." I couldn't deny that it kind of fit . . . as I had just broken up with my boyfriend because he was cheating on me and I was definitely "feeling unloved" so it did kind of make sense . . . but I still wasn't ready to fully embrace the idea, and I put the book back on the shelf and forgot about it again for several more years.

My third experience with the book was after I adopted Lucky. In our early time together, she threw up 10-12 times a week and had a myriad of other health ailments, like weird breathing problems, etc. I kept bringing her to the vet, having them run test after test, but they could never come up with an explanation for why she was throwing up or why she was having the weird breathing problems, etc. I was at my wits end, frustrated that I couldn't help her and fearful that I was letting her down by not being able to solve the problems she was having. That's when I picked up the book again.

As I looked up each of the physical ailments Lucky was experiencing, I could see how the emotional root causes listed for each ailment made perfect sense for what she had been through in her early life (used as pit bull bait, beaten by humans, thrown in a dumpster and left for dead). I had a grand "a-ha" moment - and I finally realized just how much sense the book made. I went back and looked up the physical ailments I was still struggling with and for the first time, I could really see how the emotional root cause for each one of them made perfect sense for me too. 

I think maybe the book was less scary to me then because I could see how it made so much sense for Lucky. I also knew that nothing that happened to her was "her fault" so it was easier to read Louise's book without feeling like I was being blamed for what was going on with me either. 

It was then that I began approaching healing from a completely different vantage point, focusing on the emotional root cause of what was being manifested. By addressing the emotional root causes, Lucky and I both healed. Some of them took a little while, but eventually, the physical ailments we were both struggling with subsided.

Since then, I have referred to "Heal Your Body" as my bible. I live by it, I use it for myself, I use it with my clients. It is always on the kitchen table because I refer to it so often and it seems that almost weekly, I get emails from friends saying, "This is going on with me, will you look it up in your Louise Hay book?"

I had the wonderful treat of reconnecting with that old co-worker a few years ago. I told her the story I just shared with you and told her how grateful I was that she had "planted that first seed." The funny thing was, she didn't even remember that I was so closed off to the book when she shared it with me. I told her it must be a sign that she truly was embodying the most important rule of sharing . . . that you aren't attached to the outcome. She felt moved to share the book with me and she never gave another thought to whether or not I was opened to what it said.

So keep trusting that if you feel compelled to share something, it means you should share it. And also trust that people will hear things when they are ready . . . that sometimes our job is to just "plant a seed."

Dying To Be Me

One of my clients loaned me a book she bought called, "Dying To Be Me" by Anita Moorjani.  It is the most amazing book - one that I would highly recommend to anyone who is looking for guidance or trying to make more sense of their journey.

It is written by a woman (Anita) who had cancer.  The cancer ravaged her body for four years and after her body had withered away to almost nothing and her organs were shutting down, she slipped into a coma. It was then that she had a NDE (near death experience) and when she came back and came out of her coma, she completely healed from the cancer.  Her story has received attention from all over the world; medical professionals who wanted to understand how the "impossible" could have occurred and spiritual leaders who wanted to understand all that she learned on "the other side."

She brought back many messages from the other side, such as: We are all one, We are love at our core, We are magnificent, etc.  She learned that all judgement, hatred, jealousy and fear stem from people not realizing their true greatness, that lacking awareness of our perfection keeps us feeling small and insignificant and therefore, that's what we create for ourselves.

As I read her words, I could feel the "Truth" in them . . . I have always believed that we know how magnificent we are when we first come into this world and then over time, our beliefs erode and are replaced by new beliefs . . . and unfortunately, most of our new beliefs don't support the notion that we are divine, magnificent beings.  I believe that part of our journey here is about reconnecting with what we knew when we were born . . . tapping into that knowledge and finding our gifts, so that we can be the radiant beings we were meant to be.

She said that she learned that we are one with the universe and that our purpose is to be our magnificent selves.  She also learned that the external world truly is only a reflection of what is inside us, so she now lives her life from joy instead of fear.

She realized that before her NDE, everything she did was to avoid pain or to please other people.  She says, "I was caught up in doing, pursuing, searching and achieving and I was the last person I ever took into consideration.  My life was driven by fear - fear of displeasing others, of failing, of being selfish and or not being good enough  In my own head, I always fell short."  That part caught my eye because I know how many of us struggle with those very fears and I could see myself in that description for most of the first 35 years of my life.

She also said, "The external world mirrors what we feel about ourselves.  By letting go of any negative self-judgment, we allow our world to transform, and as it does so, we'll be able to feel greater and greater trust.  The more we're able to trust, the more we're able to let go of trying to control the outcome.  When we try to move with this flow, rather than adhere dogmatically to the doctrines of others or the beliefs we once had that no longer serve us, we more accurately reflect who and what we truly are."

It confirmed for me the importance of really loving and honoring ourselves.  When we truly love ourselves unconditionally and feel free to be ourselves fearlessly, anything is possible . . . it is from that space that I believe we are supposed to live.  That concept is a big part of the work I do with my clients, as well as the basis of the work I have done with myself.

And as someone who used to believe that our existence here was "hell" and we had to get through this experience to get to "heaven" . . . I can now say that I am finally understanding more about how to experience "heaven on earth."  If you feel moved to do so, pick up a copy of Anita's book.  Chances are, it will resonate with you in much the same way that it resonated with me.

Learning to communicate

About a year ago, one of my best friends from high school told me she was interested in learning to communicate with animals.  I encouraged her to explore it, as I believe we ALL have the ability and it's just a matter of learning to USE the ability.

Within a few weeks, she had picked up a few animal communication books and had been practicing a bit with her own animals.  She wasn't confident in her abilities yet, so when we got together for dinner, she peppered me with questions about how I communicate with animals, and how I learned to trust the information I was getting, etc.  We had a great conversation that night and it was fun for us to find yet another common interest after all these years.

Over the next month or so, I got frequent email updates from her about how her "communications" were going.  She was feeling more confident in her abilities, but still not ready to tell anyone that she could communicate with animals.

As time went on, she mentioned it less often, but we always have plenty of other things to talk about, so I didn't give it much thought.  She did tell me she had started volunteering at a horse sanctuary by her home up north and she was loving it.  Originally, she went because her daughter was interested in helping the horses, but within a matter of weeks, they decided it would be a mother/daughter effort, since they were both enjoying it so much.

A few months ago, she was in town and we were sitting at a coffee shop catching up when a black lab walked in with his guardian.  The dog made a bee-line for us and we were both more than happy to visit with him.  After we had both pet him and oohed and aahed over his silky black coat, he walked back over to my friend and put his head in her lap . . . and he stayed there . . . for at least 10 minutes.

His guardian really had to work hard to get him to walk away from my friend, but once they were gone, I asked her what was wrong, as she had a slightly uncomfortable look on her face.  She shook her head and said, "Nothing's wrong." So I said, "What did he say to you?" Her eyes got really wide and she admitted that she didn't know why he was so drawn to her, since I was the animal communicator and that it made her uncomfortable and she worried that it would bother me, etc.  I smiled at her and said, "We BOTH communicate with animals!"

Then I asked her again, "So, what did he say to you?" and she said that all she got was, "You can do it." but she wasn't sure what that meant and she didn't "listen" anymore because she was more focused on trying to figure out why he came to her and not me.  I told her that what I picked up from him was that he wanted her to trust her abilities to communicate, that there were animals who wanted her to listen to them.

Immediately, we both thought about the horses at the sanctuary, and I asked her if she had been trying to communicate with them.  She confessed that she hadn't, that she had put it out of her mind because she wasn't sure she could really do it.  I encouraged her to start trying again and she agreed that she would.

The next week, she called to tell me that she had been at the horse sanctuary and something compelled her to bring some water over to one of the horses . . . and when she did, he drank and drank and drank. She said, "I don't know how I knew but I knew he needed water," and I laughed and said, "It's because he told you!"

Since then, every time we talk, she excitedly shares stories with me about her communications with the horses, and she's never sounded happier.  It seems the sanctuary has become a sanctuary for her as well. We are both very grateful to the sweet black lab who inspired her to start trusting her abilities again . . . and my guess is, the horses are pretty grateful to the black lab as well.

Future Rescue worker

I don't intentionally eavesdrop on my next door neighbor.  In my defense, their 5 year old daughter really does talk loud so it's almost impossible not to overhear her conversations.  I also know that most of what is going to come out of her mouth is going to make me smile, so to be honest, I don't avoid listening either.

Recent activity has led me to believe that this sweet little girl might end up running an animal rescue group or an animal shelter one day.  She seems to really have the process down already.  I'll hear her asking her mom "Would you like a dog?  I have many you can choose from.  Do you want a Lab or a Chihuahua?"  (Her "rescue group" seems to help mostly Labs and Chihuahuas).  "What color do you want?" (and then she'll list off all the available colors . . . black and tan, black and white, solid black, brown, etc).  Her mom will graciously make her selection and then I'll hear her say, "Ok, stay right there, I am going to go get your new dog for you.  I think you are going to be very happy together."

They've been playing this "game" a lot lately and it just tickles me.  The other day, the little girl could see me through the crack in the fence between our yards and she yelled, "Maureen, do you want to see one of my chihuahuas?"  I said I'd love to, and put my face up by the crack in the fence.  She was holding up a plastic dog that was as big as a real chihuahua.  I told her I thought he looked like a really nice dog and she said, "I know, all of my dogs are really nice."  She hasn't asked me yet if I would like to adopt one but I have a feeling she may ask sometime soon.

It reminds me of a game that my friends and I played when we were little.  We pretended that we ran a Hilton Hotel that was only for people looking for a place to stay with their pets.  I have no idea where the idea came from but my parents were very supportive.  My dad gave us a phone to use (that of course was not plugged in) so we could take the calls that were coming in and my mom gave us index cards and a little recipe holder to keep track of the reservations.  We would even pretend to get calls from people who didn't have pets and we would tell them they should call another hotel, as our hotel was only for people who wanted to travel with their cats and dogs.

Many years ago, when I first heard about hotels that allowed pets, I was so excited.  I decided there must have been some other kids playing that same game when they were young and I was thrilled to know they finally made it a reality.  It makes you wonder how much we really do know when we are little about what path our lives will take when we get older.

The wonderful thing about my darling little next door neighbor is that even though she has all those dogs she is finding homes for, she still makes time for her "real" dog, Cricket.  The other day, I heard her say, "Cricket, do you want to go watch a movie together?" and then I heard her say a little louder, "Cricket, I am talking to you!  Do you want to go watch a movie together?"  He must have said yes, because I heard them both go inside and heard the sliding glass door close.  I hope Cricket enjoyed the movie but I am sure he was mostly happy just to be invited to join her.

The Joy of Opened Windows

The other day, my brother sent me a link to a video that he thought I would enjoy.  It was a video of dogs sticking their heads out of car windows.  I wasn't sure how exciting it was going to be but I gave it a shot anyway.  Much to my surprise, it had me smiling from ear to ear.

Seeing how happy these dogs were, with the wind blowing in their faces, I couldn't help but instantly be in a better mood.  It brought back memories of how much Lucky used to love sticking her head out the window and how patiently she would sit in the backseat, with her nose pressed against the glass, waiting for me to notice that she needed her window rolled down.

There were times when I was trying to concentrate on reading road signs and had to keep opening and closing the window for her . . .  and I wished I could teach her how to roll the window down herself.  :-)

And then I remembered the first time Lucky realized it was even more fun to put her head out of the sunroof.  She would put her feet on the console between the two front seats as we were getting close to the park and stick her head out the sunroof, looking as if she had just discovered the secret to happiness.

This little video made me smile so much, I am including it below so you can watch it too.  I dare you to try to NOT smile while you are watching it.

http://www.towleroad.com/2012/05/riding-in-cars-with-dogs-video.html

Honoring my mother

Yesterday was the 1 year anniversary of my mother's passing. We decided to get the family and some close friends together to mark the day.

We came up with the idea of having everyone bring a dish that reminded them of my mom - either something they made that she loved, or something she used to make that they loved. Everyone was excited about the idea and much to my delight, the menu came together perfectly and we had at least one of everything we needed.

We had some humorous moments in the weeks leading up to the celebration, as we sent my dad on multiple missions into the "cookbook cupboard" to find specific recipes. My poor dad was faced with the task of trying to read and transcribe recipes that had food stains on them and hand written notes from my mom about how she changed things from the original recipe. (sometimes with the notes conflicting with other notes she had written). :-) Everyone had a little bit of anxiety about "getting it right" as no one wanted to dishonor mom by messing up one of the dishes she was so well known for. :-)

As it turns out, I don't think the day could have been more perfect. The weather was beautiful so we set up a big table outside and as each dish was placed on the table, the "cook" shared the story of their dish and the memory it inspired about mom.

Once all the food was on the table, more story telling ensued, as we all recounted some of our funniest memories of mom, many of them somehow involving food, like the time our good friends came over for Thanksgiving and found my dad blow drying the turkey on the kitchen counter when they arrived. It was because mom thought she bought a fresh turkey but it turned out to be frozen. We didn't eat dinner until about 10pm that night and so many pre-dinner cocktails had been served that most people didn't remember dinner that year.

It was good to be together, to eat and to laugh because it was the best way to remember my mom. She loved to eat, and she loved to laugh . . . ok, a few tears were shed as well, but that seemed alright too. Before we all left last night, we each went home with some roses from my mom's rose garden. The perfect end to a perfect celebration. I'm sure my mom was pleased with the way we chose to honor her.

Someone told me once that you have to go through four seasons of grief before you start to feel more peaceful with a loss. I think of it often, in my own grief, and as I help others who are experiencing their own grief over a loss. Getting through the "first" of everything, the first of each holiday, the first of each special occasion can be a challenge . . . now that we have experienced our four seasons, I hope that whenever we think of my mom, it will only brings smiles to everyone's faces.

A new job for Buck

I recently met a wonderful dog named Buck who had started exhibiting some odd behaviors. He wasn't sleeping at night, he seemed anxious all the time, he was barking at every little sound, pacing around the house, etc. His family was really worried about him and asked me to come and have a "talk" with him.

The day before the appointment, I asked Buck's guardian if she could let him know that I was coming and explain why, as I have always found that animals are more receptive to talking to me if a) they know in advance and b) they know their guardians are ok with it. That night, she sent me the most precious picture. It was a photo of her three children all sitting on the floor with Buck and she said they were all telling him that it was ok to talk to me. :-)

When I met Buck, one of the first things I realized was that he felt it was his responsibility to protect the family. Through what I was hearing from Buck and as well as the conversation I was having with his mom, I learned that his dad had recently been working on a very important project for work and it was keeping him up late at night. Since his dad was "busy," Buck felt it was even more important for him to be taking care of the family, which explained why some of these behaviors became worse at night.

Ultimately, one of the solutions we came up with was to give Buck another job (since we didn't think his dad's company would understand if he said he couldn't finish the project because it was disrupting his dog's routine). :-) We assured him that his dad could still be responsible for protecting the family, even when he was busy working on the computer and we asked Buck if he could focus on being there for the kids, to be their buddy. We told him that kids really need someone to listen to them and someone to hear about their day at school, etc. We told him how important this job was and that it would really help the kids a lot.

That night, when the kids were home from school, their mom told them about Buck's new job and encouraged them to talk to Buck when they got home from school, or any time that they had something to share. They were all excited about the idea and said they would be more than happy to help Buck fulfill his new job.

Only a few days later, I got the most wonderful update from Buck's mom. She said that almost all the behaviors they had been concerned about had greatly subsided. The kids were all enjoying their conversations with Buck, Buck was sleeping better at night and able to go to sleep when mom did, even if dad was still up working on the computer. He was not barking at every little sound and he even allowed himself to relax on the floor during "story time" and enjoy being one of the kids.

For him to have made this big of a transformation so quickly was beyond exciting, in my opinion. It made me so happy to know that giving him a new job made such a difference for him. Fortunately for Buck, he has a very wonderful family that is committed to making sure he is a very happy member of their family. I suspect they will all continue to thrive with Buck's new job.